Ah, finally I have gotten my ass back to writing this…yeah, this time it's even *more* full of random scariness…so, yeah, don't even ask…anyhow, enjoy!

(later in the hotel…or more like the Smog-View motel…near Jersey *don't question why…* our heroes have unpacked in their 2 rooms, reluctantly I might add. In Crawford and Schu's room there's a funny smell coming from under the mattress, the window is broken and sounds of police sirens flood through, cobwebs hang ominously overhead, roaches occasionally scatter across the floor and on the wall, looking like it's written in blood is 'I'll be back! I'm am death!')

Schu: *brushing his hair in the broken mirror whilst humming* Mmm, I am just so irresistibly sexy…

Crawford: *sitting on the bed* Can you help me with the irresistible urge to bash your head in then?

Schu: *turns around and faces him, mocking shock* Bah-rhad-leeeeee! How could you say that?!

Crawford: How could you get us a room in this *motel*? Of ALL the hotels in the city, you chose Smog-View Motel?

Schu: Well, it's…quaint.

Crawford: Quaint my ass. You're up to something, that's why you brought me here, isn't it?

Schu: Someone's grumpy today…and nooooooooo, I just wanted a little romantic getaway…

Crawford: In the Smog-View Motel with Farfello and Nagi?

Schu: Work with me here, okay? Besides, we're going out tonight.

Crawford: To a random run-down, sleazy redneck bar, right?

Schu: A random run-down, sleazy, *including a Chinese food buffet* bar.

Crawford: *hand to head*

~*~

(later, the quartet walk into the bar called "the Random Run-Down, Sleazy, Including A Chinese Food Buffet, Redneck Bar" to be greeted by the sweet sound of drunks singing karaoke)

Drunk Guy: *laughing, holding a microphone* Heh, heh…I wanna give a shout-out to all my peeps out there and this is dedicated to my girl, Marybell. *cue music* Don't tell my heart, my achy-breaky heart, I just don-*is hit in the head with a bottle and falls over*

Crawford: *sits at the bar, glaring*

Schu: *looks at the bartender, who is eying him* Um, yes?

Bartender: Welllll, you suuuure are a purdy girl!

Schu: We're in Jersey, why are you talking like that?

Bartender: Are you knockin' my accent?

Schu: Yes.

Bartender: Oh, yer a feisty one, ain'tcha?

Schu: *plants the feeling of being kicked between the legs in the guy's brain…or lack thereof*

Bartender: *eyes wide, keels over moaning*

Schu: *smiles* 2 Absoluts…

Bartender: *wheezes* Right…*gives him 2 in an instant*

Schu: *takes them and shoves one in Crawford's face* Bradley, drink up.

Crawford: *crosses arms* No.

Schu: You need to loosen up!

Crawford: Fuck you.

Schu: *pouts, then gets up and walks over to the guy running the karaoke machine*

Farfello: *is pigging out at the buffet* Nagi, you should eat some of this! Its fat content hurts god and therefore hurts toast! *grins*

Nagi: Ugh, this is pointl-mmmmffff! *Farfello shoves an egg roll in his mouth*

Farfello: Eat up! This cost Schu $2.50 each…

Nagi: *hits head on the buffet table repeatedly*

Karaoke Guy: Next up we have Schuldig with a song dedicated to Brad.

Crawford: *looks up* Eh?

(Schu stands in front of the little tv, holding the mike and smiling)

Schu: Evvvvery night in my dreams, I see yooooooou, I feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel yoooooooou…

Crawford: *cringes*

Farfello: AHHHHHHHH! *drops plate* WHAT IS THAT SOUND?!

Nagi: *tries to rip his own ears off*

Schu: ….MY HEART WILL GO ONNNNNNN ANNNNNNNNNDDDDD ONNNNNN…

(windows shatter, people die, blood seeps into the wooden floor)

Crawford: I think I'll take that drink…or both of them. *downs them and loosens his tie* Bartender! Give me another!

(20 minutes later…)

Schu: *on his knees, arms raised to the sky* Yoooooooooou are saaaaaaaaafe in my heart…

Farfello: Someone needs to get him off of there.

Nagi: I agree.

Farfello: *stares at Nagi*

Nagi: *notices this and blinks* What?

Farfello: *stares*

Nagi: Why are you looking at me like that?

Farfello: *stares*

Nagi: I know what you're thinking and the answer is no.

Farfello: But Nagi, I've to stay here and hurt toast…god.

Nagi: I'm not doing it.

Schu: …ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN ANNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN…

Nagi: *sighs* Well, at least it'd be worth not hearing *that* anymore…

Schu: -ONNNNNNNNNN ANNNNNNNNND ONNNNNNNNNNN-

Crawford: *on his 10th drink, slurs* Bartender, keep 'em comin'!

Karaoke Guy: *shoves Schu off the little stage*

Schu: Hey, I wasn't finished!

Karaoke Guy: Oh, yes, you were. Next up is…Naoe Nagi.

Nagi: *groans and walks up, taking the microphone as the music starts* Mama just killed a maaaaan…put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead…

Schu: *walks over to Crawford, looking pissy, but upon seeing the empty bottles littered in front of him, grins* Enjoying yourself, Bradley?

Crawford: Shut your hole, yoooooou…

Farfello: *looks at Nagi* Hey, he's singing my song! *walks up to the stage and grabs another mike* Onnnnn, carry onnnnnn, nothing really matters….

Schu: Brad, I need to ask you a favor…

Crawford: Wassat?

Schu: *whispers something in Crawford's ear and grins*

Crawford: *smiles and chuckles* Oh, yeah, sure…it'll be fuuuuun…BARTENDER!

Nagi: I see a little silhouetto of a man…

Farfello: Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango!

(people have gathered around them by this time…half of them have died from the mixture of Japanese/Irish accents and the other half are too wasted to understand or care)

Drunk Guy: Yeeeeeah, Queen, man!

Farfello: Bismillah! No, we will not let you go!

Nagi: Let him go!

(minutes later the group around them are waving lighters in the air…)

Farfello: Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters…to…*impossibly high note* meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

(much tears and applause)

Drunk Guy: *clapping, wipes away a tear* Man, that was beautiful!

Farfello and Nagi: *bow*

Some Random Guy: Get off the nonexistent stage! *throws a bottle and hits Nagi in the head*

Nagi: *head perks up and he glares at Some Random Guy*

Some Random Guy: Ha ha! Stupid little nancy boy( ------Placebo song reference), what're you gonna do? *half of the ceiling collapses on him* AHHHHH! PAIN!

Crawford: *all slurred* Hey, I wanna sing, tooooo! Listen: If you wanna know if heeeee loves ya so, it's innnn hisssssss kissssss, thasss where it is, oh yea-*is hit in the head with a chunk of plaster* Ow! *stares at the ceiling and shakes his fist* Oh, I'll get you! *picks up the plaster and throws it at the ceiling and it comes falling back down, hitting him in the head* Ah, damn you!

Schu: *grabs his arm whilst dodging the pieces of plaster falling from above* Come on, let's get out of here!

Crawford: Ummmmm…ooooookay, whatever you say, Schuschu! *giggles and hiccups* Can I call you Schuschu? Or Schu-bunny? KAWAIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! *goes all fangirl*

Schu: *sighs* Of course…*motions to Nagi and Farfello to follow*

Farfello: But people are requesting an encore!

Drunk Guy: "WE WILL ROCK YOU!" COME ON, MAN!

Schu: Oh, just move it!

Nagi: *goes over and stands over Some Random Guy, glaring evilly*

Some Random Guy: *weakly reaches his hand up* Please…help me…I have a wife and kids…

Nagi: *kicks him in the head and walks out*

Farfello: *as he walks out, people throws roses and applaud* Yup, they love me…*smiles as someone tosses him a bouquet*

Crawford: *eyes the buffet* CHINESE FOOD!

Schu: No, resist the temptation of the MSG-filled goodness! *he rushes out with Crawford hanging off his shoulders just as the bar collapses…seconds later it explodes for no apparent reason as Schwarz bound away in slowwwww motion…*

Crawford: Whooooooo! That was like a Bruce Willis movie! Let's go to Video Palace and rent Fraggle Rock now!

Farfello: *claps his hands happily and does the happy dance*

Schu: *brushes off his coat and pouts* I didn't need that…*looks at Nagi, grimacing*

Nagi: *scoffs* Why is it that every time a building collapses for no apparent reason, you automatically blame *me*?!

Farfello: *suddenly distracted from his Fraggle Rock manic-ness* Don't look now, but I think that there's someone trying to get our attention…

Schu: Eh? *looks up to see a very scary looking guy in a ski mask and all-black pointing a gun at them*

Nagi: *sighs* This is just pathetic now…Smog View Motel, the Random Run-Down, Sleazy, Including A Chinese Food Buffet, Redneck Bar, and now someone's attempting to rob us…

Guy: Alright, hand over your money and I won't kill you!

Crawford: *swaggers forward and starts taking off his coat* Oh, you think that you can talk to my girrrrrlfriend like that, do ya? Welllll, you got another thing comin' to ya, buddy!

Schu: Um, Brad, it's okay, I can take this guy…

Crawford: Stay back, Schu-bunny, I'll protect you!

Schu: But you're drunk…

Crawford: Ohhhhh, I'm not drunk! I'm just a little tipsy, nothing I can't handle!

Schu: *hand to head* You're going to make an ass out of yourself and embarrass me!

Crawford: *stares at the guy* Okay, Mr. Robber Man, here's the deal…I challenge you… to a break-dance fight!

Guy: Look man, just gimmie the money now and I won't shoot!

Crawford: Now, watch my mad skills…*gets down on the sidewalk and tries to spin on his back, unsuccessfully* Oh, I'm just getting warmed-up!

Farfello: *stands to the side, filing his nails*

Nagi: *makes the guy spontaneously combust*

Crawford: *trying to spin on his head* Top that!

(people walk by and laugh/stare in confusion at this guy in an expensive suit down on the dirty sidewalk, rolling around and mumbling encouragements to himself)

Schu: *walking away* This is the most humiliating night of my life!

Nagi: *looks at the passing people and points at Crawford* I don't know him.

Farfello: *points at Nagi* That's his son! He likes to break dance, too, right Billy-Bob?

Nagi: *glares* I hate you. *walks away*

Farfello: *laughs to himself, then looks at Crawford, who is now lying motionless* I guess you get to be my responsibility…ah, oh well…*slings him over his shoulder and grins* This is actually very nice…*walks after Nagi and Schu, who are fuming*

Crawford: *mumbles* What did Schu mean when he asked me to be on Star Search…?

Farfello: *shakes his head, still grinning and chuckles* Toast will bleed…*blinks* I mean god…ah, screw it…

Bwahahahaha…I remember when I sung 'Celebration', 'Stayin' Alive' and 'I Will Survive' at karaoke with Eiko-chan…it was fun ^_^