AN: 11 more songs to go plus an epilogue! 1 for Ed, 3 for Faye, 2 for Julia, 1 for Vicious, 5 for Spike and the epilogue is a third-person POV. This one is Faye's POV of the fight and what happened afterward. Oh, and as for my theories on Faye and Ed, I don't think Ed hates Faye, I just think she's going through the normal phases of pre-teen jealousy. They're my theories on the series, and I have my reasons for them, which I would be happy to discuss if you email me or IM me. ^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop or "Rain" which is by Tim Jensen and Yoko Kanno.
*
I don't feel a thing
And I stopped remembering
The days are just like moments turned to hours
*
*SMACK*
"Please, get out of my room…" I said to him and then I curled back up on my bed. He stood there for a moment, he seemed surprised that I hit him, and then left angrily. I don't care.
How can he do that to me? He loves Julia, but he screws me.
That asshole.
…I don't want to think about him. I don't really want to think about anything right now. Sally Yung… I think I remember her… but… she… she was so old! She was a grandmother! In a wheelchair! I… I'm never going to find anyone I love or knew, am I? They're all either dead or dying. I still wish I could remember though… I really want to remember.
I need a shower.
I pulled myself out of bed slowly and stumbled toward the bathroom. I feel so depressed, so empty.
*
Mother used to say
If you want, you'll find a way
Bet mother never danced through fire shower
*
The fountain. My bedroom. School. Sally. Father, pacing in his study. Water. Space. Seeing Earth. Floating, cracked glass, screams, explosion…
I remember.
I jumped out of the shower and pulled my robe on.
I remember! I remember where I belong! I remember where my house is, what my parents' names were, what school I went to, how I got hurt…
I ran out of the bathroom, toward my bedroom. I need to see where I belong, I need to touch it, to be there and to know what has happened there.
I slammed into Spike as he was walking out of the toilet.
"Hey, watch out!" he snapped at me. He was holding the book he had been reading earlier and glared at me angrily. I could see my handprint still on his face.
I don't know what to say to him… I… Spike…
"I… I'm sorry," I said to him desperately. His gaze softened and he raised an eyebrow, confused.
"…Sorry?"
"I have to go!" I replied resolutely and left him standing in the hallway.
*
Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain
I walk in the rain, in the rain
Is it right or is it wrong
And is it here that I belong
*
I stuffed all my things into a duffel bag and glanced around, making sure I hadn't forgotten anything. I'm going to where I belong. To my home. I threw my duffel bag over my shoulder and jogged through the Bebop, to the deck, where the Red Tail was waiting for me.
I'm not coming back. This is it. I don't have anything to hold me here. Ed and Ein never really cared for me much anyway, and Jett will be happy that I'm not using up all his hot water and eating all his food.
Spike. He still loves Julia, he doesn't love me. I don't need him. I never really loved him. It was just… lust. That's what it was. We just needed to screw each other and that was it.
Who am I kidding?
I jumped into the Red Tail and started the engine. Next to me, Ed appeared, hanging upside-down.
*
I don't hear a sound
Silent faces in the ground
The quiet screams, but I refuse to listen
*
"Where are you going?" she asked me, grinning. I stared at her for a second.
"…I finally remembered where I belong," I replied after a moment and smiled back. The grin on Ed's face disappeared and was replaced with a look of curiosity and confusion.
"Where you belong?"
"You have someone waiting for you too," I told her, remembering the nun telling us about her father. "Somewhere you belong. You should go look for it. That's best you know…"
She jumped off the Red Tail and waved enthusiastically at me.
"Bye, Ed." I closed the hatch of the Red Tail and prepared for take off. Over the engine I could hear Ed shouting.
"Bye-bye, Faye-faye!"
I smiled again and lifted off the deck of the Bebop. I'm never going to see it again.
*
If there is a hell
I'm sure this is how it smells
Wish this were a dream, but no, it isn't
*
I landed the Red Tail a bit away from where I remember my house being. If I remember correctly, there wouldn't be anywhere for me to land at if I tried to land up there. I locked the mono-flyer up and looked at the hill. I remember this hill. I began to walk up it.
I ran up it as a little girl, on my way home from the park.
I started walking faster.
When I was in junior high school, I would run up it to get home after taking the bus home from school.
I began to jog.
High School… I used to run up it all the time, to get in shape for cheerleading.
I was now running.
I ran up this hill to tell my mother about my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and when I made it on the cheerleading squad. I ran up this hill to tell my father about my grade card, when I passed my drivers exam, and when I was accepted to university.
I ran as hard as I could. I could see the giant house, the great, iron, double gates, the beautiful fountains, the trees, the staircase…
And the rubble.
It was gone.
*
Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain
I walk in the rain, in the rain
Am I right or am I wrong
And is it here that I belong
*
It's gone. I can't believe it's gone. I've been through HELL to remember everything, and now everything is gone.
I sat down and cried for an hour.
I finished crying and wandered the property a bit, remembering where everything had been, where my favourite tree had been, my swing, my playhouse, the roses, the garden, the house…
I picked up a stick and drew the outline of where the house had been.
The sun was just starting to set when I finished. I drew where my room had been, and then where my bed was.
I threw the stick away and laid down on my "bed", staring at the sky as it slowly turned from blue, orange, to red, to purple to black.
I'm finally home.
*
Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain
I walk in the rain, in the rain
Why do I feel so alone
For some reason I think of home
