The Meeting
The following story takes place twenty hours after the events of The Phantom Menace. Chancellor Palpatine has returned to Coruscant after concluding his business on Naboo. Upon arrival he heads to a discreet nightclub for a drink or two.
Bartender: What'll it be?
Palpatine: Give me a pitcher of jimi juice, and don't hold back on the Jimi.
Bartender: As you command.
Bartender returns shortly with the pitcher and Palpatine hands over a few Republic credits.
Palpatine: Keep the change.
Bartender: You bet.
Immediately Palpatine hits the juice, chugging back an entire glass within seconds and pouring another.
A mysterious man next to Palpatine speaks up.
Mysterious Man: Any man needing that much jimi juice must be in a lot of pain.
Palpatine: Well I'm not ordinary man you know. I'm the Chancellor of this dump.
Mysterious Man: Are you? Well either this isn't the first bar you've paid a visit to or I've missed an election in my absence.
Palpatine: What would you know of pain anyways?
Mysterious Man: I'm a Jedi. In my life I caused and received more than my share of pain. Usually both are the cause for a drink.
Palpatine: Well I lost someone very dear to me recently. Technically he was my apprentice but he was more than that. He was also a confidant; always there when there was no one else was. And we agreed on everything: religion, politics, who should and shouldn't be destroyed. And now he's gone. One day he's tracing ships, the next he's cleaved in half. Why do these things always happen?
Mysterious Jedi: I'm sorry for your loss. I can sympathize though. Ironically enough I too lost an apprentice recently. A former apprentice but an apprentice nonetheless. He was also a good friend, better than most in fact.
Palpatine: Are most of your friends Jedi?
Mysterious Jedi: Yeah, I'd say so. And if there's one thing you can say about having Jedi Knights as friends it's that you're never short of designated drivers.
Palpatine: Heheheh. Far too many of them act as if they're carrying a second lightsaber lodged right where the sun don't shine.
Mysterious Jedi: Heh heh heh. Too true unfortunately. Oh, by the way I'm Dooku.
Palpatine: Nice to meet you Dooku. I'm Palpatine - your new Chancellor.
Dooku: Well if you don't mind I'll ask around before I pledge my allegiance.
Palpatine: Have it your way. I'm just sorry that I don't have my ID with me.
Dooku: Well how about a toast - to fallen apprentices.
Both Dooku and Palpatine raise their glasses and gently clink them together.
Palpatine: Here, here, and to the eventual destruction of the Jedi order.
Dooku pauses for a moment and puts his glass down.
Dooku: Excuse me?
Palpatine: Heheheh. Wow, the juice really affects me quickly. I don't even remember what I just said.
Dooku: It's understandable. The loss of an apprentice combined with jimi juice causes strange thoughts.
Palpatine: And strange desires.
A young boy barely the height of the counter appears and interrupts their conversation.
Young boy: Hey there! I couldn't help but overhear mention of strange desires. If it's strange desires you got it's strange results I can provide.
Palpatine: I think I'll stick to my jimi juice.
Young boy: Nahhh, jimi juice just gets you warmed up. For the main course you've got to have some death sticks. And no one has better death sticks than Elan Sleazebaggno.
Dooku: I don't believe we're interested. Besides shouldn't you be off selling to kids your own age?
Young boy: C'mon just take a closer look; you haven't lived until you've had one.
Palpatine: I believe that I've lived.
Dooku: I suggest you do as your Chancellor says, unless of course you want a closer look at my death stick.
Dooku pulls out his lightsaber and waves it around.
Dooku: However this death stick will make you feel far from alive.
Palpatine: That means death. Now get out of here before we turn our words into actions.
Palpatine splashes a glass of jimi juice on Elan and Elan skitters off.
Palpatine: I certainly have my work cut out for me if I'm to make this Republic half decent.
Dooku: I don't know if the Republic is salvageable anymore. You certainly have the least enviable job I can think of.
Palpatine: So you have accepted the truth that I am your Chancellor.
Dooku: Having done a quick Jedi probe I have revealed this to be the truth.
Palpatine: How ironic, being just about the only person who's not in here to be probed. Uhhh…. Just curious…did you get any other information during this probe of yours?
Dooku: As I say it was only a brief surface probe. The only other information I picked up was your strong distaste for the Republic; a distaste that actually seems stronger than mine, that along with your desires to radically change the system.
Palpatine: Well I do have an idea or two kicking around.
Dooku: Ideas I would love to hear about no doubt.
Palpatine finishes off his pitcher of jimi juice and looks around quickly.
Palpatine: I don't know, they're pretty radical ideas.
Dooku: Well, I like to think I'm a pretty radical guy.
Palpatine: That's what I'm picking up so far.
Dooku: I'm a very dissatisfied man right now. And when I'm dissatisfied it's time for a change, the bigger the better usually.
Palpatine: You know this has been a very interesting time for me. And I believe that you might just be the person to make things even more interesting. Perhaps with our combined forces we can really hit this galaxy where it hurts and make it take notice.
Dooku: Do you know how long I've waited for someone to make such an offer?
Palpatine: A while?
Dooku: Yes.
Palpatine: Of course we would have to take this discussion elsewhere to go into further details.
Dooku: Naturally.
Palpatine: Also what we put into motion will likely take time to come into fruition. We're probably looking at a rough estimate of ten years.
Dooku: Ten years isn't all that long a wait for fruition.
Palpatine: That's what I always say. But most want fruition in five years tops.
Dooku: Fools and amateurs all of them.
Palpatine: This has certainly been a most interesting time, most interesting.
Dooku: For me as well, and hopefully about to get even more interesting.
Palpatine: Of that there is no doubt. Now let us first of all deal with plans for getting back to my office. I'm far too wasted on jimi juice to drive.
Dooku: Not a problem. I've had but one drink and need a ride.
Palpatine: It truly seems as though we are too perfect a match. Now let us go. As the new Chancellor I have no desire to be seen spewing in a nightclub.
Dooku: Finally wisdom will be brought back to the galaxy.
Palpatine holds his stomach and wobbles slightly as he stands up.
Palpatine: Better hurry. This way.
The following story takes place twenty hours after the events of The Phantom Menace. Chancellor Palpatine has returned to Coruscant after concluding his business on Naboo. Upon arrival he heads to a discreet nightclub for a drink or two.
Bartender: What'll it be?
Palpatine: Give me a pitcher of jimi juice, and don't hold back on the Jimi.
Bartender: As you command.
Bartender returns shortly with the pitcher and Palpatine hands over a few Republic credits.
Palpatine: Keep the change.
Bartender: You bet.
Immediately Palpatine hits the juice, chugging back an entire glass within seconds and pouring another.
A mysterious man next to Palpatine speaks up.
Mysterious Man: Any man needing that much jimi juice must be in a lot of pain.
Palpatine: Well I'm not ordinary man you know. I'm the Chancellor of this dump.
Mysterious Man: Are you? Well either this isn't the first bar you've paid a visit to or I've missed an election in my absence.
Palpatine: What would you know of pain anyways?
Mysterious Man: I'm a Jedi. In my life I caused and received more than my share of pain. Usually both are the cause for a drink.
Palpatine: Well I lost someone very dear to me recently. Technically he was my apprentice but he was more than that. He was also a confidant; always there when there was no one else was. And we agreed on everything: religion, politics, who should and shouldn't be destroyed. And now he's gone. One day he's tracing ships, the next he's cleaved in half. Why do these things always happen?
Mysterious Jedi: I'm sorry for your loss. I can sympathize though. Ironically enough I too lost an apprentice recently. A former apprentice but an apprentice nonetheless. He was also a good friend, better than most in fact.
Palpatine: Are most of your friends Jedi?
Mysterious Jedi: Yeah, I'd say so. And if there's one thing you can say about having Jedi Knights as friends it's that you're never short of designated drivers.
Palpatine: Heheheh. Far too many of them act as if they're carrying a second lightsaber lodged right where the sun don't shine.
Mysterious Jedi: Heh heh heh. Too true unfortunately. Oh, by the way I'm Dooku.
Palpatine: Nice to meet you Dooku. I'm Palpatine - your new Chancellor.
Dooku: Well if you don't mind I'll ask around before I pledge my allegiance.
Palpatine: Have it your way. I'm just sorry that I don't have my ID with me.
Dooku: Well how about a toast - to fallen apprentices.
Both Dooku and Palpatine raise their glasses and gently clink them together.
Palpatine: Here, here, and to the eventual destruction of the Jedi order.
Dooku pauses for a moment and puts his glass down.
Dooku: Excuse me?
Palpatine: Heheheh. Wow, the juice really affects me quickly. I don't even remember what I just said.
Dooku: It's understandable. The loss of an apprentice combined with jimi juice causes strange thoughts.
Palpatine: And strange desires.
A young boy barely the height of the counter appears and interrupts their conversation.
Young boy: Hey there! I couldn't help but overhear mention of strange desires. If it's strange desires you got it's strange results I can provide.
Palpatine: I think I'll stick to my jimi juice.
Young boy: Nahhh, jimi juice just gets you warmed up. For the main course you've got to have some death sticks. And no one has better death sticks than Elan Sleazebaggno.
Dooku: I don't believe we're interested. Besides shouldn't you be off selling to kids your own age?
Young boy: C'mon just take a closer look; you haven't lived until you've had one.
Palpatine: I believe that I've lived.
Dooku: I suggest you do as your Chancellor says, unless of course you want a closer look at my death stick.
Dooku pulls out his lightsaber and waves it around.
Dooku: However this death stick will make you feel far from alive.
Palpatine: That means death. Now get out of here before we turn our words into actions.
Palpatine splashes a glass of jimi juice on Elan and Elan skitters off.
Palpatine: I certainly have my work cut out for me if I'm to make this Republic half decent.
Dooku: I don't know if the Republic is salvageable anymore. You certainly have the least enviable job I can think of.
Palpatine: So you have accepted the truth that I am your Chancellor.
Dooku: Having done a quick Jedi probe I have revealed this to be the truth.
Palpatine: How ironic, being just about the only person who's not in here to be probed. Uhhh…. Just curious…did you get any other information during this probe of yours?
Dooku: As I say it was only a brief surface probe. The only other information I picked up was your strong distaste for the Republic; a distaste that actually seems stronger than mine, that along with your desires to radically change the system.
Palpatine: Well I do have an idea or two kicking around.
Dooku: Ideas I would love to hear about no doubt.
Palpatine finishes off his pitcher of jimi juice and looks around quickly.
Palpatine: I don't know, they're pretty radical ideas.
Dooku: Well, I like to think I'm a pretty radical guy.
Palpatine: That's what I'm picking up so far.
Dooku: I'm a very dissatisfied man right now. And when I'm dissatisfied it's time for a change, the bigger the better usually.
Palpatine: You know this has been a very interesting time for me. And I believe that you might just be the person to make things even more interesting. Perhaps with our combined forces we can really hit this galaxy where it hurts and make it take notice.
Dooku: Do you know how long I've waited for someone to make such an offer?
Palpatine: A while?
Dooku: Yes.
Palpatine: Of course we would have to take this discussion elsewhere to go into further details.
Dooku: Naturally.
Palpatine: Also what we put into motion will likely take time to come into fruition. We're probably looking at a rough estimate of ten years.
Dooku: Ten years isn't all that long a wait for fruition.
Palpatine: That's what I always say. But most want fruition in five years tops.
Dooku: Fools and amateurs all of them.
Palpatine: This has certainly been a most interesting time, most interesting.
Dooku: For me as well, and hopefully about to get even more interesting.
Palpatine: Of that there is no doubt. Now let us first of all deal with plans for getting back to my office. I'm far too wasted on jimi juice to drive.
Dooku: Not a problem. I've had but one drink and need a ride.
Palpatine: It truly seems as though we are too perfect a match. Now let us go. As the new Chancellor I have no desire to be seen spewing in a nightclub.
Dooku: Finally wisdom will be brought back to the galaxy.
Palpatine holds his stomach and wobbles slightly as he stands up.
Palpatine: Better hurry. This way.
