Chapter 4 -- a Familiar Voice
Amelia was not surprised to find Cole sitting on the porch Tuesday night, staring at the sky. The Aurora Borealis was amazing at this latitude, and the absence of city lights made it that much more amazing. Even after years up here, Amelia was still rendered speechless by the phenomena. Her 'guest' was the same way. Three nights in a row he had fallen asleep out here, and she had been forced to wake him up and walk him inside. Every time, he had had tears in his eyes.
Sighing, she sat down next to him. "How's your head?" she asked gently, patting his knee.
Cole did not take his eyes from the hauntingly beautiful and strangely familiar sight above. "It hurts less when I don't try to remember." He dried his cheeks absently and glanced at her. "Has Jonathan found anything yet?" he asked hopefully.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry. It would help if you could remember more about where you live than that it's cold and dreary."
"I'm sorry, Amelia. It just..." He hit his forehead in annoyance. "My brain won't work right." He glanced at her, his brown eyes reflecting anxiety. "There's something wrong with me."
She sighed and nodded. In addition to the amnesia, he was still almost too weak to walk, was sleeping fourteen hours a day, and he seemed to be suffering from migraines as well.
"You need to see a doctor."
"No..." He shook his head, anxiety replaced by fear. "I can't."
"Why?" Amelia demanded in frustration, shaking her head.
He flinched away from her, startled. "I'm sorry..." he muttered in a low voice.
Amelia sighed and took a deep breath. Her initial assessment of the man as gentle and childlike had only been reinforced in the past few days. He was like no other man she had ever met. She could not find it in herself to be upset with him for his continued obstinacy. It was borne out of terror, she could tell. At some point, this man had been pretty badly abused by some medical professional somewhere, and she suspected that the experience was one of the few memories that he retained.
"It's okay. You don't have to be scared. I won't let anyone hurt you." She smiled reassuringly and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.
"Thank you..." he whispered, smiling at her.
She grinned back, patting his knee. He had a great body, admittedly, but it was far more like dealing with a five-year-old than like dealing with a grown man. There was a quality about him that was difficult to explain. As intelligent as he did seem to be, he was also incredibly child-like and innocent. It might only have been the amnesia, but she found herself doubting it for some reason.
"Any new memories today?" she asked gently.
"Dancing with Mel." He smiled, tears forming in his eyes. He closed his eyes and raised his arms as though holding a dance-partner. "Feels so nice to hold her..."
Amelia smiled faintly. "I'll bet it does. We'll have you back in her arms in no time."
He smiled. "Thank you."
She nodded and watched as he returned his attention to the Aurora Borealis. He was soon crying again. There was something vaguely charming about the way that he was able to shed tears without any shame. "You come out here every night and you look up there and you cry. Why?" she asked gently.
He looked back at her, smiling through his tears. "It reminds me of Mel." He touched his hand to his chest. "Here. It reminds me of what Mel has here."
He looked skyward again. He was relatively sure that the shimmer, pulsing lights reminded him of something else as well, but he was not sure what. A place, maybe. Home? No, home was with Mel. The lights reminded him of Mel. There was no reason that they should remind him of anything other than Mel. Mel, the only sure thing in his uncertain existence. His smile widened.
"Wow..." Amelia breathed, suddenly feeling a little teary-eyed herself. "Mel must be one hell of a woman and you... you must love her so much."
He nodded. "Yes."
It was not lost on her that almost all of his memories so far seemed to revolve around Mel. "Tell me about her."
He pointed skywards, to the shimmering, flicker colors there. "So much light and power and beauty..."
"What does she look like?"
"Her eyes are the same color as yours, I think, but her hair isn't black. It's blond, but not really… Um... I can't... there aren't really words."
"Mel, there aren't words in the English language to describe how you look..."
"Actually, Vic, there are several..." Cole supplied helpfully. "Pretty. Attractive. Beautiful..."
And still he could not remember her face. He sighed and shook his head, feeling so empty and alone. "Why can't I remember what she looks like?"
"I don't know." Amelia patted his knee lightly. "It'll come to you, I promise. Tell me more about her. Maybe we can jog your memory that way. What did you remember about her today?"
In fact, Amelia had been attempting this tactic since it had become clear that he was suffering from amnesia. At the end of the day, they would sit together and dissect every memory fragment, looking for something, anything to tell them who he was.
He sighed and nodded. "I remembered our first dance. I can even remember how she smelled. Like... lavender." He smiled and closed his eyes. "She had to teach me how, and... my heart was beating so fast, but it felt so nice." He sighed again, a happy sound, as he recalled how wonderful she felt in his arms.
Amelia, who was beginning to feel like she was intruding on something very private, nodded. "Do you remember where you were?" she asked, changing track slightly.
"Inside the bar." He smiled and nodded. "After we got back from the museum. It was already closed, so it was just us."
"The bar?" she repeated curiously. It was the first time he had mentioned a bar.
"We live... over a bar. Mel's bar."
Amelia nodded encouragingly. This could definitely be helpful in finding this guy's home. "What's it called."
Cole considered this for a few minutes. The name was special, meaningful to him for some reason, almost as if it should have been on the tip of his tongue. It also continued to elude him. As with so many things, thinking too deeply about it only increased the constant pain in his head. Still, he could not shake the feeling that, in this time and in this place, the name should be obvious. He tried to ignore the pain, to push through it, but it quickly became too intense to disregard.
With a sigh, he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Amelia."
"It's okay." She smiled reassuringly. It was, at least, a start.
"I'll... tell you if I remember it." Sighing, he returned his attention to the Aurora Borealis. It was such a beautiful and strange phenomena, almost as if the sky were on fire. Fire? Fire... He rubbed his mouth thoughtfully. "Fire... Star-fire... Home-fire..." He shook his head after each incorrect guess. None were right yet, but he would know.
Amelia watched curiously. He was approaching it very methodically. Trying a possibility, considering it, dismissing it, trying another. She remained silent, not wanting to intrude on his train of thought. If he could remember, it would be the first non-spontaneous memory he had recovered. Definitely a promising sign. And she could tell he was close.
"Something-fire... What? Wha..." He rubbed his mouth again, repeating the sound. "Wha... Which... Witch... Watch... fire. Watchfire?" A broad smile crossed his face. "Yes... The Watchfire." He nodded, satisfied in spite of the pounding headache he had managed to give himself.
"Watchfire?" Amelia repeated, smiling. "This is great... I'm going to go call Jonathan, okay?"
He nodded and smiled slightly as she rose and hurried back into the house. Maybe they could find Mel that way. He returned his attention to the Aurora Borealis and let his mind wander through the memory of their first dance. Had there been others?
He glanced across the crowded dance-floor, forgetting everything else when he saw Mel. How could any human look so beautiful? He made his way across the floor to her and she stood there, looking a little surprised and a little uncertain as he stepped closer and then lightly pressed his lips to hers. It felt as though his body was on fire, experiencing sensations in places and ways that he had not even known he was capable of experiencing them.
For a brief instant, expanded into an eternity for them, it was like they were the only two people in the room, the only two people in the entire universe. When they finally pulled away from each other, he kept one hand lightly on her throat and they stared at each other in awe for what seemed like another eternity.
Cole sighed deeply, brushing his fingers over his lips at the memory. Their first kiss. Amazing. Why had he waited so long? He simply savored the memory for several more minutes before examining it more closely. The location was unfamiliar, not one that he had any other memories of. Where had they been? And why? Another memory, seemingly related although he was not sure why or how, flooded his awareness.
"Name, please?" the man behind the desk asked.
"Cole..." he supplied.
"Hauser..." Mel added, smiling. "Mister and Mrs. Cole Hauser. We're newlyweds." Still smiling, she put her arm around Cole.
They had been married. That seemed so wonderfully, perfectly right. And he knew his name now. That meant that it would be very easy to find Mel now. Cole smiled widely, rising from his seat and hurrying into the house. Amelia was still on the phone.
"Hauser!" he announced breathlessly. "Cole Hauser. Mister and Mrs. Cole Hauser." He laughed and pulled her into a bear-hug.
"Okay. If you'll, um, put me down... I'll tell Jonathan..." Amelia found herself lifted several feet off the ground by the almost insanely cheerful man, her feet waving helplessly and her arms pinned against her chest. "Cole, put me down!" she ordered sternly.
"Oh, sorry." Smiling and shrugging, he gently returned her to the floor. He was smiling and so happy that he was almost hopping from foot to foot.
Shaking her head in amusement, she held the phone to her ear. Cole was acting exactly like a little boy on Christmas morning. "Still there, baby?"
"That sounded... interesting. 'Put me down'?" he repeated quizzically.
"John Doe has a name."
"You're kidding?"
"Not kidding." Amelia shook her head. Cole had wandered off again, no doubt to watch the Aurora Borealis some more. "His name is Cole Hauser."
"Cool... Tell you what, I'll drive to the Station tonight and get on this."
"Oh, would you?"
"Gladly. So... why exactly did you need him to put you down?" he teased.
Amelia laughed. "He was just a little excited."
"I should say so. I'll call you when I have anything."
"Thanks, baby. I love you." Amelia smiled and hung up the phone before going to find Cole.
***
"Oh, shit, you're kidding me?" Gwen was saying into the phone. "That is... beyond cool!"
Mel stared at her curiously as she entered the bar. No one had any right to be that excited at eight in the morning. What was Gwen doing here at that hour anyway? "Who are you talking to?"
She looked up, smiling widely. "Detective Parker. It's for you."
Mel nearly dropped her coffee. Only the look on Gwen's face kept her from expecting the worst. She took the phone cautiously. "Detective?"
"Good news, Miss Porter... We think we've found Mister Hauser."
"You think?" Mel repeated, frowning uncertainly. "What do you mean think? Is something wrong? Is he hurt? Is he..."
"Could you come down to the station?" Detective Parker's voice was cautiously neutral, but firm enough to indicate that she had no intention of talking about this over the phone.
That struck Mel as odd, and possibly foreboding. "Uh... Yeah. Just... let me get dressed, and I'll be... um, right down." She dropped the phone into its cradle, feeling scared and more than a little ill.
"I'll drive you..." Gwen offered. "You look kind of fried."
Mel smiled weakly and nodded. "Thanks, Gwen."
Mel quickly dressed and let Gwen drive her to the station. Together, they walked to Detective Parker's office. Gwen practically had to run to keep up with Mel. She found a bench and sat to wait while Mel walked inside. Vic was already there.
"Amnesia?" he asked, sounding dubious.
Parker nodded. "That is the... Miss Porter!"
Vic turned around quickly, looking guilty. "Mel! Hi..."
Mel looked from Vic to Detective Parker, her anxiety and trepidation increasing. "What?" she demanded of Vic.
Parker rose. "Miss Porter, we have, we think, found Mister Hauser."
"You think? What? Is he hurt?" Mel felt her throat tighten. Her head was swimming.
"Mel, sit." Vic held out a chair for her and waited for her to sit.
"He's not hurt..." Parker began.
"Oh." Mel sighed, allowing herself to be somewhat relieved. She still did not like the way they were skirting the issue, though. "Then, what's the problem?"
Vic sighed. "Mel, he seems to have developed some kind of amnesia."
"Amnesia?" Mel repeated, shaking her head. It took her a few moments to absorb that information. "Wait, you mean..." she trailed off, her jaw dropping. She raised one hand to her mouth and the other to her chest, too stunned to react otherwise. It was a good thing that she had already been sitting, because she doubted that her legs would have supported her just then if she had not been.
"Seems he only just remembered his name last night..." Parker explained gently.
"Amnesia?" Mel repeated, tears forming in her eyes. "Oh, my God... Where is he?"
"Alaska. Fairbanks. It's why they couldn't find him in Vancouver..." Vic told her.
"Is he okay though?" Mel asked, looking from Vic to Detective Parker.
Parker nodded. "He's not hurt as far as they can tell."
"They?" Mel asked, her voice taking on a slightly hysterical edge. God, if he was in a hospital...
Parker nodded. "A local woman is taking care of him. She happens to be engaged to a local cop who's been trying to find out where he belongs since Saturday."
Mel buried her face in her hands, not sure if she should be relieved or horrified. "But he's okay?" she finally asked, managing to keep her voice more or less steady.
Parker nodded again. "Yes. Vic, show her the picture. Just... as a formality."
Vic handed Mel a computer printout of a photograph. "The woman who's taking care of him, a Miss Munro, took this picture of him."
Mel nodded. "Yeah, that's Cole." Unless Troy Montana was unaccounted for as well. But the clothes were definitely Cole's, as was the quizzical expression he wore as he regarded the camera. "That's him. I... I need to get to Alaska..."
"Take it easy, Mel..." Vic told her.
"We're setting up a conference-call..." Detective Parker told her. "He's very eager to speak to you."
"I thought you said he had amnesia?"
"He does." Vic nodded. "You are one of the only things he does remember." He patted Mel's shoulder lightly. "You call if you need anything." With that, he left the office.
Mel stared after him for a minute, then back to Detective Parker. "He remembers me? What else does he remember?"
"Not a lot, apparently. Miss Munro says that he remembers almost nothing."
"Oh, God..." Mel muttered. It was hard to say how much he may or may not have remembered about who and what he was, but, if he really did not remember these things, then she needed to get to him before he did anything to compromise himself. "I really need to get to Alaska."
Parker nodded as her phone rang. "That is probably Detective Stiles now." She picked the receiver up. "Missing Persons, Detective Parker. Ah, Detective Stiles. Yeah, I've got Mel right here. Mel Hauser?" She looked up at Mel for a moment, her expression curious. "No, Mel Porter..."
Mel frowned in confusion, shrugging in response to the Detective's curious look. Shrugging, Detective Parker activated the speaker-phone.
"Miss Porter?" a male voice asked.
"Yeah. How is he? Is he okay? Is he there?" Mel asked the questions rapid-fire, not really giving him time to answer until she paused for breath.
"Not yet. Amelia's still trying to explain the speaker-phone to him."
Mel rubbed her forehead, wondering what the hell had happened to Cole and if the man who she was getting back was even going to be Cole. Without his memories, his personality might be totally different. Worse, it might be like starting from scratch with him all over again. She nodded gratefully as Detective Parker handed her a box of Kleenex.
"Okay..." Detective Stiles said. "We're ready on this end."
A female voice could be heard explaining gently, "No, you just talk normally."
"Like this?"
"Cole!" Mel gasped, instinctively leaning towards the phone.
"Mel? I've missed you so much..." Cole's voice was shaky.
"Are you okay?" Mel asked, wiping her eyes as she spoke.
"Yes, but I miss you. I want to come home." There was a slight pause. "Mel? Are you still there?"
Mel exhaled deeply. "Yeah, Cole. I'm right here. How are you?"
"I'm... I miss you, Mel."
"Oh, Cole... I miss you, too. I've been so worried about you."
"I know. You worry when I don't call. I'm sorry, Mel."
"Shh..." Mel said gently. "It's okay, Cole. Not your fault." She grabbed another tissue, pausing.
"Mel? Please... keep talking." Cole's voice sounded anxious.
Mel quickly composed herself. "I'm sorry, Cole. I'm still here. I... I am so glad that you're okay. I... I really don't know what I'd do if..." Mel muffled a sob in her hands.
"It's okay, Mel. Everything's going to be okay now." Cole sounded as if he might have been crying as well.
"I'm so glad you're okay, Cole. I... I..." Mel paused, not sure what else to say. "Oh, Cole..."
"Your voice is even more beautiful than I remembered."
That caught Mel by surprise. She stared at the speaker-phone with wide eyes. "God, Cole, your voice sounds pretty great to me, too..." she laughed through her tears. "Oh, I've missed you..."
"Can I come home, soon."
"Home." Mel sighed. Home, for Cole, would never be in Chicago. "What do you remember about home, Cole?"
"The Watchfire. You taught me to dance there... and... we live there, and I..." His voice broke and Mel could have sworn that she heard him groan softly.
"Are you okay, Cole?" Amelia and Mel asked at the same instant.
The reply was plaintive. "My head hurts. I'm sorry."
Mel sighed. "It's okay, Cole."
Amelia's voice could be heard. "She's right, it's okay... You're okay... Go get a drink of water and take a few minutes."
Mel let out a strangled sob. It was so wonderful just to hear his voice again. "Is he okay?" she asked the woman on the other end of the phone.
"He's been getting headaches and he's a little emotional, which isn't helping."
Cole was not the only one who was emotional. Mel barely managed to get the words out. "Thank you for taking care of him. I'll... I'll catch the next flight up there."
"Mrs. Hauser, I think we need to talk privately before you come up. I'm not sure you realize how much he's forgotten."
"It doesn't matter. I need to see him. Anything else can be taken care of once I'm up there."
"Okay. Look, let me give you my phone-number and you can call when you have a flight. We'll pick you up at the airport and you can stay at my place until you get back to Chicago."
Mel quickly scribbled down the phone-number. "Thank you. Thank you so much..." It was becoming hard to control her tears enough to be able to talk coherently, so she said, "Tell Cole... tell him that I miss him very much and that I'll be up as soon as I possibly can."
"Okay. I'll tell him that. You know, he loves you very much."
Mel sobbed and nodded. "I know... I… Me too..." Shaking her head, she rose. "I'm sorry, I can't..." Sobbing, she fled the room.
Gwen, who had moved to a bench much closer to the office door, was on her feet in an instant. She slid her arms around Mel and guided her to the bench. "It's okay... " she whispered. "It's going to be okay..."
"He doesn't remember a thing..." Mel sobbed as Gwen gently rocked her.
"He remembers you."
Mel looked up, startled. "You were eavesdropping?"
Gwen shook her head. "No. I talked to Detective Bruno on his way out."
Mel sighed. "What am I going to do?" she whispered.
"Have faith."
"You and your damn faith..." Mel muttered, shaking her head.
"Hey... You found each other. Nothing else matters right now. When he is back in a familiar setting, I am sure that his memory will come back."
Mel looked up at her uncertainly. "That a professional opinion?"
"It is." She nodded. "A familiar setting will jog his memory. Once the pieces start falling into place, it's only a matter of time..." Gwen assured her, hoping that she was right.
Mel sighed and nodded. "Okay."
"Okay, let's get you home. I'll make you another cup of that tea and you can get yourself together while I call the airport and get tickets for you. How's that sound?" She smiled reassuringly at Mel.
Mel sighed, wanting to be reassured. "Sounds good."
"Okay, then." Gwen rose and helped Mel to her feet. "Let's go."
