Chapter 5 -- Remembrances

"Hey, how're you holding up?" Amelia asked gently.

"Hey, how're you holding up?"

Confused, "I'm not holding anything up, Mel."

"I... feel like I miss her even more now." Cole sighed. "I don't know. I'm still very confused, Amelia."

"I know you are." She nodded understandingly and walked into the kitchen. "You hungry?" she asked, picking up a knife and pulling a few carrots from the fridge.

He shrugged. "I guess."

She looked over her shoulder as she chopped. "Mel's coming up on the next available flight."

Cole smiled. "That's good. How long?"

Amelia smiled. "She'll be here tomorrow afternoon. We're going to meet her at the airport." Her smile widened at the eager look on his face. "See, I told you we'd find her."

Cole smiled. "Yes, Amelia, you did."

"Hey, could you-- Jesus!" Amelia gasped as the knife she had been chopping with slipped in her grasp, neatly slicing off the tip of her right index finger. "Christ!" she added, grabbing her hand and looking around for a towel to staunch the flow of blood.

Cole stared, shocked and uncertain how to react.

"Get me a towel or something..." Amelia managed, although she was pretty rapidly growing light-headed.

She must have nicked an artery or something, she decided, not sure if fingers even had arteries. Either way, she had taken off easily a quarter of an inch of finger and the blood-loss was considerable. In spite of the pressure she was applying, the blood continued to flow freely from what was left of her finger. There was no way in hell she was going to make it to a hospital before she passed out.

Cole grabbed a towel and held it tightly against her hand, his eyes wide with anxiety. "Is it bad?" he asked uncertainly.

"I don't..." She hazarded a glance under the towel and wretched. She could actually see the bone. Leaning against the counter, she nodded. "Bring me the phone..." she muttered, taking deep breaths. The towel was already soaked and starting to drip on her already blood-splattered clothes. Counter and floor were both covered in blood.

Cole turned to get the phone then turned back, frowning curiously, and almost thoughtfully, at her hand. There was something...

"Cole!" Amelia snapped, trying to get his attention.

They were stuck in a traffic-jam. He would never be able to make it in time this way, but he might be able to if he walked, and he told Mel so. Then he saw her bandaged hand for the first time. She had hurt herself.

"Give me your hand, Mel..." he said, extending his own.

Watching her in concern, he unwrapped the hand and held it between his palms. A pale golden glow seemed to emerge from between his hands, bathing their faces. The look of wonder on her face was breath-taking, the golden glow that bathed it seemed only to add to her natural beauty. He released her hand and she held it up, examining it in surprise. The cut was healed. There was not even a scar to indicate that she had been hurt. She looked at him lovingly and reached out to touch his face...

"Cole!" Amelia repeated frantically.

He extended his hands. "Let me see."

She shook her head, startled by the request. The room was spinning, and she was having trouble staying upright. "Take my word that it's bad and get the God-damned phone!"

Cole shook his head and gently took her hand in his, unwrapping the blood-drenched towel and letting it fall to the floor. Clasping her hand firmly between both of his, he closed his eyes and concentrated on the previous memory, hoping that would be enough. He heard Amelia gasp and opened his eyes in time to see the glow between his hands fading. He released her hand and wiped his own bloody hands on his jeans, staring at her in confusion. What had he just done? And how?

Amelia flexed her hand cautiously. Amazingly, her finger was completely healed. Not so much as a scar indicated that she had ever hurt herself. "What the hell was that?" she breathed, staring at him in awe.

He shook his head in confusion and took a few backwards steps away from her. "I don't know."

"Cole. How did you do that?" she asked gently, staring at him with wide, wondering eyes. Cole, sweet, gentle Cole, could heal with a touch. It was amazing beyond words, some kind of miracle.

Cole stared at the floor, intimidated by her close scrutiny. "I don't know." He frowned and rubbed his forehead, tears in his eyes. "I don't know..." he repeated, more than a little scared by his own actions. Whatever he had done, it was not normal and he wanted no part of it.

"Who are you?" Amelia breathed, still staring at him. "What are you?"

What indeed. Some kind of angel in human form? Just a man who happened to have this extraordinary gift? Not a man at all? Whatever he was, her respect and regard for him only increased. She supposed she should have been a little scared, or at least unsettled, but she could not find it in herself to be anything but quietly amazed. Whatever he had done, however he had done it... it was a good thing, nothing to be afraid of. She had felt that as surely as she had felt the soothing heat that had accompanied the healing touch.

Cole shook his head. "I don't know..." he whispered, shaking his head. He turned to leave, but Amelia stepped in front of him. "Please..." he murmured, shaking his head again.

Her mothering instinct over-rode her sense of awe and her desire to know more about what had occurred. He was scared now, and that needed to be addressed before she was going to get any answers. "It's okay..." she whispered gently, lightly caressing his face. "You do not have to be afraid."

Cole whimpered softly, shaking his head. His thoughts were confused and chaotic. Foremost among them was a truly disturbing one, a quiet certainty that there was something in what he had just done that had the potential to keep him and Mel apart. He could not state it any more clearly to himself, or even really understand why he should believe this. He only knew that he did believe it, and it made him feel empty inside.

Whatever he had done... there was some dark secret connected to it, something that no one was supposed to know, something dangerous. He did not know what that secret could have been, but he did know that it frightened him and made him worry about living his life without Mel. Whatever it was, it set him apart somehow, when all he wanted was to be normal and to have Mel.

Amelia patted his cheek gently and spoke soothingly. There were times when dealing with this man was exactly like dealing with her own son, any child. As a result, she knew exactly how to behave and what to say to reassure him.

"It's okay, Cole. No one's mad. No one is going to hurt you. You're okay. Everything is okay..." she kept her voice low, reassuring, and certain. Like a child who placed unconditional trust in a parent, Cole would believe it if he believed that Amelia believed it.

He nodded slowly. "I'm scared..." he whispered. Although this was not exactly what he felt, it was the closest he could come to describing the heart-wrenching sense of aloneness he felt when he thought of the secret and its ability to keep him and Mel apart. He looked at Amelia, his eyes begging her for an explanation, a justification of what had happened, for some reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

"I know you are." She took him by the arm and led him into the bedroom, sitting him on the edge of the bed. This was big, and, judging from his horrified reaction, possibly dangerous as well. Maybe it would just be better to bury it the same way she had the other secret. Just forget that it ever existed and carry on with life. "Would you feel better if we kept this our little secret?" she asked gently. And why not? After all, it was not the only secret they shared, even if he honestly seemed to have forgotten the other.

He nodded slowly. "Yes..." he whispered. No one else had to know, that was good.

She smiled maternally at him. "Thank you, Cole, for helping me."

"I don't know how I did..."

"How did you know you could?" she asked, curiosity overwhelming.

He shrugged and shook his head, not really wanting to talk about it. "My head hurts again..." he muttered, rubbing it. "Really bad this time." In fact, it felt as though it might split in two.

Amelia sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you what. I've got some Vicodin around here somewhere. I'll give you one and you go right to sleep, okay? You'll feel lots better when you wake up. Okay?"

He nodded. "What's Vicodin?" he asked.

"It's a painkiller." She riffled through her drawers until she found the bottle, left over from a recent biopsy. She had three left of the ten they had given her. She handed one to Cole. "Take that, then lie down. It'll make you tired."

"I'm already tired..." he muttered, taking it. "I'm always tired." That, frustratingly enough, was true, but now he felt even more tired than usual. All he wanted to do was to curl up in the dark and allow oblivion to overtake him.

"I know, Cole." Amelia smiled reassuringly, knowing exactly how to comfort him. "Listen to me. When you wake up, we're going to get into my car and we're going to take a drive. And when we're done with that drive, you will get to see Mel again. How does that sound?"

He smiled at her and pulled his shirt off. "It sounds very nice."

"You sleep tight, Cole." She smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "And if you need anything at all tonight, you come and you get me. Okay?"

He nodded. "Yes, Amelia." Smiling at the thought of seeing Mel again, he finished undressing and climbed into bed.

Amelia left the door half-opened and leaned against the wall, considering what to do about what had just happened. Staring down at her bloodstained shirt and pants, she no longer found it possible to deny exactly what she had seen in the clearing. Whoever or whatever Cole was, he was something very special indeed. Her first thought was to call Jonathan and tell him everything. Of course, he would believe none of it, and even if he did, what then?

She recalled Cole's terror at the mere mention of the word 'doctor', and, perhaps, one too many sci-fi movies and government conspiracy shows. She could not help but wonder if he had been subjected to some brutal battery of medical experiments at some point, either causing his powers or studying them. To tell anyone about these abilities was to invite a repeat of such torture. She could not do that to him.

She considered calling Mel, but dismissed that as well. This was not something to be discussed over the phone, especially as she had no clue if Mel knew anything about the man's amazing ability. Better to discuss it with Mel face to face. Since Mel was staying at least one night, there would be time. Yes, she decided, she would discuss it with Mel when she arrived. Just maybe Mel would be able to provide Amelia with some insight, or, at the very least, some confirmation.

Feeling as though she had fallen through the rabbit-hole on her walk Friday, Amelia returned to the kitchen to mop up the blood before it dried.

***

"What if I don't recognize her?" Cole muttered anxiously to Amelia. The thought was painful beyond words.

She slid an arm around his shoulders and patted him on the knee. "It's okay if you don't. She'll recognize you, no matter what."

He nodded slowly. "I just wish she was here..."

Amelia glanced up at the monitor with the flight announcements. "They're disembarking now."

Sure enough, people began pouring out of the gate. Amelia searched the faces in the crowd, wondering which one belonged to the woman who inspired such strong feelings in this amazing man. She did not have to wait long. A woman in a red and orange sweater stepped off the ramp and immediately stopped, scanning the crowd. Amelia heard a strangled sob from Cole as he rose and started slowly towards her. Mel saw him, let out a sob of her own, and closed the distance between them at a run. To Amelia's surprise, instead of running into each other's arms, they stopped about two feet from each other.

"Mel?" Cole whispered, caressing her throat. He had remembered that she was very, very beautiful, but the reality was, indeed, beyond words. So much light and power and beauty resided within her, carefully hidden from the casual observer, but more than obvious to Cole.

"Oh, God, Cole!" Mel sobbed, resting her hand against his chest. He looked fairly ill, as Amelia had told her he did, and she was still not sure about the state of his memory, but those gorgeous brown eyes that regarded her so earnestly... that was definitely Cole, exactly as she remembered him. "I was so worried..."

"I've missed you so much..." he breathed, tears in his eyes.

Mel smiled at him through her own tears, shaking her head. "Oh... don't cry... It's going to be okay now."

He nodded. "Yes." With a laugh, Cole pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest. "Mel..." he breathed, inhaling that lavender scent that was exactly as he remembered it. "Mel, Mel, Mel, Mel..." he repeated over and over like a mantra.

Dropping her overnight bag, Mel clung to him, laughing and crying, feeling like her heart might explode from joy. Every anxiety she had had about his amnesia was gone, replaced by joy that he was okay and he remembered her. "Cole..." she breathed. "I've missed you." She could have held on to him forever, but then she saw the woman who was lingering a few paces away from them, trying to look inconspicuous. "Is this Amelia, Cole?" she asked, pulling away and regarding the woman to whom she owed so much.

He nodded and took Mel's hand, leading her to Amelia and smiling. "And this is Jonathan..." he added, nodding to the Detective as he approached.

Cole held on to Mel's hand as she exchanged greetings and introductions with the two and thanked them both profusely. He never wanted to let her go again. Smiling, Mel slid an arm around his waist and leaned into him as Amelia walked them to the car. Until she saw him that first time, she had been having trouble convincing herself that everything really would be okay. Now she had trouble believing anything else.

"I'd offer to take the two of you out to lunch, but after that flight you probably aren't up to it anyway."

Mel shook her head. "No, not really. I just want to... get reacquainted." She smiled and nodded, once more feeling anxious, wondering how much Cole recalled. Would he still be the same gentle, wonderful man she cared so much about? He certainly seemed to be, but so much remained to be seen.

"It's understandable." Amelia nodded and left the two long enough to say goodbye to Jonathan before rejoining them. "I'm afraid it's a bit of a long drive..." she told Mel as they climbed into the car. Mel and Cole climbed into the back seat together, holding hands like young lovers. "Sorry about that."

Mel grinned. "Hey, that's okay. If you didn't live that far away from the city, you would never have found Cole."

Amelia smiled and nodded. "True. I'd say we all lucked out there. He's one hell of a catch, Mel."

Mel blushed and bowed her head. "Yeah, well..."

Catch? Well, she supposed she had technically caught him. After having him dropped in her lap. It had been insanity on her part to take an almost-naked, incoherent stranger into her car on a deserted roadside, but at the time it had hardly seemed like she had any other choice. She could hardly have left him out there alone, in that state.

So she had given him a change of clothing and a ride into town. And then a room for the night, one night. And then a safe base of operations. And then her help. And then her friendship. And finally her love. Her smile became pained.

Amelia, mistaking it for embarrassed, smiled and deferred. "I'm sorry. I'll stop teasing now."

She plugged a CD into the player and shifted the car into gear. Mel and Cole spent the drive in complete silence, staring at each other. After a while, Mel slid closer to Cole and leaned against him, sliding her arms around him. Cole smiled and slid his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head and closing his eyes. Mel sighed happily and nestled closer. Things did, occasionally, have a habit of working out for the best. She suddenly found herself very, very hopeful. But then, Cole often had that effect on her.

Amelia occasionally glanced at them in the rearview mirror, curious. For all their obvious love for each other, they were not particularly physically demonstrative. Mel took almost an hour to get comfortable enough to move close to him. Before that, they just kind of stared at each other, lost in thought. Cole was wearing the most radiant smile Amelia had ever seen on anyone. Mel's look betrayed both relief and worry, an odd combination, but one Amelia understood.

Still, there was something odd about the way they interacted. Cole was endearing but clumsy, for lack of a better word, with his affections, as though long out of practice. Mel, even when she was in his arms, maintained a level of reserve that did not really correspond to being a man's wife, or even, really, his lover. Still, their affection for each other was obvious and intense, an odd contrast to their behavior. Odd...

***

"That was wonderful..." Mel told Amelia as they cleared away the dishes.

"Hey, it's nice to have company to cook for a change." Amelia smiled. She glanced at Cole who was yawning. "Tired, Cole?"

He nodded. "But I want to stay up. I want Mel to see the lights in the sky."

Amelia smiled and nodded. "Okay. I'll finish up in here. You two kids go have fun."

Amelia mentally chided herself for calling them 'kids' when Cole was obviously older than she was, and Mel not much younger. Still, they behaved very much like young lovers, and the term seemed strangely appropriate to them, maybe because of their seeming innocence. It reminded her very much, in a pleasant way, of her courtship with her deceased husband. They made a sweet, lovely couple, and Amelia hoped that they would have nothing but happiness together.

Cole took Mel's hand and led her from the house. "It's so beautiful, Mel. It reminded me of you..." he told her, eager and excited to share such beauty with the woman he loved.

Mel caught her breath as she took in the Aurora Borealis. She had only ever seen it on television before, and that completely failed to do it justice. The lights, in more intense, immediate color than she would have thought possible, flickered and pulsed rapidly in the sky. No work of art she had ever seen compared to the natural spectacle unfolding above her. It stirred up something deep within her being that she could not really explain, except to say that it was so breathtakingly, hauntingly beautiful that it brought tears to her eyes.

"It's so beautiful, Cole..." she whispered as they stood watching it.

"Yes, it is beautiful." He smoothed away a stray tear as it slid down her cheek, ignoring his own. He could not imagine having ever felt this happy before in his life. "Like you." He rested his hand over her heart. "Like this." He pulled her gently into his arms and lowered his head towards hers.

Mel felt her heart skip a beat at this. "Cole..." she whispered, shaking her head. He was about to kiss her. Why? Mrs. Hauser... Of course. He thought they were married and he wanted to act that way, less than a month after he had told her that they could never have a physical relationship. Just when she had thought that life could not get any more unfair...

He brushed two fingers over her lips, quieting her. "Just watch..." he breathed in her ear before dropping his head and kissing her throat.

Mel groaned softly, leaning into him with her body but pushing him away with her hands. Her head was spinning. She was torn between a desire to push him away and explain the relationship they had, the relationship that he had insisted upon, and a desire to just take the gift of his love for as long as he remained willing to give it. The first was painful, the second dishonest. Mel shook her head, tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong, Mel?" Cole asked gently, drying her eyes and pulling her into his arms.

Mel accepted the hug gratefully. It was the kind of thing that friends did to comfort each other. She hung on to him and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Cole. It's just... I'm a real basket-case right now."

"Basket-case?" Cole repeated uncertainly.

"I'm more than a little confused and upset." She smiled reassuringly at him. "It's okay, Cole. We're going to be okay."

He smiled and nodded. "I know, Mel."

She felt his knees buckle slightly and reached up to support him. "Are you okay, Cole?" she asked gently, walking him to the porch-swing.

He nodded and sat down, smiling apologetically. "I've been a little weak."

"Aw, poor Cole." Mel sat down next to him, smiling reassuringly. "Don't worry. We'll get you home and have you back in shape in no time."

He smiled at her. "I'd like that. I like it here very much, but I want to go home." Home... with Mel. Just the two of them together. Nothing, nowhere, could be as beautiful as that. When he had first awoken in Amelia's bed, he had been confused as to where home was, perhaps a product of his blow to the head, for there could be no doubt anymore. Home was with this amazing woman, and it was not cold and dreary because Mel brought warmth and light.

Mel nodded. "Yeah, me too."

"It'll be nice to have things like they were." Cole smiled at her.

Mel sighed and nodded. "Yeah."

He frowned slightly. "Cheer up, Mel." He smiled at her. "It'll be okay."

She nodded and gave a forced smile. "I know, Cole."

They sat together in silence for several minutes. Mel's mind raced, trying to figure out what she was going to tell Cole about their relationship, and when. Obviously he could not be allowed to continue to think that they were married, especially if he planned on going any farther than kissing her, assuming he even knew how to go any farther than that... But how was she supposed to tell him that they were not married? He had to have been remembering the recent seminar that they had attended undercover, but why was his memory being so selective? It was almost as if he had deliberately screened out anything about the assassins they had been pursuing.

Perhaps all he really wanted to remember was them, together and happy. Mel, who had almost given up on any serious hope of there ever being anything between the two of them, found this thought obscurely reassuring. For all the restraint she displayed around Cole, she still loved him very deeply and wanted to be with him very much. The problem, of course, was his mission on earth. As long as that was there, they could never be.

She wondered how much he remembered about his mission. No mention of it yet from him. There was only one way to find out.

"So, how'd things go with Ansen?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"Who?" Cole asked, glancing quizzically at her.

"You were up here to see him. On business..." Mel prompted gently.

"Business?" Cole rubbed his forehead, the damned headache was back. He had not been troubled by it all day, perhaps because he had been too busy enjoying Mel's company to try to remember anything, but now it was worse than before. "Don't... I don't know, Mel." He shook his head.

"Do you remember what you do?" Mel asked softly, worried. Forgetting the name of a fugitive was one thing, but he seemed more than a little clueless as to what constituted 'business', and that had her worried.

Cole considered the question for a minute, ignoring the rising tide of pain in his head until he had to close his eyes again. He shook his head. "Don't remember..." he said softly.

"Are you okay?" Mel asked, worried.

"Sometimes when I try to remember things my head hurts."

"So you really don't remember anything?" Mel asked, frowning. That was not good. Where was she supposed to start? And how?

He opened his eyes and smiled lovingly at Mel. "I remember you."

"But nothing about your job?"

He shook his head. "No, Mel. Why?"

Mel sighed. He had to remember. After London, it was clear that there was probably a lot more at stake than 218 escaped criminals. "Do you think you could try to?" she asked gently. "For me?"

Cole nodded. If it was important to her, he would try to ignore the pain. He closed his eyes and took her hand. "Ansen?" he repeated the name.

Mel nodded. "Yeah."

Cole inhaled deeply. Ansen. He repeated the name in his mind, searching for some meaning or connection and ignoring the slowly building pain that developed as he did so. Ansen was... it was on the tip of his tongue, but he could not remember. The harder he tried, the worse the pain became, but he persisted. It was almost like ramming his head against a brick wall, but he felt that he was almost through, so he kept searching his mind, relentless.

Abruptly, the pain exploded, becoming more severe than anything that he had ever experienced. It was agonizing, blinding. Releasing Mel's hand with a cry, he doubled over, falling from the swing to the porch.

"Oh, my God, Cole!" Mel gasped, dropping to her knees next to him as he rocked on his knees, clutching his head and hissing in pain. "Cole, what's wrong?" she asked, wrapping her arms around him, not sure what else to do.

"Hurts..." he groaned, leaning into her.

"Shh... It's going to be okay..." Mel muttered, feeling frantic. He was shaking like a leaf and obviously in a tremendous amount of pain.

Having heard his cry, Amelia was on the porch moments later, kneeling next to Mel and muttering soothingly to Cole.

"Has this happened before?" Mel asked her, hugging Cole closer.

"Yes, but never this bad."

Cole drew a number of deep breaths, mastering the pain enough to speak weakly. "I think I'll feel better if I can get some sleep."

"Sleep, Cole?" Mel repeated. Sleep? He was sleeping now? What had happened to him? Whatever had caused this amnesia had obviously caused other problems as well...

He nodded, not noticing the surprise in her tone. "I'm really tired, Mel. I probably should have gone to sleep earlier."

Mel shrugged and rose, helping him to his feet. If he needed sleep, he needed it. She could worry about why later. With Amelia's help, she got him to the bedroom, undressing him while Amelia found another pain pill. The pill itself worried Mel, more because she was not sure what it would do to him than anything, but both Cole and Amelia acted as though they had gone through this before, so she pushed that concern aside in favor of a more general concern for him. As Amelia left, closing the door to afford them some privacy, Cole swallowed the pill and lay back on the pillow with a groan, reaching for Mel's hand. Mel took his hand and lightly caressed his forehead. Cole sighed quietly and rolled onto his side, resting his head and one hand on Mel's leg.

"Mel..." he breathed, enjoying being this close to her.

"Don't worry, Cole. You're going to be just fine..." she whispered weakly.

She was still more than a little shaken by what had just happened, too shaken to consider the implications yet. There was still too much that she simply did not know. She sat with him until he slept or passed out, she was not sure which. Sighing, she smoothed the hair out of his face and, after several minutes, gently returned his head to the pillow. Unaware that she was crying, she bent over and gently pressed her lips to his before rising and leaving the room.

Amelia was in the living-room, staring out a window into the darkness outside. "How is he?" she asked, pouring Mel a cup of coffee.

"Sleeping or something." Mel accepted the coffee with a grateful nod. "Thanks."

"Yeah. Sleeping 'or something'?" Amelia repeated, glancing at Mel. It was a strange thing to say. "I think we need to have a long talk about your friend." She had wanted to have a long talk about Cole before Mel had flown up. Now was as good a time as any.

Anxious, Mel nodded and sat down, wondering what, if anything, this woman knew about Cole's condition... or his identity. She stared at Amelia with what she hoped was a neutral expression. As vulnerable as he obviously was, it was entirely possible that Cole had given some very strong indications that he was more than he seemed to be. Alone with Amelia for so long, not knowing any better... anything could have occurred.

"Sure..." Mel said, trying to sound casual.

Amelia sat down opposite Mel. "Who is he, Mel?"

Noting Mel's startled expression, Amelia added gently, "What is he?"