My father never said he loved me. To love makes you vulnerable so he
remained aloof. I suppose he loved my mother, in his own way. He never
showed either of us any affection. He was never cruel or violent towards
us, just indifferent.
I tried to be like him but I found it impossible. I was his opposite; I loved and cared too much. Where did that get me? Everyone I ever loved or cared about is gone. They either died or left me.
I am well aware that I have an attitude. I'm cocky, brash; I hit on all the ladies. They will never guess how much of an act it all is. It's my protective shield, my way of coping with my past. Underneath it all I'm scared. I'm emotionally crippled, or at least I was until I met her. I had decided that I would never allow myself to feel for anyone but then she turned up.
She stood in front of me, tall and beautiful and she cared about me. I'm an insignificant little mudfoot but she cared. I love her although I will never admit it, she allowed me to crack the shell that I'd built around my emotions. I would follow her to the end of the Universe. I would kill for her. I would die for her.
I tried to be like him but I found it impossible. I was his opposite; I loved and cared too much. Where did that get me? Everyone I ever loved or cared about is gone. They either died or left me.
I am well aware that I have an attitude. I'm cocky, brash; I hit on all the ladies. They will never guess how much of an act it all is. It's my protective shield, my way of coping with my past. Underneath it all I'm scared. I'm emotionally crippled, or at least I was until I met her. I had decided that I would never allow myself to feel for anyone but then she turned up.
She stood in front of me, tall and beautiful and she cared about me. I'm an insignificant little mudfoot but she cared. I love her although I will never admit it, she allowed me to crack the shell that I'd built around my emotions. I would follow her to the end of the Universe. I would kill for her. I would die for her.
