SCENE V. Sumeragi's orchard.

[Enter Subaru]

Subaru: I sent Sorata off and nine and he promised to be back in half an hour. Maybe he couldn't find him! No, that can't be it.
...Do I have to make this speech?
Well...um...news of love should come as thoughts- much faster even than the sun's rays that chase away shadows. It's been three long hours that the sun's traveled today and Sora isn't back. I wish he was younger-

Sora: You're older than me!

Subaru: [unperturbed] And I'm not a girl.

-I wish he was younger so he could get back faster with news. Oh! Here he comes! [starts biting nails off quickly, like in a Warner Bros. cartoon]

[Sorata and Daisuke enter]
Sora-chan! What's the news? Did you find him? Send your man away.

Sorata: Daisuke, stay at the gate.

Daisuke: [exits, muttering] Daisuke go here, Daisuke go there, Daisuke, please hold my fan. Daisuke please give me my fan...

Subaru: Sora-chan! Tell me now- Oh, Lord, why do you look so sad? If it's good news you make it bad by telling while looking so unhappy.

Sorata: I'm tired, let me alone awhile. Oooh, I ache. I've had such a long walk...!

Subaru: You are a tease, Sora! And I'd give my bones for your news any day. Please, tell me!

Sorata: [teasing some more] Jeez, what's your hurry? Can't you wait around awhile? Can't you tell I'm out of breath?

Subaru: [much put out] You can't be out of breath if you're able to tell me you're out of breath. What a horrid excuse, you evil tease. [Sora, at this point, is indeed grinning evilly] Is it good or bad news? Just tell me that much.

Sorata: All right, well you've given me a simple choice. You don't know how to choose a man, really. He's not a perfect gentleman. But I suppose he would never hurt a fly.

Seishiro: But I won't object to killing humans…

Subaru: [frustrated] I knew that already! What did he say about getting married? What about that?

Sorata: [extremely evil expression] Ohhhh, I have such a bad headache! And my back! Ouch! You're so horrid for making me walk around to get sick and die while trying to deliver a message!

Subaru: [slight sarcasm] Oh, I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. What did my love say? Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me!

Sorata: Your love says- like an honest, handsome, courteous, kind, and I think virtuous- where is your mother?

Subaru: [his voice is reaching octaves not normally heard from a post-puberty guy] Where is my mother? Where is my mother? She's here in the house, where would she be? What a strange answer! Your love says, like an honest gentleman, "Where is your mother?"

Sorata: Good grief! If you're so eager to know, deliver your own messages from now on.

Subaru: [half-hysteric and half-pleading] Come on, what did Seishiro say?

Sorata: Will you be able to get to church today?

Subaru: ...Yes...

Sorata: Then go to Friar Keichii's cell. There will be a man to make you his. Go on, go to the church. I have to go get a ladder for your love to climb in when it gets dark. I have to do all the work for you to be happy. [snicker] But you get to do the work tonight.

Arashi: Sora, you pervert!

Sora: [protesting] It's in the script!

Subaru: Thank you, Sorata! Goodbye!

[exit all]