Hi!
I'm just the person who wrote this extremely weird fanfic.
First of all - congratulations! No, the fanfic has not ended yet (groans from the reader) I know I know, it's long, and the previous two chapters were pretty pointless, but still. Anyhow...
I made a lot of mistakes while I wrote, many which I found while editing, and I remembered how on a Harry Potter fanfic, called Hearts and Hourglasses (which is really good btw, go read it) had this chapter where the author put in all these bloopers that were made throughout the course of writing it.
I completely understand the author of that fanfic.
Anyways...
I started this fanfic with the idea that I would mix all the ideas I'd thought of on fanfiction for Trigun. No, I don't anything from it, so please don't sue me. ^^;; I'd like to say I own Rederine, but I don't really. He was bred up in the Trigun world, so he's not really mine.
The point is, because I'm just weaving in my ideas (which I wrote on a seperate file) on random, this story tends to get out of hand as I write because I don't have a specific goal, or if I do have an idea on what happens next, I don't know how to connect it.
I know I must drag a lot - considering what happened so far in the fanfic is not finished yet enough with so many chapters...
Gomen nasai, minna-san~ ^^;;
Okay, I was saying that this author put in all these bloopers. I think it's a nice way to slip in a quick break from all the intense reading.
So I thought I doing something similar since I just had all these mistakes. I call them NGs - think of it like an off-stage thing that sometimes happens, or a script accident.
I also think you readers should read this bit because it'd make you feel better to know that everyone makes mistakes. So cheer up, Vash!
-starah
Chapter Two
NG #1
'Argh! Dammit. I don't even go up to his shoulder,'
Meryl thought annoyedly.
Then the grand shocks of all shocks came to Meryl now.
I did a double take when I read this as I edited. Did I really write that? Yes I did. Didn't I realise how stupid it sounded? Eerrp.
Chapter Four
NG #2
"What?" He asked, keeping his voice down. People around the bus were starting to awaken, and the bus itself was already moving and well on its way, but other people, like Milly and Meryl, were still asleep.
"You finally got her to loosen up, eh?"
Wolfwood grinned his characteristic grin.
Which would be?
NG #3
"Do you want me to run the plans through you again? Because remember, I want them alive--"
"I know, sir. I think I'll manage."
"Good. At least you're good at something - excellent memory. Contact me when you get to stage two."
Excellent memory, eh? Forget it. (Horrible, horrible pun. I'm sorry, it just came out. :P)
Chapter Five
NG #4
"Wake up wake up wake up wake up!"
Her head lolled about as he jostled her, and she wasn't looking much better than she had a minute before.
Then Vash frowned.
Was that a tear in her eyelash?
No, it was a tear in her nostril. Geez, I can't believe I wrote that it was in her eyelash. It sounds so weird. It doesn't sound right. You get the point.
Chapter Seven
NG #5
This was really starting to bug Vash - after all, it isn't nice to be ignored by anyone.
Er... yes... well, it isn't! >o
Chapter Eight
NG #6
"You just want to see if the big girl says anything about you to her."
Vash muttered.
"That's partially true."
Wolfwood clapped a hand to his mouth as Vash stared at him.
"A-a-are you serious?"
Vash said, trying his best not to laugh.
It just occurred to me that he actually wouldn't mind laughing.
Chapter Thirteen
NG #7
Just then, a young man came to their presence.
He had red hair, streaked with copper, and his build was quite sturdy and burly. But he was tall, and when he came up to them, he was as tall, if not taller, than Milly.
The three looked at him for a moment. He didn't say anything; he just looked at them,
"Yes?"
Vash asked politely.
Okay, there are just so many things wrong with this, I won't even bother telling you what.
NG #8
"Vash the Stampede."
Vash winced. Was this another bounty hunter?
"No."
What?
"I'm not another bounty hunter."
What? Who are you??
"Rederine... Rederine Corman."
...........
NG #9
It took me a looooooooong time to think of a name for the mysterious man, but I did eventually think of one name. He was originally Red Corman, but I changed the name to Rederine. Here is the process of the name:
"Yes. But don't worry, I don't think I killed anyone. It was just to bring you outside."
Vash frowned.
"Who are you?"
"Rederine the Stinger. I'm half plant, half human... a bit like you, Vash the Stampede."
So I thought, isn't the Stinger like some comic-book superhero or supervillain?? Hai...
"Who are you?"
"Rederine the Whipper."
"Who are you?"
"Rederick the Crack."
"Who are you?"
"Red the Rainbow."
It was getting stupid.
NG #10
"I don't want to negotiate,"
He spat.
"I just want you to know, Vash the Stampede, that I hate you. I can take you with me some other time. But for now, I think you need a taste of your own medicine. Ta da!"
And he whipped out Meryl from no where.
Okay, the first bit up till the 'taste of your own medicine' is a real mistake, and I realised it as I typed. I typed up the rest out of inspirational stupidity.
NG #11
"Little girl, wake up."
Then he slapped her, and pressed a gun to her jaw.
"Get up!!"
The three winced and stared in horror.
This is something I actually typed. It took me a couple of seconds to realise how dumb that last sentence was. I mean... uhm.
NG #12
There was a terrible silence, which in reality it lasted only for a few seconds, but in the mind of those watching seemed to last for hours.
Then Milly broke it.
She screamed.
"GYAAAAAHHHHHHHH---!!!!!! SEMPAI!!!!!!!"
You know, I was actually going to leave this here. As in, I really did type it like that. But later on, as I edited the story, I realised just... how STUPID IT SOUNDED, especially in the mind's eye. It sounds like a fangirl scream. -.-;;
NG #13
"Damn it!"
Vash gripped her shoulders, and began to shake her.
"Wake up! WAKE UP!!"
He yelled, and Meryl smiled.
"Goodbye."
And she closed her eyes.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
Vash yelled.
Heh, sorry... I tried my best to keep this bit as uncorny as possible, although I don't know whether I succeeded or not... but I had to play with this scene, it was just so in potential to be sappy. (No, I didn't type the above with mind to incorporate it into the story. I wrote it intentionally as a joke, don't worry.)
Chapter Fourteen
NG #14
Before I died...? Meryl thought absently.
Died?
Meryl bolted upright, the memory of what had just happened on her planet rushing back into her.
It sounds pretty weird, doesn't it? I mean - what had just happened on her planet - it makes to be something that sounds pretty weird.
NG #15
"He doesn't deserve to get hurt like this."
She whispered.
...poor Vash...!
Vash's eyes were glistening with tears.
Ughhh, I was thinking too much on who this character really was, and it just kinda punched me in the face when I realised how yucky it sounded. I mean, the description for the tears here just can't fit here. And saying 'poor Vash' just... sounded real weird.
NG #16
"You're a woman though, aren't you?"
Vash blinked.
She's sharp.
"How'd you know?"
"You... act like one."
Vash smiled through her tears.
A true, writing NG. I mean, huuuuuuuuuuuge mistake. I probably would've never noticed it if I hadn't been editing for like the fifth time. Oh my gosh. This was truly, TRULY by mistake. Aiyah. (No, it wasn't that I mixed 'his' and 'her' together. It was because... well, you can figure.)
Chapter Fifteen
NG #17
Meryl's vision began to go wavery again.
"Yes. I... I did. Vash-san... I think I need to go to a doctor."
With that, Meryl fell unconcious as Vash pulled back from her hurriedly.
"Whoops, I forgot."
He said, a little sheepishly.
Milly went over and bent down infront of Meryl and Vash.
"I'll take her,"
She offered.
Uhm. Okay, first of all, I saw immediately that I rushed this. Plus the miracle of Meryl living wasn't clearly expressed, so I thought that perhaps I should give a little more into this. But also... okay... Meryl had just gotten shot, she fainted, and Vash is sheepish?? Hai...
NG #18
"Come in."
Rederine sauntered into the professor's office.
Sauntered? Hai... Rederine isn't meant to be that relaxed... he's actually really, really tensed up. Not in the sense that little noises scare him - not to that extent, but still, pretty jumpy at things like little remarks that... uhm... 'weren't very nice'.
NG #19
Rederine heard the familiar, quiet hum of high pitched frequency.
It grew louder and louder, until the pitch filled his senses, his head screaming in pain as he found himself being jerked about, his arms flailing as his joints were twisted around, his eyes clouding with strange visions...
What got me here was the 'head screaming in pain' part. I mean... it just doesn't work. Rederine isn't like that. And... uhm... it sounds awkward in the sentence. It makes it sound like his head has it's own mouth... okay... literally, it does, but you know what I mean... uhm... maybe not... next NG!
NG #20
Then Vash slowly sat back in his chair, and held Meryl's hand again. He ran a finger over her forming scar again.
'I... I have to go out soon. I need to find that Rederine the Demaskas, or Temaskals, whatever it was... I need to go find him. He said he'll be back to take more.'
It just sounded too much like Meryl and him have lived together and now he must leave her or something. Honestly, I don't know why it came out like that...
NG #21
Vash spoke silently to Meryl as he held her hand, seeking some sort of comfort.
'I don't like seeing people get hurt...'
Swallowing, he held her hand a bit more tightly.
'I didn't like it when you got hurt. Please don't get hurt anymore.'
I got a terrible writer's block after this. But then I also discovered how weird and unlikely that last sentence was. It just doesn't work, you know what I mean? ^^;; Like, you don't ask people to not get hurt...
NG #22
'...hey. I can think of a couple of things that follow me around that aren't bad at all, though. For example... you.'
He almost laughed at the thought.
'Geez, I'm getting sappy here.'
Yes you are, Vash. Yes you are.
Chapter Sixteen
NG #23
He walked into the restaurant, his orange cloak drawing glances as it clashed terribly with his hair.
Hmm. I don't think this should be in here. The cloak description should come later. Plus... well, it was a stupid sentence, wasn't it?
NG #24
He walked into the restaurant, looked around, and saw the two he expected.
The big girl and the cross guy, he liked to call them.
I just noticed while editing how dumb this sounds. I mean - "he liked to call them" - honestly.
NG #25
"...-ry?"
The big girl.
"Well, yeah, uhm, you know. 'Cause like... I really, really like you. No, I love you."
The cross guy.
So they had a deeper relationship than Rederine thought.
Nonononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!
NG #26
"Yes?"
She asked shyly as she walked up to him.
Rederine smiled as he gestured for her to bend over a little.
"I just wanted to say how pretty you are,"
He murmured. Meanwhile he carefully poured the white powder into the black coffee on the tray as he caused the girl to flare bright red.
"...meet me at the back in five minutes,"
Rederine finished, and let her on her way.
'Human minds are so easy to manipulate,'
He thought with a silent laugh.
(shakes head)
NG #27
"You're joking!!"
The cross guy sounds ecstatic.
"I'm not, Mr. Priest. It's funny how these things turn out, ne?"
The big girl laughs.
Urgh, thought Rederine, I need to get these two apart - quick.
Whoops. Rederine sounds jealous here. And the ecstatic thing sounded a little... funny.
NG #28
She stood still for a few seconds, frozen to the spot.
Walk over. Walk over. Walk over.
She walked over, strangely jerkily, and stood in front of him.
He gestured to a sugar pot nest to his arm.
"Don't need any sugar, ma'am?"
Accept. Accept. Accept.
She nodded.
"Take it, then."
Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick the sugar up.
"Th-th-thank you-u, s-sir."
Okay, let's face it - the repetition makes for a nice hypnosis effect, but results in something that sounds - let's face it again, shall we - STUPID.
NG #29
"I'd like to have a girl."
Milly's happy smile grew as she thought of it.
"But my parents might get mad for having a child without marrying..."
Wolfwood choked on his coffee.
It doesn't happen. It just doesn't happen. Milly is straight-forward, but not in this sense. This is like... a manipulative type of straight-forwardness. Not what I intended. I would choke on my coffee, too.
Chapter Seventeen
NG #30
He ran up the stairs after the cloaked figure, and after several floors, found that the thief was running into a room.
Panting, Wolfwood ran into the room.
"FREEZE!! Let go of my cross and surrender - you have no idea who you're messing with!!"
And the cloaked figure screamed and fainted.
NG #31
He was just about to tug on the buckles on his cross when the man shook his head.
"I don't know what you're going to do with that cross, but I suggest really giving it up. Because... well... you'll be out like a light in about three seconds."
"Out like a light?" I don't know what's gone into me lately. Using weird expressions like these. *sigh*
Chapter Eighteen
NG #32
It looked like a huge pillar of tarnished copper and grey metal, wires running everywhere. To the left, a control panel had been set up.
"Ready for lift off, sir."
said the young boy, running up to the control panel with a laugh of glee.
He slammed his hand down onto the red button.
"No!"
cried out the professor, but it was too late.
The whole house shot up into the sky, like a rocket.
Yes, I was only playing around... it's just that I wrote the control panel thing, and I realised how weird and strange it sounded and looked to the mind's eye...
Okay, now depending on your reaction to this whole thing, this may actually bother continuuing. ^^;; Of course, I don't mind flames too much - but I prefer... whatchamacallit... 'constructive criticism'. ^^;;
