I've now been living on the Vione for about fifty-two moons. Most of that time has been spent as a Dragon Slayer. I'm exhausted from the battle, but my mind is flooded with memories.
This feeling... Lately it's only been a whisper in my mind, forced back by the duties of training.
But you know what night does with things like that.
Now I am forced by the night into poring over everything that made me like Dilandau in the first place. Part of me is still trying to figure out why it happened.
It's amazing. Even after what happened today... You'd think that kind of behavior would make you want to have as little to do with that person as possible... And yet...
My head and my heart are in an argument.
Finally, after along time thinking about it, which would have probably been better spent sleeping, I have come to a conclusion as to the main reason I fell for him in the first place...
He's just so... Different.
Everything he says and everything he does is unique than any person I've ever met. The way he talks- how his voice rises and falls as he speaks; the seemingly uncanny knack he has for letting you know the way he feels about something just by putting emphasis on certain words. The way he fights- smoothly and surely, with a sort of inner rage even when battling one of his own. The way he looks... Silvery white hair and striking red eyes that stand out against his pale skin...
I close my eyes and try something I've attempted before... Imagining his face expressing the emotion of love. It isn't easy. Not that it would be impossible for a talented face such as his. But love is such a complex emotion that enclosing it in a single expression is unimaginable.
Or maybe... My eyes slowly open at this thought... Maybe it's possible that he is not capable of love...?
My heart chases the possibility from my mind. No, it's impossible. He's so young, well, as young as any of us in the Dragon Slayers. Someone with so much life ahead of them can't be so emotionally dead...
He has to be capable... It's only the barrier of military control that's keeping me from getting to his heart. But he takes down that barrier for no one.
Of course, he might if he-
Great. Right back where I started.
I drift off into a heavy sleep. I do not dream that night.
*
Early afternoon.
The Vione has taken off into the skies again after a quick stop at an Asturian base. I am standing at one of the large windows, which brings back memories of speaking to my father when he came. The landscape floats softly beneath the Fortress. It's a nice day.
I am alone. Gatti, Migel, Corran, and Xori are in the sword combat training room. Malenla, Julie, Viole, Chesta and Dalet are in the barracks, I think. Everyone else is just sort of wandering around.
"Cherandle!" Someone is running towards me. It's Alix. He reaches me and stops, "Lord Dilandau says to report to his throne room."
I turn, "I'll help you find the others-"
"No. Well..." his words stop me in my tracks, "...He said for only you to go."
A cold fear floods through me. Am I in trouble? What have I done?
I start off in the opposite direction, "Thank you, Alix."
*
Dilandau's throne room is dark when I arrive. This only heightens my fear. I'm still wondering what I did wrong, and being surrounded by darkness doesn't exactly help.
"...Lord Dilandau?" My query is answered with the sound of the door sliding shut, and then being locked. I jump at the noise, turn, and stand at attention, "You wished to see me, sir?"
The light in the room is very dim, but I can see his silhouette standing by the door. Everything is very still.
"I'm very disappointed in you, Cherandle Zarain." Dilandau's voice says coldly.
"...What have I done to offend you, my lord?" If I'm going to get struck, I may as well know the reason.
He doesn't answer me. I can hear his footsteps coming toward me, "It's almost intolerable," he says, "Having you as one of my Dragon Slayers."
"...Sir?" I begin, "What have..." I stop when he stops, standing directly in front of me. The dim light dances across his pale face. It's both beautiful and terrifying. My hands are clasped tightly behind my back.
Dilandau's hand snaps up and grabs my jaw. I flinch, expecting more violence. But his hand stays in place.
The look on his face is fierce, but something different is reflecting in his eyes. Slowly, it seems to spread over the rest of his face.
And even more slowly- as though time itself is trying to stop- his face moves towards mine. Our lips touch, barely brushing each other at first. Then it happens a second time- a smooth, sweet kiss. It feels as if my heart is swelling, and I have to take a deep breath just to fit it in my chest.
Still, even as this happens, even as everything I've dreamed for the last two months explodes into reality, I can only think of one word: Why?
His face pulls away from mine, and I open my eyes. There is a faint taste on my lips, left over from the kiss. I lick my lips, trying to place it. Tastes like something my mother and father used to... Wine?
Is he drunk?, I wonder. The cold fear returns, stronger than before. What's he going to do to me? Will I be able to stop him?
Will I want to? , I then think. I feel a blush coming on. Good thing it's so dark.
Dilandau begins to circle me, "You intrigue me, Cherandle." He stops behind me, and two gloved hands rest themselves at the bottom of my neck. I brace myself in case he starts to strangle me- I'm ready for anything at this point in time- But he doesn't. He just sort of rests his head against mine and keeps whispering, "You always have... Didn't you know that?" His left hand migrates upwards and strokes the side of my face gently. The touch makes my kneecaps melt.
The hand on my face guides it around so I'm facing sideways. His whisper grows softer, a quiet but fierce blade cutting through the silence:
"...Just as long as you speak of this to no one..." He moves again- his nose brushes my cheek- and our lips meet again. By the end of that kiss, I'm lost.
"Lord, I'll never tell a soul," I breathe, and kiss him back, shocked by my own boldness. Deep down I can hardly believe what I'm doing, and yet it's too late to stop. We're wrapped around each other in a way I'd only dreamed of until now. I can't believe this is happening.
A loud knocking noise breaks our bliss. We pull apart, startled by the noise. Dilandau's eyes seem to have sobered up.
"Get behind the throne," he says after a pause.
"Yes, Lord Dilandau," I say breathily, and obey.
What the hell was that?
Once I'm behind Dilandau's throne, I hear the door open.
"Just what were you doing in here that requires a locked door?" That's Lord Folken's voice. I flinch, and prey I'm not discovered.
"Well, that's certainly none of your business, is it, Folken?" Dilandau sounds quite put off. I have to smile. "What do you want, anyway?"
"I am to receive a message from Emperor Dornkirk in the communications room. I think you should be there as well."
"Very well," Dilandau sighs, "You go on, Strategoes. I'll be right there."
Folken's footsteps fade away. Suddenly, I look up and see Dilandau standing by me.
"Go," he says, "And if anyone asks... You were being commended for killing that Fanelian general," he adds flippantly. "Understood?"
"Yes, Lord Dilandau."
*
I'm hurrying to get out of the Asturian underground tunnels. The Dragon has been discovered- it's trying to escape from behind the castle.
After receiving the message from Dornkirk, Dilandau ordered us all to prepare for battle. We were to attack the base we had visited earlier that day, thus capturing Escaflowne, which was supposedly located there.
I feel as if I'm in a trance- or as if I've just woke up from a deep sleep. Since what happened in Dilandau's throne room, everything seems surreal.
I emerge from the underground tunnels, up into the flaming wreckage of the base. I look around for shimmering air, but the flames are already making that happen. I can't tell where anyone else is.
"I'm out," I say.
"Me too," comes another voice. Kestrel's. "Don't worry, Cherandle, I've got your back."
We start heading for the cliff, where the Dragon is presumably escaping from. We arrive in time to see six uncloaked Alseideses take off into the sky. Dilandau's is among them.
I de-activate my stealth cloak and push down the the foot stirrups. Activate flight mode. Behind me, Kestrel does the same.
It takes us quite a bit to catch up with the others who were ahead of us. Dilandau is battling an Asturian guymelef- I think it's the commander's. Eventually, Dilandau takes off, giving Gatti the command to continue fighting- what looks like a mechanical dragon has flown from the Asturain leviship.
Escaflowne.
We fly off in pursuit. I take a quick backward glance at Gattim who is now fighting the Asturian commander.
The chase goes on for a while, but eventually we land. Escaflowne has morphed back into its guymelef form.
Activate stealth cloak.
The Dragon is now turning around, trying to locate us. Eventually Dilandau's Alseides appears in front of it. Dilandau hits the Escaflowne with the arms of his guymelef a few times. Escaflowne collapses.
*
I don't think I realized how late at night it was.
We've brought the Dragon up into the Vione. Dilandau has sent out soldiers in search and destroy teams in order to find the leviship. All us Dragon Slayers have adjourned to the barracks, but are taking turns staying up in case something happens. We're staying up in bunk groups. That was we can talk quietly and keep each other awake.
I'm lying on my bed. I close my eyes, and I can still feel his arms around me. You intrigue me, Cherandle... You always have...
"You awake, Cherandle?" Gatti asks.
"Uh-? Oh. Yeah, sorry." My eyes open again, "You think they'll actually be able to find us here?"
"Hm." Says Kestrel, "It's more possible that the prisoner might try to escape, I think."
"You think he's awake, yet?" Gatti asks.
"Hmm." I shrug.
*
I open my eyes.
I'm lying on my back... The place I lie in is in ruins. It's burning to the ground. The flames lick my skin, but I feel nothing. I lie there for a while until I turn my head and see a red leather boot step in front of my face. Dilandau is standing at my side. But he's not looking at me- he's looking straight ahead.
I only have one question for him.
"Why did you do it?"
He ignores the question, but looks down at me. The flames are reflected in his eyes, making them looks like burning coals, "Isn't it beautiful?"
"What?"
Dilandau looks forward again, and gestures with his hand, "It's all... burning... down..."
"Hey! Hey guys! That means you, Zarain! C'mon, something's going on out there! Let's go! Let's go!"
I bolt from my sleep, the details of the dream lost. Malenla's continues to yell harshly, "C'mon, everybody up! Let's go!"
I leap down from bed and start putting on the top of my uniform- I'm already wearing the pants. "What's going on?"
"We're under attack! Now c'mon!" Malenla shouts. From outside, I hear soldiers yelling. Gatti, Chesta, and Dalet, who are ready by now, run out of the room.
I strap on my sword. My ponytail's a mess from sleeping, but there's no time to worry about that. I rush from the barracks, in the direction from which all the noise is coming.
I reach the location of the action. All at once, a man breaks through the crowd. He's not one of ours. I draw my sword.
We fight for a while- he's better than me, and nearly wounds me- but I'm able to hold him off. That is, until he suddenly starts to run.
"Hey!" I shout. Where's he going? I start to run through the hallways in the direction I think he was going- towards one of the landing docks.
"Cherandle!" I turn. It's Gatti. "There you are! The Escaflowne's gone and we can't find Lord Dilandau or Chesta anywhere!"
"All right, Gatti, thanks!" I continue running. The Dragon escaped? Lord Dilandau and Chesta missing?
I arrive in the landing dock. The leviship is gone by now- but someone is walking away from the landing area. Almost limping.
It's Dilandau.
"Oh, Gods!- Lord Dilandau!" I run to him. As I near him I can see that he is clutching the right side of his face. His glove is covered in blood.
I stop a few feet in front of him, lost for words. My chin quivers, and I swallow to stop it, "Lord...?
He stops. Am I imagining it...? Or does the look of rage in his eyes fade for half a second? If it does, it quickly returns.
"Cherandle..." The hand on his face is brought away, revealing a long gash, running down his right cheek, "Look... Look what he did to my face!" his left hand garbs at my arm and wrenches me towards him. I find, for the third time, that our faces are a breath away. But this time, it's not the small of sweat or wine that reaches me... It's blood. I'm frozen in fear, to frightened to move; to do anything, really. If I speak, he might hit me... But if I don't...
"Ahm..." I stammer, trying my best to speak, "Uh..." I slowly reach up with my left arm, "Here... You should g-get that cleaned up... Lord Dilandau..."
I stop- talking and moving as well- when suddenly he rests his forehead against mine. I immediately try to think up an explanation for this- Maybe he's weak from losing blood...? I look at his right glove, which is practically dripping with the stuff. It's all over his face, too- some, even in his hair. His breath is coming very slowly and heavily.
Yes, he's weak... That must be it. For a moment I feel something I never thought I'd feel- I feel sorry for Lord Dilandau. I want to reach up and stroke a hand through his hair, or whisper words of comfort in his ear. Of course I know better, but I just can't bear to see him like this.
His face rolls upward, and mine with it. Our eyes meet... He does seem a little more calm- I'm sure of it now.
Seconds seem hours. But all at once he flinches and the anger returns. he pushes me away and stumbles on.
I don't try to follow him.
