Grin and Bare It
By Maveness Delight
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They ain't mine. Go figure. So don't sue.
Feedback: If you want to, go ahead. Mavenessdelight@yahoo.com
____________________________________________________________
"Hey Clark, why you grinning like that?"
"..."
"Hey man, come on now. Talk to me."
"Wow."
"Wow, what?"
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord."
"..."
"Did you have a near death experience or something?"
"Well, it was an experience. And it was divine. And I could have died happy afterwards."
"Holy...you had sex."
"..."
"Stop grinning like that man. Details. Was she hot? Was it great? Wait...who was it?"
"I don't kiss and tell."
"No fair. Give already. Who. Was it Lana?"
"Nope."
"That cute girl in geometry? What is her name. Susan? Sherry? Sandra? Oh, Shelly! It was Shelly wasn't it."
"Nope."
"Misty Hopewell? From English?"
"Nope."
"Well what about Amy Sanders. She is first trumpet in band. And those trumpeters really know how to bl..."
"Pete!"
"Well if you'd tell me already!"
"I'm not telling!"
"Then details man! You have boldly gone where the rest of us horny teenagers have yet to dare to go. You have been to the promised land. You have tasted of the forbidden fruit. You have unearthed treasures..."
"Okay, okay. I'll give details. Just stop with the rambling. You're starting to sound like my dad."
"You told your dad?"
"No I didn't tell my dad! What are you, nuts? He'd tell my mom and I would get lectured for a month on birth control."
"Or she might lecture you on how to please a woman."
"Pete! Gross!"
"For you maybe. Your mom is hot. I wouldn't mind that lecture."
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."
"Fine. Then details man. Details."
"Well, there was full nudity, so I did get to see breasts."
"Ah man. Boobs. So, did you touch them?"
"What do you mean did I touch them? Yes. She was naked! There were breasts. I'm male. There was definitely going to be touching."
"So...how'd they feel."
"Word of advice. Honking is a bad idea. Really bad."
"Honking?"
"You know, grabbing with both hands and squeezing. Not sexy."
"How is that not sexy. There are boobs in your hands. That, by definition, is sexy."
"But get kicked in the shins isn't. Or the smack upside the head."
"Oh. Not sexy for her."
"Yeah."
"So..."
"So what?"
"So what else? I need more than boobs."
"Um, well. Screaming can be good and bad."
"You made her scream? You go Clark!"
"Yeah, well. The screaming started out as bad. But the best part is that sex is a great way to make up from a fight. Then the good screaming starts."
"So you were fighting with this girl."
"Did I say that? Nope, not fighting. Just...disagreeing. Difference of opinions as it were."
"You were fighting, then it got all hot and steamy and you had sex. Holy cow..."
"What?"
"You had sex with Chloe!"
"What?!? What makes you think that?"
"The fighting part. I was pretty sure she wasn't speaking to you for a decade after the Spring Formal debacle, but apparently that Kent charm is stronger than I thought."
"Pete, I swear, if you tell anyone anything..."
"You won't get any again. I got it. Preserve the peace so you can get a piece."
"Pete!"
"Ow! That hurt man. Okay, okay. I'll keep my mouth shut. Just remember. I could always tell your mom."
"Pete!"
By Maveness Delight
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They ain't mine. Go figure. So don't sue.
Feedback: If you want to, go ahead. Mavenessdelight@yahoo.com
____________________________________________________________
"Hey Clark, why you grinning like that?"
"..."
"Hey man, come on now. Talk to me."
"Wow."
"Wow, what?"
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord."
"..."
"Did you have a near death experience or something?"
"Well, it was an experience. And it was divine. And I could have died happy afterwards."
"Holy...you had sex."
"..."
"Stop grinning like that man. Details. Was she hot? Was it great? Wait...who was it?"
"I don't kiss and tell."
"No fair. Give already. Who. Was it Lana?"
"Nope."
"That cute girl in geometry? What is her name. Susan? Sherry? Sandra? Oh, Shelly! It was Shelly wasn't it."
"Nope."
"Misty Hopewell? From English?"
"Nope."
"Well what about Amy Sanders. She is first trumpet in band. And those trumpeters really know how to bl..."
"Pete!"
"Well if you'd tell me already!"
"I'm not telling!"
"Then details man! You have boldly gone where the rest of us horny teenagers have yet to dare to go. You have been to the promised land. You have tasted of the forbidden fruit. You have unearthed treasures..."
"Okay, okay. I'll give details. Just stop with the rambling. You're starting to sound like my dad."
"You told your dad?"
"No I didn't tell my dad! What are you, nuts? He'd tell my mom and I would get lectured for a month on birth control."
"Or she might lecture you on how to please a woman."
"Pete! Gross!"
"For you maybe. Your mom is hot. I wouldn't mind that lecture."
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."
"Fine. Then details man. Details."
"Well, there was full nudity, so I did get to see breasts."
"Ah man. Boobs. So, did you touch them?"
"What do you mean did I touch them? Yes. She was naked! There were breasts. I'm male. There was definitely going to be touching."
"So...how'd they feel."
"Word of advice. Honking is a bad idea. Really bad."
"Honking?"
"You know, grabbing with both hands and squeezing. Not sexy."
"How is that not sexy. There are boobs in your hands. That, by definition, is sexy."
"But get kicked in the shins isn't. Or the smack upside the head."
"Oh. Not sexy for her."
"Yeah."
"So..."
"So what?"
"So what else? I need more than boobs."
"Um, well. Screaming can be good and bad."
"You made her scream? You go Clark!"
"Yeah, well. The screaming started out as bad. But the best part is that sex is a great way to make up from a fight. Then the good screaming starts."
"So you were fighting with this girl."
"Did I say that? Nope, not fighting. Just...disagreeing. Difference of opinions as it were."
"You were fighting, then it got all hot and steamy and you had sex. Holy cow..."
"What?"
"You had sex with Chloe!"
"What?!? What makes you think that?"
"The fighting part. I was pretty sure she wasn't speaking to you for a decade after the Spring Formal debacle, but apparently that Kent charm is stronger than I thought."
"Pete, I swear, if you tell anyone anything..."
"You won't get any again. I got it. Preserve the peace so you can get a piece."
"Pete!"
"Ow! That hurt man. Okay, okay. I'll keep my mouth shut. Just remember. I could always tell your mom."
"Pete!"
