AN: Well, this one is all from Faye's POV. I'd like to reiterate that these are mostly the character's THOUGHTS on what's happening, therefore there's not a lot of dialogue, 'kay? Anyway, enjoy, I hope to get one more after this of Spike, then will be the Ed song, you've all be waiting for. *grin*

As for D-san. I find your method of reviewing rather lacking. Next time, try not to insult the author. It seems you don't have any tact at all and it's rather painful for me to read your reviews even though I know you're trying to help… At least, I think you are.

Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop or "Here When Gone" which is by Jewel.

*
I am a woman haunted by hands
Even though I'm alone
Traces of Pompeii
Across my skin
And an invisible map
Of where you've been
*

He hasn't spoken to me in over two days… I don't know what to do or say around him now. I remember what I said to him that night though… I told him I love him.

Do I? Why did I say that to him? I wasn't even awake when I said it. I thought I had dreamed it, until he started avoiding me like the plague.

I'm such an idiot, I've screwed up the best thing that's happened to me in three years. Great going, Faye, get the man to avoid you after you finally pull him out of his shell enough to admit he likes you.

Story of my life. Nothing but a series of screw ups.

We're on Mars right now, he's disappeared. Out drinking probably… He's got the right idea, I think.

I'll go get dead drunk. That'll solve everything… Not really, but it'll make me feel a hell of a lot better.

I moved toward the door just as Jett pushed through it, carrying something large, bloody, and wet.

It was Spike.

"Get out of the way Faye!" he shouted at me. I moved, staring in shock at the man in his arms. Spike was in almost as bad a shape as he had been when he had fought Vicious that first time.

*
It's dry road to Idaho
A thirsty tongue across the land
And soil so dry
You could swallow an entire man
Took the first road out of town
Hoping that you were just skin deep
*

"There he is, the rumoured mummy," I said, sitting on the table, next to him. He was awake, he had been reaching for an orange. Stupid idiot, I bet he tried to get killed on purpose.

"So, I heard you got beaten up by some weird guy?" I continued, picking up the orange. His mouth was covered by bandages so all he could do was mumble. Well, since he tried to kill himself, I'm going to eat his orange.

"I recall you were sleeping like this once before…"

This is waaay too much like that time with Vicious, a few months ago. I was really worried about the idiot. I'm still worried about him. Jett bandaged him up, and I watched him all night… Not that I'd tell him that.

I began peeling the orange.

"You really haven't shown any improvement…"

No, you haven't. If you weren't on the verge of death, I'd kill you.

I began eating the orange.

"Oh well, it doesn't have anything to do with me."

No, it doesn't, but hell, I wish you wouldn't do this! Spike… I… I don't want to loose you.

"Don't you end up in situations like that because you never behave?"

Like I should talk.

"Well, I have nothing to do with it."

I'm repeating myself… What do I say to him?

"So, since I have nothing to do with it, if you'll excuse me…"

I stood up and walked past him, leaving the orange peel on his head.

"Take care."

…Why do I DO things like that!? I'm stupid, I really am. I'm just trying to screw it up more, aren't I?

*
Well I feel you like
Some sort of phantom limb
Beside me when I sleep
Cause you are here when gone
You are here when gone
You are here when gone
You are here when gone
*

I sat down in the next room and lit a cigarette. I didn't want to deal with my stupidity. Maybe if I smoked enough I'll die and not ever have to look at him again…?

Yeah, right.

"Faye-Faye!" I sighed and stood up, poking my head into the hallway.

"My name is Faye. Just Faye, quit saying it twice like that," I told Ed, irritatedly.

"Faye-Faye, there's a message!" she said cheerfully running up to me with her computer balanced on her head.

"What?" She wasn't listening to a word I said, was she? Oh well, I looked at the bouncing computer. Why can't she just stay still?

"I can't read it!" I growled and held onto the computer, below it, Ed continued dancing.

"Hello boy, I'll invite you to a wonderful party…" I began. Shit, it's that weird guy… He wants Spike. "Wait, this is- Listen, Ed, keep the fact that this mail came a secret from Spike, okay?" I told her, grabbing her face, to make sure she was paying attention.

"Secret? Why? Why secret?" she asked me.

"If we don't that idiot-"

"Will run out and meet him?" A voice finished for me. I gasped and turned my head slightly, Spike was behind me.

"It's a secret, secret mail!" Ed said cheerfully, pointing to the computer on her head and dancing toward Spike. I groaned softly and leaned against the wall, taking a long drag from my cigarette as Spike leaned forward and read the mail.

"Space Land? Pretty considerate for him to hold the party there…" he said.

"Are you going like that? It would be perfect if the party was a masquerade," I asked him sarcastically. He glanced down at his hand and frowned slightly.

"Maybe this one really will be the end of me," he murmured quietly. I stiffened. The end of him? Why is he so obsessed with death? I swear if he gets killed, I'll never forgive him.

"Just kidding," he said. "Would you come rescue me if I said that?" he asked, grinning.

I really hate him sometimes. Of course I'd go rescue your ass. I meant what I said…

I did, didn't I? I really do love him. Fucking-

"Idiot," I finished my thought outloud. Spike shrugged.

"Idiot! Idiot; idiot!" Ed echoed me, laughing.

*
I watch another grey day unfold
Its dusty wings
Sometimes I wish I were more like
Rocks and stones and things
Sometimes I wish my heart
Were not like flowers at all
*

I stared at my mono-flyer blankly. I know he's out there… at Space Land… probably getting himself killed. He shouldn't have left, he was still too weak. Idiot.

"Faye?"

I pulled my com-unit out of my pocket and stared at Jett's face.

"What?"

"Is Ed there? It's important that I talk to her."

"Yeah…" I walked out of the hanger and yelled down the hallway. "Ed! Jett's on the line!"

"OK!" she squealed back. I turned off my com-unit and stared at the flyer for a second before cursing loudly and jumping in.

That idiot, I swear, if the madman doesn't kill him, I will.

*
That way I wouldn't get butterflies
When you called
And the night swallows itself
You can see it in the stars
The moon blinks its tired eyes
*

Ouch. That hurt. Note to self: Crashing is not fun.

I pulled myself out of the mono-flyer slowly, and painfully. Jett's gonna be pissed. Oh well, fuck Jett. It was for a good cause. I looked around and saw Spike standing a little bit away, looking very tired and holding his shoulder. I jumped onto the ground and started walking toward him.

That idiot, I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him.

I reached him and started yelling.

"Spike, you stupid idiot! I swear to God you gave me a heart attack, don't you EVER tease about dying again, or I'll REALLY kill you! Are you even listening to me?!"

"You talk too much," he muttered quietly before fainting.

"Spike!" I cried, as he fell into my arms. "Spike, don't die! Fucking hell, why do you DO this to me!?"

I pulled my com-unit out as I held his head in my lap.

"Jett! Get your ass here, NOW!"

*
I may be a thousand miles to nowhere
Does that make me lost or found?
Oh - what is it that relative to if you're around?
And some birds abandon their young
Cause the instinct is too strong to fly
*

I opened my eyes slowly. Had I fallen asleep? I blinked quickly, as my vision cleared. I moved my stiff neck, trying to work out the pain. I had fallen asleep on the floor, using the table as a pillow for my head. Why was I in here?

I focused upon the object across from me. Sleeping on the couch. Spike.

Oh yeah, that's why I'm in here. I sat up the rest of the way and stretched, then moved toward him. He was still breathing, that was good. I checked his temperature, and brushed his hair out of his face somewhat. He'd been asleep for almost four days now. I stared at his face and wondered what he was dreaming about.

Probably Julia.

I winced. Why do I think things like that?

Cos they're usually true. God, I'm such a pessimist.

I stared at his sleeping face.

Why would a man like him be dreaming about someone like me when he has Julia to dream about?

I sighed and moved to stand up, but felt a hand on my arm. I looked down in surprise at Spike's sleepy face.

"Hi," he said in a raspy voice. I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

"Hi," I replied quietly.

*
Well I feel like abandoning
My guitar and my books and I'm afraid
I don't know why
Cause you are here when gone
You are here when gone
You are here when gone
You are here when gone