Never blink 182 times; you might end up with human stink pigs on your hands! An Invader Zim meets Blink 182 crossover!

A/N: Okay! I really, really, REALLY! Like this chapter a lot. It was extraordinarily fun to write! I had a bunch of help from my friends so this chapter goes out to them! Thanks to Paige, Sarah *MuLLeT*, Elizabeth, Natalja, Jessie, and those two old guys at the hospital…man were they hilarious.

D/C: I only own the idea for the story…that's it…no more…got it? Goooooood.

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Act 4: The Mullet

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Narrator: On the way back to the ship, Tom taught GIR a new phrase. Oh how the world would regret that move.

Tom: (to GIR) Remember what I told you. When we get back, sneak up behind Travis and whisper that into his ear kay?

GIR: (nods head so you can hear the pennies and paper clips rolling around)

Tom: Okay! Great! Here's a cupcake! (Smiles and hands GIR the cupcakes)

GIR: YAY! I got a cupcake! Wee hoo! Weeeeee Hoooooo!!

Tom: (Smiles) I'm glad you liked it.

(A few minutes later)

Narrator: As they approached the ship, Tom placed GIR on the ground and he silently hovered over to Travis' ear and whispered into it. Travis screamed so loud that he fell over.

Mark: What the fuck did you do Tom?!

Tom: Dude, I didn't do anything!

Travis: (pissed off to the point of shitting himself) Who the fuck said that!?

Tom: (Stifling laughter) It wasn't me, but DAMN! That scream was so g-

(Tom got the wind knocked out of him as Travis socked him in the guy)

Tom: Dude, what the fuck?

Travis: I know it was you.

Tom: Fuck you! No it wasn't! I didn't say a mother fucking word to you!

Travis: Well, all I know is that I'm gonna kick the shit out of whoever said that.

(GIR sorta slid behind Tom in an attempt to hide from Travis. He hugged Tom's legs)

Zim: (Agitated) it seems like again we are forgetting, WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE!!

Mark: Damn fella don't get your antenna in a twist!

Tom: Fuck dude that was so cheesy.

(Meanwhile, at Dib's house)

Dib: (Listening to the Conversation) This is so retarded! Don't they speak of anything intelligent to talk about? What am I thinking? Of course they won't. It's Tom we're talking about here. Tom and his psychotic friends.

Gaz: (Irritated) You drank the last soda.

Dib: No…I didn't.

Gaz: You will pay!

(Gaz runs over to Dib and starts pummeling him in the head with blows from her small fists)

Gaz: AND! You didn't tell me OR dad that Tom came to visit. What a great brother you are.

Dib: Sorry, but we had important business to attend to.

Gaz: Whatever. (walks out of the door)

(Back at the ship)

Zim: (to Tom) Why is your shirt buldging out like that?

Tom: Who me?

Zim: Yes you.

Tom: Um, because?

Zim: Because…why?

Tom: Cuz Dib put a little speaker on my stomach that enables him to listen to everything you say.

Zim: Curse him! CURSE HIM!

Tom: You can say that again…

Mark: Curse him! CURSE HIM!

Tom: You people are crazy! I DON'T MEAN LITERALLY! JAYZUS!

(Zim walks over to Tom, lifts up his shirt, and pulls off the speaker)

Tom: Shit dude! That Fucking hurt!

Zim: (sarcastically) We have a winner! Give him a prize GIR!

GIR: (Walks over to Tom, hugs him, and gives him a kiss on the cheek) I-I love you.

Tom: (Touched) I love you too GIR. (They hug again)

Zim, Mark, and Travis: (roll eyes) Stupid, stinking Tom.

(At Dib's house)

Dib: That darn Tom is so stupid! Just like that yeti, and the bigfoot in the garage that was using the belt sander…(trails off and scratches his head in thought)

(at the ship)

Zim: (smashes the speaker) Dib will pay for this. Oh how he shall pay. (clenches fists in air and squints eyes) To the SECRET lair!



Narrator: Zim guides Tom, GIR, Mark, and Travis to the secret lair. Once they get there, Tom plops down on the couch and GIR sits on his lap while Mark and Travis sit on the floor.

Zim: I will return soon, there will be no doubt about that… no doubt whatsoever. (Laughter)

(Hours later)

Zim: (Emerging from floor) Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! It is complete! COMPLEEEEEETE!

(Tom and GIR look over at Zim and then return their glance to the tv. Mark and Travis are asleep on the floor)

Zim: *Ahem* I SAID! (steps in front of the tv and turns it off)

Tom: Hey! We were watching that!

GIR: Yeah, I hafta finish watching it! I need to know what happens!

Zim: Too bad!

GIR: (Begins screaming and crying and running around in circles until Zim says)

Zim: SHUT UP!

GIR: Okie dokie! (goes back over and sits on Tom)

Zim: I want you two to listen too. (Kicks Mark and Travis with his foot)

Mark: Fuck off!

Travis: Suck my balls!

Zim: No that's quite alright. (pulls out a cattle prod and pokes them both causing them to be alert) I have dug a wormhole that I have planned to lure Dib into by telling him that I wish to reveal all of my secrets to him. When he goes he will be in, A ROOM! WITH A MULLET! The mullet will attack Dib causing him to mutate into one of these OOKIE creature…things.

Tom: Excellent.

GIR: I'd like a large classic poop! Another, another!!

Zim: No. Now to get a nights rest to prepare for a day of the down fall of Dib. Ah! Hahahahahahahahahahahah!

(The next morning)

Zim: Hello Dib?

Dib: What do you want Zim?

Zim: I just wanted to tell you something.

Dib: What? That you love earth and you're not an alien?

Zim: No, it's actually quite the contrary. I feel there is no use going on and I want you to meet me somewhere secret so I can confess to you the truth of my being.

Dib: Right Zim…now, what do you really want?

Zim: That is the truth. Please take the directions I placed on your front door to the destination of our meeting place and I will tell you everything you need to know.

Dib: Why won't you just tell me now?

Zim: Someone could uh…tap into the phone lines and here…I want this to be private.

Dib: Okay um what time?

Zim: In about 25 of your earth minutes. (Hangs up)

(Later)

Dib: This is crazy but I guess I *could* trust him…once. (Dib puts out his coat and walks out the door)

Professor Membrane: Excuse me young man but where do you think you're going?

Dib: To save the world!

Professor Membrane: (Sigh) whatever you say my large headed son.

Narrator: By then, Dib is already out the door and heading towards Zim's back yard. But to his surprise, when he got there he was sucked into the wormhole)

Dib: Hey! Were am I? You….

Narrator: A screen whizzes out from nowhere and shows Zim's face.

Zim: Yes, it was I who brought you to this wormhole.

Dib: Great, another room with a moose to bring me to my moosey fate. Terrific.

Zim: NO! But once again I did research many different wormholes with many possible outcomes.

Dib: (rolls eyes) Great.

Zim: One wormhole would've spit you out into a dimension of pure stinking. (a picture of poop pops up on the screen) Another would have placed you into a dimension of pure ickyness. (Picture of Dib eating nasty food is put on the screen). You will be FORCED to eat nasty earth food until you die. But once again, I have created a wormhole for such a special occasion. For at the end of this wormhole lies…A ROOM, WITH A MULLET! Yech yech yech yech yech.

Dib: NO!!!! Not that Zim, anything but that! (Sees Tom and GIR dancing in the background) Tom! Tom! You hafta help me! Tom!

Tom: (runs over to the screen, pushes Zim out of the way, and smushes his face against the screen) HI DIB!

Dib: Tom help me please! Zim's trying to take me to a room with a mullet!

Tom: Oooh! Mullet! (Runs back to GIR and starts dancing with him)

Dib: What did you do to Tom? He's stupid, but not this stupid!

Zim: Oh that, I just removed part of his intelligence.

Dib: Curse you Zim.

Zim: (maniacal laughter)

Narrator: Dib is tossed into the room with the mullet and is attacked by all angles. While Dib is in a corner, huddled in fear, one of the "mulletoids" injects a fluid into his arm causing him to turn into a mullet. What will happen next? Will Zim reign victorious over mullet Dib? Will Tom get his intelligence back? Will Dib ever be a normal human worm baby ever again? Find out next time on Never Blink 182 Times; You Might End Up With Human Stink Pigs On Your Hands! An Invader Zim Meets Blink 182 Crossover!