Fractured fairytail

Once Upon a time when the world was
 young and filled with magic there
 lived a beautiful princess named
 Catherine, whom a handsome prince
 loved named Vincent. But theirs
 was a unique love. You see, Princess
 Catherine lived upon the earth in a
 castle made of gold and jewels. 
 Prince Vincent's kingdom existed
 below the ground, in a place filled
 with dancing light from hundreds of
 candles. It was a kingdom made of
 love and dreams and it existed in 
the hearts of men. It was in this 
kingdom below her world that they met.

Princess Catherine was loved and 
adored--beloved of all those who 
knew her. But she was prone to folly.
 One day she was out among the
 peasants when a cruel knight from 
the black castle accosted her. 
 "Noblewoman, bestow upon me your 
jewels and I will safeguard you from 
these filthy peasants," the knight told her.

Princess Catherine merely replied haughtily,
 "I need no protection from such as 
these, Sir Knight...but only from yourself.
 I shall take my leave of you." 
 With her nose in the air, she turned to leave.

"Not so fast, my fair lady. I
 WILL have your jewels." The knight's
 voice was hard and cruel as he
 grabbed the richly jeweled necklace
 from her slim, graceful neck. Princess
 Catherine grabbed at the knight's hand
 to no avail: her necklace was in his hands.
 Quickly, he slapped out with his armored 
hand, striking the lovely princess, who
 gracefully crumpled to the ground, her
 face bleeding from several cuts upon
 her face. 

Princess Catherine gracefully raised
 herself up upon her slender, pure, snowy
 white arm. ""Will none of you come to
 your beautiful,sweet and angelic princess'
 aid and destroy this dark-hearted black
 knight?" She pleaded, looking around at
 the few half- starved peasants, who merely
 turned and ran. She swooned.

The dark knight laughed wickedly and told
 her, "Lady, I take leave of you now. 
 And be grateful that I don't take YOU
 in the bargain." He turned and rode away,
 leaving the beautiful princess to mourn
 her fate and practice her swooning.

As the despicable knight left, the 
 peasants returned to see their beloved
 princess on the ground. "Oh Lord, the king
 will kill us all over this," said a
 toothless old hag. 

 "You'd think a princess would go out
 with her guards."stated another
 disheveled-looking fellow. 

A tall, skinny young man said worshipfully,
 "She's our beautiful, lovely, angelic 
 princess. If I'd come back earlier,
 I would have fought the dark knight."

"Yeah," the hag mocked. "Just like most
 men...led around by your hormones 
instead of your sense. A strong wind 
would come along and blow you right over."

"Enough of this!" said another,
 tougher-looking man. "There's only one
 thing we can do. Get rid of her body-
-after we take her rings, of course."

"Oh, you REALLY want us dead, Stupid," 
said the disheveled-looking fellow. "I 
know! Let's take her to Prince Vincent!
 He'll cure her and send her back to
 the castle! He's a sucker for these 
helpless sorts...and HIS hormones will
 go nuts over this one!"


"All right," the bigger man said. "But
 can we still have her rings?"

"No," said the old hag, "but we better
 hurry, drop Miss Beautiful off and high
 tail it out of here before her father,
 the King and his bunch of knights come
 looking for her and murder us all in the
 process. You!" she yelled, pointing to
 the young man. "Grab an arm." 

It took a handful of stick-like peasants
 to drag the princess Catherine to the
 entrance of Prince Vincent's domain. 
 Dropping the now dirty, but still
 beautiful Princess, the hag said,
 "Gods, she weighed a ton." 

"I told you we should have taken her
 rings," the tough-looking peasant yelled back.

"Oh shut-up," the old hag said,
 holding her back. "That designer
 dress laced in pure white pearls
 didn't help matters any."

"Pure white pearls?" All the peasants 
looked at the beautiful princess' 
 torn gown and then back along the
 path they'd dragged her. They sprinted
 up the path. 

"They're mine!" shouted the hag, shoving 
the others aside as she sprinted past
 the princess. 

They disappeared into the tall, dark forest.

A few hours passed, and when the beautiful
 Princess woke she looked around her. 
She didn't see any one coming to her
 rescue. She became furious, and yelled 
out into the night, "I'm a PRINCESS, you 
peons! I should be rescued by a handsome
 white knight, not dragged like a sack of 
potatoes and dumped!" She looked down at
 her beautiful designer dress and screamed.
..then fainted again.

It was then that a large, skinny mouse
 came out of the cave. But this mouse,
 whose NAME was Mouse, had shocking 
white hair and big blue eyes. He
 had come long ago to Prince Vincent's
 domain when he was just a young boy.
 The wicked black knight had caught
 him stealing the ladies chastity belts.
 The knight cursed him by changing him 
into a mouse, and having a group of cats 
chase him out of the castle into the dark 
and lonely night. But Prince Vincent found
 him instead of the cats and dragged him 
 kicking and screaming down to his domain. 

Mouse stopped short and stared down at 
the lovely Princess. He smelled around
 her, but found no food on her, and
 after lifting her tattered skirt,
 decided that it was obvious HER chastity
 belt had been stolen long ago. 
 Mouse decided to go to Prince Vincent
 and tell him to remove the Princess
 so he could go out and find something
 to chew on. 

When Prince Vincent came to investigate,
 it took him several minutes to heft
 the princess onto his shoulders 
(she HAD been overeating and not exercising 
of late). But, with his strong muscles and
 catlike grace, he lifted the beautiful
 Princess up in his powerful arms and 
cradled her like she was a tender bird. 
 He looked down into her beautiful,
 sweet,anglic face--now marred by
 several cuts--and fell deeply in love,
 for Prince Vincent was an innocent.
..and in truth, his hormones WERE raging.

Tenderly he brought her into his chambers
 and gently laid her down on his bed. 
 The cuts that marred her beautiful
 face only made him love her more--for
 Prince Vincent was not as other men. 
 Though beautiful, he was considered a
 monster by all who saw him because his 
face was cat-like instead of human. 
 He had never had a woman love him.
..nor had he ever dared to love one himself.

Vincent leaned over and whispered
 to the lovely Princess, "You are
 more beautiful than any woman I
 have ever seen. I love you." 
 He ran his huge hand tenderly
 over her face and she stirred
 gracefully (for of course, she 
was a princess and she did everything with grace).

Vincent was afraid that the cuts
 would become infected, so to keep 
them clean, he bandaged her entire 
face...even covering her eyes, because
 then she couldn't see him and be
 frightened. But since he was a good,
 kind Prince... even if his thinking
 WAS inhibited by his hormones--he
 doubled checked just to make sure
 that she had enough breathing space. 

It took Catherine three days to come
 out of the shock at seeing her
 designer dress torn. Upon awakening,
 everything was dark. She could feel
 the bandages around her face. "Oh God,
 my face. My beautiful, sweet, angelic
 face!" she cried in abject horror. 

 Vincent came to her side and gently
 held her. His voice was soft and comforting.
 "Lo, beautiful Princess-- for that you must
 surely be. I am Prince Vincent. I am Prince
 of this realm. I promise you I will take 
care of you and protect you until you feel
 better and even after that."

Princess Catherine laid back down in his
 bed. "Well, it's about time!" she 
thought to herself.

Weeks passed, and as they passed, Princess
 Catherine was waited on hand and foot by 
Vincent. He read to her so she wouldn't be
 bored, had his friend, Mary bath her, and 
he tenderly spoon-fed her himself. Finally,
 it was time for the bandages to come off. 
 Catherine requested the most beautiful handmirror 
available to gaze upon her beautiful face--the
 face that no man old ,crippled, lame, poor or
 rich could resist. .She wondered what her
 Prince would look like.

 As the bandages came off, Princess Catherine
 saw Prince Vincent and screamed. Poor Prince
 Vincent sadly walked away, leaving Princess
 Catherine alone. Sitting bolt upright
 in bed, Princess Catherine paused for a
 moment and looked around. "Okay," she 
thought. "so he's not the prince of my 
dreams. But he's cuddly and fuzzy and 
strong...and those teeth surely could come
 in handy. Of course, I can't take him
 out or show him off, but he DOES tell me
 repeatedly how beautiful I am, and look
 at me like I'm made of gold."

It was four more weeks until the sweet
 beautiful Princess Catherine could return
 to her own kingdom and leave Prince
 Vincent's domain. After all, he had 
to get her dress repaired, find her a 
hairdresser and a proper makeup man..
.and of course, pledge himself to 
protect her from any harm from man or beast. 

 As Prince Vincent led her back 
to her castle, he swore his undying
 love and kissed her hand and ran
 behind a bush as Catherine walked 
slowly to her castle. A guard 
yelled. The castle came to life
 with wild screams of "the Princess
 has returned. Riders set out on horseback
 to come for her. The knight who led the
 pack was Sir Elliot. .He reached down
 and swung Princess Catherine onto his 
horse in back of him and set out for the castle.

Meanwhile Prince Vincent was despondent.
 His Father, good King Jacob tried to lighten
 the mood, but Vincent would only run off 
to his room and moan. He could think 
only of the beautiful Princess Catherine,
 who took his heart. Late at night he
 could feel his love for her and wondered 
if she felt it too.

Princess Catherine, however, was none too
 pleased with Sir Elliot. "Elliot, darling,"
 she said spitefully, "I know you love me,
 so why didn't you follow me and fight to
 the death for me?"

"Come on, my beautiful one. I was busy
 with business. You should have told
 someone that you were going out alone. 
 I thought you had some sense." He held
 up his hands in mock fear. "Oh no, dear!
 Don't pout! I should never have 
 implied that you were asking for trouble."

"Elliot, you're lucky that my loyal
 subjects didn't hear you, or you'd be
 flogged to death." She primped. "It wouldn't
 do to have the peons think I'm not perfect.
..I am, after all, the beautiful, angelic
 Princess Catherine and not at all replaceable.
 Not even death can replace me. I'll 
come back to haunt everyone." She glared. 
"Get it, Elliot? 

***

Days passed and Sir Elliot was back
 doing business, so Princess Catherine,
 who wasn't the center of attention
 bemoaned her fate loudly. Sir Elliot
 looked up from his papers. "Can you 
hold it down, Cathy?"

"CATHY?," she stamped her foot. "Last
 night, I was your beautiful,sweet, 
wonderful, expensively dressed and
 accessorized Princess Catherine. 
 You don't worship me properly. I'm
 going to have Joe Maxwell take me 
to the dance." 

Elliot merely waved her away, and
 although Princess Catherine was insulted,
 secretly she was wondering if she'd 
left her gold-inlayed, jewel-clasped,
 designer chastity belt (with the jade 
escape fastener) over at Joey's apartment. 
 She swept haughtily upstairs, moaning that
 no one appreciated her. So, her first 
thought was to make herself feel better. 
 Running into the East wing, Princess 
Catherine consoled herself with her rooms
 filled with clothes, jewelry , coats
 and shoes. "God,I feel better already,"
 she said with a smile. But as she 
examined the clothes, she cringed. "Last year's clothes." 
 She moaned and was about to cry when she
 caught sight of her reflection in the
 huge mirror. She primped, distracted 
from her misery. "God I'm so beautiful." 
 After gazing at herself for a quite some
 time, she noticed a scuff mark on her dainty
 slippers. Letting rip with a loud scream,
 she shuddered and kicked the shoes off. 
 Wrapping a soft fur around her, her
 thoughts turned to Vincent...and
 she wondered how his fur would
 feel...and if he'd make a good 
coat. "No," she told herself. 
"I'd much rather he moan and carry
 on over me. Besides," she added
 as an afterthought, "I've never made 
it with a cat...at least not that I
 know of." As she danced down the
 stairs, she thought, =Thank God I 
forgot where I put my chastity belt.= 
 "He'll absolutely worship me."

As she passed Elliot, busy over his papes,
 she told him, "I'm going out to bestow
 blessings on the peons."

Elliot glanced up "Just wait a monent,
 Cath, and I'll come with you." 
 And he went back to his papers.

Princess Catherine cursed him under
 her breath, and left the castle
 unprotected. She didn't get far when a
 band of Diamond traders appeared. 
 Princess Catherine, who knew them 
by sight, paused in her mission 
the peons. The fat one had sold her
 a flawed diamond. "How dare you come 
back to my kingdom after you sold me a
 flawed diamond! ME, the most beautiful,
 sweet, angelic Princess you will ever meet." 
 She was most disgruntled. 

"But Princess," the trader reasoned,
 "you picked the diamond yourself."

At that, Princess Catherine turned
 red with rage--which wasn't her
 color--and she screamed and screamed,
 and the merchant, frightened that
 the king would chop off his head,
 tried to quiet her by putting his
 hand over her mouth. His hands were
 very strong and the princess began
 turning Smurf-blue...which wasn't
 her color, either.

Prince Vincent was still moaning in 
his room when he felt the Princess'
 fear. His lovely, sweet, angelic
 Princess was in trouble. With one 
great roar he dashed outside, down
 the hills and over the vales, only to
 see his beloved Princess Catherine
 kicking and struggling in the grasp
 of a grungy merchant. Still roaring,
 he promptly eviscerated the troublesome
 man and rescued his Beloved. 

Princess Catherine merely stood by and 
watched as her knight in fuzzy armor
 laid his sacrifice at her feet. 
 The merchant's death didn't concern her. 
 She was far more upset about the fact that
 while struggling, her hair was mussed..
.and she grimaced a bit as she stepped
 away from the blood: it wouldn't do
 to get blood on her dress or shoes..
.blood is SO hard to get out. 
 Bestowing a chaste kiss upon the
 only part of her prince that she could
 find unbloodied (his nose), she told him,
 "That'll teach them to sell me flawed
 diamonds!" She had Prince Vincent
 pick up the diamonds the merchant was 
carrying. After all, diamonds looked
 better on her anyway.

***

Prince Vincent, the innocent, almost
 passed out in rapture over the peck
 on the nose that lovely Princess 
Catherine bestowed upon him. =Gods,=
 he thought. =This is the best piece
 of lips I've ever had.= Dreamily,
 he went about gathering the diamonds
 scattered on the ground. 

"No! Not that one, Prince Vincent..
.over there," shrieked the demure
 Princess Catherine. =Gads, men are
 stupid...no matter WHAT they look 
like,= she thought. Using her little
 bitty, sugar sweet, baby girl voice, 
she said, "That one, there, sweetie"
 as she pointed frantically at a large
 stone glittering on the ground. 
 When he picked up the wrong one,
 she stomped her dainty little size 
10 foot (shoved into a size 9 1/2
 because the shoes looked better 
that way). 

Prince Vincent picked only the most
 brilliant and huge diamonds he could
 find to give his beloved. As he held
 out the diamonds, Princess Catherine
 gasped in dismay, "God,at least CLEAN them.
 Look! There's a drop of blood on 
the third one." Batting her eyes at 
him, she squeezed out a tear..."I gave
 you everything I had...the pleasure
 of being near me...a kiss from my virginal,
 very full-bodied lips. And you try
 to get me dirty!"

Prince Vincent fell to his strong,
 powerful kneesand hung his head in 
shame. "I'm so sorry, my angel." 

 "Hum..Hum.." Princess Catherine
 said staring down at him. I'll 
forgive you this time." 

"My Love, may I escort you back to
 my kingdom.?" asked a Asked a love-sick
 Vincent who, being the innocent that
 he was, thought that when Princess
 Catherine said virginal she meant more 
then pecking noses.

Princess Catherine looked down her long nose, 
drew her rather bushy, but still
delicate eyebrows into one brow. 
 This made Prince Vincent feel awful. 
 Heaven knew he never wanted to see 
her unhappy. For some reason when
 she was unhappy a large caterpillar
 crawled up onto her forehead. =It 
must be a Princess thing,= Vincent 
thought to himself . 

Princess Catherine stared at Prince
 Vincent, who was covered in yucky blood.
 It wouldn't look good for him to walk
 her to her castle. Someone might see 
him, and after all, she had a reputation
 to maintain. "I think," she told him
 haughtily, "that I shall return to my
 castle, and in the meantime, you can 
yourself up and dress better and I'll 
see if I can come tonight. Remember to
 wash off those beautiful diamonds of
 mine." Princess Catherine turned to 
walk gracefully back to her castle...then
 she thought better of it. =He DID slay
 the diamond merchant for me...and he
 worships the ground I walk on.= She 
turned, and in a grand display, she
 blew him a kiss from her full lips.

Vincent jumped into the air and 
caught really nothing, but since 
he thought he got something good,
 he wanted to relive it . 
 He promptly slapped her kiss on his nose, 
and with a starry-eyed, toothy grin
 Vincent pranced back to his kingdom. 
Upon reaching his Kingdom he ran into
 Mouse the mouse. So happy was Prince
 Vincent that he scooped Mouse up
 in his powerful arms . He swung
 him around until they were both
 dizzy, then put him down so he
 could go tell his good King Father
 about his date with Princess Catherine
 and the virginal kiss she granted him.

Good King Jacob was quite shocked 
to see his son covered in blood and
 smiling such a goofy smile. 
 "'What happened to you son?"

Prince Vincent threw his arms wide. 
 "Father! I met Princess Catherine,
 and she offered me her virginal lips."

Good King Jacob collapsed on his throne
 , stared at the sheer volume of blood
 covering his son and said, "God,she
 must have been a virgin for a heck
 of a long time."

***

"Yes,Father and I love her."declared 
Prince Vincent.

Good King Jacob stared at him and
 tried to remain calm. Until a huge
 black bat flew into his throneroom.
 He could hear the incoming army of 
bats flying down into his chamber. 
 "Son, I think you better talk to me
 after you clean up, or we'll have every
 dang bat with in 40 miles high on virginal
 lovin..HAAaa!" yelled King Jacob as
 he swatted at bats flying around 
his head and bats diving after Vincent.

"But Father I want to tell you of my 
love..." Vincent stopped to snag a
 bat in midair.

"Don't you DARE eat that! Vincent, for
 Heaven's sake, get washed up and take 
those bats with you." King Jacob dodged 
a huge bat coming right for him. "MOUSE! 
 New law! No real old virginal loving
 inside cave. Take it outside..And Mouse,
 I want SIGNS! "

"Yes Sir!" screamed Mouse as he dodged low 
flying bats and dove out the throneroom's
 entrance, followed by Prince Vincent, who 
was being circled by bats.

Good King Jacob straightened himself up
 and sat calmly back onto his throne.
 Looking around his throne room he was
 shocked! Batpoop was on everything. 
 "MOUSE! MOUSE, IF YOU HEAR ME, BRING A BROOM AND MOP!."

Mouse came running back with a 
large pooper scooper and started cleaning. 
 "Good King, Mouse doing experiment..
.can keep the batpoop? 

"What a day,." moaned the King. "Yes,
 yes. Go for it, but get it out of HERE."

Meanwhile, Servant Mary came wandering
 in and gazed lovingly at the Good King. 
 "What happened, my lord?" she asked in a 
calm, meek voice.

"You won't BELIEVE the day I had.
 You know that Princess Catherine?" he asked her.

"Of course. The one Vincent dragged home to nurse?"

Good King Jacob only nodded his head
 and fell quiet. At that time a 
wet-furred Prince Vincent came trotting
 into his father's throne room and 
announced happily, "Dad, I love the
 beautiful, wonderful, sweet, angelic
 Princess Catherine and she's coming 
over here tonight." His voice dripped
 daydream honey.

"She can still walk?" King Jacob
 shook his head in amazement. Clearing
 his throat, he added, "Well, son...of
 course she's welcome. But...did you 
happen to use protection?"

"Protection from what, dear Good King 
Father?" Vincent asked in total innocence.

"You know...the bats and the rodents," whispered 
 the good king. 

All three pairs of eyes turned to the king
 in amazement as they tried to figure out
 what he was talking about. After ten
 minutes of silent puzzlement Mouse spoke
 up. "OH! The birds and the bees!" 
 He clapped his hands together in glee.

Oh!" blushed Mary.

Vincent still didn't get it.
 "We're in a cave, Mouse," Father said 
in disgust. "Do you see any birds or
 bees here?"

"Well," Mouse added..."Did it outside."

"Father," Prince Vincent said, "I have to
 get ready for Princess Catherine's visit."
 He could only think of looking his best
 for his Lady Love. 

Father only shook his head. "Mary, you DID
 explain the bats and the rodents to him didn't you?"

Mary looked shocked. "I thought YOU were! 
 I mean, no...I never did it. And I guess
 you didn't either. Oh dear." Then looking
 defensive, she added, "Well, you ARE his father, 
you know."

King Father glared. "You're still upset with 
that artist friend of mine."

"Oh the one who joined a traveling circus so
 she could draw them and change their wagon 
wheels? No." She lifted her nose to stare
 down at him in contempt. 

Prince Vincent shrugged his shoulders and left.

Mouse just frowned and picked up batpoop.

"Mary, lets not fight. I'm so upset."

"I know but he's getting older, and yes,
 Princess Catherine is a royal pain. But
 he loves her so we have to give it a try." 
 She patted the good king's back. 
 "There, there." 

"Mary are YOU a virgin?" Good King
 Jacob looked down at his loyal 
faithful servant Mary. He always
 thought that at one time far off
 in the future they'd be together.

Mary only blushed and looked down,
 took a step back and giggled.

King Jacob motioned to Mouse, who 
scampered over, leaving his batpoop
 behind. King Jacob leaned over and 
whisperedin Mouse's big ear. 
 "Mouse, make a note for me, so 
I remember. Mary's about three times
 older than Princess Catherine."

Mouse started scribbling the
 message down on the King's desk,
 and King Jacob whapped him upside
 the head. "Don't write THAT, you fool.
 Just write "bring swimming wear ,bathing
 cap and wait until warm weather."

***

Vincent spent the rest of that evening
 cleaning everything in sight and taking
 every precious stone and bauble out 
of the Kingdom's treasury to display
 for the lovely Princess. Everyone
 pitched in. Just as Vincent was 
 finishing up, he coughed up a big hairball. 

 =Father was right,= he thought, =I shouldn't
 have eaten that bat.= Not only was his stomach
 growling, but he got fur catch in his back
 teeth..yuck.. 

The beautiful, sweet, angelic Princess
 Catherine wasn't in a happy mood either.
 No one passed her on the dirt paths
 leading to her castle to admire her,
 or drop down to kiss her ruby, diamond,
 or emerald rings...and certainly not
 to kiss her dainty size 10 shoved into 
a 9 1/2 feet. She was feeling so
 dejected as she walked back to the
 castle. There was no fanfare, nor
 even one shout of "Princess Catherine!" 
 That is...until she was just outside 
the drawbridge .

"Who goes there?" a guard challenged from the tower.

Princess Catherine was fit to be tied. 
 "It's ME, your Princess!"

"Nope," the guard said smugly, "she's
 visiting the east wing, so that means
 she won't be out til next Monday."
.
"Can't you see that I'm beautiful, you idiot?" she yelled back.

"No, but I can hear that mouth of yours.
 I may be semi-blind but I don't have an hearing problem."

"You won't have ANY problem, when your head falls off."

"Oh Lorry, lorry you ARE the Princess." 
 The guard turned around and screamed out
 "The Beautiful Princess Catherine is here.
 Open the drawbridge!"

The castle came alive, with people screaming 
and yelling as the drawbridge descended.
 Beautiful, sweet, angelic Princess
 Catherine came storming into the castle. 
 Sir Elliot was there to greet her. "My lady," 
he said with a bow.

'Elliot, I want that man beheaded!" 
 She pointed a shaking finger at the 
quivering guard. He face was as red 
as a beet as she cried, "He couldn't
 tell it was me, the most beautiful
 Princess or girl in the world." 
 She wailed and blubbered as Sir 
Elliot held her..

"Okay, okay. Calm down. Why don't you
 go inside, and I'll run up to the tower
 and slay him myself." Sir Elliot sniffed
 the air around him and then Princess
 Catherine's hair and wrinkled his nose.
 Princess Catherine was so distraught that
 she went straight to her room and to bed.
 Sir Elliot sent a guard to go fetch the
 wayward guardsman upon his tower.

The guardsman slowly approached Sir
 Elliot and hung down his head. Sir
 Elliot smiled."You're doing a good 
job .Dad. Don't worry about the Princess
 just hide out till after she leaves for 
her annual trip to Paris for the new summer
 fashions...she'll never know the difference."

"I'm sorry son."

Part 7

It took Princess Catherine four hours
 to rouse from her swoon just sit up 
in her bed. The whole thing was just
 SO traumatic, but of course she didn't
 cry, because that would ruin her 
makeup. She idly played with her rings.
..which of course shifted her mind
 back to the diamonds waiting for her
 down in Prince Vincent's kingdom. 
 =Well,= she thought. =Since no
 one bothered to check on me but but
 Dad,Elliot and Max , I'm going out to
 get my diamonds. 0 I worked for them,
 and there'll make me happy again. 
 I wonder if they'll even know I'm 
missing?= she thought sourly.

It took her another ten minutes to
 decide which of her many cloaks
 would look best with the setting sun.

Meanwhile Prince Vincent was sitting
 hunched over, head spinning ,
 sick and miserable. 

Mary ran her hand over his mane and 
whispered lovingly, "Vincent, you ate 
a bat, didn't you?"

"No." he moaned as he looked up at
 her and turned blue. "But the beast did."

"Oh,my little darling. Maybe we should
 get a message to your little friend
 and ask her to come tomorrow."

"Oh, no! I'll be better, I promise you."
 Prince Vincent managed to add a small
 smile and sat up straight. But as soon
 as Mary left, he collapsed and laid his
 head on the table.

It took a little while for the sweet,
 angelic Princess to walk down to
 Vincent's domain By the time she
 managed to arrive, the sun was being 
swallowed up by the earth darkness was
 falling across the land.

The tunnels rang out their welcome. 
 Citizens still half asleep waiting
for the blessed event scrambled around 
to grab flowers and flower petals to throw 
 as the Princess Catherine--the beloved of
 Prince Vincent entered. At each step she
 crushed the flowers that graced her path. 

Mouse watched with a frown, for he
 had to clean up the mess, and he
 cursed with each step she took. 
 Princess Catherine was thrilled. 
 =FINALLY the recognition she deserved!=
 She waved and smiled her Princess
 smile all the way up to Prince
 Vincent's outer chamber. Flowers,
 food and gems were laid out 
everywhere for her. Vincent sat behind the
 table and as she entered he stood to bow..
.and almost fell over. But she ignored the
 clumsiness because beautiful, clean,
 sparkling diamonds littered the table in
 front of him.

"Vincent! Where are the servants?"
 She asked...for surely she'd need 
help carrying all this loot.

"My beloved," he responded. "I asked
 them to leave us alone. For I have
 something to ask you." He sputtered 
and turned a brilliant pink, but he
 managed to force the words out. The 
chamber started to swim before his eyes. 
But he forced himself to remain conscious 
 for his beloved. 

Beautiful Princess Catherine's eyes 
lit up as she gazed lovingly at the
 sparkling diamonds . They're beautiful!
 Almost as beautiful as me," she whispered,
 barely paying attention to him at all.

"My beauitiful,charming, wonderful sweet, 
angelic Princess. I have told the King my
 father of our great enduring love." 
 He paused, trying to focus on her..
.she seemed to have two heads...or four
 eyes...he wasn't sure which. 

"Um Hum," she murmured, her eyes 
filled with questions and her attention
 divided between him and the diamonds..

Vincent grasped the edge of the 
table to keep from sliding under it. 
 He reminded himself NEVER to eat bats again.
 "Will you marry me, my beloved.?

Princess Catherine eyed the diamonds.
 The only way over to them was through Vincent. 
 She sighed. =Oh well,= she thought. 
 "Vincent, It wouldn't work out. I know 
that I bring joy , beauty and happiness 
to everyone's boring lives just by allowing
 them the gift of my presence. Would you 
deny my peons that? And think of all the
 royal balls I have to attend so I can show
 off my new clothes and make everyone happy! 
 Vincent, I can't leave my father's kingdom! 
 That would be too cruel ."

Vincent couldn't help but hang his head.
 "You're right. Forgive me my love,
 my beloved. Your life is up there in 
the sunlight, and our love must be shared 
in sacred stolen moments." Sadness beyond
 belief filled the chamber...at least for him.

Princess Catherine just smiled and stated
 sweetly, "That's right, my love. I knew
 you'd understand.". She went to Vincent,
 who really couldn't get up, and patted 
his mane . The feel of his fur coat sent
 chills up and down her spine. "Oh God!"
 she whimpered as she continued stroking
 his fur. Fondling the soft fur reminded
 her of how she would throw her minks down
 on the floor and roll in them. She quivered.
 "Oh my God!" Princess Catherine cried out 
as her eyes rolled in back of her head. 
 She stroked harder and harder. 
 "Oh God...YES...YES..."Princess Catherine 
yelled out, her face flushed with excitement.
..as her legs gave out and she sank to the floor,
 utterly exhausted.

Prince Vincent was almost unconscious.
..but not with delight. He was so sick
 he thought he was going to throw up. 
 "My beloved .then you WILL marry me?"
 he said hopefully.

"No,but I'll be back. God, look at you! 
 You can barely see straight! I know it
 was as good for you as it was for me." 
 With that, she kissed his sweaty brow.

***

Mouse hopped, skipped and ran into the 
throne room looking everywhere for his
 good king. King Jacob came stumbling 
in. He looked a fright, with torn clothes,
 his crown sitting cocked on his head and
 a sign clenched tightly in his hands. 
 He looked shell shocked.

Mary met Mouse as he came in and she
 was leaving...she stared back at
the good king. "I'm sorry, Jacob. 
 We'll just have to do it another time." 
 She walked slowly out.

Mouse shrugged and said, "My good king,
 Mouse sealed hole that bats came into
 tunnels." The good king didn't seem 
to hear, and merely fell to his knees
 and began to pray. Hesitating, Mouse
 looked down at the king for a moment,
 then asked, "Are you okay my lord?"

The king peered up through one closed eye.
 He nodded. "I'm thanking God, Mouse,
 that something can get so old it rusts shut."
 Carefully closing his eyes he continued
 with his prayers.

Mouse was perplexed, "Mouse not understand."

"God, Mouse," the good king said. "It 
all happened so fast! I was on the
 ground begging for mercy...I thought 
I was a goner."

Mouse just nodded his head and backed away.
..only to have Mary grab him. "Mouse,"
 she whispered, hissing a little. 
 "Can you get into ANY chastity belt?"

By this time Prince Vincent was waking up.
 He felt wonderful, for he'd slept off
 the effects of his bad bat snack and 
there, to his amazement, was the lovely 
Princess Catherine asleep on his chest.
 Her hair was mussed and from her 
precious, pouty lips a string of drool
 trailed. =Isn't that cute?= Vincent 
thought to himself. He laid there for
 several minutes watching his beauty 
sleep, then he woke his beauty up. 
 "I love you Catherine...more then life."

Princess Catherine only smiled as he
 helped her up to her feet. "Is it morning?" 
 Princess Catherine asked a little nervously. 
 "Oh,God...if it is, I'll be late to get ready
 for tomorrow's royal dance. I still have
 to pick out my jewels...but oh...your fur!" .

Mouse gently knocked on the side of the
 entrance to Vincent's outer chamber.

"Yes, Mouse?" Vincent called out.

"Are you decent?" Mouse asked.

Prince Vincent looked down and smiled
 at his Catherine. "Yes, we're decent.
 What do you want?" Vincent's voice
 was filled with love.

"King says he'll be at least an hour late
 before he does his welcoming to
 Beautiful Princess Catherine." Mouse
 bowed slightly to the Princess as he
 took his leave.

"Vincent! A welcoming for me to your
 kingdom! How nice." Princess Catherine said.
 "God, look at me! Do you have a mirror?"

Mouse couldn't wait to leave this lovely
 dovey stuff..yuck. Everyone was going 
insane. =And they talk about Mouse and
 chastity belts!= Mouse returned to the 
throne room and found the Good King
 settled downed and practicing his speech.
 Like he really needed to. Everyone
 had heard it at least a thousand times. 
The trick was staying awake and keeping the king happy.
 But Mouse had an idea....

***


Good King Jacob was going to make his
 welcoming to the kingdom speech again.
 By this time, the king's subjects knew
 it by rote, and most of them fell into
 a deep coma just at the thought of it.
 As his subjects entered the great hall,
 Mouse greeted them, whispered in their
 ears and gave out a small bag for a
 copper apiece. Good servant Mary
 even bought a bag upon hearing Mouse's
 pitch. Soon, the Good King Jacob 
entered with Beautiful , sweet, anglic
 Princess Catherine--who was extemely
 flushed-- and Prince Vincent's--whose 
fur was matted at odd angles.

"Good citizens of our Kingdom," Mouse cried
 out as he ran up on stage. "Introducing our
 Good King Jacob."

Their were a few cheers coming from his
 subjects as their Good King Jacob came
 forward with a smile and started his
 speech. "Ahem. We are here to welcome
the beautiful,sweet, anglic Princess
 Catherine to our kingdom." 
 
From behind the King , Prince Vincent 
 and Princess Catherine, Mouse produced 
a sign that said, "No old virginal loving 
in the cave take it outside, by order of the
 king." Then, realizing his mistake, Mouse
 quickly turned the sign around. "Cheer,
 Applause" it said..

The Good citizens of the Kingdom cheered. 

The Good King smiled and waited 
for Mouse to put the sign down
 so they would stop on cue. Then
 the good king delivered his speech.

"Now, this kingdom started a good
 many years ago, but before that
 I was born, and at the tender age
 of five I walked ten miles to the
 watering shed were I hid picture
 books and back again--not like
 the youths of today.......etc, etc.
 ad nauseum." The king was so engrossed
 in his speech that he didn't see all of
 the inhabitants sniffing a small bag.
 But when his speeches ended, there wasn't
 a dry-eyed subject to be seen...including Mary.

Princess Catherine was the next speaker. 
 "You peons are lucky to have me come. 
 I will bring my dazzling light, beautifully
 done hair, sweet angelic face to you all. 
 But since I am also a Princess to my own peons,
 and they would have no beauty and light if
 I were gone, I will only visit you from time 
to time to brighten your hum-drum lives." 
 Princess Catherine gave a little wave, and
 walked back over to Prince Vincent.

Mouse held up the applause sign and 
then produced a sign saying, "Dismissed." 

The citizens went wild with cheers and 
clapping, and Princess Catherine--who
thought the applause was for her blew
 them little kisses. The citizens left.

Good King Jacob was thrilled that
 his speech had been so well received. 
 He decided that all his practice must
 have reaped great rewards, and figured
 he'd give it again to Mary and Mouse just
 to keep it fresh in his mind. Never mind 
the little mishap between him and Mary earlier.
 =It must have been the tone of authority
 he thought smugly and started all over again.
 Both Mary and Mouse smiled lamely 
and sniffed the small bags they held until 
the king ended the speech and left.

Mary was about to pass out, her eyes bulged
 out and tears formed in them, but she grabbed 
hold of Mouse. "That's the best invention yet,
 Mouse! The 'How to stay awake during the kings 
speeches bag."

Mouse smiled and said, "I told you that 
it would come in handy." =I'll have to 
be sure to gather more batpoop before the
 king's next speech,= Mouse thought wisely. 

Beauiful, sweet, a matted Prince Vincent
 escorted out angelic Princess Catherine
 of the tunnels. "I love you Catherine." He told her.

***

And I love you,My furry little fur coat,"
 Princess Catherine told him. "But I'm 
afraid that I have to leave you now .
 A princess' work for her kingdom is never finished."

Prince Vincent tenderly and reverently 
took Princess Catherine's hand and escorted
 her away from his chamber. Prince Vincent
 was so engrossed in his Beautiful Princess 
that he didn't hear his Father starting to repeat
 his welcoming speech to Mary and Mouse. 

 The good citizens watched the happy couple.
 Some just tried to keep from laughing. 
Others didn't care and chuckled anyway.
 The younger, teenage generation just 
pointed and gave Vincent a high five. But 
neither of them noticed...they were in their
 own little world as they exited the tunnels. 
 "I'll walk you home, my Princess, for it's very
 late and very dangerous." Vincent told her with 
starry-eyed reverence.

"It's about time people thought about ME,"
 Princess Catherine told him. "Kind Prince,
 please do walk me to my father's castle,
 and I'll allow you to tell me how wonderfully
 beautiful I am."

"Oh, thank you. Princess . But where to begin....."

Prince Vincent and Princess Catherine
 walked hand in hand to her father's castle
 with Prince Vincent telling her how beautiful
 she was. They only stopped when they were
 a couple of miles from the castle. The drawbridge
 was down, as wagons and richly-dressed
 nobles arrived in preparation for the royal party.
 Princess Catherine placed her hand on Vincent's
 and his huge hand covered it. "Prince, we
 must part here. No! Before you speak,
 I must tell you...I can't see you for a while."

At Prince Vincent's mournful look, she added,
 "I know your heart will be broken, so I want
 you to write me every day telling me how
 much you love me and how you would be happy 
to die and kill for me." Princess Catherine 
batted her eyes and slid her hand away from
 his. She blew him a kiss and he caught it 
and placed it on his heart. 

As Princess Catherine ran down the hill and joined 
the caravan, mixing with the crowd till she disappeared
 inside her castle, Prince Vincent wasn't thinking
 of anything but getting back to his kingdom
 and writing page after page of his love--pouring
 out his heart on murdered tree pulp paper. 
 He daydreamed his way back to his kingdom,
 and upon reaching the entrance, he sat down 
and ordered Mouse to get him the best tree pulp 
paper and a pen. Mouse scurried away, and 
he returned, Prince Vincent wrote what was in his
 heart, and then fell into a deep sleep.

The morning sun shining in his face woke him.
 His first sight was Mouse's friend raccoon,
 who held his lovely words to Princess Catherine
 in his paws. The prince crawled toward the
 raccoon, who backed away, hissing. "Come on,
 Arthur. Give it back to me." Arthur stuck
out his tongue and ran away to sit and wave
 the paper at him. Of course, Prince Vincent
 gave chase, but he never managed to get
 close enough to grab the paper. With a
 flick of his tail, the raccoon disappeared
 into a thicket. 

***

Five months had passed since our beloved
 Prince Vincent had last seen HIS beloved
 Beautiful Princess Catherine--but each
 day he wrote her long love sonnets.
 The Good King Jacob was quite worried
 over his love-sick son, who never seemed
 to leave his bedroom chamber, and it 
was starting to get pretty ripe in there.
 The Good King sent Mouse to bring his
 servant Mary to throneroom. "Mary,"
 greeted King Jacob....Mouse turned to
 leave but King Jacob barked, "Mouse! 
 Where are you going? Stay put! That's an order."
 He sure as hell didn't want to be left
 ALONE with a horny Mary. In truth,
 he was scared to death of her. When
 he saw that Mouse was staying, he turned
 to Mary. 
"Mary, I'm worried about Prince Vincent. 
 The only time he leaves his room Is to
 stare at the stars, yell at Mouse's raccoon,
 or get us to make more paper. 
 Shouldn't he be over with this yet? 
 I KNEW that girl was trouble."

"Well," Mary mused..."he loves her.
 I've been going out every week with
 a bag of sonnets for her and giving 
them to her servant. All those sonnets,
 and all he got was a book and a used 
hankerchief. (sp?) But they seem to
 be enough for him. I'm not 
sure this IS just a phase. Since this
 really is his first crush, he's gone
 completely over the deep end. But 
time will tell."

"Well," King Jacob growled, "I'll give
 him a week, then I'm ordering him out
 of his room. And if he doesn't come out,
 I'm having Mouse take all his paper. 
 I'm determined to end this lovesickness 
once and for all!"

=Yeah, sure= Mouse grumbled under
 his breath. =You're not the one he'll gut.=

Back in his chamber, Prince Vincent 
was bent over his desk, furiously 
 writing of his love. The fur on his 
fingers was stained with ink, and clenched 
in his left hand was a dirty hankerchief
 with an initial C embroidered neatly on it.

***


Just before the big day came to welcome 
home Beautiful Princess Catherine's father,
 Beautiful Princess Catherine stayed in 
her room reading Prince Vincent's love sonnets.
 =,Oh how he worships the ground I stroll on= 
she thought with a smile. =I have him hooked
, and hooked bigtime!= Sir Elliot was busy 
putting together the final arrangements for
 her father's homecoming, and everyone else 
was busy. =Just like Dad to make HIMSELF
 the center of attention,= she thought spitefully
 as she pouted. She decided she should 
really write Prince Vincent back and keep
 him spellbound in her enchantment. 
 Princess Catherine reached beside her
 on the little pure golden table and grabbed
 a beautiful quill and some paper.

Dearest One,
 Your heart betrays its overwhelming
 love for only me. And I miss you every time
 I stroke fur. As you should know, my Father is
 coming home, and he's getting all the attention.
 I am so upset that you're not here making
 a big fuss over me, that I thought of crying. 
 All these peasants, including Sir Elliot,
 are only thinking of my father. You DO know
 that I am going to France for a couple of months? 
 I shall have a life-sized painting made for
 both you and Sir Elliot and a smaller one
 made for Lord Maxwell. I know, I know..
.I am extremely generous, but you're worth it..

Love,

Beautiful , sweet, charming, Princess Catherine

Beautiful Princess Catherine left
 the note (and everything else) on 
the small golden table, knowing her 
servant would take care of it while 
she slept. She'd been so tired lately,
 and she slept like a log--it was the
 first good sleep she'd had in a long 
time, and it was was due to Sir Elliot,
 who scared away the person responsible
 for altering her dresses. Princess
 Catherine smiled. She'd always been so
 fortunate, being able to depend on the
 men in her life to overcome her problems.
 Beautiful Princess Catherine slept
 the whole day through, missing her
 father's homecoming--which didn't
 really matter, for he was stuck dealing
 with the local Princes. Only Lord
 Maxwell came to the ball to celebrate
 her beauty, and he was disappointed. 
 In the meantime, her servant Plain Jane
 (Princess Catherine called her that)
 had taken Vincent's letter and given 
it to Mary, who dropped by with stacks
 of love letters.
 
Prince Vincent was nervously awaiting 
Mary's return--hoping, praying for a 
letter or a small token from his beloved.
 Mary had just set foot in Prince Vincent's 
Kingdom when Prince Vincent ran over to her.
 Mary handed Prince Vincent a small letter,
 which he clutched to his heart, and grabbing
 Mary, he and gave her a big hug. 
 Then, releasing Mary, he scrambled back to
 his room with his treasure, where he read 
her words over and over again. Ah, such pleasure and pain. 
 Pleasure from her sweet words and knowing
 that she remembered him and thought of him,
 and the pain of knowing that she'd be gone 
 for months. Prince Vincent roared out his pain.
 He roared until Good King Jacob ran 
into his son's room with his ears covered. 
 "Vincent, shut-up! You're deafening me!"
 he screamed over his son's caterwauling. 
 Prince Vincent grew silent with his
 features distorted in pain. 
 Good King Jacob sat next to his son, and
 putting his arm around Vincent,
 he softly told him, "Vincent, you have to be reasonable!
 I know it's your first piece of...um.
..lips...but get a GRIP here. I've been
 through almost the same thing. I was
 very much in love with MY first, but she 
left me, and you know I found another
 that I loved better."

"I can only love her," Vincent explained. "She told me so."

Furious now, King Jacob whacked his son
 over the head with his cane and yelled,
 "Vincent that's IT! Now, I'm the King. 
 Get out of this room, go outside and get
 some of that stink off of you! And you
 are coming to dinner and you WILL be happy. 
 That's a Royal Order!"

"But father." Vincent pleaded

"NO! Now listen, I have my own problems. 
 OUTSIDE NOW!" King Jacob ordered. 

Vincent bowed his head and left. 
 Then King Jacob looked around and 
 noticed he was alone. If Mary caught
 him alone.... "MOUSE!" he screamed.

***


The morning was bright and beautiful, just
 as Princess Catherine would have ordered 
it to be (if she could have). Beautiful
 Princess Catherine felt wonderful when she
 stretched in her bed and opened her eyes.
 Today was the big day. She could hear 
the sound of fussing, wagon wheels turning
 onto the grounds and the sounds of horses. 
 Throwing her bedding off and onto the floor,
 Princess Catherine yelled for Plain Jane 
to get her dressed for the big event.

After dressing, Princess Catherine
 tried gliding down the stairs, but
 gave up with gliding because they 
groaned too much...so she did her best
 not to bob as she walked. She was
 greeted by Lord Maxwell and Sir Elliot. 
 Throwing her arms around Lord Maxwell's
 neck she asked, "Oh, Maxie, did you bring
 me anything?"

"Of course, how could I NOT bring
 the most enchanting creature on
 the face of this Earth a present?"
 Lord Maxwell took a shining green
 emerald as big as his hand out of 
 his cloak and presented it to her. 

Princess Catherine snatched it out 
of his hand and eyeballed it. "It's
 beautiful,Maxie!" Tilting her head
 up she offered him her lips, which he
 gladly kissed. Sir Elliot just stood
 there, watching with amusement. 
 'How's Daddy?" Princess Catherine
 asked as she held the large emerald 
up to the light .

"He's stuck with those barbarians. But,
 he didn't want his little Princess to 
miss her trip to France, so he sent me-
-his royal advisor--to make sure you got 
there in time ."

Slowly the little group meandered
 outside lines of wagons, which were
 lined up as far as one could see. 
 Princess Catherine's clothes and 
jewels were being loaded. "Since 
you slept most of this day away and 
yesterday, I propose that we leave 
immediately." Lord Maxwell held up his
 hand letting the Beautiful Princess
 rest her hand on top of his. Sir Elliot
 in the back ground stuck out his
 tongue and waved over his head . 
 Lord Maxwell led the Beautiful
 Princess over to the royal carriage
 and started to help her up. "UMPH!"
 he exclaimed. "You've gained alittle 
weight, my dear." Lord Maxwell said with
 admiration. "It's very becoming on you."
'
The beautiful princess just sniffed. 
"It's just these dresses are fluffy. 
 isn't that right, Elliot?"

Elliot bowed. "Absolutely," he said
 with a wide grin.
.
After Lord Maxwell helped Princess Catherine
 up and got her situated, he smiled nastily at Sir Elliot. 

Sir Elliot smiled back and quipped, 
"Always liked those fat girls, didn't 
you, Maxie?" He mocked Catherine's voice.

"Had I the time, Sir Elliot, I would challenge you ."

Sir Elliot shrugged. "Big deal.
 My archers would strike you down 
before I even took the field of honor." 
 Elliot smiled, which caused Lord Maxwell's 
veins on his forehead to pop up. 

Lord Maxwell tossed Sir Elliot an angry
 glance as he went around to the other 
side of the carriage and seated himself
 beside the Princess.

Catherine leaned out the window " Forward!" she yelled.
 The coaches and wagons came to life and began moving. 

Prince Vincent waited up on the hillside,
 watching. Finally he spotted her carriage
 with Its flag rippling in the soft breeze
 as it slowly disappeared from sight. Prince
 Vincent roared. And roared. And roared. 
 Back at the castle, Sir Elliot heard the 
pitiful roars and yelled at his guardsmen, 
"Will someone find that animal and put it out
 of its misery? It's giving me a headache."

***

As the months slowly dragged by, a deep
 depression seem to settle over Prince 
Vincent's Kingdom. Prince Vincent himself
 snapped at everyone who bothered him when
 he was writing, which seemed to be all
 he was doing. The trees around the
 entrance to the tunnel kingdom seemed 
to be disappearing daily (used for paper
 pulp, most likely).

Good King Jacob, with the ever-present
 Mouse barely managed to keep Mary at bay.
 There were some close calls for a while. 

But at the Kings castle, under
 the guidance of Sir Elliot,
 every day was a party as people
 tried to make use of the time without
 having to cater to Princess Catherine. 
 They partied, wined and dined and formed
 new friendships. When Sir Elliot occasionally 
remembered Princess Catherine, he'd throw 
simply begin planning another party,
 and it always worked. He forgot all about her.
 But parties DO cost, and soon Sir Elliot 
found himself having to dig rather deeply 
into his pockets...so he formed an alliance
 with the Black Knight, Gabriel. Sir Elliot 
would inform the Black knight which hamlet to
 destroy, and then split the profits 60/40,
 with Sir Gabriel receiving the lion's share. 
 It wasn't a bad life, actually. 
 But all things good and bad must come to an end,
 for the Beautiful Princess Catherine
 and Lord Maxwell were on their way home..
.and before Sir Elliot realized it, the time 
was gone. 

'Sir Elliot, Beautiful Princess Catherine
 and the king's trusted advisor are at
 the gates." announced the kingdom's town crier. 

"Ha... ya...I hear you!" shouted Sir
 Elliot, throwing his pillow out the
 window, hitting the crier on his head. 
Sir Elliot stumbled out of bed, crying,
 "Guard ! Guard!"

HIs trusty weather-beaten guard came in. 
 "Ha! There you are! I want you to get
 the others together. Make sure all the
 kegs of rum are hidden, and for God's misery,
 take the girls out the back while I stall,"
 ordered Sir Elliot.

The guard just stared at Sir Elliot's floor.

"What are you looking at?" Sir Elliot
 asked as he followed the guard's eyes 
down to his floor.

"Your whoopie cushion sir." frowned the guard.

Sir Elliot kicked the whoopee cushion under
 his bed and addressed his guard with irritation,
 "You're dismissed." As the guard left,
 Sir Elliot furiously dragged his clothes 
on and ran down the stairs into the courtyard
 yelling, "Toss the banners down ,
 and everyone cheer for your beloved
 Princess and the idiot with her!" 
 Sir Elliot made it to the gate just 
in time as the drawbridge slowly lowered.

As the carriage approached, Sir Elliot
 plastered on a smile. Beautiful Princess
 Catherine was the first to descend, with
 the aid of Sir Elliot. "Why, Beautiful
 Princess Catherine, France did wonders for you."
 =Thank God France worked the fat off her
,=he thought to himself.

"Sir Elliot , you missed me!" she smiled and pouted.

"And has such a beautiful Princess missed me?' he cooed

"Oh, yes, I've missed such a handsome
 escort." she answered, placing a kiss 
on his cheek." But I have a surprise
 for you." Princess Catherine leaned 
back into her carriage as Lord Maxwell 
handed out a baby. Lord Maxwell's face 
looked down furiously at Sir Elliot.

Sir Elliot gulped and fainted as two guards 
ran up to catch him. When Sir Elliot woke
 up in his bed, Beautiful Princess Catherine
 was sitting on his bed next to him. 
 With vast relief, he whispered, "It was a 
bad dream--a baby."

'No dear," Princess Catherine answered. "I'll tell you all about it."

'But we were CAREFUL.'' he whimpered.

"Well, do you want to see him?'

'Do I have a choice?" Sir Elliot asked, closing his eyes.

Princess Catherine had Plain Jane carry
 in the baby, who was crying and very soggy.
She handed him and his leaking diaper
 straight to Sir Elliot, who dropped 
the baby onto the bed in disgust. 
"It's wet!" As he stared at the baby, 
who was moving his arms around, Sir Elliot
 noticed that the baby's hands had small
 claws on the ends of his fingertips.

***

This time it was Sir Elliot that stayed
 in bed thinking. He thought for a long
 time. He thought until his weathered beaten
 guard came in. "Damn it! What do you want?" 
 Sir Elliot whimpered petulantly.

"It's a message from the Black Knight,
 Gabriel. He wants to see you NOW."

"Just line up the archers and shoot me."
 Sir Elliot was quite despondent. "Get
 my horse,Tell Princess Catherine...No,
 never mind. Don't bother. She's probably
 playing with her new clothes." Sir Elliot
 sighed. "I'll be down in a minute. 
 You're dismissed."

The guard bowed slightly and left as
 Sir Elliot rose to get ready for his ordeal.

The castle of the Black Knight was
 cold and damp. Sir Elliot wrapped
 his cloak tightly about him as he 
was lead by a hunchbacked little man
 to the Black Knight's lair. The room
 was stark, with only a huge fireplace. 
 A tall, lean snake of a man stood by
 the fire.

"Gabriel, nice to see you." Elliot managed to say

"Stop the small patter, Elliot.
 You don't like to see me at all."
 Gabriel's voice was low and cold,
 and it sent chill's through poor Sir
 Elliot, who was already miserable enough..

"I wouldn't say that. We work well
 enough together." Sir Elliot tried
 to seem unconcerned.

"Do you know why you're here, Elliot.?"

Sir Elliot shook his head and gave Gabriel a hesitant smile.

"You're here because I want a son," the Black Knight told him.

Sir Elliot looked down at himself
 and then over to Gabriel in shock before
 speaking "I don't think I'm your type."

"Not YOU, You money hungry dimwit! 
 I need a strong son to carry on my name."

"But you already have a son, "Sir
 Elliot said, peering around.

"No, my son died a manly death."
"
One on the battlefield?"

"No."

"Fighting over money?"

"No"

"Over a woman?"

"No."

"Well, then, how the hell else could he have died?"

Gabriel grinned, and he looked like
 a skull. "I said he died a manly death 
in the heat of competition."

Raising his eyebrows, Sir Elliot shrugged.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "My son farted
 into the fireplace and blew himself up."

Sir Elliot looked down at the hard
 cold floor and tried hard to keep from 
laughing. He couldn't imagine...if
 HE farted into the fireplace, all it ever
 got HIM was scorched. 

The Black Knight Gabriel said, "I
 heard though my spies that a son 
born of a plain servant had claws.
 THAT is the child I want."

"Well I don't think..." Sir Elliot began, but he was interrupted

"Nobody asked you to think. You 
will get me the child, or else
 it's going to come out to your king
 that you've been telling me where to 
burn down hamlets that housed certain items."

Sir Elliot took a deep breath and felt
 a certain relief. =Oh well. Children
 do die everyday.= He figured he could
 just pay off the servant, Plain Jane,
 hire a doctor to tell his Beautiful,
 unfaithful, fur-crazy Princess that
 her child died, and buy her some new 
clothes. It could work. "You have a 
deal. Can I go now?"

Gabriel motioned to the small hunchback
, who grabbed Sir Elliot's hand to
 lead him out. Gabriel wasn't done yet.
 An old wizard of a man came forward.
 Well, seer," he said, "You know what 
to do. I will have the child of Princess 
Catherine and Prince Vincent. And if she 
does come as you predicted, deal with her."
 Gabriel laughed an evil laugh. 
 The old wizard disappeared back into
the darkness he came from.

***


While Sir Elliot was bribing Plain
 Jane and the Doctor, Beautiful Princess
 Catherine was on her way to Prince 
Vincent to tell him of his son and ask
 him to raise the baby. She figured
 that because the baby was born with
 claws the people, both rich and poor
 might take it as an sign of evil.
 Prince Vincent meanwhile had received
 news of his Beloved coming home,
 and was going into the woods to await 
her arrival. Beautiful Princess 
Catherine was halfway to Vincent
 when she was appoarched by an old man.
 Going up to the lovely Princess, 
the man bowed slightly. "Never have 
I seen such a beautiful Princess in 
this or any other land. I am your
 servant, my Lady."

"Oh arise, peasant," she said happily
. "You may kiss my ring, for you have
 greatly pleased me...just don't drool 
on it." She held her hand out for the
old man to kiss her ring.

"Princess," he told her, "I am but
 a poor wizard, but I have great
 powers. I shall grant you three 
wishes for a diamond."

The princess started to laugh at the
 old wizard. "I'm no fool. Give me
 your three wishes first, old one..
.and THEN I'll give you a diamond ring."

He bowed "Your wishes are my command
...but only two wishes, then the diamond.
..a diamond so perfect and pure.
..and only then will your last wish 
be granted." His eyes twinkled in merriment.

"My first wish is to have the 
most beautiful dress in the world." 
 PUFF a puff of smoke and the
 Beautiful Princess Catherine
 was now wearing the most beautiful
 gown she had ever seen. She jumped
 up and down in excitement.
 "My second wish is a white seal
 cloak to cover my beautiful dress."
 PUFF a second puff of smoke and
 Princess Catherine was wearing a 
long white seal cloak over her beautiful dress.
 Princess Catherine was beside herself
 with sheer joy.

"It is done," the old man said,
 "and now for my payment, for I 
have kept my part of this agreement."

Beautiful Princess Catherine frowned
 and eyed the old wizard up and down,
 appraising him. At this ancient age 
he must be senile, she reasoned,
 remembering the old chipped child's
 diamond ring her father had given her
 .She pulled off that ring and handed 
it to the old wizard, who took it in
 his twisted old hand and clenched it tightly.

"Now for your last wish," he said, a 
tinge of spite echoed in his words.

"I wish that I was young and Beautiful forever"

The old man laughed. "So might it be,"
 he snarled. Gabriel was right. She
 was vain and empty-headed. Princess 
Catherine began to slowly freeze and 
turn into a crystal statue, but her mind
 screamed out for Prince Vincent, who 
always rescued her.

Prince Vincent was still waiting for
 Princess Catherine when he heard her
 heart screaming inside him. The beast
 within him roared in fury. 
 He made it to the little clearing in 
under a minute--a record time. And
 stopped dead in his tracks, for there before
 him was the beautiful Princess Catherine
 turned into crystal. 

The old wizard who was on the other
 side of Catherine didn't see Prince
 Vincent.as he raised his voice to
 the heavens: "You are cursed to
 be as you wanted--young and beautiful 
forever! Only three magic words can free
 you unless..." 

Prince Vincent roared out at the old
 wizard,who turned to run. only to be 
lifted up into the air with his feet
 dangling. '"Remove the curse!" 
 Prince Vincent roared into the old
 wizards face. The man was petrified.
..he started gasping for breath, turning blue,
 his eyes popping out. "My heart,"
 gasped the wizard with his last breath,
 and died from a combination heart
 attack and ancient age right in Vincent's hands.

"Aaaaaah!" Vincent cried out as he
 dropped the old dead wizard to the ground. 
 Prince Vincent fell to the ground beside him. 
 "You must live!" The old wizard began to
 crumble, turning to dust and was being 
blown away in the wind. Prince Vincent
 collapsed and roared. He looked up at
 his Princess...now cold crystal . He wanted to die.

***

Darkness descended, and with it Vincent's
 mind...which retreated into the darkness
 of his own soul, leaving Beautiful, cold
 crystal Princess Catherine to stand her
 lonely vigil.

 Sir Elliot, who knew nothing of these events
, carried a tiny, wailing baby to the castle
 of the Black Knight, Gabriel. He was greeted
 by the strange hunchback, who smiled 
toothlessly and said, "Master will be pleased." 
 The gnarled man took the small squirming
 bundle away from Sir Elliot. "Follow me."

Sir Elliot followed a short distance from
 the hunchback, and soon he found himself
 before the gaunt-faced Sir Gabriel. 
The hunchback disappeared, carrying 
 the child with him. "A deformed child-
-a seed of evil, these stupid peasants will
 call him," Elliot said.

"Also some of your friends," Gabriel stated matter of factly.

Elliot shrugged. "Well, I look
 at it this way--I only have one 
handsome hide but I can still have
 lots of kids...and they'll probably
 not have claws. 

"I know," Gabriel said, eyes glittering
 with malice. The look in them made Sir
 Elliot cringe. Gabriel tossed Sir Elliot
 a bag filled with gold coins."Our
 transaction is finished, and you should 
know your way out by now." Gabriel turned
 to the fire, presenting his back to Sir Elliot.

=Dismissed!= Sir Elliot thought furiously.
 =He actually just...dismissed me!= 
 The angry thoughts buzzed furiously 
through Sir Elliot's mind, but after the 
last week of stress and worry, he was willing 
to let it go. Just so he didn't have to 
worry about that kid. All he wanted to
 do was get out of this castle...this 
nightmare...and get roaring drunk.

After Sir Elliot left the castle, he 
rode his horse over a ridge, and before
 him stood a crystal statue of Princess
 Catherine. The detail was incredible!
 "My God!" he exclaimed. "It almost 
looks alive! I MUST have this! 
 This should pacify her for losing
 the kid! She'll forget EVERYTHING 
when she sees this!"

Sir Elliot galloped his horse as fast
 as he could back to the castle and
 ordered a group of men to convey the 
statue to the kingdom's garden right 
outside beautiful Princess Catherine's 
window. =That should shut her up,= he
 thought with satisfaction as he ordered 
several of his bigger (not brighter) 
guards to the task.

When the guards finally reached the crystal
 Princess Catherine, they were also amazed
 and in awe. At first. Then they were VERY
 unhappy. The oldest of the guardsmen
 peered over his horse's head at it. 
 "God, it's life sized! If I haven't
 got a hernia from carrying all her fancy
 junk I will now."

"What are you complaining about," said
 another. "Let's just tie it up and
 drag it back behind a horse."

"And CHIP it? God's bones, you idiot!
 Sir Elliot would have our hides!" 
the older one answered. Sighing and 
with obvious resignation, he got off his
 horse. "Come on, you pea-brained dogs..
.let's get the dang thing back home...at
 least this one can't be as big a pain as 
the original."

Each one tried in vain to lift the
 crystal statue. "Well," the older
 guard said as he wiped sweat from 
his brow and gasped for breath. 
 "Looks are we ARE going to drag this thing back."

"I told you we shoulda got a wagon,
 " a skinny guard complained.

"You did NOT," another said. 

"Yep, I did I said...."

The old guard interrupted. "Will the
 both of you just SHUT-UP and help me tie 
this rope around Miss Monarch here?" Eventually
, after several tries, they managed to secure 
the rope around the crystal Princess. They backed
 off to survey their handiwork. "Not bad. 
 It should hold," the older one commented.

The smallest one grumbled. 
 "I shoulda stayed back at the 
castle and got drunk with Sir Elliot.
 Why should HE have all the fun?" 

"Cause he's a SIR, you dummy," the 
other one said, while whacking him on the
 head with the end of the rope.

"Don't call me a dummy!"

The older guard pulled out his
 sword and with the flat side
 hit both of the quarrelsome guards. 
 "Can't you two stop for five seconds?"

"Well he..." each pointing the finger at the other

"NO! STOP NOW!" the older guard yelled. 
 "I'm gonna get on my horse now and pull
 this monster over. I want you two to
 make sure its goes gently onto the ground 
so it don't break. You nitwits got that?" 

"Yes sir, " they said in unison. For
 the first time today they were in agreement.

Each of the guards braced themselves
 as the older guard got onto his horse
 and started the moving slowly forward.

 With the cystal Princess tilted
 halfway over, the rope holding the
 Princess came untied...and the statue 
fell to the ground to break in a 
hundred shattered pieces.

They all stood silent for a long moment,
 their mouths hanging open. 
 Then the bickering began again.

"Oh Lordy, Lordy...you done broke her."

"No you did".

"No, YOU tied the rope "

"YOU tied the end that came loose "

The older guard was in a state of shock.
 He tumbled limply off his horse and sat
 with his hands on his head peering at
 the shattered pieces. "He dropped her,"
 he muttered. "Oh Lordy...Sir Elliot 
is gonna kill us. First he's gonna skin us.
..then draw and quarter us. 
 Then burn the pieces."

"HE broke her--I didn't"

"OH SHUT THE HELL UP!" The old
 guard--whose name was Derek--screamed.
 "I'm thinking." =I'm thinkin'
 that maybe I imagined it.= He 
closed his eyes, squinching them
 shut as tight as he could, then
 opened them carefully. Nope. She
 was still in pieces. Derek picked up
 a small piece and tried to fit it
 together with another one, but they
 just wouldn't fit. "Well boys I done 
come up with a solution," he said, finally. 
 
"And what's that?"

"Well, boys...I got one thing to
 say. Knowin' my son, Elliot...I'd say RUN!
 He ain't gonna be none to pleased 
with ME, neither!"

After looking at each other for a minute,
 they all three jumped on their horses
 and rode away at a gallop, leaving
 behind a crystal-littered clearing.

If they'd stayed a few minutes
 more, they'd have seen a huge 
white vapor rise from the ground 
and the crystal and dissipate into the air.

***

"Sir Elliot!" Lord Maxwell's voice 
vibrated through Sir Elliot's whiskey
 soaked brain, bounced around in his
 head and settled. 

"Lord Maxwell, will you please talk
 softly ?" Sir Elliot murmured in pain.

"You're a pitiful excuse for an human
 being, and an inept one to be the kings surrogate."

"Huff." Sir Elliot said, shaking
 his head to clear it--then regretting
 the movement. =What was Lord
 Maxwell saying? Something about the king.= 

Lord Maxwell kept talking. "But I
 have more pressing problems right
 now than your ineptitude.. Where 
is the Beautiful Princess Catherine?"

Sir Elliot groaned and held his head. 
 "The beautiful Princess Catherine is
 probably in the East wing playing with
 her new clothes, or outside staring at
 her statue." 

"What are you babbling about?" Lord
 Maxwell asked. "There are no statues 
in the garden! And I already checked
 the east wing while you were passed out. 
 I called on my guards and yours to 
search the castle grounds. Remember.
..it's your head. Seems you'd be a bit
 more concerned about keeping it." Lord
 Maxwell gave Sir Elliot a sly, menacing smile.

Cold sober now, Sir Elliot looked 
up at Lord Maxwell. "I hate my life." 
 After Lord Maxwell left, Sir Elliot
 cried for his guard. "GUARD! GUARD?"

His loyal, weathered beaten guard came instantly. "Yes sir?"

"Are those guards I sent out back yet?"

"No Sir. Maybe they be out looking for 
the beautiful, ,cough vain, Princess Catherine."

Three days and two nights passed, and 
 Sir Elliot was beside himself. Beautiful
 Princess Catherine was gone, three guards
 ( including his father) and that neat statue
 were missing...everything gone like a puff 
of smoke. It didn't help any when Lord 
Maxwell appeared every so often singing, 
"I don't have nobody," causing Sir Elliot
to touch his own neck in panic--making sure
 it was still safe ,sound and untouched.

***


Days passed into weeks. There was still
 no word. Castle guards went out day after
 day, hour after hour, to find the Beautiful
 Princess Catherine and the wayward
 guards--only to come back empty-handed
 each time.

A tall, lean guard leaned over his horse
 to tell his friend, "I'm getting sick
 of this stupid horse. My butt hurts. 
 I bet the dear Beautiful Princess 
Catherine is shacked up somewhere."

His companion beside him stretched out
 his arms and groaned. "I'd bet a copper
 piece she's out buying a new chastity 
 belt with jeweled escape catch."

The tall, lean guard laughed. "Okay, 
you're on. A copper says she's shacked 
up with some lord or sir, or else she
 dropped dead when she broke her fingernail."

"That's too many choices...." his companion
 began, then whispered, "Hush! it's Lord 
hotsy-topsy himself...our second great Lord,
 Lord Maxwell."

Lord Maxwell approached, sitting stiff 
and straight on his saddle. The pure white horse 
pranced over to the guards. "You men
 have any luck?" he asked, looking around.

The guards also peered dutifully 
around."No Sir. We didn't see her."

"Well then," Lord Maxwell commented, 
"We'll have to go to plan B."

"Plan B ?" questioned one of the guards fearfully.

"Yes plan B! We ride into the closest
 hamlet and kill every peasant we see,
 but a few we'll torture the information
 out of." Lord Maxwell bellowed.

The guards looked at each other maybe
 it wasn't going to be a bad day after
 all. They had suggested that plan early
 on, but Sir Elliot refused. He didn't
 want too many peasants hurt, or else
 that would hurt their tax revenue.

Lord Maxwell was working himself into
 a frothing fury, screaming, "We will
 find the Princess or kill everything 
in our paths!"


The guards were impatient to get on
 their path of destruction and they 
followed Lord Maxwell to the castles
 drawbridge. But as soon as the drawbridge
 opened into the spacious brilliant
 daylight and then fanned out into the 
contrast of dark woods, uneasiness 
 filled their souls and clouded their minds
 . A strange silence filled the air
 which was only broken by an occasional,
 earsplitting caterwauling of pain.

The first time this happened, horses
 bolted every which way and chaos erupted 
among the men . Strong hearts failed,
 turning the powerful guards into 
frightened children. Sir Elliot
 burst into the middle of all this
 chaos. Grabbing Lord Maxwell by 
the cuff of his shirt, he pulled
 him to one side. "What's happening?" he yelled.

"Your men are cowards Sir Elliot," Lord
 Maxwell jeered. "They are children
afraid of the dark! God in heaven, how will
 I EVER find my beloved Beautiful 
Princess Catherine with these idots?" 

Another ear-splitting roar echoed through
 the trees. Sir Elliot didn't answer 
Lord Maxwell, for everyone knew that the 
elite guards were pulled away to accompany 
the King to his northern provinces. 
All that were left were the guards who
 were used as servants to the Beautiful
Princess Catherine, and most of them didn't
 particularly want her found. They were far
 more interested in who was going to win
 the bets going around as to where she'd
 finally turn up. 

However, Sir Elliot knew that
 the only person who might know 
where Beautiful Princess Catherine
 was, was the Black Knight, Prince 
Gabriel. Only half-listening to Lord 
Maxwell, Sir Elliot was busy thinking 


of ways to get the informaiton from
 old hatchet-faced Gabe, grab the 
Princess and bring her back--which 
would not only save his NECK, but
 would save Cat as well. 

Lord Maxwell was saying, "We need 
a hunter. When I was up north with 
the king, we heard about great hunter 
who has a quick mind and who is completely
 unafraid." He shouted loudly, "Guard!"
 but most of the guards merely ran past
 him in a panic until he finally stuck 
out his foot and tripped one. 
 The fallen guard peered up at Lord Maxwell
, then back to the ground as he pushed 
himself up. The guard reminded Lord Maxwell
 of a rodent, or a weasel. Shaking his 
finger at the guard, he told him, " I want
 you to get a message to the Lady Diana and
 tell her I need her immediately! Do you
 think you're capable of getting that 
message up north?"

The guard looked dazed, and Sir
 Elliot tried to think of anyone
 named Diana. "Lady Diana? 
 I don't think I know her." =She
 must be a real dog, if I haven't
 heard of her before now,= he thought. 

Lord Maxwell looked down his nose at him.
 "Lady Diana is in one of the northern
 provinces. I met her once on a trip
 with the King. The people of her country
 have the highest praise of her abilities."

Sir Elliot sneered. "A girl? You're sending for a GIRL?"

***

Sir Elliot was furious! Lord Maxwell
 thought a GIRL could out-do him! 
And his guards were chuckling as Lord
 Maxwell gave the selected guards their
 final instructions. With a grumble,
 Sir Elliot whirled his horse around and left.
 While heading to the castle of the Black 
Prince Gabriel, he passed the small clearing
 and looked around for the beautiful crystal
 statue of Beautiful Princess Catherine, he
 found only crystal fragments littering the
 ground. With a frown, Sir Elliot kicked at 
a small piece of crystal lying by his foot. 
 "That's it! When I capture those guards-
-and I will--I'm going to have them drawn
 and quartered and the pieces burned!" 
Then, Sir Elliot remembered that one of 
them was his father. He slowly shook his 
head . =Okay, I'll just draw and quarter
 HIM, but since he's my Dad, I'll just feed 
his dismembered body to the dogs and bury 
the leftovers later. Sir Elliot lelaned
 over, picked up a piece of crystal and stuck
 it in the pocket of his cloak. After all,
 Princess Catherine always loved anything
 that sparkled. He kept the piece because
 it reminded him of her...and after all, 
they'd had some good times. He smiled dreamily
 as he jumped back on his horse and 
continued his trip to the Black knight's 
 castle. 

When Sir Elliot arrived at the castle
, he didn't bother to stop to wait for
 the hunchbacked, toothless wonder of 
a little fat guy to lead him into the 
dark castle of the Dark Prince Gabriel 
.The tall lean vulture was standing in 
the same place by the fireplace...just
 as though he'd never moved since Sir
 Elliot had left. 

"Where is she? The lovely ,charming
 Beautiful Princess Catherine?" Sir
 Elliot demanded from the figure at the fire.

As the lanky skull like features of Gabriel
 turned toward him, the mouth moved and 
he asked, "Did I summon you here?"

Sir Elliot's courage was fading fast
. "Well, no. But listen...I'm sorta
 responsible for her safety. I can
 lose my head over this,and I want to 
keep it. I don't care about the kid.
..it's probably not mine anyway, but
 my head I care about!"

"Calm down, Sir Elliot!" Gabriel smiled thinly.
 "You're under my protection here. Plus, the
 Princess brightens up that small clearing."
 His smile widened evilly.

"Clearing?" Sir Elliot barked. "I just
 passed that clearing! There's nothing
 there but a lot of broken crystal from
 the statue of the Beautiful Princess." 
 His voice was tight and he felt frightened. 

But the Black knight began laughing a dry
 cold laugh. "Well, you see...it seems
 our beautiful Princess Catherine has 
gone to pieces."

"Pieces?" What are you...." a fire
 burned in Sir Elliot's head--a dawning-
-as he fished out the small piece of
 crystal he'd placed in his cloak. 
 He stared in mezmerized horror at the 
colors glistening and glinting in the 
lovely crystal and dropped it to the
 floor, not wanting to touch it any longer. 

Lord Gabriel chuckled. "It seems that
 our little vain Princess just can't keep 
it all together." Then another hideous 
laugh echoed through the room.

Overcome with emotion, Sir Elliot
 gripped his dagger and was about to
 pull it out when a chill overcame him, 
sending him into shivering convulsions. 

The Black knight Gabriel walked swiftly
 over to Sir Elliot and took hold of
 his hair and yanked his head up so
 he could stare into his eyes. "Get
 a grip! She isn't of any use anymore.
 She dead, and nothing can bring her back."

Sir Elliot felt his legs give way.

"Now," Gabriel asked cheerfully as 
he released his hold on Elliot's hair,
 "what's going on back at the castle?"

"Nothing!" Sir Elliot croaked hoarsely.
 "We...we were all out looking for a 
Princess." With a sadness he hadn't
 expected to feel, he bent to retrieve
 the crystal. Fascinated, he stared at
 it as he absently whispered, "Oh...and
Lord Maxwell sent word to find a certain
 lady Diana."

"Ah! Lady Diana! I'm impressed. 
The huntress! I'm very impressed
 that anyone was smart enough to call 
for her."

"She's just a woman," whimpered Sir
 Elliot, as he started to cry, then
 wail as he ran the crystal over his
 face. "Oh, my precious, precious one."

The black knight shook his head in 
disgust, drew his sword and promptly 
ran Sir Elliot though. Sir Elliot's
 eyes bulged as he stared at Gabriel
 in astonishment. Gabriel gently
 pushed Sir Elliot's shoulder and 
watched him crumple to the ground. 
Taking a handkerchief from his waistcoat,
 he muttered, "Hate to see good men 
 turning to mush after a woman." He 
peered down at Sir Elliot's crumpled figure,
 the crystal pressed into his cheek ,cupped
 in his hand.

***


The hunchback peered down at Sir Elliots
 body, kicked it to see if it would 
 move. "I see we have another for dog chow." 
 He grinned toothlessly at Lord Gabriel. 
 "Shall I feed him to your pit bulls, my
 sovereign?"

Lord Gabriel turned away and glared deep 
into the fire. "No, don't. Sir Elliot
 would be spoiled meat. I don't want my
 little ones to get sick. Just toss
 him down the well with the others."
 Turning back to the flames, Gabriel
 wondered if he ever get warm. 
 He could hear the hunchback dragging
 Sir Elliot's body out of his chamber. 
 Drifting in from distant breezes came 
the sounds of wailing . Gabriel smiled,
 thinking to himself that he SHOULD send
 someone out to check the traps, but the
 sad cries of a creature in pain calmed him. 

Meanwhile, only a forest away, the Kingdom
of Price Vincent's was an echoing nightmare of
 caterwauling, moaning and hysterical whimping.
 When Mary entered the Good King Jacob's
 throneroom, she yelled, "Good king Jacob!"
 but the good king just sat there, totally 
oblivious to her. Mouse stood near the king 
with huge cottonballs stuffed in his large
 ears. "GOOD KING!" Mary screamed again over
 the whimping wailing that was coming from 
Prince Vincent's chambers. By jumping up and
 down and waving her arms around, she was
 finally seen by the good king.

He said something to her, but
 she could only see his mouth move...
 the words were swallowed up by
 Vincent's lamintations. Good King 
Jacob motioned to Mary to stop as he
 grabbed cottonballs from his own ears.
 "I can't stand this anymore," he screamed.
 "Why is it that when he finally 
falls in love, I had to pay for it? 
 I tried to talk to Prince Vincent,
 even ordered him to stop...but..." 
 He threw his arms up into the air.

Leaning closer to the Good King to
 scream into his ear, Mary told him
, "While I'm sorry that Princess 
Catherine didn't come back, we...I mean 
YOU have more pressing problems! The good 
citizens who love Prince Vincent have
 had enough! They want to leave the
 kingdom in order to find a quieter
 place to live."
 
That was the last straw for the Good 
King. He jumped out of his throne, 
and taking his cane in hand, he marched
 straight down the tunnel to Prince
 Vincent's room, pausing only once 
to place the cottonballs back into 
his ears. Upon entering Prince Vincent's
 chamber, he saw that papers were
 throw on the floor, the bedding
 was ripped to pieces, and Prince 
Vincent was lying in the middle 
of the mess, his head bowed to the
 floor. He was moaning. 
The Good King walked over to his son. 
 "Vincent?" he called loudly. 
 When Prince Vincent ignored 
 the Good King because he couldn't
 hear him over his own loud moaning, 
the Good King grabbed him by his shoulder. 

Prince Vincent stared up at his father
 through mist-blurred eyes. "Father, 
I have lost my life and my beloved."

King Jacob grabbed Prince Vincent by
 his ear and pulled him up to his feet
. "Do you know that most of the good
 citizens of our kingdom, including
 myself, are very close to becoming
 deaf or running away because of this
 nonsense? I'm sorry she didn't
 come back, but it's been four days now, 
 and I've had ENOUGH! I hate to do 
this to you, son but for the good of
 my kingdom, you're going to have to leave
 if you don't stop this...and stop it NOW! 

Prince Vincent sniffled and gingerly 
took out a quarter-sized piece of crystal
 that he had found stuck to his clothing.
 It had to be something of Princess 
Catherine that had fallen off during her
 transformation. Holding it up, he forlornly
 examined the piece of his love--or maybe
 a piece of her dress, or her shoe. Or was
 it a clasp from her cloak? 

King Jacob snatched the piece of crystal from Prince Vincent's hand. 

"She's gone forever," Prince Vincent sniffled
 as he watched his father hold a piece of his beloved. 

"Oh , she'll be back," the King said. "I can't see 
that one leaving a diamond behind...she took everything-
- including all the silverware--when she was here last
 time. I'm still eating with my fingers." Shaking his
 head slowly, Good King Jacob went to hand the crystal
 back to Prince Vincent--but it slipped from his hand
 and shattered on the floor. Vincent howled loudly
 and Good King Jacob stepped away in surprise,
 only to have Prince Vincent run insanely past
 him into the darkness--still howling.

Prince Vincent now held on sparkling
 powder in his hand .Instinct alone 
was leading him back to the crystal 
statue of the Beautiful Princess
 Catherine just to try to figure out
 which part of her fell off--and hoping
 it was a part she didn't need.

***

Prince Vincent was a sight--his fur matted, clothes
 torn. What he saw when he reached the 
clearing broke his heart--for there on the
 ground, scattered in thousands of 
glittering pieces was his Beautiful Princess 
Catherine. Over there and there and over
 there. Prince Vincent sank down to the ground 
as he mournfully picked up the shattered pieces of
 his love and stacked them into a large pile.
 His mist covered eyes searched the immediate
 area for the small remaining pieces of his
 beloved. Tears flowed freely down his face.
 He clawed at the soft ground in front of
 him slashing with his claws--viciously ripping
 into the earth until a good size hole was
 made, into which he delicately placed fragments
 of his Beautiful shattered Princess Catherine
 and after a few seconds he tenderly covered
 her. Prince Vincent threw himself upon 
the mound of dirt which covered his beloved
 and moaned. A silent witness to the prince's
 grief was Mouse's raccoon, who sat on
 a broken tree stump, busily playing 
with a glittering piece of the Princess 
with his furry little paws, tossing 
it high up and catching it when 
it came down. 

A fortnight had come and gone. 
 Lord Maxwell was going mad over
 everything that had taken place: 
 Beautiful Princess Catherine,
 a dead baby, three guards, and
 at last report Sir Elliot had 
not yet returned from his little
 excursion. Princess Catherine and
 Sir Elliot were two people who were 
too self centered and accustomed to 
the good life to disappear deliberately,
 and as for the three guards he could
 really care less about them. They
 didn't matter. In the long run,
 subordinates never did. He knew that
 most of the guards were talking behind
 his back since he sent for the huntress,
 but they were also scared each day and
 night as the sounds of inhuman cries 
filled the air. Currents of fear tingled
 in every nerve cell in their bodies, 
including Lord Maxwell's. To face men
 in battle was one thing, but to face
 the unknown--a demon--was another.
 In reality Lord Maxwell could neglect
 the citizens' and guards' pettiness.
 Sir Elliot was reckless about keeping
 his head attached to his shoulders, 
but Lord Maxwell wasn't. =Thank God 
the king had sent word that he was 
spending at least a year in the northern
 provinces with his new wife, the 
Princess Robin. He didn't mention his 
daughter, the Princess Catherine once.

***


Time passed and there was still no real
 news of anything at all. Their only 
hope was the Lady Diana. Each expedition
 sent out met with nothing. No Catherine,
 no guards. It was discouraging. 
 Days and nights tended to blend in together. 
 Only Lord Maxwell could see the light-
-she was coming, the Lady Diana. 
 He was surprised to find himself missing
 that rat, Sir Elliot--who you couldn't
 trust as far as you could throw, the bastard-
-but at least he'd been someone Lord Maxwell
 could have talked to about the situation. 
 Right now, he couldn't trust anyone. 
 At least with Sir Elliot, he'd known what
 ratpack he was in. 

Just outside the kingdom in a
 little village, one of Gabriel's
 henchman was posing as the Black Knight
 Gabriel. A lure for a huntress. 
 The false black knight saw a horse 
approaching, ridden by a tall, thin woman.
 She stood before him on her horse, 
unafraid...her fiery hair flowing free
 in the breeze, a blue line painted across
 her forehead. He watched her in admiration.
 "Well what do we have here? Money?
 No, you look poor enough...no gold,
 no jewels...but you have the most enchanting
 eyes. I shall take YOU, my beauty!"

The Lady Diana simply smiled at the false
 black knight. "Then you're out of luck,"
 she told him, her tone showing her contempt
 at the statement. The Lady Diana slid 
off her horse and faced him. The peasants
 ran for cover as she smiled calmly and 
coolly. The knight took a step toward
 her, and she moved slightly off to the 
side...the knight followed, and stepped 
into a small snake hole. Just as Diana 
had known he would do. She kicked out,
 connecting with his midriff, knocking
 him over. She knew from experience that
 a knight's armor would make it impossible 
to get up by himself once he was down. 
 She leaned over the fallen knight and 
told him in a silken voice, "I'm sorry,
 but I'm only a girl and can't help you up." 
 Proud and defiant, the Lady Diana mounted
 her horse again and rode over to the
 knight, who was still struggling to
right himself. "Don't worry, my lord,
 no one has bested me yet. You aren't
 the first to lie at my feet." Deep currents
 ran through her statement--promises of 
what would happen if there were man or 
beast strong enough to defeat her. 

Wailing animal cries echoed though
 the forest, but Lady Diana had no
 time to investigate. She had been
 summoned to do a job and she would
 not turn from that until it was done. 
 Diana raised her bow high up into the
 air in a gesture of triumph, and as
 she did, she saw a movement on the 
distant hill--another knight...and 
instinctively she knew it was the REAL
 Black Knight Gabriel--mimicked her
 gesture. The small handful of peasants
 that the black knight or the kings men
 hadn't killed, came forward, clapping
 and cheering. She rode past them on
 her way to the great castle to meet
 with the Lord Maxwell.

As Lady Diana approached the castle,
 the guards lowered the drawbridge 
and Lord Maxwell came out to meet her.
 "Lady Diana, my pleasure." Lord Maxwell
 bowed and extended his hand to help Diana 
down, but she ignored him and jumped from 
her horse.

"Lord Maxwell." It was more like a statement
 then a greeting her tone was cold as ice.
"Shouldn't we discuss the business at hand?"

The Lord Maxwell, more accustomed to 
women like Princess Catherine was a bit
 unsure how to handle this amazing 
creature with her direct blue-eyed gaze
 and sense of power. It made him feel
 awkward...but he tried to compliment her. 
 "If you would follow me this way, lovely
 creature of the forest, I will tell 
you of our plight." He offered her
 his arm, but the Lady Diana ignored 
it, looking straight into his eyes...
then she entered the castle throneroom
 ahead of him. Lord Maxwell followed,
 feeling a bit foolish and wondering if
 it was worth the effort to try to woo
 and bed her. But as she turned back
 to him, the light struck her and his 
mouth went dry. His mind screamed...
=Yes...oh, yes. It was worth it.="

***


 "So what do you want from me,
 Lord Maxwell?" Her voice was
 calm and professional, without
 a trace of coquettery.

"In a word, we need your abilities to find someone."

"And who am I to find? I'm not here to
 play a question and answer game."

"The beautiful Princess Catherine and Sir Elliot," he told her.

She smiled. "I know Sir Elliot. He kept
 drooling on me and calling me his ' wood
 fairy'. I don't much care for men who
 drool. Why would you possibly want to
 find him?" She looked at Lord Maxwell
 as if he were mad.

Feeling defensive, Lord Maxwell told her, 
"I have no choice in that matter. He is
 the king's accountant and loyal friend." 
 He almost choked over the "loyal friend" bit.

"Well," she quizzed, "what about this
 Princess Catherine? Can I see her room.?" 

"Sure," Lord Maxwell said, blushing
 a little. "But it's all of the east wing.
 The last seven rooms are filled with
 her clothes and stuff." 

Diana slowly inclined her head as Lord Maxwell
 held out his arm to escort her up the stairs.
 She disregard his arm and in one swift motion
 turned to the staircase with Lord Maxwell
 advancing straight behind her. He cautiously 
judged each word he was going to say, trying 
to paint himself in the best light and unattached 
to this bewitching lady. "My Lady, Princess 
Catherine was a beautiful Princess of this kingdom.
 She was a true woman...she cared for her looks
 and the pleasure of men who took care of her."


Lady Diana gave no indication of listening
 to him as Lord Maxwell continued. "We had
 just come back from France. She was in high
 spirits and she had received a lot of presents
 from her many admirers..." He stopped short,
 his attention drawn to the work of art in front
 of him--the wispy figure of the Lady secure
 In her quiet solitude of her intellectual mind.

Lady Diana was beginning to get a picture
 of the Princess Catherine, and she knew 
that this so-called Princess wouldn't run
 unless it was into the arms of another caregiver. 
 There was no ransom note or else this stuffed
 peacock would have mentioned it, and since
 he sent for her she already knew that the
 so called Beautiful Narcissistic Princess 
hadn't been found. There was only one other 
possibility: she was dead. Lady Diana stopped
 abruptly, which caused Lord Maxwell to
 accidentally brush against her--something
 he took full advantage of. A dagger 
was in her hand before he could breathe. 
 They faced each other eye to eye until he
 lowered his eyes and moved away from her. 

Lord Maxwell had never felt so powerless.
 He rather liked the feeling...having 
some of the burden of responsibility and 
decision taken off his shoulders. 
 He waved his hand toward the eastwing. 
"I shall take my leave of you, my beautiful, 
ferocious mistress. I'll wait for you down
 the stairs. I'll be the one wearing the dog collar 
." His eyes sparkled with the thoughts of this amazon woman. 

Diana watched in amusement as Lord Maxwell
 ran down the steps, taking two at a time. 
=Men are strange creatures,= she thought
 to herself as she proceeded to the 
eastwing and Princess Catherine's rooms.

It was easy to find Princess Catherine's room. 
 Mirrors gilded the walls, the room boasted an
 elegant canopy bed and golden table. Diana 
eased her way over towards the table. 
 Everything was clean and fresh. 
Lady Diana touched the table gently 
with her fingertips after putting her 
knife down onto its golden surface. 
 But nothing came to her...no impressions.
 Slowly she pulled herself away, gathering
 up her knife and placing it back in her belt .
 After a further search that yielded nothing
 in the bedroom, Lady Diana proceeded to the 
smaller adjacent room, only to be greeted by
 a large golden table with every square inch
 of table space covered with makeup and bottles
,a large velvet chair which was pushed delicately
 in as if awaiting its mistress' return. =Nothing 
but vanity,= Lady Diana thought, shaking her head
 in total astonishment. Lady Diana closed her
 eyes and waited until something briefly 
tugged at her mind. Following her intuition,
 she found a small room down the corridor, 
three doors down from Princess Catherine's room.
 This doorway led her to a pile of letters 
in the middle of the floor. Each letter bore
 the seal of a cat. Some were opened, while
 others remained with their seals intact. 
 Diana picked up one of the closest letters
 to her, and then another and another,
 scanning the lines. Each one started out
 the same way: "To my Beloved." 
 Sonnets and poetry--all love letters..
.elegantly written...each ending with,
 "My Beloved, you hold my happiness and my
 life within your two delicate hands, and I
 swear my life and loyalty to you yours,
 Prince Vincent." This was one name Lady
 Diana hadn't heard. She spent most of that
 day and evening reading Prince Vincent's
 words to Princess Catherine. 

The Lady Diana became lost in the words. 
 Whereas Princess Catherine had seen them
 only as pleas of how Prince Vincent would 
love and protect her, Lady Diana saw them
 as a man pouring out his soul to a no-good
 little brat who didn't deserve the love he
 was sending to her through his words. The
 letters touched Lady Diana's heart--which
 made her extremely uncomfortable. The emotion
 penetrated the barriers Lady Diana had built
 so carefully through the years. She read one
 letter after another, and after reading all 
of them, she leaned back, closed her eyes and
 tried to picture the Prince that could have
 sent such sweet words of love...but no form
 came to mind. She knew that for some reason
 Princess Catherine had gone to Prince Vincent
--but she always returned to her own life
 without him. Perhaps she felt she was
 needed by her own people...from what she
 knew about Princess Catherine, she knew Prince
 Vincent must be rich, elegant and a protector.
 And he must be nearby. 

As the Lady Diana sat, lost in her
 thoughts, a small noise behind her
 alerted her to someone's presence. 
 She turned, and a small, tearful woman
 greeted her. "My Lady, Lord Maxwell
 would like you to join him."she bowed her head.

"Thank you," Lady Diana answered. "Did you know Princess Catherine?"

"Yes my lady. I was her personal servant." A tear fell from her eye.

"What can you tell me about Prince Vincent?" Diana asked.

"I don't know," she whispered, bending her head.

"I'm not here to hurt your precious
 Princess. I'm here to find her. Can 
you at least tell me which way she 
traveled when she left the castle?"

The maidservant didn't look back up but
 kept her eyes on the floor."West, my Lady."

Lady Diana followed the maidservant 
down to dinner, where a strange spectacle
 presented itself. The dining hall was
 clear except for Lord Maxwell--wearing 
rags and a dog's collar, heavy manacles
 bound his wrists. Lady Diana tried to
 keep from laughing at the rather ridiculous
 bid for attention. 

'"My lady," Lord Maxwell cried, prostrating
 himself before her. He looked up at
 her hungrily. "The meal is undone...
 for that I must be punished." he hung his head
 low. "I don't deserve such a beautiful woman 
to grace my presence."

Diana calmly shook her head.
 "Get up! I don't have time for this!" 
 She gripped Lord Maxwell's hair and pulled
 him to his feet. "Is anyone normal in this land?"

He stared at her in ecstacy and she
 sighed. "Lord Maxwell, I'm not that
 hungry. I think I can find your Princess,
 but I have to go now." She struggled to keep 
the amusement from her voice. 

"But...my mistress! I am your slave to do with what you will!"

She backed away, holding her hands up to
 fend him off. "I REALLY have to go, and
 one day I may have to beat you...but not
 now. Okay? I can only think of getting 
your Princess back." 

He hung his head. "Be careful. Evil is out
 there. I shall have my guards accompany you."

"No! No...that's not necessary. Really"
 she told him as she continued backing away.
 What ever she faced out there was probably
 less crazy then it was in here.

Lord Maxwell's eyes followed her in adoration.
 Lady Diana slowly walked out of the dining room. 
 She couldn't wait to face the cool, rational night. 
 Just then, horrible wails came from outside the
 castle walls. Lady Diana took a deep breath,
 pulled herself straight as one of her arrows
 and walked out to the stable. Her only job was
 to find the Princess and nothing was going to stop her .


 End of part one-next week part two will come out.The characters belong to their creater
But the story belongs to me.....Diana Garcia

Part two-Fractured fairytale -Beauty and the Beast. Lady Diana was grateful to leave the confines of the castle,for as the Drawbridge closed behind her,fresh clean air greeted her..along with The ever-increasing sounds of a wounded animal in the distance.Her Horse became more and more skittish as she drew closer to the sound By the time she reached the edge of the forest,the animal's cries were Deafening,and the horse was getting difficult to control.the rest of the forest was silent;not even a bird chirped. Lady Diana knew that if she came across the pitiful animal,she had two Choices-either to mend the poor thing or to shoot it with one of her Arrows,ending its painful existence. The animal's cries had diminished To moans.Lady Diana continued toward the sound,until suddenly a loud, Piercing scream tore through the forest,sending her horse into a Panic-almost throwing her to the ground. Since Lady Diana was a skilled rider, she was able to bring the horse Under control."Easy...easy." she cooed to the mare.Sliding off her Nervous mount,Lady Diana gently rubbed the horse's nose,and removed her bridle to set her free.She knew that the poor animal was terrified,but it irked her to lose this mare-she was the best she'd ever had.Diana released her,watching as the horse snorted, lifted her tail and bolted back the way they'd come.Now on foot,her bow and knife at her side,she continued her quest. The forest thinned to a clearing and in the center of this clearing was a powerful figure-man or animal,she wasn't certain-lying on the ground. Diana's keen mind clicked as she examined the sight before her.The man/animal seemed to sense her approach and lift his head.The hair was a matted golden mane..but it was the face that astounded her-a cross between lion and man,with the most incredible blue eyes she'd ever seen. Through she recognized the power and possibility of danger in approaching the creature,there was no fear in her,for she could see kindness ,nobility and pain etched into the face..she knew who it must be, and that he wouldn't harm her. As she approached,she noted that the tattered,torn clothing was at one time quite splendid."Prince Vincent?" Lady Diana asked gently as she cautiously approached. Prince Vincent slowly turned towards the lovely voice that called to him.Out of his pain and fever he saw a wood nymph-beautiful, long red hair flowing freely,tall,proud, and blue eyed..a mark of the sky itself blazed on her forehead.Prince Vincent tried to stand,and watched with amazement as the lovely vision floated towards him.Only in his father's stories had he heard of the beautiful creatures that haunted these woods.He could feel darkness overcoming him as his vision touched him. Lady Diana was amazed at the size of the man as Prince Vincent dropped his feveredhead to her shoulder.She tried to support him,but he was simply too heavy,and his massive frame sent them both to the ground.Prince Vincent fell on top of Lady Diana..her long,lithe legs wrapped around him.Her thoughts turned towards her ancient mother,who wanted her only daughter married and happy.Diana gasped in a fit of humor, ''Mom,you got your wish-I'm gonna die with a man between my legs''She knew she was going to suffocate,he was so heavy.."Umph.."She began to wriggle beneath Prince Vincent as she tried to free herself.She grasped his lolling head between her hands and shook him. "Vincent!Prince Vincent!"Slowly,his blue eyes opened."You can..ugh.get off of me any time now."she gasped. Prince Vincent managed to lift himself to where he was stradding her.His eyes showed a spark of intelligence. Grabbing both of her small wrists in his massive hand,he drew them over her head. "You're a wood nymph! Grant me one thing and I shall let you go back into your forest." His words were still slurred and a bit weak.Diana stared up at him,her mind whirling.She knew he was delirious with fever,and with his strengh,she couldn't very well fight him off.With a smile,she let her body go limp beneath him. "You got me,Prince Vincent.What is your wish?" Perplexed,Prince Vincent asked,"You know me, wood nymph? Of course you do." Diana could see the faraway look in the Prince's eye as he gently eased his hand away from her, releasing her hands.But he still remained straddling her.With her hands free,Lady Diana searched the ground beside her,and finding a palm-sized rock,she gripped it. She hesitated a long moment..she really didn't want to hurt the Prince,but he wouldn't get off her! Staring down into her beautiful face,he told her fiercely,"I shall never let you go until my wish is granted.I want the beautiful Lady Catherine back." Diana stiffened at his words"Where is she?" she asked. "They have destoryed her-my life." He peered painfully down at his captured wood nymph and passed out,falling sideways onto her. "Oh,just great."Lady Diana moaned. Lady Diana struggled once more to free herself of Prince Vincent's crushing weight.Finally, she wriggled her way out from under him,and turning herself over,she pushed herself off the ground.Arrows from her quiver had pinched into her back,she tossed them to the ground. Going over to Prince Vincent,she pushed and pulled until he rolled over. His clawed hand grasped at Lady Diana,gripping her arm tightly."I can't let you go free."he moaned. Diana pulled and pulled at her arm,trying to free herself from his grasp.When she couldn't,she looked around for a rock she'd dropped earlier..found it and picked it up.Gazing tenderly at Prince Vincent she said sadly."This is more for your benefit than mine." She hauled off and knocked Prince Vincent upside his head with her rock..again. Prince Vincent groaned once and managed to say."You hit me." Then he passed out.As he released her,Diana leaped to her feet and whistled for her horse.As she waited for her horse to respond,she took Prince Vincent's tattered cloak from around his neck,and taking off his cowl,she pushed it away from his neck.Grabbing an arrow Diana stuck it though the cowl at its neckline. Now the Prince was lying on his cloak, and the arrow provided a brace to tie her rope to. Diana's horse whinned as she approached. Diana was sweating with exertion by the time she caught the horse and took the rope from her saddle horn.Her blue face paint was running in her eyes,and she wiped it away. "Damn!" She tied one end of the rope to the arrow snagged in Prince Vincent's cloak,then wrapped more around the cowling just to be sure, then tied the other end to her saddle. She then eased the horse forward, dragging the unconscious Prince Vincent behind. Lady Diana remembered passing a small, burned down hamlet a couple of miles back and towards the east.Evening was descending and gold,red and blue light filtered through the beautiful crisp foliage of the trees.the blanket of night had just fallen by the time she dragged the Prince into the small burned down hamlet.Only fragments of huts stood where once a proud,thriving hamlet once stood.Diana walked her horse over to one of the less destroyed buildings and stopping out front,untied the rope and set her horse free with a slap to its rump.The horse galloped off in search of food and water. Lady Diana,sore and tired,stumbled back towards Prince Vincent.Dropping down on her knees,she untied Vincents cowl,which was now almost over his mane.Lady Diana tugged and pulled with all her strength trying to get the cloak off of Prince Vincent.She rolled him over and over till she got the cloak off him at last.==Now to wake him up enough to get him into the hut!=she thought. Pulling a small flask of water from her belt,she knelt beside the fallen prince. for the first time,she took the time to study him.She delicately stroked his golden mane away stared the first time intently into his face.=He's actually quite beautiful in his own way,=she thought.Lady Diana gently ran her finger across his lips and down the sides of his cheek.For the first time in her life,she dared to care.He looked like a fairytale dream and at times,she found herself afraid that if she closed her eyes he would disappear back into her imagination. Prince Vincent started to awake and Diana pushed herself away from him.How odd it felt for her to shy away from anything..let alone a man.His eyes opened,wavered a moment,then focused."Wood nymph," he said,pointing to her. "No,"she said quietly."I'm Lady Diana, from the Northern provinces.I'm here to find your Princess Catherine." Diana swallowed her feeling for this man/beast.She had read his words of love to his Princess.It didn't matter that he was more man than anyone she'd ever met in her life..he wasn't her man.She edged towards him hestantly lifted his head and placed it onto her lap.Tenderly Diana lifted up the water flask for Prince Vincent to drink.After a mouthful,Prince Vincent looked up into her eyes.. "Thank you,my lady."he said with a bit more coherence."My poor,beautiful Princess Catherine's..." tears rolled down his face. Diana didn't feel like really listening to all this self centered whinning.The stupid bitch wasn't worth it.She pushed his head off her,and his head hit the ground. "Ouch...!" Diana grabbed Prince Vincent's muscular arm and tried to help him up.=Like most men=she mused.=I end up doing most of the work.=With a little help from the half-conscious prince .Lady Diana managed to get him into the interior of the small hut. Bracing him with her right leg,she eased him gradually down onto the warm earth of the hut's floor.A quick scan of the surroundings told her that only a small,ugly table and crooked chair had survived the bittered fighting that had taken place only a month earlier while the hamlet had been under attack by the Black Knight.Although bitterly tired,Lady Diana urged her body into motion.The first thing was a warm fire..something to keep the Prince warm and alive.The first was no problem. Diana made a small circle on the flooring with rocks and then small twigs but it did take her a bit longer to get the fire going,as she had to go outside to gather wood. By the time the fire was going,Prince Vincent was sleeping..and making a soft,contented purring sound=Well,= she mused.=At least someone is going to sleep tonight=Settling herself beside him.Lady Diana watched over him ...guarding him. The Prince slept peacefully..seemingly without dreams,and she wondered if he'd slept at all since losing his princess.However,the more "contented" the prince seemed to become,the louder his snoring became.Lady Diana was having trouble hearing the outside noises.=This won't do,=she thought with irritation.She moved to the threshold of the hut so she could watch for any approach,and yet still tend her sleeping patient. When Prince Vincent woke,his fever had broken-but a dream remained behind of a beautiful wood nymph who saved him by knocking him unconscious.As he took in his surroundings,realization dawned on him as he stotted the beautiful wood nymph from his dream. Prince Vincent closed his eyes and gently touched the side of his head where she'd struck him.=No dream=he thought.=That HURTS= He turned his gaze again toward the front of the hut-only to find the wood nymph gone. Prince Vincent sat up slowly.His head was still swimming.As his eyes focused ,the wood nymph reappeared.Their eyes met and locked.Her cool gaze seemed to pierce though his very soul. After a moment of silence,she walked over,thrust a small handful of berries into his hands,and said."Here." Then she sat, crosslegged,before him. Prince Vincent watched her through half-closed eyes as he ate the berries. She didn't speak,but watched every movement he made.Finally Prince Vincent realized she was waiting for him to speak. Bracing himself agains't the pain from his head,he asked,"So you are the Lady Diana from the Northern provinces and you're here to find my love,the beautiful Princess Catherine?" "Yes," she answered solemnly. Prince Vincent found himself speaking freely to this enchanting creature before him.He'd never felt such a easy kinship to anyone before.She showed no fear of him and the look in her eyes was one of intelligence and a strange,exciting power that tingled through him whenever he made contact with those incredible eyes. Lady Diana listened for hours upon hours and was about ready to hang herself from the nearest tree.She felt as if her smile was becoming very stiff.=Ye gods but I'm tired of the Beautiful,Adorable,Magnificent Princess Catherine.=But, he seemed to be on a roll,so she let him talk .At last he spoke about the Beautiful Princess being turned into a crystal statue and somehow along the way getting broken,and some of her parts missing..and he broke down crying. =Oh,well=Lady Diana thought with relief. =so she croaked.The greatest tragedy of the century.=She shrugged as she patted Prince Vincent's shoulder and gave him a small smile.Immediately,Prince Vincent grabbed Lady Diana into a huge bear hug and cried all over her shoulder. Prince Vincent was overcome with emotion as he held tightly to his little woodland nymph. =How strong,soft and warm she is,=he thought. Lady Diana wasn't quite sure how to react.This was something of a frist for her,the first time someone had grabbed her and held on for dear life.It would've been really nice,but she knew all those tears were for the dead princess,and they sickened her a bit.=Such emotion over a used princess!= Eventually,the prince released the Lady Diana.She patted him gently on his back and handed him a tissue to blow his nose.She wanted to help him get over the Princess Catherine ,but her heart told her that she should move on-there would be nothing but pain if she stayed to be with him.Her job was over-she'd found out what happened with the vain,foolish Princess.Slowly, regretfully,she walked outside the hut and whistled for her horse.She could sense Prince Vincent behind her..his soul invading the corners of her mind..a vast feeling of love and warmth. She wondered briefly if he could feel hers as she could feel him.But the thought was only wishful thinking.She had nursed him to health and let him cry out all the pain he carried over Catherine's breakage.His need for her was over,just as her job was.Slowly,she mounted her horse as Prince Vincent emerged from the hut. "You have to leave my Lady?" he asked "I cannot thank you enough for bringing me back from the abyss."His eyes were sad..this time at the thought of her leaving. Before she could change her mind, Diana spurred her horse on.She'd had a job to do and now it was finished,the only thing left to do was to report to the odd Lord Maxwell. While Diana was nursing Prince Vincent, the Black knight Gabriel called a meeting for his second-a dark overseer of the damned.This man had the face of a vulture and the small cold eyes of a rodent.There was an aura of evil around him."You called me ,my Lord and Master?"he asked as he bowed slightly. "I have a job for you."Lord Gabriel told him."The Lady Diana searches for the Princess Catherine.I have been told she has arrived and is most likely in the company of Prince Vincent.To secure the child for myself,I must have them both killed." "Your wish is my command." The overseer responded in a low,ugly voice as he turned to go. "Not so fast,fool!" Gabriel growled. "I do not wish to find you flat on your back like the last time you two met."Gabriel pointed his long bone-like finger towards his second's face."I want you to find the Lady Diana and bring her back to me ALIVE." "my Lord,she is only a woman-easliy killed.Last time was simply bad luck."he protested. "Lady Diana is a very intelligent woman-that's what makes her so dangerous.Now,go and bring her back.I have use of her..but after her deed is done..then and only then can you kill her,not before. ""urning back to his raging fire,Gabriel warmed his hands. The overseer stuck out his tongue at Lord Gabriel's back and grumbled under his breath as he left the room. As Prince Vincent found his way home,the good citizens of his realm were notified of his approach and each ran in different directions trying to locate their old cottonballs to stuff in their ears-just encase he decided to howl again.The Prince found himself surrounded by the citizens of his realm, who were all intently watching his mouth so they could read his lips.Eventually,they realized he wasn't going to start howling again,so they pulled the cottonballs out and cheered their Prince.Prince Vincent made his way to his good father's throneroom. The Good King Jacob looked up from his throne and hesitied for a moment, readying himself for Price Vincent's outbursts.When none came,he relaxed the death grip he had on the arms of his throne."Son! You've came back to us.Are you....better?"he asked gently, trying not to upset his son. "Yes,father,I am.I have met a woman from the North." The Good King was dismayed."A.. .a woman?"+Oh,gods..not another one!=he thought. "Yes." Prince Vincent continued without noticing his father's comment. "She's is intelligent and resourceful. She was sent to find my Princess Catherine...but alas,there's nothing she can do to save her now.However, there's something very special about this woman.She has saved my life." For the first time,King Jacob saw a sparkle in his son's eye and he knew that the worst was over. Mouse stood quietly by the King's chair until the king motioned for Mouse to come closer to him.With vast relief,he whispered to the boy."Tell our good people that their Prince is back..and they can toss away their cottonballs and retrieve their families from the high country." Meanwhile,back at the castle,Lady Diana was meeting with Lord Maxwell in the company of two guards.She was relieved to see the two guards,as Lord Maxwell almost seemed sane when others were around.Lord Maxwell seemed more or less to be sane at the moment.He greeted her with a bow as he thought of how he was going to tell the King of his daughter's demise."Lady Diana," he told her,"since you are known throughout many lands as an honorable huntress,I know that you tell the truth.I know that your duty to me is conclued,but since this development.I would appreciate it if you would find the assassins of Princess Catherine and whatever parts are missing so that she can be properly buried-or at least glued back together for a garden statue.She would have loved that."he said, and at that thought,he wept. Lady Diana looked Lord Maxwell straight in his eyes."I will do as you ask,Lord Maxwell..but with two provisions.The first is that I have my own place outside the castle walls.And second,when I have news I will come to you.You are not to come to me.If you agree to my terms,I will in time fulfill your request." Lord Maxwell nodded his head in agreement to her terms.Lady Diana turned and walked out without waiting to be dismissed.Her mind was on finding a small hamlet to take up residence in.She stopped by the king's stable and retrieved her horse,glad that she hadn't lost her permanently due to Prince Vincent's howling.She would've been hard to replace. Lady Diana spent almost the whole day on horseback,riding from one tiny hamlet to another.Still she found herself drawn to the burned out hamlet where she nursed PrinceVincent,but she still had one more hamlet to check out..the one where the fake black knight accosted her.As she rode into the hamlet,she was greeted by an old hag with snaggly teeth.Lady Diana slid off her horse. "Ha."the old hag croaked."The lady who bested the black knight!We welcome you to our home."the old hag shook her bony fingue at her."I only wish that I'd known you would best him-I would have made a lot of money on you ,young lady." Lady Diana smiled,amused by the hag."So,old mother..is there any lodging around here?"She tossed the old hag a coin from her pocket. "Well lets see."the old hag muttered as she peered toward the huts.She pointed at one."That one-he died last week of terminal iron poisoning.Someone ran him though with a sword.Caused quite a mess in there." Diana glanced at the flies which still blanketed the hut."Er..no I'll think I'll pass on that one." As the old hag moved,Lady Diana caught a glimpse of a single pearl aoround her neck.There was no way this simple peasant could own a ring let alone a fine pearl.That only meant one thing-that she must have run into Princess Catherine.And knowing Princess Catherine from her reputation.Lady Diana doubted she'd give the old hag the time of day...let alone one of her pearls! She narrowed her eyes, considering. Tact might be best here.Her job was now finding the killer or killers...not the less fortunate members of the kingdom who may have taken advantage of the Princess at some time.Or not.Maybe later she'd question the old woman on how she came into possession of such a fine pearl. The old hag touched Diana's forearm to get her attention."How about that one over younder?" "Anyone die of iron poisoning in there?"Lady Diana asked "Nope.Bashed over the head with a club.It's a bit cleaner."She whistled though aged gums and grinned a gummy smile. Just then,the back of Lady Diana's neck tingled.Grabbing the old hag, she told her "Listen,I want you to warn of the others and stay in your huts.Something evil comes." The old hag gasped as she stared up at Diana,noting the smeared blue line."Ah!A Northern seer!"Immediately ,she ran towards the rest of the huts,yelling as she went."Get into your huts!Danger!" Skinny,half starved peasants ran this way and that.None dared to stop to question the old hag.Lady Diana grabbed her bow and arrows and planting herself in the middle of the hamlet she waited.

Fairytale 3





Lady Diana didn't have long to wait before danger made itself
Apparent.The sound and vibrations from about a dozen horses filled the
Thick air around her.The possibility of her destorying or evading such
A force seemed highly unlikely.One or two she could have handled-but
So many,never.Lady Diana held tightly to her bow and surveyed the area
 surrounding the small hamlet.Her eyes fell on a poorly made structure
That the peasants used to cover a part of their marketplace..it stood,
Shaking,on only four thin poles,its thatch roof dropping pieces as it
Trembled.Diana smiled.

The horsemen,all wearing the black colors of Lord Gabriel,came into view.
Their leader was the same man she'd bested before.=Oh I'm gonna enjoy
This!=she thought.Her smile became a grin.If the plan worked,the 
Knights would be too busy with her to hurt or even think about any of the
Peasants.As Lady Diana watched,their leader approached her on his
Prancing stallion,only to stop abruptly a few feet away.He unsheathed
His sword.

"Lady,drop you bow.My master wants a meeting with you!"

"I know you," the Lady Diana responded."At first,I didn't recognize you.
The last time I saw you,you were on your back."

The burly knight flushed.

"And why would I want to see your master?I have no business with him."

The leader motioned for his guards to follow him and started forward.
In a dead run,the Lady Diana ducked under the shakily-thatched roof,and
She was followed by seven of the twelve knights.
As the knights made it under the thatched roof,Diana hit the side pole
As hard as she could forcing the brace and roof down onto the knights
Knocking them off their horses.Slinging her bow in back of her.Diana
 placed her hands in back of her hips and looked back."Oooops.." she
Commented smugly.Some of the knights were fighting to get up while 
others were having problems keeping their terrified horses under control.

Lady Diana slowly walked into the forest,and behind her she heard
 the cheers of the peasants as they came out of their hiding places.
She turned.=stupid peasants!They should've stayed hidden!"

She could hear the old woman giggling and telling another 
peasant."I told yoy!Now you owe me!Let's settle these bets."

An argument started and what Diana feared the most became 
reality;one of the knights swooped down on the peasants,picking up 
the old woman as the other peasants scrambled away.

"Don't breath on me old woman!"the knight said."Your breath could 
melt my armor!"He shook the old woman like a rag doll,then she went

limp.the knight's voice rang out:"I know that you're still here.
Lady Diana! Give yourself up to me and I promise that this hamlet 
will be spared.Our Lord,the Black Knight.Gabriel only wants to talk
 with you."

"Damn."Diana had no chioce ,and she came out of the forest."You win,
for now."she told him."But let them go.I will go see your High Lord.
"Diana only stopped once,glancing at the still struggling knights on 
the ground beneath the thatch.She spotted the same knight she'd bested 
before,and looked down at him."You just can't seem to keep on your
 feet,can you?"

The peasants watched in silence as the Lady Diana grabbed one of 
the downed knights
's horses and gracefully jumped on.She watched as the other knights
 rope their fallen champions and started to drag them back into the 
woods with Lady Diana beside the new head knight.

The old woman pulled herself off the ground and looked around.She
 spit on the ground and wiped her mouth with her hand.The smell 
from her mouth made her eyes pop and water as the other peasants 
crowded around her."I want my money,you toothless old hag!" yelled
 a weathered,loose skinned man.

"She bested them!" the old hag protested."I don't own you a thing,
you rat faced fart."others were crowding around and she yelled.
"She beat them-the redheaded wildcat-she only went with them 
willingly!They don't beat her!"

"If she went with them,they won!"

The clearing erupted into a melee of clubs,fists,spit and hair
 pulling.Only the old hags voice could be made out over the fray.
"Don't touch me pearl!"
And shortly after that a man's voice..."Gods woman!Shut your 
mouth,your breath smells like a buzzard died in there!"

It didn't seem that long until Diana and her escorts made 
it back to the Black Knight Gabriel's castle.Half the knights
 were being dragged by the others...a sad sight.A small,
misshapen hunchback came out to greet them.He looked with awe 
at Lady Diana,who sat straight and tall on Sir Winsome's
 horse,her red hair floating on the breeze.The small hunchback
 pranced around the fallen knights,pointing at the fallen 
Sir Winsome,he chuckled."I see you got some dents in your 
armor.Gabriel's gonna make you pay to get these dents hammered
 out.Maybe he'll hammer you inside."

Sir Winsome mumbled something and took a heavy swing at
 the hunchback,but was way to slow,and the hunchback 
easily danced away.=Gods,how I like this beautiful
 redheaded amazon.=he thought.

The lead knight motioned to his men to drop their ropes,leaving 
the fallen knights on the ground,while the hunchback-after 
years of abuse danced around the fallen knights singing loudly.

Lady Diana walked in silence,but the two knights besides her 
weren't silent at all.The largest of the knights started to 
belly laugh. "I' don't know which was funnier.That old hag 
trying to get into your armor or the look on Sir Winsome
 falling off his horse again..or maybe us telling Lord Gabriel 
that Sir Winsome was back on the ground." The knight turned to
 Lady Diana. "Your one fine wildcat.If there's anything left
 of you after Lord Gabriel gets through,it's mine."

Diana stopped abruptly."You couldn't handle even a part
 of me,little boy."

The knight only smiled under his helmet."At least I'd 
die happy,my little firebreather."
He grabbed Diana's elbow and pushed her into Gabreil's chamber
,where the fire blazed brightly.Gabriel's skull-like 
features cracked into a sinister smile."Sir
 Weatherby,where is Sir Winsome?"

The smaller knight smiled faintly."He's outside.He's
 on his back again."

Gabriel only nodded to Diana."Your doing?"

"My pleasure," she said flatly."What do you need from me?"

"I could just kill you,but your right.So beautiful,and with
 brains too.I warned=Sir Winsome that you were dangerous.
How many of my knights have you upset?"

"A few."

Gabriel motioned to the knights behind her.Diana
 could hear their retreating steps.

"My dear,"Gabriel said."I just wanted to speak to you,
since you are so well known here.I want you to find 
Prince Vincent and give him this message.I will trade
 him for his and Princess Catherine's son."

Diana kept her emotions in check."How do I know that you
 have his son?And why would you trade?"

Gabreil placed a long,bony finger under Ladys Diana chin.
"Just tell him.Ha !The look in your eyes!You don't believe
 me."he turned his head towards the door and as if on cue,
the small hunchback entered holding a child.

Diana pretended disinterest."It could be anyone's child.
How could I tell?"

"Yes ,indeed.Beautiful and smart."Gabreil motioned the
 hunchback towards them.As the hunchback approached,he
 uncovered the child's hand exposing claw-like nails.

Diana breifly checked the child over.It had to be Prince 
Vincent's.Lady Diana's jaw tightened slightly."I'll tell him."

Lady Diana couldn't wait to take her leave of Gabriel and 
deliver his little news flash.She couldn't understand why 
she was so angry.But all men are pigs-even the one she 
cared for!A baby! Why that two timing good for nothing 
man/beast!Diana kept her temper in check.Out of all that 
talking he'd done,Prince Vincent went on and on about the
 Princess Catherine,but he never mentioned a baby.

As she stomped out of the castle,she was amazed to see 
Sir Winsome was still flat on his back on the ground,
with a tablecloth draped over him.and the ugly hunchback
 sitting beside him eatting a fine meal of fruits and 
berries.Upon seeing Lady Diana the hunchback smiled.
"His Lordship,the wonderful High Lord said I could 
have a picnic out here..since there was such a convenient 
table available! "Would you care to join me,beautiful nymph?"

Diana studied the odd sitution and smiled."Do you have
 a brother,hunchback?"

He grinned."Several,and we all love tall women."

Diana tossed her head back and laughed at the irony.
"Well,I should get something out of this.Pass me 
some apples,hunchback and I'll be on my way."

The small hunchback tossed Lady Diana the most beautiful
 apple he could find,Diana smiled down at Sir Winsome.He
 really did have an ugly,hawk-like face."Thank you,Sir
 Winsome...Please...don't get up!I can leave on my own.
"Lady Diana whistled loudly,for she knew her mare would 
be nearby..probably jealous that she ridden Sir Winsome's
 gelding over here.Diana smiled as her horse appeared from
 the forest and came right up to her.Diana gracefully 
leaped atop her ,mare and smiled down at the hunchback.
She wished him well,but not his master-and she was off.

Lady Diana didn't really know where to find Vincent or even
 if she'd ever see him again.But she had given her word,
even if it was to a nasty,egotistical jeck.But her word 
was her bond and the sooner she could rid herself of
 Prince Vincent,the better.Lady Diana only had one clue 
as to his possible where abouts..the old hag with the 
Princess's pearl.It didn't take her long to make it back
 to the hamlet,but what she saw shocked her.Bruised and
 beaten peasants littered almost every path.Diana then
 saw the old hag and as the old hag saw Diana,she jumped
 up and down with joy while others only groaned.

"WON,WON,I WON!" the hag screamed.
Lady Diana slid off of her saddle as soon as she got within
 inches of the old woman."Old woman,I want to find 
Prince Vincent.Can you help me?"

The old hag puckered up her lips."Let me think-you do know 
that Prince Vincent doesn't have a good reputation with 
women?The last one sorta fell apart on him."

"So I've heard" Diana said dryly gripping the old woman's
 pearl.She stared into the woman's eyes and obviously the
 hag knew she meant business.

"Well then."the hag muttered."If you're gonna be like 
that!I'll show you where he lives.His castle is beneath 
the ground.It's right over there."The old hag pointed a 
shaking finger towards the east.

"Thank you." Diana jumped back onto her horse."I owe you one."

The hag peered up at Diana and took several coins out of
 her pocket.She grinned,showing one blackened tooth .
"Just keep beating those black knights and we're even."

As Diana made her way to Prince Vincent,her heart grew 
heavy with the knowleadge that it wasn't him she was mad 
at.He owned he nothing at all..it was just that she'd 
let her guard down.=Dreams are for fools.They don't come 
true.she thought sadly.She was a realist.He had merely 
upset the delicate balance between dreamer and realist 
within her.She made up her mind;she'd deliver Gabriel's
 message and a warning.but she wouldn't try to involve
 her life with his.It would only lead to pain and
 heartache.She came to a pleasant clearing and the month
 of a cave opening.When Diana examined the ground carefully
,she could see several errant pearls hidden away in the 
slipped off her mare and walked over to the cave's 
mouth.where she noticed a movement.Standing outside 
she yelled."I'm the;Lady Diana.I have an important message
 to give to Prince Vincent!"

Only silence answered her.Frustrated she kicked at one of
 the pearls.Then she saw him.She wasn't dreaming..had 
never been.He was real.Tall,strong and golden,his thick 
mane tossing in the breeze and every muscle indicating 
controlled power.But it was his sad blue eyes that melted her heart.

"How did you find me,Lady Diana?" His voice was soft and 
gentle,stirring those hidden dreams to life.

"I'm a hunter.It's..what I do."Diana barely managed to say

"I wanted to thank you.I've never really had anyone but 
father looking out for me,caring for me...so I wanted to 
tell you how much it meant to me."His words were a purr,causing
 Diana to shiver.

Diana forced herself back to reality."I'm here on business.
I ran into the High Lord Gabriel."

Concern filled his face...swept over her. "Diana ,you must be careful."

"I'm not Catherine." She said..not meaning it to come out 
so bitter "I can take care of myself." Immediately afterward
 Diana wanted to bite her tongue off.

"I know that.No one can be like Catherine,my wood nymph.
Nor is there anyone like you.We are all unique."

"Why does he do that?"Diana wondered=Turn everything around
 to make you feel special,even when you know you're not..not
 to him=Diana lowered her eyes."I was sent to deliver you a 
message.Gabriel will exchange your son..for you."

"My ..Son?A child?How?" he stuttered,his gaze blank.
"You know..." she told him sarcastically.Surely he wasn't
 so innocent."The bird and the bees?" she peered up at him shyly.

Without looking at her,he waved the comment off.
"No...you mean the bats and the rodents.Father told 
me all about that...but....we didn't..I didn't...I mean..
." He looked confused.

She shrugged "Well whatever."

Finally,his eyes met hers."You're very special to me,but
 I have to leave.I like you..aa lot..but in a different 
way from how I loved Catherine.But I never kissed her lips
 like that.It must've been the way she petted my fur."

Diana shook her head and backed away."I gotta leave
.This is getting too weird,even for me."Just be 
careful,Prince Vincent."

"Just Vincent,Diana." He said with a toothy grin.

She grinned back."Yeah,whatever..Vincent Diana.I'd call 
you Rover if you'd come.Add I'd do more than pet your coat.
.you can be sure of that!"

Diana couldn't believe what just took place.=Maybe I'm dreaming,
=she thought.=That has to be it.Nobody could be that innocent.
=Then,her mind begin to focus on Vincent's powerful,musclar 
arms around her the feel and smell of him.The power of the mare
 underneath her,the power of Vincent's arms around her.
Surrendering.=NO!= her mind screamed=You can't ever see 
him again!He's dangerous to you!= Diana shook off this 
odd feeling =This weakness is your own fault.And a minutes 
weakness may have destoryed everything.=She promised herself 
to find Catherines pieces and return them and search for her 
killers.She wanted it finished as soon as possible so she 
could return to the Northern provinces ,her life her work.

Prince Vincent went straight to his chamber.He was concerned=
What happened out there? He asked himself.He loved Princess 
Catherine with all his heart.She'd touched him in a sweet 
way he'd needed.But Diana had touched something else within 
him.He could live his life knowing that she was fine,and deep 
within he felt that he was bonded with both Catherine and Diana.
He had been able to feel Catherine's needs..but couldn't Diana's.
Yet he could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew him on
 a level that tied her to him the same way he had been tied
 with Catherine.Two very different women had touched his
 heart.Up to now,Catherine had claimed all..but Diana was 
making her own place.He knew if he ever needed her she'd
 be there for him,no matter what the cost to her.

Prince Vincent looked deeply within himself and started 
to write down his feelings for Princess Catherine.She'd 
been gone a year..but they had a child.A child that he 
must save.He wondered sadly if his life was ending,for 
he would have like to have seen where his feelings for 
the wood nymph would taken him.As it was he was drawing 
on Diana's strengh to make it though Catherine's death.But
 he 'd seen the fear in Diana's eyes a few minutes after
 they kissed.He only wished that Catherine would have
 kissed him like that just once.

Vincent smiled as he set down his words on paper.After he was
 finished Prince Vincent called for mouse,who came scampering
 in."Yes,Prince Vincent?"

'You know that beautiful Lady-my wood nymph .That you saw 
outside?After,I leave-and if I don't come back,give this 
to her.And her alone,do you understand?
"What you think Mouse dumb?He bared his rat like teeth at
 Vincent,who shrugged."No my friend,I just want her to know
 something.And tell father that I have to leave."

Mouse eyed him suspiciously."Catherine again?"

"In a very important way,my friend."Vincent handed his 
note carefully over towards Mouse,who gingerly took it.

High Lord Gabriel was not shocked or surprised to hear 
Prince Vincent's voice ringing out below his castle wall.A 
smug smile replaced his customary scowl.Just thinking of 
all the knights he had sent out-who could accomplish nothing
 but finding one little slip of a girl,who managed to best
 them all of them-when all he had to do was invite him with 
a little blackmail.He shrugged=Ah well,one lives and learns
=he thought.He didn't need to look back to know when the 
hunchback entered."well,you ugly little troll,the beauty 
and brains of a mere slip of a girl has again bested not
 only mere men but the beast as well.Send Prince Vincent
Up to me,but make sure that he is heavily chained like any 
dangerous animal.

"Your wish is my command,my Lord."He bowed slightly and 
started to leave.

"Did I say you could leave?"

The hunchback trembled slightly."No,my Lord Highest."

"Get that brother of yours,the ugly one.I need a footstool,
and bring in my throne."

"By myself,your High Lordship?It may take a couple of um...days."

"No ,you idot!Why am I cursed with fools?Get some of those
 worthless knights to help you..and bring my heaviest and
 warmest cloak to me."


The hunchback bowed again,but hurried toward the freedom of 
the castle's corridors.He only wished that the redheaded 
amazon could put his high Lord on his ass.He wasn't too 
thrilled with the high Lord using his little brother as 
a footstool,even if he did claim he was helping him out
 by pushing his hump in.=It never worked with me.=he thought angrily.

It didn't take long for the hunchback to convey his High
 Lordship's orders,since knights littered almost every corridor.



Conclusion of Fable

Gabriel sat tall and straight in his 
stone throne,his skeletal features sharpened
 by the shadows from the raging fire beside 
him.His feet rested on an ugly hunchback whose
 features showed strain.Knights surrounded
 the chain Prince Vincent as they escorted
 him to the High Lord Prince Vincent looked
 over his immediate surroundings.Then,almost
 casually,toward High Lord Gabriel."I have 
kept my promise and have come to you to secure
 the release of my son."His voice was steadying
,strong and fearless.
Gabriel stood,still resting one of his feet
 on the hunchback."It seems that you have 
no one with you to take care of your son.
What kind of a man do you take me for,that 
I would endanger a child?" He eyed Prince
 Vincent coldly. "Perhaps if your lady,the
 huntress,were here,I could hand over the
 child to her." He smiled "The child can
 hardly walk home alone."
Prince Vincent stared back at his enemy.
"I know not where the lady is,but if you 
leave the child in the village of Dragon's
 Breath,my people shall find him," Vincent
 told Gabriel,not giving an inch to the
 mad man in front of him.
"Yes,that's where we took your lady from
 the first time.You have good taste.I like
 women with spirit.Did you know that your
Amazon bested most of my knights?She's a 
 clever little wisp."

At that Prince Vincent raised his brow

Gabriel laughed and stomped his foot down 
hard,pushing the hunchback underneath him.
"I have you-a splendid animal-all you need
 to do now so I can release your son is to
 tell where Lady Diana is,so I can get a 
message to her to come for your son.I am 
not an unreasonable man.Besides..don't you
 think that your huntress could take care
 of herself after downing several of my knights?

At the look of awe on Vincent's face,Gabriel
 laugh."Ha,the little huntress hasn't told you 
Prince Vincent?"
"I don't know where she is." Vincent said coldly.
"I want to see my son."

"And you will-once you're safely behind cell
 bars."Gabriel motioned the knights to take Prince
 Vincent below.Prince Vincent had little choice,
for if there was only a small hope of getting his
 son,it lay with the Lady Diana..but with him 
locked away,how could he make contact with her
 to tell her of his need?"

The knights with Prince Vincent were fearful 
as they hustled him down damp dark corridors
 which led into dimly lit halls-each lined
 with cells full of half starved humans and 
deformed creatures of the night. He was shocked
 into pity as he saw one after another lying
 motionless on dirt flooring or shivering in 
the cold air.After what seemed like a eternity,
 they entered a small room, where only one
 empty cell stood .The knight Sir Winsome,
produced his keys and unlocked the cell,
 motioning Vincent inside.

Nothing greeted Vincent inside except 
the smell of death and pain .Locking
 the cell ,the knights turned to leave,
but Sir Winsome stopped short. "Prince
 Vincent," he sneered. "Prince of the
 deformed .I hope for your sake that we
 find that hellcat Diana.I'd hate to see
 your child rot here like the rest .So 
if you do know where she is.I'd tell 
Gabriel."Vincent just stared down and
 touched his heavy chains .Sir Winsome
 smiled and walked away."Well I guess
 I'll have to find her on my own."His
 tone was sinister and the implication ugly.

Try as she might to keep her promise to
 herself,the farther Lady Diana got from
 Prince Vincent,the colder she felt.She 
couldn't believe what happened just before 
she whistled for her horse.Deep down,she
 knew Gabriel was leading Vincent to his
 destruction.Everytime she closed her 
eyes,Diana recounted their last minutes
 together=Yeah,whatever,Vincent=Diana
 thought=I'd call you Rover if you come,
all right,and I'd do more than pet your
 coat,you can be sure of that!=Then, 
without even thinking,she walked straight
 up to Prince Bincent,pulled his head down 
and kissed him-not just a kiss,but one 
where she could taste his tonsils=Diana
 flushed and smiled just thinking about
 it.She didn't know who had been more
 shocked-him or her.She could kick herself
,wondering if it was worth it.But the
 answer came back to her and she grinned.
"Damn straight it was!" He'd been so cute
 with his mouth hanging open as she
 jumped on her horse to leave.She'd left 
him wide eyed and drooling."Damn."She
 pulled her mare up short."I guess if 
I want more of that I'd better save him.
If I never get next time,I'm gonna suck
 his tonsils right out of him for putting me 
though this."Shaking her head,Diana turned
 her horse around and headed back to Prince
 Vincent's domain.

Before Lady Diana was half way there,a 
huge rat crossed the path in front of 
her,causing her to pull her horse to a
 stop.Grabbing her bow and arrow,she aimed.
The mouse Mouse stopped and yelled.
"No! Friend Vincent's.Here's letter
 he wrote you."Gingerly,Mouse approached
 Diana,and shakingly handed her Prince
 Vincent's note.Diana grabbed it from 
Mouse and without looking at it,she
 stuffed it in her pocket."Rat?"

"No,Me Mouse,not rat."his little 
red beady eyes were on hers.She 
shuddered=God.Vincent has some ugly
 friends=She wasn't too thrilled 
with rats or mice whatever he 
was."Mouse,do you know where Prince Vincent is?"

"He go do Catherine stuff again.
"Mouse said with a sigh and a notable disgust.
Diana's heart was gripped in fear.
"Gabriel." She could feel her heart
 fluttering in her chest.
Mouse whose large ears caught even
 a stir on the breeze,said angrily,
"Gabriel no good! Turn me into mouse
Me steal ladies chastity belts." 
He nodded sadly.

Diana peered down at him"Gabriel let
 you into his castle?"her mind whirled
 with possibilities.

"No." Mouse shook his head."Secret
 way.Want Mouse to show you?If Mouse
 shows you he gets chasty belt?

"Hell,I'll buy you one after you show
 me the way in,deal?"Diana placed her
 hand down,and Mouse grabbed at her
 hand and pumped it up and down.

"Deal" he smiled

Lady Diana wasn't far behind Prince Vincent
 when he started out on his suicide mission.
Diana shook her head as she rode,thinking 
that he was either the most noble of the 
nobles or the stupidest man she'd ever met.
Diana and Mouse started canvassing around 
the castle just out of sight of guards and 
knights-pitiful creatures who cried out in
 torment which encompassed her heart,clouded
 her mind."Where is the opening? No opening,
no chastity belt." She whispered softly to Mouse.

"Mouse thinks he remembers."Mouse whispered back.
With each step and minute that passed a
 growing apprehension gripped at her.She
 could perceive no opening,no hidden 
doorway or escape route hidden around,
but she knew deep within herself that 
there was one.There had to be one.She 
would except nothing less."Mouse,if you
 don't want to end up mouse under ground
 you better find it!We've been looking
 for hours."

As evening approached,Diana knew that
 Prince Vincent would not return on his
 own."Damn!" she kicked out at the 
ground beneath her feet."I warned him,
honorable,noble fool."But deep down
 she knew that if he had done anything
 else,she would have lost all respect 
for him.Watching the sun descend,and
 then disappear into the earth,she
 and Mouse continued their search.

As late evening approached,Diana's
 temper was frazzled and she was
 suppressing the desire to rip Mouse's
 ears right off him.After a couple
 of deep breaths,she smiled slightly
 and asked sweetly as she could
 manage."Mouse,you know,Lord Gabriel
 probably has some more chastity belts 
in there. "Its too bad you can't 
remember where the opening is."

Mouse edged his long nose closer to
 the small patch of bushes and 
sneezed.A smile of pure delight 
spread across his rat-like features.
His wickedly long front teeth chattered
 and he jumped up and down gleefully,
pointing under the bush."Oh,Oh!."

Diana grabbed the bush at its base
 and yanked as hard as she could.
The bush gave way,uncovering a small
 dark hole.She eyed Mouse"After you.
" She muttered and pointed towards 
the opening.Mouse just squealed and
 jumped inside.Diana took a deep
 breath and followed him,though she
 barely fit through the opening.But
 suddenly,like a cock pulled out of
 a bottle.Diana popped through and
 plunged straight down into a under
 ground tunnel,and landed on top of
 Mouse.Standing hastily and glaring 
down at the little rodent,she told
 him."Mouse-touch my chastity belt 
again and I'll rip your arm off!Do I
 make myself clear?"

Mouse scrambled away from Diana and 
gulped,his voice small and high pitched.
"Yes,ma'am."

Diana glanced around the tunnel=Well=she
 thought to herself=your traveling with
 a rat..Whatever...and you end up in a
 rat hole.
Spiderwebs,damp,mildrew and pitch darkness
 surrounded her.Hands on her hips,she
 surveyed her surroundings.She turned
 back to Mouse,who was scrambling to
 his feet.

"Isn't this place neat?"he asked cheerfully

Diana looked around."Yeah,kid.Really
 neat.Now..which tunnel leads us to 
the cell?"She pointed at two branches
 of the tunnel up ahead.Mouse seemed 
quite in his element and started 
hopping towards the right tunnel.
"This way."he said stopping long
 enough to turn his beady rat eyes
 toward her the darkness.
Diana could feel her skin crawled
 as she stared into those eyes.
.light from the tunnel's opening
 made his beady eyes gleam red.
Shaking her head,she quickly
 followed him.

Meanwhile.Prince Vincent was down
 in his cell chewing on his claws.
He could feel his child somewhere 
above him and knew the baby was
 sleeping peacefully.Prince Vincent
 sighed only looking up when a
 menacing presence invaded the
 small room where his cage was 
housed.Lifting his eyes,he saw 
Gabriel with Sir Winsome excourting him.

The two men slowly approached the 
cage."Are you comfortable,animal?"
 the hatchet-faced Gabriel asked.

Vincent only stared up at Gabriel
 and quietly addresses him."You
 said I could see my child."

A nasty smile played across Gabriel's
 lips."So I did,but I lied.And you're
 in no position to do a thing about it.
Beast.As soon as I get that hot blooded,
red-headed filly of yours.You'll both
 die of course,but that's after my
 knights and I have a little fun with 
her."He shrugged."I'm surprised she's
 not here already.Perhaps I've
 over-estimated her."


Vincent growled."She doesn't even 
know I'm here.And from what I 
understand,you and your knights
 have already had a tough time 
with her.Are you so greedy for more?"

Gabriel smiled slightly and started 
to slowly turned around-only to stop
 and crane his vulture like head back.
"oh...and I am sorry for Princess
 Catherine-turning her into a statue
 and all.Such a shame.She just seemed
 to go to pieces after that didn't she?"

Gabriel's evil laugh filled the room.
Prince Vincent could feel his head
 spinning"You killed her?"

Gabriel only laughed again."In a
 manner of speaking.By the way.
.your son-or rather,my son-will
 watch you die slowly along with
 your precious Lady Diana,after 
we have our way with her in front
 of you beast.I will catch her.
" Gabriel left Vincent alone with
 his thoughts,but after they were
 out of earshot,he grabbed Sir
 Winsome by the throat."You can
 take care of the girl,can't you?"

"Of course."Sir Winsome choked out.
"Of course I can.High Lord!"

Gabriel pushed his bony finger into
 Sir Winsome's chest."If you can't 
handle her,just kill her!She's far
 more of a threat than Prince Vincent!"

Prince Vincent sat alone in his 
cell,contemplating all the things
 that had happened to him in these
 last days.He covered his face with
 his clawed and furred hands.Images
 danced in his mind of his Princess
 smiling and checking out each gem
 with the skill of a gem dealer..
.thought of her constant need for
 his aid and the way she'd disappeared
 only to become a crystal statue,and
 then how she was condemned-however
 indirectly-by his maddness to stay 
a statue and finally be broken into 
pieces.Then,to find out he had a son!
It was such a shock! Then his thoughts
 moved to Diana..and it was odd to him
 that when he thought of Diana it 
wasn't of her needing him but rather
 him needing her.He held little fear 
for her eventual safety...but the thought
 of Gabriel touching her made Prince 
Vincent physically ill.And the thought
 of his son being raised by that creature
 from Hades was insuffable ! He wailed 
in despair.

Meanwhile,Lady Diana was praying for
 the end to this endless trek though 
the tunnels.Mouse was no help at all.
He seemed to pause every couple of
 feet and sniffed the air around him.
Diana wondered what scent he had picked
 up,but he remained quiet.Finally he 
stopped,and eyeing Diana said "I
 think we took a wrong turn."

Diana murmured under breath."Just great!
I should have left you top side."

Shaking his head to and fro,he wrinkled
 his nose and his eyes watered"Dirty Diaper.Yek!"

It had to be Vincent's son!At first,
Diana was excited,then the child's 
smelly diaper ordor hit her as it
 drifted through the tunnels.With it
 trapped between the walls,the stench
 was odiferous.Diana gagged' "Okay,"
 she managed through the stink. "If 
we can't find Vincent,at least we know
 where his son is..if nothing else,we
 follow the smell,right .Rat?"

"Mouse!Not Rat!" Mouse interjected.

"Whatever.I want you to get Prince
 Vincent's child.I'm going down to 
see if I can get into the cells from
 down here." Diana disappeared into 
the darkness before Mouse could say 
a word.Mouse was about to yell out 
but thought better of it.=Maybe I
 already told her about the traps
 Gabriel has set=he thought hopefully.

Diana felt her way along the damp
 wall until she came to a rotten
 fence that blocked her way.Diana
 noticed small,well placed cuts 
in the wood.She sat down and kicked
 at the rotten wood until it
 cracked beneath her feet.Suddenly
 a chill swept through her,chilling
 her mind.It was too easy-why the 
well placed cuts? Diana sat up and 
peered between the slats.A gleam 
caught her eye..swords interlaced
 the wood.Diana pulled her arrows
 from her quiver and placed them 
on the ground.Placing her hand in 
the leather quizer,she hit the wooden
 fence..which bent outward,causing
 the sword-laced plank above collapse 
down in front of her-she pulled her
 hand out just in time.Grabbing her
 arrows and putting her bows back 
into the quizer's sling,she edged
 around the wall of swords.

As she stepped beyond the wall of
 swords,an unearthly silence greeted
 her-then taking a few steps forward,
she heard moaning,screams and cries 
of pain.Bracing herself for her ordeal,
Diana forced herself forward.

Mouse stopped and wrinkled his nose.
.the smell of a dirty child's diaper
 drew him up the righthand tunnel.He
 felt around the wall as he remembered
 a catch that triggered a door.His
 hand felt a thin rope."That's it!"
 Mouse squeaked as the small opening
 appeared by his knee.He dropped down,
and sticking his mouse head through
 the opening,he saw a baby,fast asleep
 now in a tiny crib.Mouse leaned in
 to far and -thump-,fell right on his
 face.An elderly midwife with her grey
 hair done up in a untidy bun came
 running to check on the tiny child,only
 to see mouse hanging upside down.
Screaming hysterically,she grabbed 
a small pillow and started swinging 
it with all her strength at Mouse,who
 was desperately trying to free himself 
and stand up-right.Holding his hands up
 over his head,he yelled"Your hurting
 my!Stop that!" At that the midwife 
threw the pillow down and rolled her
 eyes in terror.

Pointing and backing up at the sametime,
she managed to scream."EVIL DEMON!"
 When she reached the corridor outside
 the child's room.she turned and ran
 away,still screaming.Mouse scampered
 over to Vincent's child and grabbed
 him from his crib,causing the small,
stinky little bundle to wake and 
scream out at the top of his lungs.

Lucky for our heroes that most of 
the knights were out chasing Diana,
who by this time was just about
 through the wall in front of Vincent's
 cell.Prince Vincent heard the 
child's wailing cries echoing down
 the thick layers of corridors and
 they pierced his heart.His soul
 cried out for his son.The few knights
 left guarding the cells came rushing 
in as Prince Vincent roared,ripping his
 chain from the wall and his limbs from
 their manacles.His maddness was
 indescribably as he ripped out the
 cell door.Knights scattered in terror 
of the monster before them,and those who
 stood their ground were dispatched with
 a swift and terrible blow from 
Vincent's claws.

As Vincent tore up the stairs after
 his crying child,Diana heard the
 terrible commotion and hurriedly 
groped around in the dark and found
 the lever to free herself.As the
 door swung open,her eyes and mind
 were shocked at the savage being 
before her.Diana glanced into another
 corridor filled with cells-dirty,
starving and crazy ,the remnants 
of human beings stared back at her.
She could hear Vincent's roaring as 
they rolled down the stairs behind
 him.Looking around,Diana grabbed
 a key from the severed arm of a
 daed guard who's fingers still 
held tightly to the cell door keys.
Diana swiftly ran down the lined
 up cells and tossed the keys to
 one of the newest arrivals,and 
as he freed himself,Diana gripped 
his shirt and told him."Make sure 
to free the others,or I will hunt
 you down."The man nodded and Diana
 took off after a raging Prince Vincent. 

Diana raced up several staircases.The
 carnage left in Vincent's wake 
littered the small landings.She 
followed the screams,roars and 
crying to a small room.Surveying 
the scene around her,she found Mouse
 trembling and holding tightly to
 Vincent's crying child.Prince
 Vincent-completely mad with rage-faced
 Gabriel,who had come to see what
 the commotion was about.Prince
 Vincent held his clawed hand
 dangerously close to the sworded Gabriel.

Vincent and Gabriel circled each other,
each taking the measure of their prey.
Diana watched this strange dance of 
death.She had to stop this maddness 
and bring Lord Gabriel to justice in
 Lord Maxwell's court.As the deadly 
dance before her continued,suddenly 
Vincent stopped and lowered his hand.
His fierce growls stopped as the baby
 cried.Vincent turned to check on his
 son.Mouse yelped and Diana watched 
horrified,as Vincent turned away from Gabriel

Diana grabbed an arrow and placed it
 on her bow,then as High Lord Gabriel
 lunged towards Vincent,she let the 
arrow fly.Gabriel grabbed his chest
 as he slowly sank to his knees
 before Prince Vincent.
The room was silent as Diana dropped 
her bow and approached Vincent,She
 touched his arm lightly and he turned
 to her,his madness spent.
"Vincent,your son needs you.Mouse will
 show you the way out."Their eyes met 
in silent understanding and sorrow.Diana 
turned to Mouse. "Mouse,showed
 Prince Vincent the way out from the cells."

Prince Vincent looked sadly at 
Diana just once as he walked over
 and gently took his son from Mouse.
Diana watched as he held his son for
 the first time-his face was transformed
 by a mystical softness.He lifted his 
eyes to Diana's and murmured. "Thank you."

As Mouse led Vincent away.Diana walked
 slowly over and knelt beside High Lord
 Gabriel.She checked his pulse to be certain
 that he was dead,then went to the child's
 crib and grabbed some diapers and a
 blanket.Then she followed the stairway
 back down to the cells.By the time she
 reached the opening to leave the
 castle,Vincent and his child were
 there to greet her..but there was
 no sign of Mouse.As if he could 
read her thoughts.Vincent smiled
 and told her "Mouse went back for
 chastity belts.I couldn't stop him.
He said he'd meet us at home."

=home?=Diana thought in momentary 
confusion..then decided he was merely
 speaking of himself."Okay"she said.
"Guess we'd better hurry then.Don't
 want to run into any of Gabriel's knight."

"Diana,"Vincent said quietly "Thank 
you for what you did for me." 
He gazed down at his son."For us."

Diana flushed and looked down at
 the diapers and blanket which were
 still clutched in her hand.Then she
 smiled as she handed him a diaper.

"Well..if you really want to thank me..."

Lady Diana and Prince Vincent finally 
made their way back to Vincent's
 kingdom.High Lord Gabriel's knights
 were conspicuously absent.Diana knew
 that she would have to face them 
 again in the future,but she figured
 she'd worry about that later.They 
stopped so Vincent could change the 
baby's diaper,for neither of them 
could stand the smell any longer.
Vincent tried to con Diana into
 changing it,but she pleaded the 
need to scout ahead and returned 
just as he finished the job=Good
 timing is critical to a successful
 mission.=she thought with relief.

As they approached the kingdom down
 below,Diana-who had been watching
 Vincent with his son for some 
time-decided that now that the 
baby didn't smell so bad,he was 
really cute."Can I hold him?" she 
asked the proud father.

Delighted that she'd asked,because
 he was getting a cramp in his arm 
from carrying him.Vincent handed the
 baby over ....and decided Diana
 looked pretty good holding a kid
 instead of a bow.He told her,
"When we get Below,we'll give the
 baby to Mary."

"Who's Mary?"Diana asked a little
 suspiciously.After all.she 'd
 gone to a lot of trouble to rescue
 this brat..didn't want to hand
 him off to just anybody.

"She raised me along with father.
I think you'll like her.I'll introduce you."

As they entered the Kingdom Below,
they had to run a gauntlet of citizens
 who came to greet their dear prince 
and to check out the new arrivals.
They found Mary standing outside 
the King's thorneroom."Mary,I want
 to introduce you to the most
 intelligent,beautiful,independent 
lady I know-the Lady Diana."Vincent
smiled brightly and added.."And my
 son."Diana held the baby out for Mary to see.

Mary gasped-a look of sheer shock
 passing over her gentle features.
"Vincent---does your....father....know?"
 Mary's voice seem to fade with every word.

Prince Vincent shook his head and 
smiled as he shyly took the baby from 
Diana and handed him over to Mary."I'm
 going to tell him now.Mary.Can you 
escort Lady Diana to my chambers and 
then return with my son to my father's 
throneroom?"

Mary only shook her head as she 
gazed at Lady Diana.Finally, she 
said softly"Please follow me Lady."

Diana soft touched Vincent's arm
 in a tentative gesture of good 
luck and followed Mary to Vincent's 
chamber.Prince Vincent took a deep
 breath as he entered Good King 
Jacob's thornroom.

Diana was surprised at Vincent's
 chamber,for it was spare with only
 a bed,table,chair and a bookcase.
But the bookcase was littered with
 stacks and stacks of books.Diana 
ran her finger over the book's spines
 poetry,plays,romances and historical
 non-fiction.Diana cocked her head
 and smiled.So there was more than
Just looks there.He was a man with
 intelligence..a rarity indeed.Diana
 slipped her hand into her pocket
 and pulled out the letter from
 Vincent.Unfolding it.Diana walked
 over and sat down in Vincent's
 chair.Smoothing out his letter
 to her,she started to read.

My beautiful fairy wood nymph Diana

Song birds sing their sweetest notes
 in my wood nymph's ear.Hopefully 
she's dreaming still and she's 
dreaming that I am there.And when 
you wake her,birds...make sure she 
thinks of me,as my need for her is
 true.Then while she listens to the
 soft winds blow,say it in slow
 music so softly tenderly and 
low.And when I hear her soul's
 song back-my heart it trembes
 so.Moon and stars above shine


 when my wood nymph sleeps and 
still in dreaming lies.Shine 
through the heavens and wooded 
forest for her sake and mine..and
 send your light to kiss her brow
 and say it is from me kissing her
 very gently as she wakes.No
 matter where she wanders near
 or far from me,tell her of my
 secret love.Through mornings
 die and the stars and moonshines
 far less brightly than before my
 lovely wood nymph was near..my 
love shall endure,though it finds
 no tongue to say.I shall always
 need you.

Your Loving servant

 Vincent

Diana smiled and flushed.It 
embarrassed her,but charmed her
 as well.

Meanwhile,Good King Jacob smiled 
from his throne."Son! It's good 
to see you home at last!Are you
 back for good now?"

Vincent's blue eyes where bright.
"Father,I have something to tell you." 

King Jacob closed his eyes and
 leaned back heavily into his 
throne."No,please.Just tell me
 no lips or fur rubbing with anyone?"

Prince Vincent looked embarrassed
 "Only Catherine,Father...and
 of course Lady Diana from the North."

King Jacob just shook his head 
and cradled it in bhis hands as
 he groaned.Just then Mary burst
 in carrying Vincent's son in 
her arms.The Good King spread 
his fingers and peered at Mary.

Prine Vincent broke the silence
 by saying proudly."Father,I want
 you to meet my son."

Good King Jacob almost fell off 
his chair."Mary!"he bellowed."You 
never told me how FAST those girls
 from the Northern provinces are!

This is the end of my fractured fairytale.
And supposedly,they all lived happily
 every after,but I tend to doubt that.



I hope you enjoyed my tale.Thanks
 to Rhonda Collins for editing this .
Diana Garcia