The Art, Chapter 2

      By

      Aleh

      The silver-haired pseudo-god looked up at his feline

companion. "Do you see why I made that change?" he asked.

      "Not yet," the cat replied.

      "You will."

-----------------

      Things quickly settled into a routine in Nerima. Ranma

would go to school; Kuno would bug Ranma, thereby gaining a

new curse of some kind (up to and including baldness, a curse

which revealed a VERY interesting tattoo on the back of his

head), and Ranma would train Akane. The REAL fun, however,

didn't start for another week or so, when Ranma's friends

started to show up.

-----------------

      "Nekohanten?" said Nabiki, looking at the resturaunt

which had just opened less than a hundred yards away from her

house. Of the businesses that had opened recently, it was the

LEAST wierd. The Pheonix Bar And Grill (The sign was in English)

wasn't even the wierdest... even if the waitresses there had

WINGS. Ucchan's Okonomiyaki was owned by a girl who, if you

got her sufficiently angry, would hit you over the head with a

giant spatula, wrap you up in rubber yakisoba noodles, or throw

explosive tempura flakes into your face. Needless to say, people

who went there didn't cause much trouble. The resturaunt made up

for its... odd owner through one major virtue: their food was

BEYOND merely good. Of the other two resturaunts, the Dragoon

Cafe (Don't ask how they delivered their food) had a friendly

rivalry going with Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty, owner of

the neighboring Ryuusobaya. Women tended to avoid that one.

All of them had one thing in common: they were owned and

operated by people with grudges against Saotome Genma, most of

which had to do with his kidnapping of Ranma.

      "So, who ARE these people?" Nabiki asked Ranma.

      "Well, Ucchan is a childhood friend, from before I became

what I am today. Genma betrayed her back then. The Dragoons are

friends from another universe. I helped them out with a

little... problem. As for the Amazons, Hououzanjin, and Musk,

Genma was stupid enough to kidnap me from a diplomatic

conference I had arranged between the three peoples."

-----------------

      "Strike what I said earlier," said the cat, "He's beyond

merely stupid."

      "Told you so."

-----------------

      Genma's life quickly became hell. While no one was

willing to kill him, as doing so would leave Ranma in dire

straits, they had nothing against using the Full-body Cat's

Tongue, pain points, non-lethal poisons, or any of a hundred

other things. Genma was NOT happy. As he was lying on his futon,

Ranma and Nabiki were having another telepathic discussion.

      So, about that sister of yours, the one who found you...

      Yes?

      What was her name?

      Amaterasu.

      Nabiki was startled. A cry of 'Holy shit!!!' could be

heard across the town of Nerima.

      YOU'RE OMIGAMI AMATERASU'S YOUNGER BROTHER?!?

      Yep.

      Exscuse me a moment, she returned. From where he was

lying down, Ranma could hear Nabiki's voice trying to assure

Soun and Akane that she was alright.

-----------------

      "Okay... We've tried locking that moron in his cursed

form, shaving his fur, and tattooing 'I'm a dishonorable piece

of trash' on his butt. What next?"

      Dart and Herb looked at Ukyo slightly askew. "'I'm a

dishonorable piece of trash'?" Dart finally said.

      "Hey, it was the best I could come up with, okay?" Ukyo

remarked in her defence. "Besides, it's true."

      From where she was sitting, Xian Pu looked up. "Why no

sell moron to zoo? Can enroll in... what call it? Panda

breeding program?"

      Herb shot that idea down. "The zoos have no interest in

bald, tatooed pandas."

      Xian Pu pouted. "Circus, then?"

      Dart didn't approve. "Circuses travel. We need him

here."

      Xian Pu frowned. "Too, too bad. Maybe ask Hibachan."

      Saffron grinned. "The old ghoul? I thought she wanted

nothing to do with us."

      "No, no problem with wierd dragon-armored people or

spatula-girl. Only with Musk and Hououzanjin. Want rescue

Ranma very, very much."

      "Well, at least she has one redeeming quality."

-----------------

      Back at the dojo, Akane's family was truly impressed

by her progress in the Art. Watching Akane and Ranma spar

now was like watching an episode of Dragonball Z, minus the

massive collateral damage.

      In Juuban, Hino Rei felt the massive surge of ki and was

very disturbed. After she did a fire reading, she was even

MORE disturbed. What kind of message from the Gods was 'Yeay!

Looks like Uncle Ranma's taking on a new student!!'?

      At the Gates of Time, Sailor Pluto watched in horror as

the time stream fragmented, following many different paths,

almost none of which ended in Crystal Tokyo. No matter where

she looked, however, she couldn't see what was causing this,

and it wasn't even fragmenting from one point. It was almost

like... nah, no one is completely invisible to the Gates of

time, right? "What the hell is going on?!?"

-----------------

      "Nabiki?" Ranma asked at the breakfast table.

      "Yes, Ranma?"

      "Could I ask you a favor?"

      "What?"

      After Ranma told her, Nabiki's mouth hung open in shock.

-----------------

      Hino Rei was having a bad day. First, there was that odd

message. In and of itself, that was just plain wierd, not bad,

but then Setsuna told them about what was going on with the

time stream. When Rei told Setsuna of her fire reading, the

Time Senshi's reaction was totally uncharacteristic. Namely,

her face lost all traces of blood. In fact, Rei could swear

that she had heard Setsuna whisper "No..." before she

disappeared. Then there was that odd... incident. Flipping

open her communicator, she pressed a few buttons. "Guys,"

she said, "We need to talk."

-----------------

      As the Inner Senshi sat around a table at Rei's shrine

(Usagi scarfing every piece of food in sight), Rei brought

their latest meeting to serious topics.

      "Guys," said Rei, "You won't believe what happened

today."

      "What?" asked Minako.

      "Well, it started when I sensed a massive ki."

      "How massive?" asked Ami.

      "Two words. Planetary destruction."

      Everyone gasped in shock. "Is that even possible?" Ami

finally managed to ask.

      "Grandfather has told me stories of martial artists who

had enough strength of ki to actually throw it as a blast.

Until this morning, I never really believed it, but..."

      "We understand," said Usagi in her Serenity voice. "Do

you think that this... person is a threat?"

      "That's why I did a fire reading, but..." started the

confused shrine maiden.

      "But what?" asked Makoto.

      "Well, instead of a vision, as usual, I got a message."

      "A... message?" Minako asked in confusion.

      "Yes. And I quote: 'Yeay! Looks like Uncle Ranma's

taking on a new student!'"

      "Uncle... Ranma?!?"

      "Oh, it gets wierder."

      "How?" asked Minako.

      "Well, shortly afterwords, some girl came walking up to

the shrine, wanting to leave an offering."

      "Oh?" said Ami.

      "Yes."

      "What's so unusual about that?"

      "It was a gift-wrapped gallon jar of pomegranite ice

cream."

      "Ice cream?! Sugoi!" Three guesses who that was.

      Rei groaned. "So, she just put the thing down, complete

with a card that read-- and I quote -- 'Happy birthday,

Amaterasu!' and walked off."

      "Okay," said Makoto, "That's odd, but why are you

telling us?"

      "Because," replied Rei, "as she was leaving, a woman in

blue jeans and a t-shirt appeared out of a ray of sunlight,

yelled at the girl to thank her brother for the gift, and

promptly ate the ice cream. When she was done, she just

vanished into another ray of sunlight."

      "That's... odd," said Ami.

      "And then there was Pluto's reaction when I told her."

      "PLUTO SHOWED UP?!?" replied all of the Senshi.

      "Yes," Rei responded, "But when I told her, she was

horrified. It was..."

      The Senshi meeting continued like many before it,

quickly degenerating into chaos.

-----------------

      The cat looked up to his companion. "The senshi's views

of the unusual are pretty skewed, aren't they?"

      "Perhaps, but remember that their only encounters with

Pluto so far have been in the Gates of Time, during the whole

Black Moon Family fiasco. Her showing is pretty unusual."

      "True."

-----------------

      "Ranma?" asked Nabiki.

      "Yes?"

      "Why was Amaterasu wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt?"

      "She likes them. Why else?"

      Nabiki groaned.

-----------------

      That night, Ranma spoke to Akane. "Could I ask a favor?"

      "What?"

      "Well..."

      After Ranma had finished explaining, Akane sweatdropped

heavily. "You've GOT to be kidding."

      "Nope."

-----------------

      Two days later, Ranma was trying to explain how to strike

from a distance to Akane.

      "So you see, it doesn't matter where you punch. One

location is as good as another; you just have to transfer the

energy from your strike to-- Akane, what's on your mind?"

      "Why are you doing this?" she asked impulsively.

      "Doing what?"

      "Teaching me!"

      Ranma's face didn't show any sign of reaction. "Because

I want to," he replied.

      "Huh?"

      Ranma sighed. "This damn bracer... it... you know what

it was designed to do, right?"

      "Yes, but what does that-"

      "I never told you HOW it works. It operates on the mind

of the wearer. I... try... try to resist, but... the best I

could do is to... isolate my emotions from the rest of me. I

know how I feel, but I don't... actually feel it, for lack of

a better way to explain it."

      "And..."

      "Well, Akane, I enjoy teaching."

      "What? But if your emotions are..."

      "It's my way of compensating," he replied.

-----------------

      "Poor, poor Ranma!" Akane wailed. She was sitting in

Nabiki's room with her sisters, and had just finished telling

them what Ranma had said.

      "Hmm... this looks good," Nabiki said, looking up from

her copy of 'Torture Insturments of the Middle Ages'.

      "Oh my," said Kasumi after looking at the picture.

-----------------

      The cat turned to his companion. "Just how stupid does

Genma get?"

      The silver-haired pseudo-god looked up. "You'll see," he

remarked.

-----------------

      The next day, on the way to school, Ranma collapsed.

      "Damn," he groaned, "It's starting."

-------------------

      Next time, in The Art:

      Our mysterious observers revealed!

      More Genma-bashing!

      The true horror of the Manacle of Hades!

      More Genma-bashing!

      The Senshi finally get involved!

      More Genma-bashing!

      Tuxedo Happi!

      More Genma-bashing!

      Nodoka!

      And did I mention more Genma-bashing?