A.N. Thank you to everyone who reviewed!!! This chapter is dedicated to VeRyWiLdWiTcH, who is a great friend, but an even better competitor * evil cackle…* Don't ask. Thank you to SR-71 for the use of their song!!!!! Oh! And SEEKER-2000, Tadariada, and I have posted the 3rd chapter of Harry Potter and the Torch of Darkness!!!!

Please review!!!!!!!!!!!

Mal

Harry gave a low moan and dropped the paper. There was a twinge of pain in his scar. He slowly backed into the wall and slid down to the floor, putting his face in his arms.

"Harry? What's wrong?" Sirius exclaimed.

"The-The note…" Harry said softly. Sirius bent down and picked up the piece of paper.

"Harry… there's nothing on this paper," Sirius said, turning the paper over and staring at the back. Blank.

"Harry-" Sirius had rushed over to the boy who was now trembling violently. "What's wrong?"

Harry was muttering incoherently under his breath.

"Harry!"

He didn't seem to notice the man who was kneeling right in front of him.

I didn't ask for this… I don't want this life… why does it have to be me…

"HARRY!" Sirius shook Harry on the shoulder. "Snap out of it!"

Suddenly Harry jumped and backed away from Sirius.

"P-please! Don't-"

"Harry, are you all right?" Sirius interrupted.

"I'm f-fine!"

"No you're not!" Remus exclaimed, as he stared at the paper as well. "Harry, what is going on?"

Harry was trembling again, and he lowered his eyes to the floor.

"Harry? You can tell us…"

"I killed him…" Harry said so softly that the other two could hardly hear him. "I killed Cedric."

"Harry, no you didn't," Sirius said in a worried voice.

"He would be alive if it wasn't for me," Harry said. His eyes were glazed over slightly, and he wasn't stuttering at all. "I told him to take the cup with me…"

"Harry, that wasn't your fault, you didn't know-"

"That doesn't matter… I'm the reason he's dead."

"It's that bastard, Pettigrew's fault and you know it!" Sirius growled, shaking Harry's shoulder again.

"Is it? I wouldn't know… it's still…my…" Harry trailed off and put his head on his arms again.

"Harry it's not your fault," Sirius said. He shook Harry on the shoulder again, but Harry gasped and slid away.

"Harry?"

"W-what?"

"It's not your fault."

"What's not my f-fault?" Harry looked confused.

"What you just said."

"I-I didn't say anything… d-did I?"

Sirius stared at him in shock. "Of course you just said something! You-you said that… You don't remember?"

Harry shook his head slowly. Remus and Sirius looked at each other in bewilderment.

"What do you remember?" Remus asked softly.

"I-I remember opening t-th-the letter and seeing the D-D-D-" Harry shivered and then said, "And then my s-scar started h-hurting and… b-blank."

"Harry," Sirius said, turning to look at his godson, who refused to look into his eyes. "Do you want to go rest or something?" Harry nodded and got to his feet. Before anyone could say anything else he darted out of the kitchen and up to his room.

"What happened to him?" Remus asked.

~*~

I confess

It's all true

What a mess…

What a fool…

Now what do I do?

~*~

Harry didn't sleep for the next couple of nights, but he never told Sirius or Remus what he had seen on the paper. On the night before he went to the Weasleys he was going downstairs to get a drink of water. But he wasn't the only one there…

"Harry?" Came Sirius' voice from the living room. "What're you doing up so late?"

"I-I couldn't sleep," Harry said. "I'm just g-g-getting a drink of water. I'll g-go get it and leave you a-alone."

"Stay a while," Sirius replied. "I couldn't sleep either, we can talk or something."

Harry nodded and went to get his water. A moment later he was back in the living room, sipping the water.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" Sirius asked.

Harry shrugged.

"Dreams?"

Nod.

"Tell me about them," Sirius said.

"You wouldn't l-like them," Harry said. "They're…just…"

"They can't be that bad, and if they are, I've heard worse. Go on! Lie back and tell me."

Harry lay down on the couch.

"Well… they're mostly just f-from that…n-night," Harry said slowly. "You know… the night that-"

"The night Cedric died?"

Harry nodded. "Well, I keep s-seeing him being killed. Over and over again. And th-then I see V-Voldemort coming out of the cauldron… he's laughing… and then he shouts 'You k-killed him! It's all your fault-'"

"Harry it's not your fault," Sirius said.

"And then I look d-d-down at my hands, and they're covered in b-blood. Cedric's blood. It's like in that p-play, Macbeth or whatever, when Macbeth's w-w-wife goes crazy because she sees someone's blood on her hands, and she can't get it o-off no matter how hard she tr-tries. I feel like I'm g-g-going crazy, just l-like she did."

Sirius looked slightly confused. "Macbeth? I've never heard of that play."

"It's by a M-muggle playwright. Shakespeare."

Sirius shrugged. "Why haven't you told us about these dreams before?"

"B-because I didn't think you would understand…"

"Well, to tell you the truth, I don't. But Remus or I could have given you some potion for Dreamless Sleep."

"I know…. I d-didn't want to bother you…"

"Harry, its no bother," Sirius said. "Any more dreams that you would like to get off your chest?"

Harry thought for a moment, and then told Sirius about some of the other dreams that had been troubling his sleep.

An hour or so later they were still sitting there.

"How do you feel about going to see the Weasleys?" Sirius asked.

Harry shrugged and looked at the floor.

"Nervous?"

Nod.

"Why?"

"Because… what if they don't like me anymore?" Harry asked. "What if A-Azkaban's changed me so much that they don't want to be my friend?"

"Er… Harry, they've lived through you almost getting killed, what? One hundred times? I'm sure that a four week stay in Azkaban isn't going to break your friendship any more than that article about how you and Hermione were 'going out'."

Harry smiled, but he still looked worried.

"Don't worry about it. You're their best friend! You should have seen how worried they were. Hermione running into the Burrow in tears…"

"Really?" Harry asked quietly. "Hermione was crying because of me?"

"Yep. Ron owled and told us how worried they were, and how they were willing to do anything to help you get out of Azkaban. I bet Molly was ready to go marching into the Ministry and get in a fight with the Minister."

"I just don't know if I'm ready to face them though…"

"Well, look on the bright side. At least you have them by your side… and you're not stuttering as much anymore."

Harry frowned, and then smiled. "You're right."

"Of course I'm right! The Great Sirius Black is always right!"

Harry grinned again.

"Now, why don't you go and try and get some more sleep. Would you like some of that Dreamless Sleep potion?"

"No, that's okay, I'll manage. Thank you Sirius"

"Anytime. G'night."

"Good night."

~*~

I need your help to get up from my knees

I can seem to see the forest for the trees

As I wait in my silent mystery

All I'm asking is please

Forgive me

~*~

By the next morning Harry's nervousness had returned, full force. He didn't eat breakfast, and just stared intensely at his glass of orange juice. At random points he would raise his eyebrow and then slowly lower it.

"Harry, take your pills and go pack or something. All this staring is making feel like you're up to something," Sirius said. "James would always get that look, and the next thing you know Snape's hair catches on fire."

Harry scampered upstairs to his room. His backpack was pretty much packed. Sirius had shrunk Harry's broom so he could fit it in. He hadn't flown on the broom since he had been at school. Harry stuffed some more shirts and socks into his pack, took off his glasses, and flopped down on his bed.

A second later he was asleep…

Darkness… Swirling blackness flying overhead and swooping down. Harry was running as fast as he could. He saw a building up ahead, and he bolted to get inside. He yanked the door open and ran inside before the darkness could get him. The light was dim inside, and there were little voices coming from every direction.

"Welcome back, Potter…" said a soft voice. Suddenly Harry realized where he was. Azkaban. He was back.

"Harry… Harry…"

"No, p-please don't make me stay!"
"HARRY!" Harry sat straight up in his bed. Sirius was calling from downstairs.

"HARRY! IT'S TIME TO GO!" Harry reached over and pulled on his glasses. He was still shaking while he picked up his backpack and went downstairs.

~*~

Remus had decided to drive them to the Weasleys, because he wanted to get out before he transformed that evening. Harry was staring out the window, horribly nervous and not really paying attention to what was going on around him.

"Don't worry about it Harry," said one of the men from the front seat. Harry wasn't sure which.

"Do you have your broom? I'm sure that the twins, whatever there names are, would like to practice with you…"

Harry nodded.

"We should be there in a minute…" Harry's eyes got wide behind his glasses as they drove through the village of Ottery St. Catchpole. Harry could see the Burrow now. He could see the boots that were piled outside of the door. There were rings of smoke curling out of the chimney. The car pulled to a stop and Sirius got out.

Harry was staring at the back of the chair in shock. He wasn't ready for this….

Sirius opened the door to Harry's side of the car.

"Ready Harry?"

Harry shook his head vigorously.

"Come on," Sirius said. "It'll be all right… it's Ron and Hermione."

"I'm n-not ready…"

"You will be." Sirius took Harry by the arm. Harry started shaking and pulled his arm out of Sirius' grasp.

"Okay, I'll go. Just… don't…"

Sirius nodded and stepped aside, letting Harry get out.

Suddenly there was a shriek, making Harry jump nearly a foot in the air.

"HARRY!" Hermione was standing at the door with Ron beside her.

Harry stared at them as they came running across the lawn, and threw their arms around Harry.

Harry could only stand there in shock.

"We missed you so much!"

"Are you okay?"

"What happened?"

"You'd better be ready to eat, because mom's been cooking up a storm!" Harry just stood helplessly between them. Hermione was holding onto his left side, and Ron was on his right. Sirius just grinned at him.

"Harry? Why haven't you said anything?" Hermione asked, still not letting go of him.

Harry opened his mouth to reply. "I…I'm just so h-happy to see you…"

Hermione gave him an extra strong hug.

"Come on," Ron said. "We'd better go inside. When we left Mum was hyperventilating or something. She's bound to have a heart attack if you don't get in there soon…"

"Okay. One minute, let me get m-my stuff," Harry replied. He turned to Sirius and mouthed, "You were right."

"I'm always right," Sirius mouthed backed. He grinned as Harry picked up his backpack, grinned, waved goodbye to Sirius and Remus, and walked into the Burrow.