Can't Make You Love Me

Warnings: Shounen-ai references, and spoilers for Tokyo Babylon, especially the last couple of volumes. OOCness for Hokuto and Seishirou, some spoilers for X15.

Pairings: Seishirou/Hokuto, some Seishirou/Subaru, and some Kakyou/Hokuto


I'm dreaming of one kiss from you
A love long and true
We'll go on and on

When I woke the next morning, even before I opened my eyes, I sensed there was something out of place. I turned around, opened my eyes, and found Seishirou lying next to me, still asleep. That's when I finally realized it: I had betrayed my brother. I had slept with the man he loved the most in this world. I felt the tears starting to flow from my eyes, soaking into the pillow, and into Seishirou's chest. He suddenly woke up, only to finding me crying next to him. "What's the matter Hokuto-chan? Do you regret last night?" he asked, wiping my tears away with his hand. "I... Hai... I mean, no! I mean, I don't know! I didn't want to betray Subaru... I... I love you. But... he loves you too..." I said. Seishirou pulled me close to him, and held me while I wept. "Hokuto-chan... I love you, but I think I may love Subaru too..." I just cried in his arms, unable to move for a while. His words made sense, he loved me but he loved Subaru too, after all, we were twins. But the question I had in my mind was: Is it possible to love two people at the same time? I would take me a long time to find the answer.

I don't wanna hear that I'm too young
To know it's love that makes me feel this way

We got up, took turns in the shower, and then we packed our things, ready to go back to Tokyo. We were having breakfast at the inn, when I decided to ask Seishirou what had been on my mind since I woke up, or at least one of the things. "Seishirou... please, promise to me you won't tell what happened last night to Subaru. It would break his heart..." I said, the tears returning to my eyes. Sei-chan smiled and softly kissed me. "Don't worry Hokuto-chan, I won't tell him anything unless you allow me to." he said and went back to eating his breakfast. I just picked at mine, but in the end I ate it, I'm not a person who likes to waste food. As soon as we were finished, we went to the train station, to wait for the train that would take us back to Tokyo.

'Cause I don't have to feel the heat of the sun
To know it's shining on me every day

Subaru greeted us warmly when we were back. He was much better, though he still had a small cough. "Hokuto-chan! Seishirou-san! I missed you!" he yelled, and hugged us as soon as we entered the apartment. "We missed you too Subaru!!!!!!" I yelled back and embraced him tightly. Seishirou just smiled at him and also hugged him, which made my brother turn pink. "Awwwww, you two look so KAWAII together!!!!" I said, being again my usual self. That only made Subaru go a deep red, and he let go off Seishirou. "I... uh... Did you have fun on your trip?" he asked changing the subject, and going into a dangerous one. "Sure, the hot springs are lovely, plus it had beautiful gardens. Lots of sakuras in bloom." he said. Subaru looked somewhat disappointed, he probably expected an 'I miss you' from Seishirou. He seemed to sense this and continued, "But would have been lovelier if you'd been able to come along. Gotta take you there some other time." he said and winked at Subaru, who went all red up to his ears. I laughed at my brother. "Subaru don't be shy and accept his invitation! It's a great place for you two to be together!" I said, but then shut up before I said something I regretted. Subaru blinked at me but nodded shyly at Seishirou. Why did Seishirou and I have to be there alone? It wasn't right. It should have been Subaru and Seishirou, not Sei-chan and me...

When it's warm outside
And the look in your eyes

[ About a month later...]

I woke up at the sound of my alarm clock, it was Monday, so I had to get ready to go to school. But I woke up feeling somewhat sick to my stomach. I dragged myself out of bed and took a shower, hoping the wierd feeling would go away soon. I got out of the shower, got dressed, and went downstairs. Subaru was already making breakfast, but the smell of food made me feel sick again. I sat at the table and waited for my brother to finish. "Ohayou Hokuto-chan !! You, you look quite pale, are you feeling well?" he asked. "Sure, I'll be alright." I said with an almost weak smile. "Sure I'll be... excuse me." I said as I ran to the bathroom. Subaru waited for me outside the door. "Are you sure you're ok Hokuto?" he asked again. I leaned against the wall and opened the door. "No... I don't feel very well..." I answered. He put his wrist against my forehead to test for fever, but my skin felt cool to the touch. "Well you don't a fever, but maybe you should stay home for today... I'll tell the teachers you're sick and had to stay at home. Go back to bed and don't worry, I'm sure it'll pass." he said with an assuring smile. Just then Seishirou appeared, ready to go to his job at the veterinary. "Good morning Subaru-kun, Hokuto-chan. How are you today?" he asked cheerfully. "I'm fine, thank you Seishirou-san, but Hokuto feels sick, I told her to stay home today and rest." Subaru answered a bit shyly. "How nice of you Subaru-kun, don't you worry. Go to school and I'll see your sister goes back to be and take care of her if she needs something." Seishirou said. Subaru nodded, "Thank you Seishirou-san! I'll see you later or I'll be late! Hope you feel better soon Hokuto-chan!" he said as he ran to the door, and then to school.

Is longing to show me the way
I don't want to wait

I was leaning against the bathroom wall with my eyes closed when I felt a pair of strong arms lifting me off my feet. I opened my eyes to see Seishirou, looking worried, who was carrying me to my room. He placed me on the bed and asked: "Are you alright, Hokuto-chan?" I nodded and turned so I was lying on my side. "I'm ok Sei-chan, you should go to work." I said. He shook his head, "I promised Subaru-kun I'd take care of you, so I'm going to stay here and do just that." I sighed, I didn't want him to be here right now, it'd only make me feel worse for what I did to Subaru. "Ok, stay if you want. But I feel a little better so I guess there's no point." I said smiling, if a bit weakly. "Oh, it's no problem Hokuto-chan ! I wouldn't want you to get bored, and may happen once you feel better." I shrugged and lied down on the bed. "I think I'll just sleep for a while Sei-chan. I'm tired. You may go if you want." I said and turned my back to him, closing my eyes and falling asleep again.

Just one kiss from you, and suddenly
I see the road laid out in front of me

I woke up sometime later, which as it seemed was almost around noon. Why did I feel so tired? I must have been sicker than I thought. Still I felt much better now so I decided to get up and start cooking dinner before Subaru came home. I turned around and heard Sei-chan in the kitchen, making some tea. I got up and walked to the kitchen, more steadily than earlier. He turned around to face me: "Oh hi Hokuto-chan! I'm making some tea for you, I expected you to wake up about this time. How are you feeling?" he asked, concern showing on his face. "I'm much better now Sei-chan!" I said smiling as sat down on a stool and he handed me a cup of tea. "Drink it, it's soothing for your stomach." he said. I sipped at it and I did calm down my still slightly upset stomach.

"Do you know what caused you sickness Hokuto-chan?" he asked. I shook my head. "I have no idea, I felt really well yesterday." "Mmmmm... did you eat something different last night?" he asked thoughtfully. I shook my head again. "No, remember you stayed here for dinner and we all ate the same." I answered. "You're right. Maybe... Hokuto-chan, have you missed your period this month?" he asked me. I felt my face turn red at the question. "SEI-CHAAAAAAAN!!!! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK THAT!!!" He just held his hands up and said, "I meant no offense Hokuto-chan, I'm serious. Have you missed it?" I hadn't noticed until that moment, that I had indeed missed my period. I nodded "But why do ask Sei-chan?" He looked at me for a moment and then he answered. "Do you remember what happened about a month ago Hokuto-chan?" he asked. "I, uh, wasn't it when um, went to the hot springs?" I asked, blushing at the memory. "Well, I don't want to scare you Hokuto-chan, but what we did... I... I think you may be pregnant." he said.

You make me whole
And I don't know just what I would do
Without one kiss from you

I sat in the kitchen in shock, but what Seishirou had said made too much sense. "P-pregnant? But we... only once... can't be... I... you... Subaru-chan..." I couldn't say anything my mind whirling. He just looked at me, not knowing what to do, then he came and wrapped me in a tight embrace. "Hokuto-chan? I think we should go to a doctor, just to make sure. Your sickess could be cause by something else, but we should check to be sure." he said. "But... can't be... can't be... what will I tell Subaru? What will he think of me? Of us?" I started crying. I had hoped Subaru would never, ever find out I'd betrayed him. But if was pregnant it was something I wouldn't be able to hide it from him more than a couple of months. And when he noticed, he'd want to know who the father is. And that in case I was a coward not to tell him as soon as we got the results. And apart from what Subaru would think, there's also my grandmother, who'd probably be disappointed of me for "dishonoring the Clan". Of course I didn't know the truth about Seishirou then, but still i was pretty bad to have a child outside of marriage. I don't know how much time passed with me crying and thinking while Seishirou held me, but after a long time I disentangled from his embrace. "Maybe I should see a doctor... just to be sure..." I said wiping my eyes. I realized it was getting late, so I tried to prepare dinner, but my sickness came back, so I let Seishirou do it, while I got an appointment with the doctor.

I don't wanna hear my time will come
When it feels like it's already here

The next I got up early, feeling sick again, but I'd already told Subaru I'd go to see a doctor. I'd told Subaru I'd missed school again because I'd be seeing a doctor. He agreed and asked Seishirou to take me. That was really great, he was the first, and at the same time the last person, I wanted there. So he drove me and waited for me. The doctor would send me the results by next day. He gave me some medicines to calm my sickness. I went outside, where Seishirou was waiting for me. He held me, "Hokuto-chan, don't worry, it'll all be alright. I'll help you, I promise." I clung to him. And as much as I'd always dreamed of being his, I knew I was only second in his heart. Subaru was first and would always be first.

We should learn to walk before we run
But why go anywhere when you're so near

I went back to school the next day, the medicine the doctor gave me really worked. But as much as I tried I couldn't concentrate on anything but Seishirou, the results of the test, and Subaru. Worrying wouldn't help me, I'd told that to my brother countless times so I'd tried to stop. But I went back home the minute school was out for the day. I checked the mail, and there was the envelope I expected. I ran to my room in case Subaru happened to be home early and opened it there. I looked at the paper, the test was positive. I felt my tears start, not because I was expecting a child, but because the child would be born out of betrayal. I couldn't believe I did that to my own brother, his fragile heart would break. And Seishirou could or could not take responsability. I didn't care.

That night Subaru came home with Seishirou, and I greeted them as cheerfully as I could, though Seishirou gave me a confused look. I served dinner to both of them and we ate in silence. When dinner was over I decided it was time to tell Subaru, he needed to know. I was bearing a child from the man he loved, I just couldn't hide that from him. "Subaru, I have to talk to you." I said. "Nani ? About what ?" he asked and looked at Seishirou. "No, it's ok, Sei-chan should hear it too." I replied and walked to the living room, followed by both of them. I clinged to the papers on my hands. "Subaru, Sei-chan, I..." I didn't finished but instead handed the papers to Subaru, who looked at them, an expression of surprise appeared on his face. "Hokuto-chan ? NANI ? Is this TRUE ?" he asked. I nodded. Seishirou glanced at the papers, with no surprise apparent in his eyes. "I see." was all he said.

'Cause when I reach out to you
So sad and confused

"Hokuto-chan, please explain what is THIS? It can't be true, you're just 16 and you don't have a boyfriend." Subaru said, still not believing what he'd read. "No Subaru, it's true. That's why I've been feeling sick these past days." I said. "But then, who's the father, Hokuto-chan?!" "S-Sei-chan is the father. He... I... We... I'm so sorry Subaru!" I started crying and couldn't stop, not when I could see my twin's heart breaking into pieces before me. "S-Seishirou-san ? Is that true ? You... you did it ? How could you Hokuto-chan ? You're my sister! You know how I feel for Seishirou-san!" Subaru said, unaware of what he was saying. Seishirou looked at both of us, not knowing what to do. "Subaru-kun, I..." he started but was interrupted by Subaru. "Don't explain! I don't want to hear it! How could I be so stupid to think you'd ever love me! I should have known better, so now I'll leave you alone to deal with Hokuto-chan's and your problem. Oyasumi!" He was angry, like I'd never seen him before. He ran to his room, but not before I managed to see the tears in his eyes.

And feeling like I could cry
You dry my eyes

Several months had passed. Subaru had accepted it sadly after a few days and started talking to me again, because I needed him, he was my twin, and I couldn't have possibly lived thinking he hated me. Still, he refuse to talk to Seishirou, he didn't even want to see him. Seishirou had tried to talk to him several times, but Subaru refused, so he stopped trying. Instead, he took me to the doctor each month, and even bought some things for the baby. But still, I couldn't stop loving him, even if it had messed up our lives. Mine, Subaru's, and his. By this time, Subaru pointed out that I should go to Kyoto and tell Grandmother what had happened. Though she would be less than pleased. Seishirou offered to take me, but I refused. I didn't want to cause anyone anymore trouble that I already had, so Subaru would take the train with me.

Just one kiss from you, and suddenly
I see the road laid out in front of me

"Hokuto-san, Lady Sumeragi will recieve you now." one of the servants girls told me. I followed and found Grandmother sitting down on a cushion. Hokuto entered and bowed "Konbanwa Obaa-san." "Konbanwa Hokuto-san, what brings you here?" she replied as she looked at Hokuto critically, noticing what was the most probable reason for Hokuto's visit. "Well... obaa-san... you see... I'm expecting a child..." Hokuto managed to say, not able to meet her Grandmother's gaze. "I see. Even if I'm not too pleased with you having a child at this age, I shall say that at least now the family will have a heir, in case Subaru-san finds himself incapable of producing one of his own." she said, as always thinking about their duties in the Clan. Hokuto placed a hand on her stomach and nodded. "May I ask who is the father? And you plan to get married?" Lady Sumeragi asked. Hokuto played with the edge of her skirt. "The father is... Seishirou... Sakurazuka Seishirou... but for now we have no plans of marriage..." Hokuto said. "Is he the man who is Subaru-san's friend?" she asked. Hokuto nodded. Lady Sumeragi look thoughtful. "Let me feel the aura of your child." she said and walked to her granddaughter, placing her hand on Hokuto's stomach. She closed her eyes, and after a few moments, she took off her hand, still with a thoughtful look on her face. That child's aura feels strange... almost dark I would say... I need to investigate this Sakurazuka Seishirou... I think he may be... the Sakurazukamori. "Obaa-san? I-Is everything ok?" she dared to ask. "Hai, hai, of course. You may go now Hokuto-san. Take care of yourself and take care of your brother too."

You give me strength, you give me hope
And when you hold me in your arms

The months passed by quickly, in an uninterrupted routine. The day when my baby was due finally came. Four months ago I've been told I was expecting a girl, so I had gotten most of the stuff ready, with help from Subaru and Sei-chan. Subaru had gone out to a job and I was lost in my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door. It was Seishirou. I let him in and was about to prepare some tea when I start feeling labour pains. Seishirou took me to his car and drove me to the hospital. And from there he called Subaru, so he could come as soon as he could. I was taken to a room, Seishirou followed. And Subaru came later, though if it was 5 minutes or an hour after I had no idea. Before I knew it, my baby had been born and I held it in my arms. Subaru and Seishirou stayed with me for a while, and then went to tend the wounds Subaru had gotten in his job, but not before Seishirou asked "How shall we call her?" I thought about it for a while before answering "Hanako... Sumeragi Hanako." I said. He nodded and went outside.

You make me whole
And I don't know just what I would do
Without one kiss from you

I got out of the hospital after a few days, during which Seishirou had failed to come to visit me. Subaru had been absent for the first two days, but I thought it was due to his wounds. And when he finally visited me he was silent, depressed, and for some reason, guilty. As soon as I was back home I asked him what had happened when I was in the hospital. "I had gotten a few wounds during my last job, and... I had to stay in for a day. But a woman attacted me, she wanted my kidney to save a person she loved. And... Seishirou-san... he saved me... at the cost of one of his own eyes..." Subaru said, tears spilling down his face. "Oh no... Subaru..." I said and put Hanako on her crib. I hugged him, while we both cried, for Seishirou...

I'm dreaming of one kiss from you
A love long and true

Subaru and I went to visit Seishirou at the hospital. I took Hanako with me because I had nowhere to leave her. Seishirou was in a hospital bed, with bandages covering his right eye. "Sei-chan... I... I'm sorry..." I said. "Don't, I don't want your apologies nor your sympathy." he said in a cold, emotionless voice. "B-but Sei-chan...!" "I said I didn't want you feeling sorry for me! Go away, I don't want to see, any of you!" he said looking at Subaru, who let himself fall next to Seishirou's bed crying. "Seishirou-san! It's all my fault! You shouldn't have done it! I... I love you!" he said. Seishirou just smirked and looked at Subaru with his one good eye. "I did this for only a reason: I do not let anyone else harm what is mine. And you're mine Subaru-kun, you've been mine ever since you were just a boy. Just look at your hands and you'll see the proof." Subaru took off his gloves, his hands were shaking. And I finally saw the inverted pentagrams marked on them: the Sakurazukamori's mark. "No... then that means, you're... you're..." I said, not able to believe it. "Hai, I'm the Sakurazukamori, and as soon as I get out of here I'll kill you both and take my child to be my succersor." Seishirou said. "No! I won't let someone like you to lay a finger on any of us. Sayonara Sakurasuka Seishirou!" I said. I took Subaru's hand and let him out of the room.

We'll go on and on and…
I'm looking for one kiss goodnight

I was held in the arms of the man I loved, but not in any loving embrace. He was going to kill me, I knew it, and accepted it. I gave my life to him, because I wanted to protect the two persons who, aside from him, I loved the most: my brother Subaru and my daughter Hanako. I felt his breath so close to my face, one of his arms around me, his one good eye watching me, as an eagle watches it's prey before striking.I felt the tears builiding in my eyes as I looked at him, it disappointed me that he thought like that. "Seishirou... do you really hate us, the Sumeragis that much?" I asked sadly. He lifted my chin and gave me a soft, yet empty kiss, "No Hokuto-chan, I don't hate you. But you know why I have to kill Subaru-kun... And Hanako, well... she cannot be a Sakurazuka and Sumeragi at the same time, so she must die as well... As for you, my dearest Hokuto-chan, you're choosing to willingly give your life to me. I never wanted to kill you, really, but..." he let the sentence trail off, he lifted his free arm, ready to let it plunge into my chest, but before he did, I warned him. "Sakurazuka Seishirou, you have been cursed. May you ever try to kill Subaru or Hanako the same way you're killing me now, the spell will be reversed and you'll be the one to meet the ultimate ending..." I saw that arm, that hand starting to move in my direction. "Sayonara Sei-chan... aishiteru..."

To last all my life
On and on and…

[9 years later]

"I tried to stop him Hokuto, I swear I did. But... I couldn't get there in time. I wished I could have stopped him." a young looking man with long, blonde hair said, as he held me in his arms, as we both watched what destiny intended for Subaru and Seishirou. All of this happening in a Dreamscape he had created. "I know you did 'Kyou-chan, I believe you, but you could have never stopped him, because it was my Wish. I did it to save them, Subaru and Hanako. And to give Seishirou and Subaru another chance. But it seems it was in vain." Kakyou smiled at me warmly, "Maybe, maybe not... The future is not decided yet. Maybe destiny will help them this time..." he said. I looked at him and said, "You know, you're right... maybe... maybe it will all be alright this time..." I said as I leaned against his embrace. "Do you still love him?" he asked. "Hai... but not the way I loved him once... I just Wish for both of them to be happy and for Hanako too." I replied. "Aishiteru Hokuto-chan..." Kakyou said as he softly kissed my lips. "Aishiteru 'Kyou-chan..."

I'm looking for one kiss goodnight
To last all my life


Ohohohohohoho!!!!! I am evil. Anyways I hope you actually liked the ending of the story. XD Feedback would be very much appreciated.