The Art, Chapter 2
By
Aleh
The silver-haired pseudo-god looked up at his feline
companion. "Do you see why I made that change?" he asked.
"Not yet," the cat replied.
"You will."
-----------------
Things quickly settled into a routine in Nerima. Ranma
would go to school; Kuno would bug Ranma, thereby gaining a
new curse of some kind (up to and including baldness, a curse
which revealed a VERY interesting tattoo on the back of his
head), and Ranma would train Akane. The REAL fun, however,
didn't start for another week or so, when Ranma's friends
started to show up.
-----------------
"Nekohanten?" said Nabiki, looking at the resturaunt
which had just opened less than a hundred yards away from her
house. Of the businesses that had opened recently, it was the
LEAST wierd. The Pheonix Bar And Grill (The sign was in English)
wasn't even the wierdest... even if the waitresses there had
WINGS. Ucchan's Okonomiyaki was owned by a girl who, if you
got her sufficiently angry, would hit you over the head with a
giant spatula, wrap you up in rubber yakisoba noodles, or throw
explosive tempura flakes into your face. Needless to say, people
who went there didn't cause much trouble. The resturaunt made up
for its... odd owner through one major virtue: their food was
BEYOND merely good. Of the other two resturaunts, the Dragoon
Cafe (Don't ask how they delivered their food) had a friendly
rivalry going with Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty, owner of
the neighboring Ryuusobaya. Women tended to avoid that one.
All of them had one thing in common: they were owned and
operated by people with grudges against Saotome Genma, most of
which had to do with his kidnapping of Ranma.
"So, who ARE these people?" Nabiki asked Ranma.
"Well, Ucchan is a childhood friend, from before I became
what I am today. Genma betrayed her back then. The Dragoons are
friends from another universe. I helped them out with a
little... problem. As for the Amazons, Hououzanjin, and Musk,
Genma was stupid enough to kidnap me from a diplomatic
conference I had arranged between the three peoples."
-----------------
"Strike what I said earlier," said the cat, "He's beyond
merely stupid."
"Told you so."
-----------------
Genma's life quickly became hell. While no one was
willing to kill him, as doing so would leave Ranma in dire
straits, they had nothing against using the Full-body Cat's
Tongue, pain points, non-lethal poisons, or any of a hundred
other things. Genma was NOT happy. As he was lying on his futon,
Ranma and Nabiki were having another telepathic discussion.
So, about that sister of yours, the one who found you...
Yes?
What was her name?
Amaterasu.
Nabiki was startled. A cry of 'Holy shit!!!' could be
heard across the town of Nerima.
YOU'RE OMIGAMI AMATERASU'S YOUNGER BROTHER?!?
Yep.
Exscuse me a moment, she returned. From where he was
lying down, Ranma could hear Nabiki's voice trying to assure
Soun and Akane that she was alright.
-----------------
"Okay... We've tried locking that moron in his cursed
form, shaving his fur, and tattooing 'I'm a dishonorable piece
of trash' on his butt. What next?"
Dart and Herb looked at Ukyo slightly askew. "'I'm a
dishonorable piece of trash'?" Dart finally said.
"Hey, it was the best I could come up with, okay?" Ukyo
remarked in her defence. "Besides, it's true."
From where she was sitting, Xian Pu looked up. "Why no
sell moron to zoo? Can enroll in... what call it? Panda
breeding program?"
Herb shot that idea down. "The zoos have no interest in
bald, tatooed pandas."
Xian Pu pouted. "Circus, then?"
Dart didn't approve. "Circuses travel. We need him
here."
Xian Pu frowned. "Too, too bad. Maybe ask Hibachan."
Saffron grinned. "The old ghoul? I thought she wanted
nothing to do with us."
"No, no problem with wierd dragon-armored people or
spatula-girl. Only with Musk and Hououzanjin. Want rescue
Ranma very, very much."
"Well, at least she has one redeeming quality."
-----------------
Back at the dojo, Akane's family was truly impressed
by her progress in the Art. Watching Akane and Ranma spar
now was like watching an episode of Dragonball Z, minus the
massive collateral damage.
In Juuban, Hino Rei felt the massive surge of ki and was
very disturbed. After she did a fire reading, she was even
MORE disturbed. What kind of message from the Gods was 'Yeay!
Looks like Uncle Ranma's taking on a new student!!'?
At the Gates of Time, Sailor Pluto watched in horror as
the time stream fragmented, following many different paths,
almost none of which ended in Crystal Tokyo. No matter where
she looked, however, she couldn't see what was causing this,
and it wasn't even fragmenting from one point. It was almost
like... nah, no one is completely invisible to the Gates of
time, right? "What the hell is going on?!?"
-----------------
"Nabiki?" Ranma asked at the breakfast table.
"Yes, Ranma?"
"Could I ask you a favor?"
"What?"
After Ranma told her, Nabiki's mouth hung open in shock.
-----------------
Hino Rei was having a bad day. First, there was that odd
message. In and of itself, that was just plain wierd, not bad,
but then Setsuna told them about what was going on with the
time stream. When Rei told Setsuna of her fire reading, the
Time Senshi's reaction was totally uncharacteristic. Namely,
her face lost all traces of blood. In fact, Rei could swear
that she had heard Setsuna whisper "No..." before she
disappeared. Then there was that odd... incident. Flipping
open her communicator, she pressed a few buttons. "Guys,"
she said, "We need to talk."
-----------------
As the Inner Senshi sat around a table at Rei's shrine
(Usagi scarfing every piece of food in sight), Rei brought
their latest meeting to serious topics.
"Guys," said Rei, "You won't believe what happened
today."
"What?" asked Minako.
"Well, it started when I sensed a massive ki."
"How massive?" asked Ami.
"Two words. Planetary destruction."
Everyone gasped in shock. "Is that even possible?" Ami
finally managed to ask.
"Grandfather has told me stories of martial artists who
had enough strength of ki to actually throw it as a blast.
Until this morning, I never really believed it, but..."
"We understand," said Usagi in her Serenity voice. "Do
you think that this... person is a threat?"
"That's why I did a fire reading, but..." started the
confused shrine maiden.
"But what?" asked Makoto.
"Well, instead of a vision, as usual, I got a message."
"A... message?" Minako asked in confusion.
"Yes. And I quote: 'Yeay! Looks like Uncle Ranma's
taking on a new student!'"
"Uncle... Ranma?!?"
"Oh, it gets wierder."
"How?" asked Minako.
"Well, shortly afterwords, some girl came walking up to
the shrine, wanting to leave an offering."
"Oh?" said Ami.
"Yes."
"What's so unusual about that?"
"It was a gift-wrapped gallon jar of pomegranite ice
cream."
"Ice cream?! Sugoi!" Three guesses who that was.
Rei groaned. "So, she just put the thing down, complete
with a card that read-- and I quote -- 'Happy birthday,
Amaterasu!' and walked off."
"Okay," said Makoto, "That's odd, but why are you
telling us?"
"Because," replied Rei, "as she was leaving, a woman in
blue jeans and a t-shirt appeared out of a ray of sunlight,
yelled at the girl to thank her brother for the gift, and
promptly ate the ice cream. When she was done, she just
vanished into another ray of sunlight."
"That's... odd," said Ami.
"And then there was Pluto's reaction when I told her."
"PLUTO SHOWED UP?!?" replied all of the Senshi.
"Yes," Rei responded, "But when I told her, she was
horrified. It was..."
The Senshi meeting continued like many before it,
quickly degenerating into chaos.
-----------------
The cat looked up to his companion. "The senshi's views
of the unusual are pretty skewed, aren't they?"
"Perhaps, but remember that their only encounters with
Pluto so far have been in the Gates of Time, during the whole
Black Moon Family fiasco. Her showing is pretty unusual."
"True."
-----------------
"Ranma?" asked Nabiki.
"Yes?"
"Why was Amaterasu wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt?"
"She likes them. Why else?"
Nabiki groaned.
-----------------
That night, Ranma spoke to Akane. "Could I ask a favor?"
"What?"
"Well..."
After Ranma had finished explaining, Akane sweatdropped
heavily. "You've GOT to be kidding."
"Nope."
-----------------
Two days later, Ranma was trying to explain how to strike
from a distance to Akane.
"So you see, it doesn't matter where you punch. One
location is as good as another; you just have to transfer the
energy from your strike to-- Akane, what's on your mind?"
"Why are you doing this?" she asked impulsively.
"Doing what?"
"Teaching me!"
Ranma's face didn't show any sign of reaction. "Because
I want to," he replied.
"Huh?"
Ranma sighed. "This damn bracer... it... you know what
it was designed to do, right?"
"Yes, but what does that-"
"I never told you HOW it works. It operates on the mind
of the wearer. I... try... try to resist, but... the best I
could do is to... isolate my emotions from the rest of me. I
know how I feel, but I don't... actually feel it, for lack of
a better way to explain it."
"And..."
"Well, Akane, I enjoy teaching."
"What? But if your emotions are..."
"It's my way of compensating," he replied.
-----------------
"Poor, poor Ranma!" Akane wailed. She was sitting in
Nabiki's room with her sisters, and had just finished telling
them what Ranma had said.
"Hmm... this looks good," Nabiki said, looking up from
her copy of 'Torture Insturments of the Middle Ages'.
"Oh my," said Kasumi after looking at the picture.
-----------------
The cat turned to his companion. "Just how stupid does
Genma get?"
The silver-haired pseudo-god looked up. "You'll see," he
remarked.
-----------------
The next day, on the way to school, Ranma collapsed.
"Damn," he groaned, "It's starting."
-------------------
Next time, in The Art:
Our mysterious observers revealed!
More Genma-bashing!
The true horror of the Manacle of Hades!
More Genma-bashing!
The Senshi finally get involved!
More Genma-bashing!
Tuxedo Happi!
More Genma-bashing!
Nodoka!
And did I mention more Genma-bashing?
