Broken Dreams
By PepsiAngel
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to goddess of writing, J.K. Rowling. The lyrics come from the song Have You Ever by Brandy.
Author's Note: This song fits so perfectly with Ginny's feelings for Harry that I'm sure someone has had a similar idea as me. But, I assure you I didn't copy a soul.
Dedication: To anyone who is reading this right now, here's to hoping you will finish my story and review as well. I love you all, in advance, enjoy.
Ginny Weasley had always considered herself unattractive when she was younger, but now at fifteen she only wished that she had not been so hard to please. At least when she was a minute eleven year old with a splash of freckles sprinkled over her pale face, naively writing in that blasted diary, she had not been monstrously ugly.
She could just hear what her mother would say to that. "Oh, honestly, dear, don't be so hard on yourself!"
Well, she WAS monstrously ugly and there wasn't a soul who could convince her otherwise, except Harry. But he would never even carry on a real conversation with her, let alone assure her she wasn't ugly, that she was the most beautiful being to ever grace this Earth.
She shook her head, clearing away the daydream she had almost been swept into. She wouldn't let herself make false fantasies about Harry rescuing her on a white horse and riding off into the sunset together.
Ginny was not one to be logical, she had always been a dreamer… a starry eyed girl who wanted love above all things. However, if her feelings for Harry had taught her anything it was that dreaming never got you anywhere. Dreams could never come true, they were like little myths your mind created to taunt you. So she tossed her broken dreams aside, along with her youthful innocence.
Her mum would make remarks to cheer her up, but they would never work. "It's just a phase you are going through, you'll blossom soon," she promised. "And when you do, you'll make that Celestina Warbeck look like a troll!"
She would force a smile, more for her mother's sake then anything else, and act like she was cheered up bit. Mrs. Weasley would pretend to have fallen for it, trying to convince herself that her attempts were not in vain.
There was a good thing that Ginny did have now that she shut herself up in her room for most of summer breaks; privacy. Everyone, even Fred and George, seemed to realize that she needed time to heal her emotional wounds and that leaving her to her thoughts was best.
Of all her bad traits, there was a single good one that shown through. She could sing. Well, of course she could, we all can. But some of us scare small children when we sing; others make them fall asleep with their sweet, gentle voices. Ginny has the latter affect; she often left adults in a peaceful slumber.
She would sing along with the radio, but she preferred to make up her own songs that perfectly expressed her feelings. This day was not an exception, and as she lie down on her quilt covered bed she began to sing softly, "Have you ever loved somebody so much, it makes you cry."
"Have you ever needed something so bad, you can't sleep at night," she closed her eyes and let memories of Harry swarm over her. Harry with his black hair, the piercing green eyes. This reminded her of her first year and she smiled, a real genuine smile.
In her first year at Hogwarts Gilderoy Lockhart, the then Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, had thought it brilliant to have little dwarves deliver valentines. She thought this was a fantastic, private way to send Harry a card but she didn't expect him to turn into the laughing stock of the school for a day.
'His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad
His hair is as dark as a blackboard
I wish he was mine, he's really divine
the hero who conquered the Dark Lord.'
That was how the rhyme went, quite clever for a child, if she did say so herself. Harry kept his sense of humor about it the best he could but she knew it embarrassed him horribly.
She opened her eyes and the found memories seemed be zapped away. "Have you ever tried to find the words, but they don't come out right," she was singing a little louder now, her voice clear and pleasant.
"Have you ever, have you ever," the words seemed to cut deep into her heart. They were so filled with meaning and passion; it was as if she was singing to Harry without him being there.
Sitting up on her bed, she looked longingly out the window. Harry and her brothers were out there laughing, probably at a joke that one of the twins had made, and with the wind gently blowing Harry's hair he looked luscious. Ginny's paste colored cheeks flushed the color of a cherry and she regretted using such a descriptive word, even in her mind.
"Have you ever," she crooned. "Have you ever been in love, been in love so bad."
Harry's eyes shifted up to her bedroom window and Ginny automatically retreated into the shadows behind her curtains. He glanced away, feeling as though he should not have been looking up there.
"You'd do anything to make them understand," she continued with her spur-of-the-moment melody. "Have you ever had someone steal your heart away?"
She played with the fringe on her pillow, wondering why God had given her of all people the ability to sing like an angel. "You'd give anything, oh, to make them feel the same. Have you ever searched for words, to get you in their heart?"
Her eyes wondered back to the window and she could not help but peek out again, hoping for another glance at Harry. A most curious scene filled her eyes; he brothers were all out there, Ron, Fred, George, Percy, Charlie, and Bill. Harry was missing, though the others were carrying on as if he had not left.
"But you don't know what to say and you don't know where to start," her voice broke a little as she expressed her emotions perfectly through song.
"Ooh, have you ever find someone, you dreamt of all your life," she sounded beautiful. You could not put your finger on exactly what she sounded like, but it was a mix between two delightful things.
You couldn't tear yourself away, once she pulled you in. "You'd do just about anything, to look into their eyes."
"Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to," her voice rose many octaves. "Only to find that one won't give their heart to you."
Harry had not simply gone to use the bathroom when he disappeared; he had gone up to Ginny's room. He was sick of her hiding away; she was much too pretty to think so awfully of herself. He needed to just come out and tell her how he felt when he was around her, which happened less and less frequently lately.
"Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamt that they were there," she sang louder now, seemingly more comfortable with the song she was inventing. She only wished she had wrote the words down at the start, this could be a hit.
Harry, from his place in the doorway, longed to tell her that he felt that way about her too. He quickly scolded himself for jumping to conclusions; she was not necessarily singing that song for him. She could just be inventing lyrics, but some how he doubted it.
"And all you can do is wait, for the day when they will care," sang out Ginny loudly. She figured the whole house could hear her now, the ghoul was most likely going to start banging on the pipes in anger soon but she didn't give that a second thought.
" Have you ever loved somebody," she finished softly. Before she could start into another round of her song a sound just loud enough for her to hear caught her ear. She peered over at the door, slightly embarrassed.
"Sorry, mum," she started to say, figuring her mother had come to tell her to hush up. There was no one there, which puzzled Ginny but she simply shrugged.
Strolling over to her full-length mirror, Ginny pulled the cover off it. She had put it on the reflective surface the same day she had declared herself unfit to be seen by the outside world. After all, she didn't deserve the torture either.
She stared into the mirror intently, and for the first time in ages did not think she look so bad. Her eyes were sparkling with enchantment and her face shone, seeming to scream out to anyone who saw her that she was on cloud nine.
At the same time that Ginny was admiring herself in the mirror, Harry was currently hurrying down the stairs. There was only one thing on his mind: Ginny. He was thinking fondly of how amazing she looked belting out that song in her sweet voice, eyes sparkling like dark diamonds. In that one moment he had decided that he would confess to her his feelings, he could no longer bare to not hold her in his arms.
Ginny, meanwhile, was smiling at her reflection, pleased. Maybe one day she would make Celestina look like a troll, but in the mean time she was satisfied with just being her. She quickly scooped up her broken dreams and skipped merrily down the stairs, calling out that she was famished.
The old Ginny Weasley was back and, she was happy to say, the depressed Ginny would never be back.
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