The Encounter, 1906--



...and Camille told me that it was called an elephant. Maman, did you ever see an elephant?
Oui, I have, a long time ago. Henri! Get away from that box, you don't know where it's been.
Henri frowned and drifted back to my side, his little face scrunched up. You don't let me have any fun.
I said harshly. I want you to be safe, that's all. Is that any great sin?
I could tell that he didn't understand, and we walked in silence for a moment, weaving through the crowds of people that clogged the street. I often forgot that I was speaking to a child, and spoke as I normally did. I will be the first to admit, I never once imagined myself in this position, and I most likely made a complete cock-up of a job, but I was trying my best under the circumstances.
Henri tugged on my skirt excitedly. Look, there's a dog! Hurry, Maman, i want to see!
I warned, but it was too late. Within the blink of an eye, he had torn from my side and was racing down the street, the bright blue of his cap bobbing among the trousers and skirts that pressed on all sides. Henri! Henri, get back here! Henri! I fought my way through the pressing crowds, trying desperately to find him in the crush of people. Don't let him fall, I thought to myself as I pushed past a flower cart. For God's sake, don't let him fall...The wave of people suddenly broke at an intersection, leaving me standing dumbly in the street, confused and lost. I turned my head quickly in all directions, panic beginning to well in my throat, my heart pounding as Henri was nowhere to be found. I quickened my pace and headed towards a bustling street full of shops, hoping beyond hope that he had been captivated by a window display and was waiting patiently for me to collect him. I couldn't see very well through the stalls and vendors, and pushed through a gaggle of faded Bohemians who stood at the entrance of a run-down cafe. I was about to give up and turn back...and then I heard him.
the cry rose above the noises from the street. Maman! Maman!
I screamed, my heart sending new energy into my sluggish limbs, propelling me forward into the crush, blood pounding in my ears. Henri! Henri, where are you? Henri!
I followed the sound of his cries and struggled through a patch of people that seemed determined to keep me from him. When I finally broke free, I could feel my heart plummet to the cold stones below and and my skin burn hot when I saw a man, neatly attired in a gray flannel suit and a trimmed brown beard, standing in the street, my son's hand in his own.
I confess, mes amis, that I was not thinking at this time, I was not thinking about my own actions. All I was thinking about, all I knew, was that my child had got separated from me, and was now in the arms of a stranger, a stranger who might be violent, a stranger who might try and hurt him. It was in this state of mind that I leapt onto the back of the man who was holding his wrist, wrapping my arm around his neck and beating at his shoulder with my fist. Get your hands off him, you bastard! I screamed, my face hot with fury. I'll kill you, I'll damn well kill you!
I continued like this for a moment, until a rough pair of hands grabbed me and pulled me off of the stranger and into a fierce grip, a gendarme's face leering down at me. What the Hell is all this? he barked. Go on, leave off!
The gendarme held me back and I struggled against him, his fingers bruising my arms as I fought against his grip. Let me go! I roared. I've done nothing wrong, let me go!
Now, now, Mademoiselle, he chided me condescendingly. Let's not make this any harder than it has to be, shall we? You don't want the child to have to remember this, do you? He turned to the bearded stranger and smiled apologetically. Terribly sorry about all this, Monsieur, he said. These jades ain't normally violent...must be from Old Sal's. We'll soon have her back again.
Old Sal's? I...no, they couldn't have thought I belonged there, of all places! I'm not mad! I argued. Don't put me...I'm not mad! Now leave me alone!
The bearded man must have decided that he'd had quite enough of the commotion, and held up his hand. I...no, Monsieur, it's quite all right. You may release her.
The gendarme looked shocked. But Monsieur...
It was an accident, the bearded man said. I didn't know it was her child, he looked like the child of a friend. There's no need for all of this.
The gendarme still looked unconvinced, but released me. I tore out of his grasp and scooped Henri into my arms, rocking him gently as he wrapped his arms around my neck. he whispered. Maman, let's go, please.
We will, I promised, and looked up as I heard a man call to me.
Mademoiselle Nini! he laughed, watching us. What sort of a scrape have you got yourself into this time?
Shut your fat face! I yelled back at him. If you were half the man you claim to be, than you'd--
the voice came from the bearded man, the one who started this whole mess. I...Nini, my God! It's been years, I...I hardly recognise you!
I could only stare at him coldly as Henri buried his face in my neck. Monsieur, I do not know you, I stated flatly, and I have no wish to. Now, if you've nothing more to say to me, I'll be on my way. That you so much for your prompt response, Monsieur, I said bitterly, curtsying to the gendarme. For without your help, I never would have known my mental state. Au reviour. I turned on my heel and began to walk down the street, ignoring the stares of the spectators that lined the pavement. I hadn't gone far, however, until something reached my ears that made me stop, something unusual, yet strangely familiar.
Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight!
I turned to see the bearded man standing in the middle of the street, oblivious to the amused faces surrounding him. What the Hell... I muttered, watching as he took another breath.
You're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me...and please, believe me when I say I love you'... he finished and looked at me, smiling a little. I'm sorry, I know it's been a while, and I'm sure you don't remember me too fondly...but I thought I might try and find you again.
I narrowed my eyes and walked slowly back towards him, searching through all the faces I'd seen in my life, all blurred and mashed into one. But there was something familiar about him, something I remembered from years ago. I peered into his eyes, and thought that I saw something in there, something beyond what was reflected in the dirty street...something glamourous, full of light and sound and colour...and music. A world of music reflected in a single eye. And that is how I remembered, that is where it clicked.
Mon Dieu, I whispered.