Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop, or "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes", which belongs to Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Now shoo, evil lawyers.
*
It's getting to the point
Where I'm no fun anymore
I am sorry.
Sometimes it hurts so badly
I must cry out loud
I am lonely
I am yours, you are mine,
You are what you are
And you make it hard-
*
Bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, BORED. I hate being bored. I need something to challenge me. Now. I'm going to go insane if I don't find something to do…
"Hi, Spike…"
I looked up. Faye was leaning over my shoulder grinning.
"What did you do?"
"Normally the correct response to that is, 'Hi, Faye. How are you?'" I raised an eyebrow and rolled my eyes. She shrugged and sat next to me. She's been doing that a lot lately… sitting next to me, I mean. I wonder why.
Earth is so boring… I wish we had a bounty to catch. I'm sick of eating food in a cup and having only Ed on computer, Ein beating Jett at chess, and Faye in a bathrobe to entertain me. Not that any of those things are all that entertaining to begin with… Except maybe Faye in a bathrobe. Everytime I see her like that I have a millions ideas on how to annoy the hell outta her run through my head. Usually I'll pick one and then plan out exactly how I'd go about doing it. Like turning off all the hot water on the ship, just before she gets into the shower. Or bribing Ein into stealing her clothes while she's in the shower already. I never do any of them, but they're fun to plan out anyway. I HATE being BORED…
*
Remember what we've said, and done, and felt
About each other
Please have mercy
Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now
I am not dreaming
I am yours, you are mine
You are what you are
And you make it hard-
*
"Where is everyone?" I looked at her.
"I think they went to get food," I replied.
"…So it's just us?"
"…I guess so…" Faye suddenly seemed very self-conscious. She pulled a cigarette pack out of her coat and slid one between her lips and lit it. She tried to do it as non-chalantly as she could, but I noticed her hands were shaking when she did it.
"Are you okay?" She inhaled deeply and smiled at me, trying to look calm.
"Sure, why?" I gestured toward her quaking hand. Her eyes widened and she stood up unsteadily.
"I'm fine."
"Whatever…" I shrugged. If she didn't want to tell me, she didn't have to. She turned back toward me and frowned.
"Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"Uh… well… I… I just wanted to… well… say… thanks." I blinked.
"For what?"
"…For everything you and Jett have done for me." I just stared at her for a moment, disbelieving. Did I just hear the phrase 'thank you' come out of Faye's mouth?
*
Tearing yourself away from me now, you are free
And I am crying. This does not mean I don't love you,
I do, that's forever, and always
I am yours, you are mine
You are what you are
And you make it hard-
*
"Uh… You're welcome… I guess…" I replied uncertainly. She just stared at me for a second, I can tell there was something else that she wanted to say, but couldn't bring herself to do it.
"Was there something else?" I asked. She looked away from me and thought for a second. This is new, Faye being shy. She walked back and sat on the table, directly in front of me. I sat back in surprise, she looked very determined, yet apprehensive at the same time. She wanted to ask me something, but was afraid of what my answer would be. That's what her eyes were telling me.
"…Do you still love Julia?"
I could feel my eyes widen a bit as the sentence sunk into my brain. Why does Faye want to know if I love Julia? Of course I love Julia… Don't I? I hesitated for a second, just a second.
"Yes… Why?" Faye stood up quickly and looked at the floor.
"Okay," she said quietly and then left the room. I watched her leave and stared blankly at the floor for a second. Why did she want to know that? Of course I love Julia. Though… I guess she's become more of an unreachable star. It's highly unlikely I'll ever see her again. I know I'll always love her, but Julia has become more of an Angel that I can never touch than a real person.
*
Something inside is telling me that
I've got your secret.
Are you still listening?
Fear is the lock, and laughter the key
To your heart
And I love you.
I am yours, you are mine
You are what you are
And you make it hard
You make it hard-
*
I could hear the sound of an engine starting and I realised that Faye was leaving. I got up and walked to the window. I watched as her small ship rise into the blue sky of Earth and fly toward land. Why did that upset her so much?
…I'm so oblivious. Last week, with the cigarettes… when we almost kissed. A few days ago when she was watching me play solitaire. Today… We were alone… Does Faye really like me that much? I'm the person who goes out of his way to annoy the hell out of her.
…I'm also the guy that has saved her ass more than once, and had my ass saved by her just as many times. I guess… She's never really had anyone she could truly trust. If she was telling the truth about the cryogenic sleep thing… everyone she's ever met since she woke up, have only been manipulating her and using her to get money.
Except us.
Well, sure, we were going to use her to get money, but we didn't did we? The beautiful, smart, and conniving gypsy. The only person I know that can beat me in a verbal battle. The only person, besides Julia, that can draw an emotion other than indifference out of me.
*
Friday evening, Sunday in the afternoon
What have you got to lose?
Can I tell it like it is? Help me I'm suffering
Listen to me-Help me I'm dying
It's my heart that's a suffering, it's a dying
That's what I have to lose
*
I wonder what it would be like to kiss Faye.
Julia had soft lips, delicate, I was almost afraid that I'd break her.
…Do I really like Faye that much? Like…
I guess I do… I like Faye…
No. It's more than like… but I don't know if I'd call it love, but it's definitely more than just 'like'.
Maybe I'm just lonely. Faye's the only woman I see everyday who's close to my age… Well, physically at least…
I like Jett, I like Ed, I like Ein… most of the time anyway… Faye… I… I really like Faye. I looked back out the window.
I hope she comes back. I think I'd miss her if she didn't.
*
I've got an answer
I'm going to fly away
What have I got to lose?
Will you come see me Thursdays and Saturdays?
What have you got to lose?
*
(Later that evening…)
I've been lying out here on the deck, watching the stars. I guess that's one thing I like about Earth. The night sky. You can see some of the meteors falling, it's really pretty. They're small specks of orange against the black, burning as they enter the atmosphere.
Faye hasn't come back yet. Jett wanted to know if we had had a fight. I told him no.
There. I can see her ship. It's right there. It's coming this way kind of slowly.
I stood up so she wouldn't land on me and backed into the shadows. She flew over the Bebop once, then twice, and then slowly descended. I watched as she landed and jumped out of her ship, shaking her head. She looked like she had been rolling in some leaves. Her hair was mussed and her clothes in disarray. She looked up at the sky and lit a cigarette. I could tell that she was hesitating. She couldn't decide whether or not to come back inside. I pulled a cigarette out of my pocket and lit it, letting her know I was there. She startled and glared at me.
"Spying?" she asked. I shrugged.
"Where were you?"
"Why do you care?"
"…Because… Uh… I think Ed would miss you." I'm so lame.
*
Chestnut brown canary, ruby-throated sparrow.
Sing a song, don't be long.
Thrill me to the marrow.
Voices of the angels, ring around the moonlight
Asking me, said she so free
How can you catch the sparrow?
*
"Just Ed?" she asked, walking toward me.
"Well, we all know that Jett would be happy to get rid of the person that uses up all the hot water…" I said, grinning. She stopped in front of me and smiled a little. Her eyes looked a little puffy, like she had been crying.
"…Yeah, I guess," she replied, flicking her cigarette into the ocean.
"…I guess I'd miss you too…" I said quietly. She looked at me, surprised. I stared out over the water and flicked my own cigarette in.
"…You would?"
"…Yeah. Who would I have to annoy?" I said smirking. She narrowed her eyes in annoyance, but smiled.
Silence.
"Faye… What I said about loving Julia…" She looked up at me, her eyes were full of sorrow and pain. She likes me more than I thought she did.
"Yes?"
"…Well… I… I do love her… but, well… she's more like… an impossible dream, than a person anymore…" I said. Faye was quiet, I let the information sink in.
"Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"I… I-"
"I know," I interrupted, smiling down at her. Faye gasped slightly and looked up at me, blushing. I stepped toward her and leaned down slowly. Then I kissed her.
I could feel her stiffen in surprise for a second, but she slowly relaxed and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back.
*
Lacy lilting lady, loosing love lamenting
Change my life, make it right
Be my lady…
