05/03/02

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or its characters. They are the property of Squaresoft. I make no money from the fan fictions I write. All I get from writing them is a sense of satisfaction that I'm pissing the hell out of my family by sitting in front of the computer all evening. ^_^

Oh, and the above disclaimer isn't mine. I borrowed it. ^^

The song "You Can Still Be Free" isn't mine, Savage Garden owns the rights to that one. I just "borrowed" it, too. I like to borrow things.

Title:  You Can Still Be Free

Author: Elbatsnu mailto: oriko_oreo@hotmail.com

Rating: R

Pairings: Sephiroth +/x Cloud, Tifa+Cloud(barely)

Spoiler Warnings: Yeah, if you don't want the ending of FF7 ruined, don't read this. Then you run off to go play the game, come back after beating it, and read this. Woo!

Warnings: This can be OOC for both main characters, but I doubt they'd respond normally to these circumstances. We only see "General" Sephiroth and "Crazy Jenova" Sephiroth in the game, so this is what I think "Normal" Sephiroth would be. And stuff. Cloud's just OOC .

You Can Still Be Free

---

*Cool breeze and autumn leaves*

I am the mighty Sephiroth. I will become one with the planet. My life was made to return the planet to the waiting arms of my mother, Jenova. In my blood courses the blood of the Ancients. I am the chosen one. I will rule this planet with my mother. I am an elite SOLDIER. Nothing can defeat me.

What a pile of shit.

*Slow motion daylight*

I was defeated by a group of rebels that went by the name AVALANCHE, but their name wasn't important. Out of the three fighting, the other two fighting were not important. The only member of that team that was important was the blonde boy; you know the one. The one with the spiky blonde hair that resembled a chocobo, had false memories, and was so utterly confused at the time of my death I can barely believe that he was the one that did it. But he did.

And now I'm dead. I'm dead, but I'm still here. I'm still on the god-forsaken planet that Jenova had told me to give her. She'd… /manipulated/ me. I'd done so much horrible things for her, to that boy, Cloud, and yet she always wanted more. I burned his town down for her. I killed the president for /her/ – okay, maybe I had a little part in that, but she had me murder for her. For her. She told me that she was my mother, and that she cared about me.

She didn't give a rat's ass about me.

Now, because of her, I was destroyed by Cloud Strife. I no longer have a life to live, and am trapped by an unknown force to the world I almost destroyed.

I am destined to watch.

*A lone pair of watchful eyes*

I watch the world go by without my presence to frighten them. Makou is no longer used, and though people seem edgy, they're happy. Most people are happy, anyway. Former members of ShinRa tried to restart the Makou reactor in Corel – what a mistake that was. The former AVALANCHE member Barret Wallace was the mayor of Corel. He captured them all, with Cloud's and T's help, and they got locked away.

*Oversee the living*

I watch the AVALANCHE members the most. It amazing to know that these are the ones who killed me, especially when they're screaming at their fathers about a curfew. Of course I could only be talking about Yuffie Kisaragi, the flower of Wutai. The materia she brought to her hometown helped its economy, and it is growing quickly.

Vincent Valentine, the former Turk, moved there not too long ago. Yuffie and he aren't the best of friends, and that isn't helped when Vincent chooses to live in a secluded mountainous region. Not many people see him around, and there are rumors in Wutai that he doesn't /really/ exist – he's an illusion created by excess Mako. Society amuses me.

Cid Highwind is running a space program in Rocket Town, with his new wife Shera. They bicker constantly, so I don't watch them too often. I also don't check in on that red animal in Cosmo Canyon, because he doesn't interest me at all. That robot thing and its pilot disappeared somewhere. I haven't really looked for them to tell the truth.

*Feel the presence all around*

That girl, Tifa Lockheart, opened up a bar in Costa Del Sol. It's quite popular, and she makes quite a bit of money from it. She seems happy, but I know better. I'm no voyeur, but once I happened upon her in the night on the docks of Costa. She cries at night, and talks quietly to herself since she thinks no one can hear. I wonder how she'd feel if she knew I was sitting next to her on the docks, listening to her plea to whatever deity existed. She loves Cloud. I think it's a borderline obsession, only because she doesn't seek him out and clip his hair while he sleeps.

The person I watch the most is Cloud. He's staying in Junon, renting an apartment. He's amazing, managing to be so humble after all he's done. He's the kind of guy that helps old ladies across the street without expecting anything in return. The good guy. I know he'd be upset if he knew I could see him all the time. No, of course I don't peek. I'm not Hojo, the greasy bastard.

*A tortured soul*

Cloud has nightmares often. I don't know what they're about, but I know they freak the hell out of him. I can't do anything to help him, either. He tosses and turns, mumbling quietly, brow furrowed. He looks angry. I can imagine that he's replaying Aeris' death in his head. I will never be able to atone for taking away that girl's life. Don't get me wrong, I didn't care about the girl, but she obviously meant something to Cloud.

I whisper softly to the blond man, knowing that he can't hear me but not wanting to sit there and do nothing. Surprisingly enough, he slowly calms down, and lets out a sigh. His mouth moves slowly, murmuring a name in his sleep. My heart stops when I realize what he said.

"Sephiroth."

*A wound unhealing*

He's smiling contentedly. I don't understand what this means, but I won't do anything to jeopardize his sleep. I attempt to run transparent fingers through his hair, not surprised when his hair doesn't move. I could feel him, but nothing I did would affect his existence.

I stay with him the entire night, enjoying the child-like appearance of his sleeping face. As dawn approaches, he starts tossing and turning again. His face twists up into a grimace, and I murmur to him, knowing I can't make a sound.

"Hush, baby. Everything's all right. I'm here; Sephiroth's… Wait, wait, nevermind. Shh..."

After a few minutes his tossing stills, and once again I am given the perfect view of his profile as he sleeps peacefully.

---

It was the same as every other night, I returned to watch Cloud as he slept. It has become a ritual for me, watching him as he sleeps, trying to quell the nightmares that plague him. It's not like I need sleep anyway. And besides, Cloud's behavior had started to bother me. He wasn't leaving his house as often, and seemed content to just sit in a chair in front of his fireplace and stare at the crackling flames. He isn't eating much, barely two meals a day. He's getting thinner and thinner, and I have to admit he's got me worried. I don't know what's wrong with him.

The only time he looks alive is when he sleeps. When he sleeps, his face is unguarded and he smiles. He doesn't smile in the daytime anymore. I was seated on a chair next to his bed, leaning over the side and watching him sleep. His face twisted into that familiar grimace, signaling that he was having a nightmare, so I started to talk to him. Only this time, he woke up.

And.

 Looked.

     Right.

         At.

          Me.

*No regrets or promises*

I froze. Cloud blinked, a confused look spreading across his features.

"Sephiroth?"

Holy shit. He could see me? How was that possible?

"You… you..." I try to talk, but questions are flying in and out of my head so fast I can't think.

"You're alive?" Cloud whispers, sitting up slowly and staring at me. I shake my head; I don't trust myself to speak. "You're different," he murmurs, squinting at me. The covers roll down and expose his chest, where ribs were starting to show through the skin. My eyes flicker over his lithe body and back to his eyes quickly, but he notices. And he /blushes/.

I think I'm losing my mind again.

"You're dead, Sephiroth," he says softly, the red tinge fading slowly. He looks like a lost little boy, and my heart aches to see him this way. How could he have changed so much?

"Yeah," I respond slowly. "I know."

*The past is gone*

His bright Makou eyes narrow minutely. "Then how are you here?"

"I don't know." It was the truth, but it seemed like such a cheap answer. "All I know is… I can't move on. So I stayed here."

"I thought I was going crazy," he mumbles, looking down and turning his head away. "I kept seeing you, following me through town. Then you were here. You followed me almost everywhere."

"I…"

"Can other people see you?" He turns to me again, and my mouth goes dry. His gaze feels as though it pierces my very soul.

"I don't think so. I didn't think /you/ saw me, but…" My brow furrows, taking in this new information. Cloud could hear and see me. I doubted anyone else could, because nobody had run screaming from me yet. I was thankful for that, at least. But… why Cloud?

Obviously, Cloud was thinking the same thing. "Why just /me/?"

*But you can still be free*

"I don't know," I murmur back. He's seen me the entire time. He /knows/ I've been following him. I pause, considering this new train of though. A glance at Cloud shows me that he's watching me curiously. My brow furrows. Why was he so calm? Why wasn't he trying to run me through with… oh, wait. He had sold his Ultima Weapon. How long ago had that been? Days? Weeks?

"You're not trying to kill me," Cloud comments, vaguely gesturing to his position and my own. His own barely clothed position. I blink slowly. Damned hormones, always trying to get the better of me.

"I was thinking the same thing about you," I reply. I find it ironic how we've gone from battle cries to civil conversation. Cloud frowns.

"You were with me when I sold it, you knew I was defenseless. Where's is your masamune?" A simple inquiry, but it's another that I have no answer for. I shrug offhandedly, ignoring his disappointed look. …Why exactly /was/ he disappointed?

"You look disappointed," I voice my thoughts again, watching as that crimson glow returns. It recedes quickly, and I find myself wanting to see it again. "Do you /want/ me to kill you?"

*If time will set you free*

I know it was the wrong question to ask when he glares at me. He looks down at his thin frame, obviously disgusted by what he sees. He mumbles something so quietly I almost can't hear it, but I know what he said. He said 'yes'. I frown at him, 'humph'ing softly.

"What, disappointed in me, Sephiroth?" There's bitterness in his tone that wasn't there before. Bitterness doesn't suit Cloud, he was more the 'happy and confused' type.

"Yes, I am. But hey, don't listen to me just because I'm /actually/ dead. Think what you want." I lean off the bed, crossing my arms over my chest and looking at him. I don't know /why/ I'm doing it, but I feel like making him guilty. How dare he think of suicide? Heroes were supposed to live life to its fullest, so why wasn't he?

"What's it like?" He asks softly. I instantly feel bad for snapping at him, but I shake it off. Where the hell were these feelings coming from? I felt /guilty/ for making /him/ feel guilty!

"What's what like?" My tone is almost as soft as his had been. I suppose he noticed too, because he returned his gaze to me.

"Dying." His eyes are so pained. If I were a lesser man, I would have bit my lip. "I killed you. It's /my/ fault you're dead." My brow furrows at his words. What the hell?

"Dying for me would be so much different than it would be for you. Jenova had control over everything I did, and even when she didn't I followed her like a fucking puppy," I spit out the last words, glaring holes into Cloud's apartment wall. "No, Cloud, I was dead a long time ago. If anything, you freed me." It almost hurts to finish but, despite my pride, I know it must be said. "Thank you. I owe you for more than you know."

When I look back at the blonde, he's looking at me with wide eyes. I don't think he expected me to say something like /that/.

"I knew it," he says softly. I wish he didn't talk like that, it makes me want to grab his shoulders and shake him. That probably wouldn't make him talk any louder, but it would help me get out the frustration of listening to that soft tone. "I knew she was controlling you."

Cloud smiles sadly. "Tifa didn't believe me. 'You have to accept it, Cloud. He isn't the same man anymore. He's not the heroic General Sephiroth, he's a crazy man dragging around a decapitated organ…thing.'" Cloud quoted his longhaired friend, mimicking her voice. I snorted. So /that/ was what she thought of me? 'Organ thing'? Oh, wouldn't Jenova have loved that.

"I wonder how she's doing…" Cloud frowns. It aggravates me how quickly his moods change.

"She… misses you." Cloud looks up in surprise. I don't know /why/ I said it, but not that it was out… "She loves you. She wants to be /near/ you." Cloud sighs.

"I /know/ that, but I don't love her! I could never do that to Tifa. She's my best friend, but I just don't love her like that." He wanted to, I could tell. He wanted to love her.

"Did you love the other one?" Why was I bringing the /Ancient/ into this? Why was I talking at /all/?

"You mean Aeris?" I shrug. "No. I couldn't love her either."

"Gee, Cloud. You must be a hard man to please. Two perfectly fine women practically /begging/ you for some sex, and you ignore them both." I shake my head, knowing that I'm asking for trouble. I can't help it; he makes it too easy.

He opens his mouth to respond, but closes it quickly. He almost looks like he's /pouting/. It's so cute that... whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Did I just put Cloud and 'cute' in the same thought? I glance over at the blonde, who's still watching me, pouty look still on his face. I smile softly; I can't help it. I watch, almost in a trance, that reddish tint as it slowly creeps up again when he smiles back.

*Time now to spread your wings

To take flight

The life endeavor

Aim for the burning sun

You're trapped inside

But you can still be free

If time will set you free

But it's a long long way to go*

---

TBC

I should have this summed up in either one or two chapters, regardless of reviews. But hey, make me happy! Review anyway! ^~

06/27/02

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or its characters. They are the property of Squaresoft. I make no money from the fan fictions I write. All I get from writing them is a sense of satisfaction that I'm pissing the hell out of my family by sitting in front of the computer all evening. ^_^

Oh, and the above disclaimer isn't mine. I borrowed it. ^^

The song "You Can Still Be Free" isn't mine, Savage Garden owns the rights to that one. I just "borrowed" it, too. I like to borrow things.

Title:  You Can Still Be Free

Author: Elbatsnu mailto: oriko_oreo@hotmail.com

Rating: R

Pairings: Sephiroth +/x Cloud, Tifa+Cloud(barely)

Spoiler Warnings: Yeah, if you don't want the ending of FF7 ruined, don't read this. Then you run off to go play the game, come back after beating it, and read this. Woo!

Warnings: This can be OOC for both main characters, but I doubt they'd respond normally to these circumstances. We only see "General" Sephiroth and "Crazy Jenova" Sephiroth in the game, so this is what I think "Normal" Sephiroth would be. And stuff. Cloud's just OOC .

Note: One chapter after this, but I figured I'd get the second up. I owed it a chapter, ya know? ^^;;

You Can Still Be Free

He opens his mouth to respond, but closes it quickly. He almost looks like he's /pouting/. It's so cute that... whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Did I just put Cloud and 'cute' in the same thought? I glance over at the blonde, who's still watching me, pouty look still on his face. I smile softly; I can't help it. I watch, almost in a trance, that reddish tint as it slowly creeps up again when he smiles back.

---

*Keep moving way up high*

I've never had a preference of sex before. It was never necessary; I was the perfect SOLDIER [1]. I didn't have time for "relationships", and considering I wasn't allowed within thirty yards of any other human beings besides Hojo for most of my life, it never bothered me. Being in close contact with that hell-spawn doctor bothered me, but I got used to it. I lived with it, and I never thought about anyone else. For some reason I'm thinking about it now, and I wonder what they'd call me. I shouldn't be attracted to a man who should hate me with every fiber of his being. But he doesn't, and I am.

I never met Cloud. He'd been assigned to my troupe the odd time, but I never really met him. Hell, the first time I saw his face was when he came after me in the Nibelheim reactor. After I… burned his home to the ground. Yeah. Great way to meet.

After that, I disappeared. Not literally, of course, but I was nowhere to be found. My life after that was spent brooding and thinking about the blonde boy with the sword that was not his own. I became rather… obsessed with him. My obsession fueled by the Jenova cells made for a very unhealthy lifestyle, and Jenova decided to take away my free will. Completely.

Do you know what it's like to lose complete control of everything? No… of course not. It's frustrating, to say the least. Your hands do not move when you tell them to. Your mouth does not obey when you want it to speak. Your eyes do not look where you want them to go.

Your mind does not think what you want it to think.

Imagine living like this for year upon year. You wake up- no, your body wakes up on its own accord and you have nothing but sight. You can see what it sees, but not what you see. It's confusing, isn't it? I'm sure that if I sat down and thought hard enough about it, I could drive myself insane.

*You see the light*

Of course, I no longer have a mind to drive into insanity. That is also confusing, so I will spare you. I no longer have a physical mind, merely a consciousness. And what was the last thought on my conscious mind before Jenova took over? Cloud.

What was the last thought on my physical mind before I died? Cloud.

So you see, I may not be the most stable person to be around. If you can call what I am a person. Why Cloud asked me to stay with him is beyond me. He didn't have to ask – I can go anywhere I please and he can do nothing to stop me, and he knows that. And yet he still asked.

I don't think Cloud is "all there" right now, either.

He talks to me about his life with AVALANCHE. He tells me about how one time, Cid Highwind was sleeping in a field and a measly little Mu popped out of the ground beside him. Cid opened his eyes to find the furry demon sitting on his chest and staring at him. The pilot then proceeded to scream like a little girl and swat at it with his hands. Barret Wallace had laughed so hard he'd fallen over, which set the rest of the crew into hysterics.

Cloud chuckled as he relived that memory, wiping away an imaginary tear. "Priceless," he'd breathed, smiling at me. It's amazing how a simple smile can take my breath away.

*It shines forever*

Cloud has a garden. Yeah, he does. He started it a week ago. It isn't blooming very well, and I think it's one of the reasons for his depression. The fact that he can't be a gardener depresses the world's savior – far fetched, I know. But he really wants those flowers to grow. I think it may have something to do with Nibelheim, but I don't ask. It isn't any of my business. The fact that Junon's soil is very crappy could have something to do with it. His garden is on top of the building, but he uses soil from Junon to fill his little square. He gets a lot of privacy up here, since his is the only room that connects to the rooftop.

"Sephiroth?" I look up to find Cloud peering down at me curiously. I think he finds it strange that I'm leaning over his precious garden. He knows I can't do anything to it, which is probably the cause of the arched eyebrow and small frown. I smile sweetly, pleased when that familiar red tint appears on his face. I don't think I'll ever get enough of seeing that.

"I'm just looking at it, Cloud. I think the dirt is dry. Maybe you should water it?" Cloud blinks in surprise, then nods in agreement. He disappears into his apartment and comes back out with a little blue watering can. It has a little yellow chocobo on the side – Cloud adores it. I just don't say anything. He wants the little chicken watering can, I say to each their own.

He fills it up at the tap on the wall, walking over and proceeding to pour the contents on the little garden.

"Yeah," I murmur, putting my hand on the damp earth. "That's better." Cloud is smiling at me again. I smile again, standing up.

"I'm gonna go out for a walk. I'll come back in a little while, okay?"

Cloud nods, and I turn and make my way to the side of the building. Why take the long way when you can just jump, right? I ready myself to leap off the building when Cloud shouts behind me.

"Sephiroth!" I pause, turning back to see the blond boy standing where I had been moments earlier. He's staring down at his garden in shock.

"What?" Curiosity gets the better of me and I walk over to join him. He glanced up at my, eyes wide, and points at the soil in his garden.

Where I'd held my hand on the soil moments before, there was now a depression. It was the exact shape of my hand. I'd left a mark in the world.

*Sail through the crimson skies*

"It's impossible!" I'm ranting again, and I know it. Cloud doesn't seem to care though, he's busying himself with making toast for supper. He still doesn't eat very well, but it's better than how he'd been doing.

"I'm not supposed to be able to do that. I know I'm not. I've never been able to before. I walk in the water, and the waves don't part. I walk in the sand, and there aren't any footprints. I put my hand in a garden, and I leave an impression? No!" I wave my arms as I speak. I've done that as long as I can remember. Back before Jenova took over my body, I used to make speeches and my hands played an active role. If they were fists, I meant business. Nobody messed with me when my hands were clenched, nobody. Not even Hojo.

"Maybe you're over-reacting," Cloud mumbles, bringing his plate of toast over to the card table he uses as a supper table. I frown, reaching over and sticking my finger into one of his pieces of toast. Instead of having no effect, a small hole stays in the piece of toast. He stares down in horror.

"You killed it!"

"I shouldn't be able to do that," I state. He looks up at me, brow furrowed. He watches me for a few seconds before averting his gaze and eating his plain rye toast. Ew.

Cloud must have noticed my distaste, because he looks up at me with those wide eyes in the middle of chowing down. He grins, purposely eating slower than usual just to annoy me. I shudder, forcing myself to look away.

"It really isn't that bad," he says quietly. My gaze snaps back to him, immediately noticing the forlorn look on his face. I think I offended him. I offer him a weak smile, waiting until he looks back at me before speaking.

"I'm sorry. Rye bread isn't exactly my favorite food. There's nothing wrong with it; it's actually healthy for you. I just don't like the taste of it." He watches me curiously before shrugging, and he finishes his toast in silence.

"How long are you going to be staying with me?" His question catches me off guard. I look at him in surprise and find him watching me with large doe-like eyes.

"As long as you'll let me, I suppose." He smiles.

"You'd actually leave if I asked you to?" I blinked in surprise. Obviously I'd worn out my welcome here.

"Well… yes. If you don't want me here then I'll leave." I stepped backwards towards the door, watching as he stood up in surprise.

"No! No, I didn't mean it that way. I just think it's really nice that you'd do it if I asked. Please don't leave," he pleads. I never thought I'd see the day where Cloud Strife pleaded for anything, let alone from me, but I was experiencing quite a few surprises lately.

"I don't want you to go, Sephiroth."

He sounds so desperate. I have to ask him. I have to know…

"Why?"

"I…" he trails off, biting his bottom lip and looking away. "I think… I…"

I stand there waiting. I know that Cloud will finish. How long it will take him is something I don't know, but it's not like I need to go anywhere.

"Cloud?"

He stares straight into my eyes. It feels like he can see right through me with those eyes. I swallow deeply.

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

--

Hehehe. TBC.

[1] – Wai! My Hee-kun!

^.~ Soooo. This is an interesting twist. How will Seph-kun react? Next chapter. Should be the final chapter, but you never know!