A/N: Okay, due to the fact that half of the people don't want downright slapstick, I shall write a version that is not supposed to
be funny, but serious drama, just for the people who don't know how to laugh. (And to Jake Dern, how would I know that Val and
Miro were out searching for a new planet to live on if I hadn't read the books? How would I know what the heck an ansible was?
How would I know of even some of the characters? Not all of them are mentioned on the back cover I'm fairly sure.) I have
read the books, just YOU haven't read "Laughing for Dummies", which I suppose could be useful. To Pink Spider, no, my mommy
was not reading it with silly voices. She wasn't even reading it to me. I read it myself, like any other book I've heard
about since FIRST GRADE, (Which is a loooong ways into my past). Like I said, I have read Enders game, and I just
couldn't help but make this SLAPSTICK about it. If I were 4 years old, I would be a fan of Pokemon probably, and obviously
you can guess by the story that I DON'T!!! In addition to that, can you name a SLAPSTICK comedy that makes a great point that
can change the way you look at life? NO!!! So why look for one if its a SLAPSTICK piece.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy this. I'm sure you will enjoy it.
*****************************************************************************************************************************
The craft landed, as Miro and Val stepped off the ship.
"What will this planet bring," Val sighed. She was beginning to suspect that there would never be a habitable planet in the
universe for all 3 creatures: Buggers, Piggies/Recolada, and Humans. But that was their mission, so that was what they had
to accomplish.
"It seems like this planet already has living beings." Miro said.
And he was right. It was inhabbited by tons of creatures referred to as Pokemon.
"GEEEEEEEEEKKKKK-O-Monnnn" said one unintelligent creature, was big, fat, and lazy.
"Talk about annoying." Val said. But she knew that she would have to put up with it while they were there. Complaining
would not make the critters vanish.
"It seems they don't have brains." Miro said.
"Do they meet the requirements of an ORGANISM?" Val asked. She had already had it, with a Gigamon crawling onto her leg.
What a creep, she thought.
"But it does look like a suitable planet. I think we should contact Ender, Valentine, and the others that we have found a
possible place."
Val agreed, and so they sent off a message by ansible saying they had found a possible planet, gave its location, and asked
for them to come as soon as possible, yet warned them of the strange, annoying creatures.
They were never seen or heard of again.
A few minutes later, a second ship landed. Off stepped Ela, Valentine, Quara, and Ender. They all weren't sure what to expect
of the strange creatures they were warned of.
Ender glanced around on the ground of the planet. There was an atmosphere, food, water, well weather, but certainly not
enough space.
"What are all these creatures?" Ender asked.
"I don't know, but they don't look very bright. They seem to only be able to say their own name." Valentine said, studying them.
"I'm not sure if they can think," Ela said, looking at them. She picked one up and began to study it.
"They don't seem to have any space for a brain." Ela continued, "No reproductive system, Doesn't seem to have any sensory organs
besides eyes, no digestive track, just a wind pipe. This is VERY VERY odd. I guess I'll go run some tests on them."
"Where do you suppose those other two ran off to?" Valentine asked. Quara shrugged. "Who knows. It is a full entire planet."
Valentine then did notice some footsteps. "Actually, I think I'll just follow these." she said. She began to see where
they would lead to.
Ender and Quara simply sat, waiting for either Valentine or Ela to return. However, Ender began to get extremely annoyed by
the creatures, as Quara began to play with them. Ela finally returned.
"I have computed they have no IQ at all."
"Thats a surprise," Ender muttered.
"But they are so cute!" Quara smiled. She began to play happily with them like a little girl.
"She seems posessed." Ela commented.
"Tell me about it."
"Quara, stop playing with the creatures. We don't know what effects they can give yet."
"But Ela, I'ma havin' some good fun."
Ela's eyes widened.
"They are making her become less intelligent. We have to stop these creatures." Ela said.
"What, you want me to use the Automatic Self Destructer of Stupid Things?" Ender asked.
"I'm afraid that is our only option." Ela said.
"NO ITS NOT!!!" Quara said standing up, "ITS WRONG to kill kind things."
Ender froze, but his thoughts didn't. He was afraid of commiting yet another Xenocide. He had almost wiped out the Buggers,
and had always hated doing so. He couldn't do it again!!! But he had to, otherwise Quara would end up turning into an idiot,
and before they knew it, they all would.
Ender sighed, "Forgive me for doing this," he said, as he pulled the trigger on the Destructer.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Quara screamed, standing in front of a stupid-mon, but it was too late. Simultaneously, all the
Pokemon exploded. Their parts flew threw the air and fell to the ground, like a bird who had just been shot for game. Quara
began to cry. Some cells on her forehead had also exploded, as she had been somewhat infected. She only felt a headache.
"How....could....you..." She said between tears. Ela and Ender carried her back onto the ship.
"Well, we now have a nice planet to live on!" Ela said.
"And you know what, I don't really feel bad about commiting that Xenocide." Ender said.
"It wasn't really a Xenocide, since the creatures weren't alive. You shouldn't feel bad."
Valentine then came rushing in, tears in her eyes.
"Whats the matter!!!" Ender said immediatly.
"DID YOU USE THE AUTOMATIC SELF DESTRUCTER OF STUPID THINGS?" Valentine asked.
"Yes, why?"
"Well, it has in fact killed ALL THE UNITELLIGENT THINGS ON THIS PLANET!!!" Valentine said with tears.
Suddenly, it hit Ender what must have happened. "They had lost their IQ that fast!" he said.
Valentine nodded. "I found them, all they could say was 'Hi' and 'I'm Val' or 'I'm Miro'. It was depressing, and then...then..
THEY EXPLODED!!!!"
Tears rolled down Ender's face, as a smile faded away.
"They were such great people." Ender said.
He began to feel disgusted with himself.
"I don't feel like staying here any longer." Ender said, "We'll have to search for a new planet."
So Quara and Ela returned to Lustania, while Ender and Valentine began the search for a habitable, unoccupied planet. For they
learned an important message we can all use: Never hurt somebody, for it will hurt somebody else.
******
I hope you enjoyed this story.
be funny, but serious drama, just for the people who don't know how to laugh. (And to Jake Dern, how would I know that Val and
Miro were out searching for a new planet to live on if I hadn't read the books? How would I know what the heck an ansible was?
How would I know of even some of the characters? Not all of them are mentioned on the back cover I'm fairly sure.) I have
read the books, just YOU haven't read "Laughing for Dummies", which I suppose could be useful. To Pink Spider, no, my mommy
was not reading it with silly voices. She wasn't even reading it to me. I read it myself, like any other book I've heard
about since FIRST GRADE, (Which is a loooong ways into my past). Like I said, I have read Enders game, and I just
couldn't help but make this SLAPSTICK about it. If I were 4 years old, I would be a fan of Pokemon probably, and obviously
you can guess by the story that I DON'T!!! In addition to that, can you name a SLAPSTICK comedy that makes a great point that
can change the way you look at life? NO!!! So why look for one if its a SLAPSTICK piece.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy this. I'm sure you will enjoy it.
*****************************************************************************************************************************
The craft landed, as Miro and Val stepped off the ship.
"What will this planet bring," Val sighed. She was beginning to suspect that there would never be a habitable planet in the
universe for all 3 creatures: Buggers, Piggies/Recolada, and Humans. But that was their mission, so that was what they had
to accomplish.
"It seems like this planet already has living beings." Miro said.
And he was right. It was inhabbited by tons of creatures referred to as Pokemon.
"GEEEEEEEEEKKKKK-O-Monnnn" said one unintelligent creature, was big, fat, and lazy.
"Talk about annoying." Val said. But she knew that she would have to put up with it while they were there. Complaining
would not make the critters vanish.
"It seems they don't have brains." Miro said.
"Do they meet the requirements of an ORGANISM?" Val asked. She had already had it, with a Gigamon crawling onto her leg.
What a creep, she thought.
"But it does look like a suitable planet. I think we should contact Ender, Valentine, and the others that we have found a
possible place."
Val agreed, and so they sent off a message by ansible saying they had found a possible planet, gave its location, and asked
for them to come as soon as possible, yet warned them of the strange, annoying creatures.
They were never seen or heard of again.
A few minutes later, a second ship landed. Off stepped Ela, Valentine, Quara, and Ender. They all weren't sure what to expect
of the strange creatures they were warned of.
Ender glanced around on the ground of the planet. There was an atmosphere, food, water, well weather, but certainly not
enough space.
"What are all these creatures?" Ender asked.
"I don't know, but they don't look very bright. They seem to only be able to say their own name." Valentine said, studying them.
"I'm not sure if they can think," Ela said, looking at them. She picked one up and began to study it.
"They don't seem to have any space for a brain." Ela continued, "No reproductive system, Doesn't seem to have any sensory organs
besides eyes, no digestive track, just a wind pipe. This is VERY VERY odd. I guess I'll go run some tests on them."
"Where do you suppose those other two ran off to?" Valentine asked. Quara shrugged. "Who knows. It is a full entire planet."
Valentine then did notice some footsteps. "Actually, I think I'll just follow these." she said. She began to see where
they would lead to.
Ender and Quara simply sat, waiting for either Valentine or Ela to return. However, Ender began to get extremely annoyed by
the creatures, as Quara began to play with them. Ela finally returned.
"I have computed they have no IQ at all."
"Thats a surprise," Ender muttered.
"But they are so cute!" Quara smiled. She began to play happily with them like a little girl.
"She seems posessed." Ela commented.
"Tell me about it."
"Quara, stop playing with the creatures. We don't know what effects they can give yet."
"But Ela, I'ma havin' some good fun."
Ela's eyes widened.
"They are making her become less intelligent. We have to stop these creatures." Ela said.
"What, you want me to use the Automatic Self Destructer of Stupid Things?" Ender asked.
"I'm afraid that is our only option." Ela said.
"NO ITS NOT!!!" Quara said standing up, "ITS WRONG to kill kind things."
Ender froze, but his thoughts didn't. He was afraid of commiting yet another Xenocide. He had almost wiped out the Buggers,
and had always hated doing so. He couldn't do it again!!! But he had to, otherwise Quara would end up turning into an idiot,
and before they knew it, they all would.
Ender sighed, "Forgive me for doing this," he said, as he pulled the trigger on the Destructer.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Quara screamed, standing in front of a stupid-mon, but it was too late. Simultaneously, all the
Pokemon exploded. Their parts flew threw the air and fell to the ground, like a bird who had just been shot for game. Quara
began to cry. Some cells on her forehead had also exploded, as she had been somewhat infected. She only felt a headache.
"How....could....you..." She said between tears. Ela and Ender carried her back onto the ship.
"Well, we now have a nice planet to live on!" Ela said.
"And you know what, I don't really feel bad about commiting that Xenocide." Ender said.
"It wasn't really a Xenocide, since the creatures weren't alive. You shouldn't feel bad."
Valentine then came rushing in, tears in her eyes.
"Whats the matter!!!" Ender said immediatly.
"DID YOU USE THE AUTOMATIC SELF DESTRUCTER OF STUPID THINGS?" Valentine asked.
"Yes, why?"
"Well, it has in fact killed ALL THE UNITELLIGENT THINGS ON THIS PLANET!!!" Valentine said with tears.
Suddenly, it hit Ender what must have happened. "They had lost their IQ that fast!" he said.
Valentine nodded. "I found them, all they could say was 'Hi' and 'I'm Val' or 'I'm Miro'. It was depressing, and then...then..
THEY EXPLODED!!!!"
Tears rolled down Ender's face, as a smile faded away.
"They were such great people." Ender said.
He began to feel disgusted with himself.
"I don't feel like staying here any longer." Ender said, "We'll have to search for a new planet."
So Quara and Ela returned to Lustania, while Ender and Valentine began the search for a habitable, unoccupied planet. For they
learned an important message we can all use: Never hurt somebody, for it will hurt somebody else.
******
I hope you enjoyed this story.
