SCENE IV. A street.

Enter Kusanagi and Yuuto

Yuuto: Where on earth is Seishiro? Did he go home last night?

Kusanagi: Not to his house. I spoke with his father.

Yuuto: Maybe Kanoe has driven him crazy, that bitch. [muttered] I dunno, I think he had to be crazy to like her in the first place.

Kusanagi: [nodding agreement]
Did you hear that Hokuto sent a letter to him?

Yuuto: It's a challenge. I'd bet my life.

Kusanagi: Seishiro will answer it.

Yuuto: Of course he will. Any man who can write can answer a letter.

Kusanagi: No, I mean he will accept the challenge and rise to the occasion! [raises his fist in the air, mock-triumphantly]

Yuuto: [rolls his eyes]
Oh, poor Seishiro! He's going to lose! He's already dead!

Seishiro: [backstage, offended] She's not powerful enough to kill me!

Hokuto: [holds up X16] What do you call this?

Seishiro: .....

Kusanagi: What do you think of Hokuto?

Yuuto: [pulls a rose from hammerspace, waxing poetic] O, more than the princess of cats...she is the courageous captain of compliments...what a stupid speech. A master duelist, a very noble lady, and some stuff in Italian. Or Latin. Or something. Anyway, I don't know what it means.

Kusanagi: Methinks you have a little crush on Hokuto.

Yuuto: [gestures helplessly] It's in the script! I can't help it!

Kusanagi: [returning to script] What?

Yuuto: To summarize this: She's cool, but I don't like her. I think. Um.

[Seishiro enters]

Kusanagi: Here comes Seishiro!

Yuuto: This guy sure babbles a lot. Hey, Seishiro! What's up with last night?

Seishiro: Good morning to both of you. [mutter] He's so damn _polite_.
What about last night?

Yuuto: You snuck off!

Seishiro: Oh. Please forgive me; I had something important to do, and I think it was worth being a bit rude.

Yuuto: [looking at script] Hmmm...I think the next bit is punning that I don't understand. [skips ahead] Well, you're more cheerful than most days recently. Isn't this better than crying for love all the time?

Kusanagi: All right, all right, don't get him started.

Yuuto: You want me to stop teasing him?

Kusanagi: Yeah.

Yuuto: Well, I was going to...
Seishiro: Hey, look who's coming!

[Sorata and Daisuke enter]

Sorata: Daisuke!

Daisuke: Just a second!

Sorata: Could you bring me my fan?

Yuuto: [jeeringly] To hide his face, since the fan is better looking.

Arashi: [offstage] I disagree with that...

Sorata: Good morning, gentlemen.

Yuuto: [still mocking] Good afternoon, sir.

Sorata: Is it afternoon?!

Yuuto: No earlier- it's noon right now.

Sorata: Liar. What sort of man are you?

Seishiro: [rolling his eyes] A reject of God.

Yuuto: Hey! That's not what that says!

Seishiro: Close enough.

Sorata: [hiding a smile] Well said! Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I can find a young man named Seishiro?

Seishiro: [mildly put out] I'm older than you, you know. I can tell you where you can find him, but he'll be older when you find him than when you started looking for him. In any event, I'm the youngest person around with that name, unfortunately.

Sorata: Oh, if you are Seishiro, I need to talk with you. [looking pointedly at Yuuto and Kusanagi] Alone.
Kusanagi: [snickering] He's going to ask him out!

Yuuto: [laughing too hard to make a reply]

Seishiro: What is it?

Yuuto: [starts singing something about food]
Banana ga daisuki...ichigo to bruberi...
Seishiro, will you be home for dinner?

Seishiro: Yeah.

Yuuto: Farewell, old man. [sings] Grandfather, grandfather, grandfather...
Am I the only one who thinks this guy is mentally unbalanced?

Kusanagi: No. Now we're supposed to exit. Come on. [They do so.]

Sorata: Who on earth was that?

Seishiro: Oh, don't mind him. He just likes to hear himself talk.

Sorata: Well, if he says anything else bad about me, I'll beat him up. And if I can't, I'll find someone who will. Do you just stand by and watch as he does that sort of thing?

Daisuke: If I thought he was doing harm my weapon would be out, and the law on my side.

[Subaru, his mind sullied by too much time with Seishiro, chokes on his water]

Sorata: I'm really peeved. Sir Seishiro, my...gentleman asked me to find you. But before I give you his message, a warning: if you should lie to him, it would be extremely inappropriate. He's young and if you treat him wrong, it would be a truly bad thing to do to any gentleman, and very weak of you.

Subaru: Tell that to his Tokyo Babylon self…

Seishiro: Sir, tell him that I mean well. I ask you-

Sorata: Of course, of course. He'll be very happy.

Seishiro: What will you say to him?

Sorata: I will tell him that you protested at my speech, which shows that you have gentlemanly intent. [coughmutter] The gentleman doth protest to much, methinks. If his intent towards Subaru is anything but sexual, I will eat something not normally meant for human consumption.

Seishiro: Tell him to find some way to come to shrift this afternoon; and there, at Friar Keichii's cell, he'll be married. Here is some money for your trouble.

Sorata: No, sir, not a penny.

Seishiro: Take it.

Sorata: [does so] This afternoon? He'll be there.

Seishiro: If you could wait behind the abbey wall, within the next hour my men will bring you a ladder. So I can sneak in tonight. Because [cough, leer] The marriage must be consummated. Thank you very much, and goodbye. Tell Subaru I said hi.

Sorata: Bless you! Wait a second.

Seishiro: Yes?

Sorata: Your man can keep a secret?

Seishiro: Oh, yes, even under torture.

Sorata: Well, sir, my master is the sweetest boy- but there is a nobleman in town, Kamui, who's been after him. But he's not interested. I irritate him sometimes by telling him he's the proper man. But he gets pale when he thinks about Kamui... he has the sweetest dream about you and rosemary.

Seishiro: Couldn't you have cut that down?

Sorata: Probably.

Seishiro: Right. Well, thank you very much. Tell Subaru I'm thinking of him.

Sorata: Of course, a thousand times.

[Seishiro exits]

Sorata: Daisuke!

Daisuke: Just a minute!

Sorata: Take my fan and go back to the house.

[Exit all]