Cabin Five - Eternal Virgin
The cabin door banged open, letting in a swirl of snow and two figure who were huddling together for warmth.
"It is like, SO cold!" Kitty Pryde complained through chattering teeth.
"Yeah. Good thing I found this cabin, huh?" Lance Alvers said, closing the door behind him. A bizarrely familiar buck's head watched him from over the fireplace. It was creepy.
"If you count walking into the side of it as FINDING it," Kitty remarked. She walked over to the corner and picked up a decidedly unsanitary-looking blanket. "Gross, there's like, stains on this thing. I wonder what from?"
Lance glanced at the blanket and felt his eyes bug out from his head. He actually had a pretty good idea what those stains were…
"Uhhh, Kitty, I don't think you should touch that. It's probably uhm, diseased and stuff."
"But Lance, I'm totally freezing!" Kitty shivered prettily to demonstrate.
Lance wasn't so slow that he didn't realize this was his chance to play Big Strong Man. "C'mere," he said. Master of romance, oh yeah.
Kitty trotted over and the two sat together on the floor, cuddling. "This is nice," Kitty sighed.
"Yeah," Lance agreed, rubbing Kitty's arms gently. After a few minutes of such sweet, platonic affection he decided to make the best of a bad situation.
"LANCE!" Kitty shrieked. "Don't TOUCH those!"
"Whaaaaaat?"
"Lance, we just walked through a blinding snowstorm. I am SO not in the mood."
"Aw, come ON, Kitty! What's the use of being all alone in the middle of nowhere if we don't you-know, you know?"
"What? Hel-LO, try thinking with your brain and not your dick."
Lance snorted. That was downright impossible.
"Lance, I am totally serious. If you don't stop trying to grab my goodies then I am throwing you out of this cabin."
"Fine."
"Good."
"You touch me, then."
"WHAT?!"
"Come on, we can use that blanket so it doesn't get all over you…"
On that note, Lance was promptly thrown out into the snow. Fate had decided he was just never going to get any.
- - -
Wolverine entered the simple log cabin alone, thinking nostalgically of the last time he'd been there. "Man, was I plastered," he muttered to himself. He strolled across the room to the blanket lying in the corner, still thinking of his wild drunken ride down the side of the mountain some winters past.
Wolverine stopped, noticing the blanket's new crusty texture.
"You damn kids!" he yelled up at the ceiling.
- - -
End. Thankfully.
Yay for you if you caught the random Evil Dead reference.
