AFL Chapter 17

That night, I had a hard time sleeping. The bed in the Brooklyn Girls' Lodging House wasn't as comfortable as those in my house or even at the Manhattan Boys' Lodging House. I was shaken awake by Judy around midnight.

"Victoria? Victoria!" she said. I blinked up at her. She was holding a candle, and the flames flickered across her face. Her eyes were wide and she looked scared. "Wha's wrong? You was cryin' out in yer sleep!"

"Pipe down!" a girl called out. "Some of us's tryin' t' sleep heah!"

I struggled to remember my dream, but couldn't. "I'm sorry I woke you," I said sheepishly. "It must have just been a bad dream."

"Cheese it, Sleepin' Beauty!" called out a voice I recognized as Stormy's.

Judy shrugged at me, then went back to her own bed. She gave me a smile then blew out the candle.

I was tired, but I didn't trust my dreams enough to go back to sleep. I struggled to keep my eyes open as long as I could, and was surprised at how quickly morning actually came. I was still awake when Mrs. Higgins came up. After we all got cleaned up and dressed, we headed downstairs and out the door to get papes.

Spot was already down there with his papes, and he smiled when he saw me. He walked over and put his arm around me. "Ya wants t' help me sell me papes?" he asked.

I raised my chin. "I'd rather sell my own, thanks," I answered, slipping out from under his arm and walking to join the line. He began to laugh and hoot, leaning on his cane until I came back with my papes. I didn't mention the fact that I'd never sold papers on my own before, that I'd always helped Mush. I'd learned a lot from the Manhattan boys. It was time to show Brooklyn just how to sell.

Spot chose a location a little down from mine, and watched me out of the corner of his eye. I rose my chin a little higher and began to yell out my headlines in my clearest and most proper voice. He laughed a little at first, then his eyes widened as I sold more and more. Finally he began to sell his as well, yelling out his own headline. As soon as he'd shout something, I'd yell something even more ludicrous. I was out of papers in no time.

"What?" I asked, feigning surprise. "You're not done yet?"

"Shuddup," he said, his eyes twinkling. "You'se jus' had less t' sell, tha's all." I took half of his remaining papers and quickly sold those too. He just shook his head.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" I asked, hands on my hips. "Sell, Spot, sell!"

He soon did sell his last papers, and then we headed to his favorite place to hang out: his bridge. Some newsies were already swimming in the water, even though it was quickly turning to autumn and the waters couldn't be all that refreshing, I figured. Spot leaned on his cane regally and watched his loyal Brooklyn subjects.

And that was our schedule for the few remaining days of summer, then for the first few weeks of autumn: we'd sell our papers, then hang out with the other newsies. The girls, save Judy, still didn't like me or trust me ("She always yells and screams in 'er sleep," Stormy complained. "Every night. She won' shuddup.") and I didn't get too close to the boys either, but Judy and Spot kept me from getting too lonely. Judy soon got a newsie name, Chestnut, because of the light color of her eyes. I refused any name that they tried to give me, which thoroughly confused them. Eventually Spot called me Vic, and Chestnut called me Tori. Because of this, the others began to call me A, since it was the only part of my name that hadn't been used in a nickname. At first I didn't respond to it, until they called me it so much that it stuck. Then Spot and Chestnut began to call me A too, and I learned to live with it.

"Heya, A," said Spot one day when we were alone (which didn't happen very often). We were walking through the streets of Brooklyn, having sold our papers without any trouble. "Stormy says you'se still screamin' in yer sleep. Why?"

"I don't know," I answered, lowering my eyes. I'd begun to start remembering what my dreams were that made me so anxious in my sleep. They all had Mush in them, though once I was awake I couldn't remember WHAT it was about him. But I couldn't tell Spot that I still thought about Mush. He'd been so kind to me. He'd helped me out when no one else—not even the people I had trusted more than anyone else in the world, the Manhattan newsies—had been willing to.

"Ya do know that I'se always heah fer ya, right?" he asked, looking into my eyes. I made myself smile.

"Of course. You and Chestnut are the only friends I have in the world."

Autumn began to fade into winter. Winter had always been one of my favorite seasons, back when I lived in a house with roaring fires and had friends whose only cares were going riding in horse-drawn carriages with sleigh bells, wrapped in furs and heavy cloaks, maybe even snuggling against one of the boys who would come along. Winter as a newsie was a whole different story. I found myself shivering as I tried to sell my papers, and I got a cold early on. Spot couldn't come visit me (Mrs. Higgins wouldn't allow it) so for that week Chestnut was my sole friend.

The first day I was feeling slightly better, I ventured outside, wrapped in as many layers as I could put on and holding a cup with hot coffee in it that Mrs. Higgins had insisted upon.

"Spot!" giggled a girl. "You make this season wondahful!"

"Ah, no, you do!" he said modestly. I peeked around the corner, following the voices, and watched as Chestnut and Spot kissed. It wasn't a friendly "you're-the-beau-of-my-friend" or "you're-the-friend-of-my-girl" kiss, it was a full out kiss. I stared for a moment. The cup slipped from my hands, and shattered on the sidewalk, spraying scalding liquid everywhere.

Chestnut and Spot looked over, and both wore guilty and scared expressions. "A! Wait!" shouted Chestnut, as I scrambled back into the Lodging House. Mrs. Higgins looked at me in confusion as I pounded up the stairs. Chestnut followed me and found me throwing all my clothes into my garment bag.

"What are you doin'?" she gasped, short of breath. "I swear, A, it wasn' what it looked like at all…"

"Oh, so you and Spot WEREN'T kissing?" I asked coldly, throwing my Shakespeare books in my pack.

"Okay, so maybe it was EXACTLY what it looked like. But it didn' mean anithing, I swear!"

"How many times did you kiss him before?" I asked, staring at her.

"On'y twice befoah," she mumbled.

"Twice?!" I screeched, throwing the last of my belongings into the sack and starting to buckle it up.

"Ya don' understan'! He missed ya, an'… I guess I jus' wan'ed t' know wha' it was like t' kiss da leadah a Brooklyn," she said, swinging one of her feet. She looked up at me, her expression cloudy. "I'se sorry. Please don' leave, A. Ya don' have nowhere's else t' go!"

"Yeah, well nowhere is a heck of a lot better than here," I answered, shaking her off and going back down the stairs.

"A! Whatcha doin'?" Spot asked.

"Leaving you. I thought you said you'd never hurt me," I told him, feeling tears brimming. Another guy I'd thought I could trust. I willed the tears to stay where they were, because I didn't need icicles draped off my face.

"Don' go!" he pleaded. He followed me, begging the whole way, as I walked over the bridge to Manhattan. My eyes widened at the streets. I'd missed this place, I was astounded to find. I also felt incredibly at home here.

Spot eventually turned around and went back to Brooklyn, shouting that the leader of Brooklyn didn't need to beg for anybody. I felt a weird sense of accomplishment as he left. Then I sighed. I didn't want to go to the girls' lodging house, because I'd never grown close to the girls, and I was sure they'd all hate me, because I knew they would've heard about my "betrayal" of Mush from the boys.

I found an alley that at least partially hid me from the snow that had started to fall, and curled up, holding my knees to my face to block the snow. I wondered how long it would take someone to find me if I froze to death. And if it was of the Manhattan newsies, would they even care?

"Hey! Over heah!" someone called jokingly some time later, as the sky took on shades of deep blue-violet. I peeked over my knees and saw someone bounding through the alley. "Wheah'd that cat go?" It was Snipeshooter.

"Le's go back t' da Lodging House, Snipe!" said another voice. Boots.

"Yeah, it's freezin'!" Jack.

"Leave da poor cat alone!" hollered Crutchy.

"Ah, okay," said Snipeshooter. He turned to leave, then saw me. "Whoa! Fellas, dere's someone in heah!"

"Who is it? Is it a bum? Careful, Snipe!" Boots said.

Jack came over to me. I shivered, my teeth chattering. He looked closer at me. "Daffodil?" he asked incredulously.

It had been so long since I'd heard that as my name, I burst into tears.

"Gawd! She's half-frozen! C'mon, boys, le's get 'er outta heah!" Jack shouted. He tried to help me to my feet but I fainted.