A PN Christmas Carol
On a normal day in December, Mr. Matthew Harty was counting all the NP he made from his shop, Harty and Omni's. His clerk, Ernie Breast, was doing the same. They continued doing this in a dark room lit only by a small fire until they heard a cheerful voice. "Merry Christmas Matt! God save you!" It was his nephew, NightRanger. "Bah!" Said Harty, "Cheese Poo!" "Christmas Cheese Poo, Matt?!" Said Harty's nephew, "You didn't mean that, I'm sure?" "Well I do!" Said Matt, "Merry Christmas...Why be merry? You have hardly no NP!"
"Well," Night replied, "Why be so dismal? You have more neopoints than the rest of the city put together!" Having no comeback to that, Harty simply replied with another "Bah! Cheese Poo!" "Don't be so cross, uncle!" Said Night. "You are all fools! Christmas is no time to be merry. You find yourself a year older, but not an hour richer, and thus you cannot pay bills for your neohome!" He shouted. "If I could, I would make anyone who said Merry Christmas boil in their slushies and have a stake of holly through their hearts! They should!"
"Matt! ¬¬" Night said. "Now leave me alone, and much good may this Merry Christmas do to you! Much good has it ever done!" Matt Harty shouted with rage. "There are many things I have not profited from I still think as good." Night said calmly. "Christmas is one of them. And though it has never put a bottle of sand in my pocket, it is a time that is charitable and kind. Therefore, I think well of it, and it has done me good, and will, in times to come. So I say God Bless it!" Ernie applauded at this involuntarily, but soon noticed the impropriety of it.
Harty scowled. "Another sound from you, Erma, and you're out of the job! Now," Turning to his nephew, "You are a fine speaker. You should run for parliament." "Will you come dine with us, uncle?" Night asked. Matt rolled his eyes. "Why in the world did you get married?!" He asked. "Because I fell in love!" Night said. "Love! Ridiculous! You fell in love?!" He said almost as if that were the only thing crazier than Merry Christmas. "Good night!" "Matt! You never talked to me before I married, why use it as an ecscuse to not see me now?" "Good night!" "Geez, Uncle, why can't we be friends and relatives?" Night said. "GOOD NIGHT!" "Well Merry Christmas anyways..." "GOOD NIGHT DAMMIT!" "And a happy new year!" "Just go -_-;;" So Night left, slamming the door.
As his nephew Night left, two others came in. "Harty and Omni's, I believe. Are you Omni or Mr. Harty?" Said one. "Omni has been dead 7 years. 7 years tonight." Harty said, frowning. "I am sure he is well represented by his surviving partner. I am Nigel Frootcoup, and this is my brother and partner, Nelvin." Nigel handed him some papers. Nigel told Matt, "At this fine time of year, it is generous to give to the poor and homeless. There are many without two np to rub together. Thousands wish for common comforts, or food, sir." "Are there no prisons? No workhouses?" Harty asked. "There are many, sir. Though I wish there were not." Nigel said sadly. "Oh, thats good. For a sec I thought you meant they closed down!" Matt shuddered. Nelvin looked at him strangely. "We have set up a fund, for the poor, homeless, newbies, and scammed, to buy them food and drink for Christmas. Shall I put you down? How much, sir?" "Squat!" "You wish to remain unnamed?" Nigel asked.
"I wish to be left alone. Why make poor weak newbies merry when I do not wish to make myself merry?!" Harty shouted with rage, "I help support the workhouses, and soup kitchens, and prisons! They certainly cost enough, why don't they go there?!"
"Many cannot..." Nelvin said quietly. "And many would much rather die." "If they would," Matt said annoyed, "Why don't they do it and decrease the surplus population? The shops are crowded enough as it is." With that, and a "Good Night, sir." From both Frootcoups, they left.
It was cold, and dark. Stray gelerts roamed the streets sadly, looking for any bones they could find. Harty curled up in a chair, sipping some clamade, when he heard lines of a carol:
"Oit to the world!
The Pant Devil's dead!
Ripped the horns right off his head!"
"Nonsense... Foolish newbies." He said to himself. Ernesto entered. "You'll want all day off tomorrow, right?" Harty said, sneering. "If it's quite convenient, sir." Ernie said meekly. "Well, it's not convenient. And it's not fair. Why should I pay you a day's wages for no work at all?!" Roared Harty. "But sir, it's Christmas, and it's only once a year..." Ernie whined. "A poor excuse..." Matt growled, "But I suppose I must. There's 10k off your salary, though!" Erma left, and Harty closed the shop, and retreated to his room.
As Matt walked down the long halls to his own room, he felt extremely tired. When he finally got there, he saw something that was too impossible to believe. Instead of a doorknob, there was a head. Omni's head. "My eyes are playing tricks on me!" As soon as he looked again, the spectacle was gone. He paused, staring at the doorknob, said "Cheese Poo!" and slammed the door behind him as he entered the room.
His room was dark and quiet. Matt liked it that way. He looked at his dinner, and nibbled on the Spoooky Muffin that was to the side of some Wheat Flakes. As he finished, he sat on a chair, and looked at the sealing tiles. Normally, they would have been flat, but tonight he could have sworn each one had a face carved on them. "Cheese poo!" He thought. But that all changed when, floating through the door, he saw Omni. No, not Omni, he was dead. Omni's Ghost. Omni's Ghost, with the clothes he wore the day he died, and many, many chains.
"W-W-W...What do you want from me?" Matt was terrified. "Much." Omni said in a mysterious, wavering voice. "Who are you?" Even though Harty knew exactly who he was. "Ask who I was." "Who were you, then?" "I was, in life, your partner, Ompimec...You don't believe me." Omni noticed, reading Matt's expression. "I don't." Said Harty. "You see me, you hear me, you feel me. Why do you doubt your senses?" The ghost said. "You could be a bad affect of a Spoooky Muffin. You could be expired Wheat Flakes. You could be spoiled Clamade!" "You do not believe in me, then. AHHH!" The spirit let out a dreadful cry, a scream, and it jangled its chains.
"Why do you haunt me, dreadful apparation?" Harty asked. "I have been condemned to walk the world - Oh, it is horrible! - walk the world and see the things I could have done, the things I could have shared, but now cannot. It is pure torture, to see...!" He again let out a cry, and shook his hands, creating such a racket. "You are in bondage. Why?" Harty inquired. "I forged it through my life. My greed, Matthew. You have a chain, are you not carrying it at this moment?" Matt didn't get it. He didn't have a chain. How? What? "Comfort me, Omni. What have I done? Why? How can I change it?" "I have no comfort to give, Mathew Harty. It comes from others. Others, you will meet soon." Omni looked mournfully at Matt. "You were quite slow to warn me." Scrooge said softly. "Slow?" Omni said, annoyed. "Seven years. Must you have waited seven years to warn me of this?" "I was traveling. Traveling the whole time. As I said, seeing what I could not share...It is torture to see...! But you, you shall see! You shall see."
Omni sighed. "I wonder why tonight, of all nights, I am finally in a form that is visible to you. Many a day I have sat behind you, watching." Harty shuddered. "There is still a chance - Yes! Still a chance! - From escaping my fate. And Oh, Mathew, I hope you do." Omni smiled. "Oh, thank you thank you with Oit on top!" "You will be haunted by three spirits." Matt frowned. "THAT is my chance? More ghosts, like you?" "It is." Om said monotonly. "No thank you." "'Tis your only chance. You will resume your fate, Harty, if you do not. The first comes tomorrow at one o' clock. Ompimec's ghost glided out of a window, and Matt could see many other ghosts, many having a similar fate. He saw TooCute, whom had a flood control shackling her. He saw many others he knew, and some he did not. He was terrified, and fell asleep quickly.
On a normal day in December, Mr. Matthew Harty was counting all the NP he made from his shop, Harty and Omni's. His clerk, Ernie Breast, was doing the same. They continued doing this in a dark room lit only by a small fire until they heard a cheerful voice. "Merry Christmas Matt! God save you!" It was his nephew, NightRanger. "Bah!" Said Harty, "Cheese Poo!" "Christmas Cheese Poo, Matt?!" Said Harty's nephew, "You didn't mean that, I'm sure?" "Well I do!" Said Matt, "Merry Christmas...Why be merry? You have hardly no NP!"
"Well," Night replied, "Why be so dismal? You have more neopoints than the rest of the city put together!" Having no comeback to that, Harty simply replied with another "Bah! Cheese Poo!" "Don't be so cross, uncle!" Said Night. "You are all fools! Christmas is no time to be merry. You find yourself a year older, but not an hour richer, and thus you cannot pay bills for your neohome!" He shouted. "If I could, I would make anyone who said Merry Christmas boil in their slushies and have a stake of holly through their hearts! They should!"
"Matt! ¬¬" Night said. "Now leave me alone, and much good may this Merry Christmas do to you! Much good has it ever done!" Matt Harty shouted with rage. "There are many things I have not profited from I still think as good." Night said calmly. "Christmas is one of them. And though it has never put a bottle of sand in my pocket, it is a time that is charitable and kind. Therefore, I think well of it, and it has done me good, and will, in times to come. So I say God Bless it!" Ernie applauded at this involuntarily, but soon noticed the impropriety of it.
Harty scowled. "Another sound from you, Erma, and you're out of the job! Now," Turning to his nephew, "You are a fine speaker. You should run for parliament." "Will you come dine with us, uncle?" Night asked. Matt rolled his eyes. "Why in the world did you get married?!" He asked. "Because I fell in love!" Night said. "Love! Ridiculous! You fell in love?!" He said almost as if that were the only thing crazier than Merry Christmas. "Good night!" "Matt! You never talked to me before I married, why use it as an ecscuse to not see me now?" "Good night!" "Geez, Uncle, why can't we be friends and relatives?" Night said. "GOOD NIGHT!" "Well Merry Christmas anyways..." "GOOD NIGHT DAMMIT!" "And a happy new year!" "Just go -_-;;" So Night left, slamming the door.
As his nephew Night left, two others came in. "Harty and Omni's, I believe. Are you Omni or Mr. Harty?" Said one. "Omni has been dead 7 years. 7 years tonight." Harty said, frowning. "I am sure he is well represented by his surviving partner. I am Nigel Frootcoup, and this is my brother and partner, Nelvin." Nigel handed him some papers. Nigel told Matt, "At this fine time of year, it is generous to give to the poor and homeless. There are many without two np to rub together. Thousands wish for common comforts, or food, sir." "Are there no prisons? No workhouses?" Harty asked. "There are many, sir. Though I wish there were not." Nigel said sadly. "Oh, thats good. For a sec I thought you meant they closed down!" Matt shuddered. Nelvin looked at him strangely. "We have set up a fund, for the poor, homeless, newbies, and scammed, to buy them food and drink for Christmas. Shall I put you down? How much, sir?" "Squat!" "You wish to remain unnamed?" Nigel asked.
"I wish to be left alone. Why make poor weak newbies merry when I do not wish to make myself merry?!" Harty shouted with rage, "I help support the workhouses, and soup kitchens, and prisons! They certainly cost enough, why don't they go there?!"
"Many cannot..." Nelvin said quietly. "And many would much rather die." "If they would," Matt said annoyed, "Why don't they do it and decrease the surplus population? The shops are crowded enough as it is." With that, and a "Good Night, sir." From both Frootcoups, they left.
It was cold, and dark. Stray gelerts roamed the streets sadly, looking for any bones they could find. Harty curled up in a chair, sipping some clamade, when he heard lines of a carol:
"Oit to the world!
The Pant Devil's dead!
Ripped the horns right off his head!"
"Nonsense... Foolish newbies." He said to himself. Ernesto entered. "You'll want all day off tomorrow, right?" Harty said, sneering. "If it's quite convenient, sir." Ernie said meekly. "Well, it's not convenient. And it's not fair. Why should I pay you a day's wages for no work at all?!" Roared Harty. "But sir, it's Christmas, and it's only once a year..." Ernie whined. "A poor excuse..." Matt growled, "But I suppose I must. There's 10k off your salary, though!" Erma left, and Harty closed the shop, and retreated to his room.
As Matt walked down the long halls to his own room, he felt extremely tired. When he finally got there, he saw something that was too impossible to believe. Instead of a doorknob, there was a head. Omni's head. "My eyes are playing tricks on me!" As soon as he looked again, the spectacle was gone. He paused, staring at the doorknob, said "Cheese Poo!" and slammed the door behind him as he entered the room.
His room was dark and quiet. Matt liked it that way. He looked at his dinner, and nibbled on the Spoooky Muffin that was to the side of some Wheat Flakes. As he finished, he sat on a chair, and looked at the sealing tiles. Normally, they would have been flat, but tonight he could have sworn each one had a face carved on them. "Cheese poo!" He thought. But that all changed when, floating through the door, he saw Omni. No, not Omni, he was dead. Omni's Ghost. Omni's Ghost, with the clothes he wore the day he died, and many, many chains.
"W-W-W...What do you want from me?" Matt was terrified. "Much." Omni said in a mysterious, wavering voice. "Who are you?" Even though Harty knew exactly who he was. "Ask who I was." "Who were you, then?" "I was, in life, your partner, Ompimec...You don't believe me." Omni noticed, reading Matt's expression. "I don't." Said Harty. "You see me, you hear me, you feel me. Why do you doubt your senses?" The ghost said. "You could be a bad affect of a Spoooky Muffin. You could be expired Wheat Flakes. You could be spoiled Clamade!" "You do not believe in me, then. AHHH!" The spirit let out a dreadful cry, a scream, and it jangled its chains.
"Why do you haunt me, dreadful apparation?" Harty asked. "I have been condemned to walk the world - Oh, it is horrible! - walk the world and see the things I could have done, the things I could have shared, but now cannot. It is pure torture, to see...!" He again let out a cry, and shook his hands, creating such a racket. "You are in bondage. Why?" Harty inquired. "I forged it through my life. My greed, Matthew. You have a chain, are you not carrying it at this moment?" Matt didn't get it. He didn't have a chain. How? What? "Comfort me, Omni. What have I done? Why? How can I change it?" "I have no comfort to give, Mathew Harty. It comes from others. Others, you will meet soon." Omni looked mournfully at Matt. "You were quite slow to warn me." Scrooge said softly. "Slow?" Omni said, annoyed. "Seven years. Must you have waited seven years to warn me of this?" "I was traveling. Traveling the whole time. As I said, seeing what I could not share...It is torture to see...! But you, you shall see! You shall see."
Omni sighed. "I wonder why tonight, of all nights, I am finally in a form that is visible to you. Many a day I have sat behind you, watching." Harty shuddered. "There is still a chance - Yes! Still a chance! - From escaping my fate. And Oh, Mathew, I hope you do." Omni smiled. "Oh, thank you thank you with Oit on top!" "You will be haunted by three spirits." Matt frowned. "THAT is my chance? More ghosts, like you?" "It is." Om said monotonly. "No thank you." "'Tis your only chance. You will resume your fate, Harty, if you do not. The first comes tomorrow at one o' clock. Ompimec's ghost glided out of a window, and Matt could see many other ghosts, many having a similar fate. He saw TooCute, whom had a flood control shackling her. He saw many others he knew, and some he did not. He was terrified, and fell asleep quickly.
