Something Different
Chapter 9
"What? What are you doing here? Why? Wha what…."
"We need to talk." He brushed past me into the room, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My heart was racing and a rush of adrenaline ran through my chest. I shut the door and followed him into the room.
"What are you doing here?" I asked again sitting down on the sofa. Standing by the window with his back to me, I was struck by the oddness in his stature. Normally he gives off a strong, 'in-control' stance. Today, now, he was smaller, more vulnerable. "Ranger, what's wrong?" This time my voice was softer, higher. I was beginning to worry about his message. What could have brought him all the way out here?
As if reading my mind, he spoke "I tried your hotel in California first. They told me you had checked out two days ago. Didn't take me long to figure out who was with you and what was going on. I had to talk to you before it was too late."
"Too late? Too late for what?" His back was still facing me. I couldn't read his face. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, what was going on?
"My feelings for you are very strong. I have to know, are you marrying Joe because you love him or because he might be the father of your baby?" he said, turning to face me.
Big light bulb went off at the word might. "What do you mean 'might'? You told me you were clipped and snipped in the Army. Are you changing your story now?"
"No. I was. But after talking to you, and Joe, and the possibility of loosing you, I had to know for sure. So, I went to my doctor and checked. I'm sorry Stephanie," he then turned to look at me. "But there is a 75% chance that I can father a child. Your child."
With that he handed me a piece of paper that must have been folded and refolded a whole bunch of times. I was floored. Literally. My head started to spin, an instant wave of heat then cold rushed through my body. Little black dots started to dance in front of my eyes. Nausea was forcing its way up from my toes.
"I need air, NOW!" I raced to the window but only made it as far as the wastebasket before loosing everything left in my stomach.
Ranger helped me back to my chair and handed me a cold washcloth for my face. He also handed me a couple of soda crackers.
"What are these for?" I asked, looking at the crackers in my hand. I turned them over looking for something other than salt. Sugar. Frosting.
"They'll help settle your stomach. By the looks of it" his eyes drifting to the wastebasket then back to me "and the color of your skin, you have been eating a lot of junk food and not keeping much down. You are headed for dehydration if you don't start taking care of yourself and eating better."
"and, your point is?"
"Hospitalization, IV's, possible miscarriage."
The crackers tasted like sawdust, but quickly took away the nausea and hunger pains. Well, some of the growing hunger pains.
"Points well taken and understood." We sat there for a few minutes in silence soaking in the new information.
"Why did you come here? Did you just feel the need to mess with my mind? Why, if you had these strong feelings, didn't you come forward sooner or tell me it didn't matter who the father way? Why hours before I'm to be married did you decide to fuck with me?"
"Because I didn't know where you were, and I didn't think it would matter. But when I found out about my sperm count, and about Joe being 'Out of Town' I tracked you down. I had to know if you really loved him or if this was just because you were pregnant. I married my wife for the same reason. I thought we loved each other. But it was just a love we chose to live with for a few years, not one we both lived for. I didn't want you to make the same mistake. and, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you go without telling you how much I care about you. Whether or not this child is mine or Morelli's. What would Joe do if you told him?"
"Tell me what?".
Ranger and I looked up to see Joe standing over us. Oh great, Joe is here. We hadn't heard him come in. The crackers were working because I WANTED to leave the room, hoping to heave again.
"Ah, Joe, what are you doing here, I thought you and John had already left?"
"I thought I had forgotten something, good thing I came back"
"Yeah, Joe, um, Ranger has some news for us that may change how you feel about us, or me in particular."
"'Oh, really? and what might that be? Uh oh, his arms were crossed and he had a strained look on his face. I sat back in the couch with my head laying back looking up at the ceiling. Why me? Why me? and things were going so good.
I must have been mumbling to myself, because when I sat up straight they were both looking at me "what?"
"Well, are you going to tell him or do I need to?" Ranger asked.
"No, I'll tell him. Why don't you go on down the hall. I'll, um, be down in a few minutes. Okay?"
Ranger got up, looked at me and then at Joe, nodded, and went out the door. As soon as it shut, Joe let out a deep breath. "What in the hell is he doing here? Steph are you going to tell me? Geeze what is that horrid smell?!"
"Oh, yeah, I threw up again in the waste basket when Ranger was here. I forgot to clean it up. I have to get a supply of these soda crackers because they really settled my stomach. I'll go clean this up and be right back."
Joe grabbed my wrist. "No. Tell me what he said. That can wait. Tell me why he is here. Now."
"Maybe you need to sit down." I paused "Do you remember when Ranger came over and told you that he couldn't be the father? Well, I guess he had more feelings for me than he wanted to admit and when he found out you were with me, he was afraid that you were only marrying me because of the baby."
"So, what business is it of his? As far as I'm concerned this is between you and me."
"What if this baby isn't yours?" Silence, not good. "That's why he's here. His clip and snip wasn't complete and there's a 75% chance he could father a child. This child. Does that change anything about the way your feel? Feel towards me and this child right now or in the future? Because if there is any doubt, any doubt at all about how you will feel, then we need to stop right now. I don't want you to marry me because you really feel like you have to, especially if you have any anger, doubt or fears." More silence. Great. "I'm going to go for a walk right now, probably to the grocery store for soda crackers and a beer." Yeah, a big cold strong beer. "So, you just use this time to think this through."
I got up and walked out of the room, grabbing my bag on the way. What was going on? Why did Ranger have to show up and why did he have to ruin everything when it was all so simple, cut and dry, clean. Now it was all in turmoil. Okay, so we just have another player in the picture, again. But it's still me and the baby. I don't have to get married. If Joe can't or will not be able to handle this, then fine. That's his choice. But what abut my choice. Who do I really want to grow old with, brush my teeth with, argue with over who gets up in the middle of the night, or who drives carpool? I know I could live with either man. But which one could I live without?
I walked down the hall looking for Ranger, actually I was hoping to avoid him. What I really needed was Mary Lou.
Pulling out my phone, I dialed her number.
"Hello"
"Mary Lou?"
"Steph is that you? You sound so far way"
"Yeah it me, I'm in Carson City. How are you?"
"Carson City? What are you doing there? and where have you been, I haven't heard from you in two weeks"
"I'm in Carson City, because Joe asked mw to marry him"
"OHMYGOD, YOUR MARRYING JOE MORELLI" she screeched
"Well, I was…"
"What do you mean where?"
"Ranger just showed up"
"What" she screeched again. I was going to have to hold the phone away from my ears.
"Ranger showed up" I repeated
"What does he want?"
"To tell me there is still 75% chance of him having children, a chance he's the father of my child."
"But, I thought he had the snip?"
"He did, but he went to the doctors, just after he found out I was pregnant, and apparently it wasn't a complete success"
"I thought you used condoms?"
"We did, but so did Joe and I, you know that story. All I know is, this child was not conceived via immaculate conception."
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know"
"I know I have asked you this before, but who do you think is the father?"
"I always said it was Joe's, even before I knew about Ranger's vasectomy. I still believe this child is Joe's"
"Do you love Ranger?"
"Do I love Ranger?" I thought for a minute "I don't know, I have feelings for him, but I don't think I love him anymore than a friend."
"and Joe?"
"I think, no I know, I love Joe, I have since I was six" I felt tears welling up in my eyes "and now… What am I going to do?"
"Do you want me to come?"
"I don't know, I think I need to have you here."
"I'll see what I can do, I'll call you later, ok Steph?"
"Yeah, thanks Mary Lou"
"Hey Steph?"
"Yeah?"
"Take care ok?"
"Thanks"
"Bye"
Going down the stairs, I spotted Ranger's SUV, it was the same one I had seen earlier.
Turning around, I went to the reception and asked the attendant if there was a back door I could go out, the attendant explained that the door lead to an ally beside the hotel, and pointed me in the direction of the door.
I should have realized that Ranger would have known about the door, and he would expect me to use it, after I had seen his SUV, because as soon as I heard the door click shut behind me, he tapped me on the shoulder.
"Hey babe?"
I must have jumped a mile. "Jesus, I hate when people sneak up on me, what do you want?"
"To see how you are"
"How I am?" I asked. "You show up on my wedding day, and drop a bomb shell, and you what to know how I'm feeling? Gee let me see, it all started with a black dress and a phone call. I have great night with Joe, he gets called away on a job, I'm ok with this, and then you call, this is where things get complicated. Joe finds out that I've gone to Atlantic City with you, except he doesn't know it's only a job, anyway, he sleeps with Terri fucking Gilman. In the mean time Mary Lou has rung me and tells me she saw Joe kissing Terri. I'm of course pissed, so I sleep with you while we're in Atlantic City." I pause to catch my breath, glancing at Ranger, his face was unreadable. Boy you have no idea how cathartic this is. "Fast forward two and a half months" I continued "I'm pregnant and the father could be either you or Joe, except I know who the father is. But I need to tell you both what's going on, but neither of you are even in Trenton, your god knows where. Lula and Connie guess that I'm pregnant, and later that night I find Joe in my apartment, we talk and decide to forgive each other and perhaps get back together, who knows, because next thing I know your in my kitchen. I should have told you both then, but you and Joe got into a fight, and I threaten to shot your nuts off. The next morning the whole of Trenton knows, so I do the right thing and go over to Joe's to tell him that HE'S the father of my child, but he doesn't quite believe me. Later that day, I find out you've had a vasectomy, and then I run away from Joe when he's at my parents house. The next day I win a trip to LA, and take it as an omen, that I'm supposed to go and let Joe figure things out for himself. I'm supposed to meet Mary Lou a few days after I arrive, but what I don't know is you've gone to see Joe and told him you've had the clip and snip, and then you get Mary Lou to give him her ticket. To cut the rest of this long story short, he proposed to me, I said yes, and now we're here and the rest is bloody history. So that's how I fucking am." and with that I burst into tears. God damn hormones.
Ranger pulled me into his arms. Standing like that for a minute, he lifted my head with his fingers and bought his lips down on mine, I knew it was wrong and I tried to resist him, pushing away from him, my hands flat on his chest. He felt firm and muscular.
Oh boy this was sooooo wrong, I'm engaged to Joe.
Hearing a noise, I broke way, and looked around, Joe staring at us from the street.
"Joe…" I started to say
Chapter 9
"What? What are you doing here? Why? Wha what…."
"We need to talk." He brushed past me into the room, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My heart was racing and a rush of adrenaline ran through my chest. I shut the door and followed him into the room.
"What are you doing here?" I asked again sitting down on the sofa. Standing by the window with his back to me, I was struck by the oddness in his stature. Normally he gives off a strong, 'in-control' stance. Today, now, he was smaller, more vulnerable. "Ranger, what's wrong?" This time my voice was softer, higher. I was beginning to worry about his message. What could have brought him all the way out here?
As if reading my mind, he spoke "I tried your hotel in California first. They told me you had checked out two days ago. Didn't take me long to figure out who was with you and what was going on. I had to talk to you before it was too late."
"Too late? Too late for what?" His back was still facing me. I couldn't read his face. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, what was going on?
"My feelings for you are very strong. I have to know, are you marrying Joe because you love him or because he might be the father of your baby?" he said, turning to face me.
Big light bulb went off at the word might. "What do you mean 'might'? You told me you were clipped and snipped in the Army. Are you changing your story now?"
"No. I was. But after talking to you, and Joe, and the possibility of loosing you, I had to know for sure. So, I went to my doctor and checked. I'm sorry Stephanie," he then turned to look at me. "But there is a 75% chance that I can father a child. Your child."
With that he handed me a piece of paper that must have been folded and refolded a whole bunch of times. I was floored. Literally. My head started to spin, an instant wave of heat then cold rushed through my body. Little black dots started to dance in front of my eyes. Nausea was forcing its way up from my toes.
"I need air, NOW!" I raced to the window but only made it as far as the wastebasket before loosing everything left in my stomach.
Ranger helped me back to my chair and handed me a cold washcloth for my face. He also handed me a couple of soda crackers.
"What are these for?" I asked, looking at the crackers in my hand. I turned them over looking for something other than salt. Sugar. Frosting.
"They'll help settle your stomach. By the looks of it" his eyes drifting to the wastebasket then back to me "and the color of your skin, you have been eating a lot of junk food and not keeping much down. You are headed for dehydration if you don't start taking care of yourself and eating better."
"and, your point is?"
"Hospitalization, IV's, possible miscarriage."
The crackers tasted like sawdust, but quickly took away the nausea and hunger pains. Well, some of the growing hunger pains.
"Points well taken and understood." We sat there for a few minutes in silence soaking in the new information.
"Why did you come here? Did you just feel the need to mess with my mind? Why, if you had these strong feelings, didn't you come forward sooner or tell me it didn't matter who the father way? Why hours before I'm to be married did you decide to fuck with me?"
"Because I didn't know where you were, and I didn't think it would matter. But when I found out about my sperm count, and about Joe being 'Out of Town' I tracked you down. I had to know if you really loved him or if this was just because you were pregnant. I married my wife for the same reason. I thought we loved each other. But it was just a love we chose to live with for a few years, not one we both lived for. I didn't want you to make the same mistake. and, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you go without telling you how much I care about you. Whether or not this child is mine or Morelli's. What would Joe do if you told him?"
"Tell me what?".
Ranger and I looked up to see Joe standing over us. Oh great, Joe is here. We hadn't heard him come in. The crackers were working because I WANTED to leave the room, hoping to heave again.
"Ah, Joe, what are you doing here, I thought you and John had already left?"
"I thought I had forgotten something, good thing I came back"
"Yeah, Joe, um, Ranger has some news for us that may change how you feel about us, or me in particular."
"'Oh, really? and what might that be? Uh oh, his arms were crossed and he had a strained look on his face. I sat back in the couch with my head laying back looking up at the ceiling. Why me? Why me? and things were going so good.
I must have been mumbling to myself, because when I sat up straight they were both looking at me "what?"
"Well, are you going to tell him or do I need to?" Ranger asked.
"No, I'll tell him. Why don't you go on down the hall. I'll, um, be down in a few minutes. Okay?"
Ranger got up, looked at me and then at Joe, nodded, and went out the door. As soon as it shut, Joe let out a deep breath. "What in the hell is he doing here? Steph are you going to tell me? Geeze what is that horrid smell?!"
"Oh, yeah, I threw up again in the waste basket when Ranger was here. I forgot to clean it up. I have to get a supply of these soda crackers because they really settled my stomach. I'll go clean this up and be right back."
Joe grabbed my wrist. "No. Tell me what he said. That can wait. Tell me why he is here. Now."
"Maybe you need to sit down." I paused "Do you remember when Ranger came over and told you that he couldn't be the father? Well, I guess he had more feelings for me than he wanted to admit and when he found out you were with me, he was afraid that you were only marrying me because of the baby."
"So, what business is it of his? As far as I'm concerned this is between you and me."
"What if this baby isn't yours?" Silence, not good. "That's why he's here. His clip and snip wasn't complete and there's a 75% chance he could father a child. This child. Does that change anything about the way your feel? Feel towards me and this child right now or in the future? Because if there is any doubt, any doubt at all about how you will feel, then we need to stop right now. I don't want you to marry me because you really feel like you have to, especially if you have any anger, doubt or fears." More silence. Great. "I'm going to go for a walk right now, probably to the grocery store for soda crackers and a beer." Yeah, a big cold strong beer. "So, you just use this time to think this through."
I got up and walked out of the room, grabbing my bag on the way. What was going on? Why did Ranger have to show up and why did he have to ruin everything when it was all so simple, cut and dry, clean. Now it was all in turmoil. Okay, so we just have another player in the picture, again. But it's still me and the baby. I don't have to get married. If Joe can't or will not be able to handle this, then fine. That's his choice. But what abut my choice. Who do I really want to grow old with, brush my teeth with, argue with over who gets up in the middle of the night, or who drives carpool? I know I could live with either man. But which one could I live without?
I walked down the hall looking for Ranger, actually I was hoping to avoid him. What I really needed was Mary Lou.
Pulling out my phone, I dialed her number.
"Hello"
"Mary Lou?"
"Steph is that you? You sound so far way"
"Yeah it me, I'm in Carson City. How are you?"
"Carson City? What are you doing there? and where have you been, I haven't heard from you in two weeks"
"I'm in Carson City, because Joe asked mw to marry him"
"OHMYGOD, YOUR MARRYING JOE MORELLI" she screeched
"Well, I was…"
"What do you mean where?"
"Ranger just showed up"
"What" she screeched again. I was going to have to hold the phone away from my ears.
"Ranger showed up" I repeated
"What does he want?"
"To tell me there is still 75% chance of him having children, a chance he's the father of my child."
"But, I thought he had the snip?"
"He did, but he went to the doctors, just after he found out I was pregnant, and apparently it wasn't a complete success"
"I thought you used condoms?"
"We did, but so did Joe and I, you know that story. All I know is, this child was not conceived via immaculate conception."
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know"
"I know I have asked you this before, but who do you think is the father?"
"I always said it was Joe's, even before I knew about Ranger's vasectomy. I still believe this child is Joe's"
"Do you love Ranger?"
"Do I love Ranger?" I thought for a minute "I don't know, I have feelings for him, but I don't think I love him anymore than a friend."
"and Joe?"
"I think, no I know, I love Joe, I have since I was six" I felt tears welling up in my eyes "and now… What am I going to do?"
"Do you want me to come?"
"I don't know, I think I need to have you here."
"I'll see what I can do, I'll call you later, ok Steph?"
"Yeah, thanks Mary Lou"
"Hey Steph?"
"Yeah?"
"Take care ok?"
"Thanks"
"Bye"
Going down the stairs, I spotted Ranger's SUV, it was the same one I had seen earlier.
Turning around, I went to the reception and asked the attendant if there was a back door I could go out, the attendant explained that the door lead to an ally beside the hotel, and pointed me in the direction of the door.
I should have realized that Ranger would have known about the door, and he would expect me to use it, after I had seen his SUV, because as soon as I heard the door click shut behind me, he tapped me on the shoulder.
"Hey babe?"
I must have jumped a mile. "Jesus, I hate when people sneak up on me, what do you want?"
"To see how you are"
"How I am?" I asked. "You show up on my wedding day, and drop a bomb shell, and you what to know how I'm feeling? Gee let me see, it all started with a black dress and a phone call. I have great night with Joe, he gets called away on a job, I'm ok with this, and then you call, this is where things get complicated. Joe finds out that I've gone to Atlantic City with you, except he doesn't know it's only a job, anyway, he sleeps with Terri fucking Gilman. In the mean time Mary Lou has rung me and tells me she saw Joe kissing Terri. I'm of course pissed, so I sleep with you while we're in Atlantic City." I pause to catch my breath, glancing at Ranger, his face was unreadable. Boy you have no idea how cathartic this is. "Fast forward two and a half months" I continued "I'm pregnant and the father could be either you or Joe, except I know who the father is. But I need to tell you both what's going on, but neither of you are even in Trenton, your god knows where. Lula and Connie guess that I'm pregnant, and later that night I find Joe in my apartment, we talk and decide to forgive each other and perhaps get back together, who knows, because next thing I know your in my kitchen. I should have told you both then, but you and Joe got into a fight, and I threaten to shot your nuts off. The next morning the whole of Trenton knows, so I do the right thing and go over to Joe's to tell him that HE'S the father of my child, but he doesn't quite believe me. Later that day, I find out you've had a vasectomy, and then I run away from Joe when he's at my parents house. The next day I win a trip to LA, and take it as an omen, that I'm supposed to go and let Joe figure things out for himself. I'm supposed to meet Mary Lou a few days after I arrive, but what I don't know is you've gone to see Joe and told him you've had the clip and snip, and then you get Mary Lou to give him her ticket. To cut the rest of this long story short, he proposed to me, I said yes, and now we're here and the rest is bloody history. So that's how I fucking am." and with that I burst into tears. God damn hormones.
Ranger pulled me into his arms. Standing like that for a minute, he lifted my head with his fingers and bought his lips down on mine, I knew it was wrong and I tried to resist him, pushing away from him, my hands flat on his chest. He felt firm and muscular.
Oh boy this was sooooo wrong, I'm engaged to Joe.
Hearing a noise, I broke way, and looked around, Joe staring at us from the street.
"Joe…" I started to say
