Never Blink 182 Times; You Might End Up With Human Stink Pigs On Your
Hands! An Invader Zim Meets Blink 182 Crossover!
A/N: I absolutely! Must dedicate this chapter…to…*drum roll* DiBB Punk! Yay for you! I'm so thankful you dedicated that chapter to me…:') tears of joy! Aren't they lovely? Any who…after this chapter I'm gonna take a break and continue writing Secrets in the Dark…but I'm not done with this…I just won't update as frequently as I have been. So yeah.
D/C: Don't own shit…except for the concept, or idea, or whatever.
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Act 5: The Degenerate Nightmare is going Door to Door until it finds a hospital
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Narrator: In a burst of sudden brotherly love, our temporary hero Tom jumps into the wormhole to save his mullified brother Dib. Dib is now entirely a mullet, just a huge gigantic…mullet. No face, no arms, no legs, all you can see, is…a huge, black, mullet. Now they are in search of a hospital…or maybe a barbershop.
Tom: Dib, haven't you learned by now that you can't trust Zim. I've seen every episode and he sure tricks you in some pretty good ways. Ways that are rather tricky.
Mullet-Dib: hmrphnrgrg shfrisnty. (Well sure, but I'm never supposed to learn remember?!?! That makes the show funny)
Tom: I know that makes the show funny but we're not in the show now…are we?
(Tom stops the car and looks into the outside world. He knocks on the glass)
Tom: Guess not. So you can actually be smart for a change. (restarts car)
Mullet-Dib: hrmferfish tmsh. (speak for yourself Tom.)
Tom: I hope GIRs okay…I hope Zim isn't doing anything bad to him…
Mullet-Dib: (Shakes mullet) hmptlss… (hopeless)
Tom: Excuse me but who here is a giant mullet who got tricked by an alien?
Mullet-Dib: henempei kdimshuty phen pors chune! (Well, at least I'm not as dumb as a rock and worrying about a stupid, cold, unfeeling robot thing!)
Tom: Oh like that was insulting you bigheaded brat!
Mullet-Dib: wnfthsh taf? (What's that?)
Tom: What the? (Stops the car and looks out the window. Sees a bunch of Hillbillies dancing on the side of the road)
Hillbilly #1: Humdiddyhumdedumlibsumatsumatsumathumdiddy.
Hillbilly #2: Summat sumsum hum diddy humdum sumnat
Hillbilly #3: GO RUTGERS! YEE HAW!!! ( begins to dance with the other hillbillies)
Tom: (restarts car) anyway, Hey! There's a hospital right there! (Pulls into the parking area) Here let me carry you. (Picks Mullet-Dib up and carries him into the lobby.
Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, but there are no pets allowed in the building.
Tom: Oh this is no pet, this is my little brother Dib. He has been turned into a mullet by 'mulletoids' and he needs to be saved. Saved I say! Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to go on! I'd kill myself if he died! (Tom is now screaming with tears running down his face, and the whole hospital is watching him) I'd…I'd, I-
Receptionist: (Cuts Tom off) I think you'd be better off going to a barbershop.
Tom: (Stops his rant, drops his arms down to his sides, and looks around the hospital to see all the people staring at him) Oh…um Thank you…sorry for the uh…hassle.
Receptionist: (looking quite worried) Uh…alright….well, good luck.
(Ten minutes later)
Narrator: Tom is waiting in Luigi's Barbershop for Dib's hair to be done, when he has another hillbilly encounter. Two men walk over to the bench where he's sitting. One is small, with a slim build. He is wearing an old tattered flannel shirt, and walks with a slight limp. The other is rather bulky wearing a wife beater, a jean jacket, and a pair of blue jeans. The shirt is up over his belly exposing a nasty scar. He was carrying a Victoria's Secret catalog. Both are about in their 50's.
Tom: (Scoots uneasily away from the two old men sitting next to them, he finds them scary. He wishes GIR was there.)
Thin Man: (thinking while watching the fat man) *I'm gonna read it again* (Continues watching fat man until…)
Fat Man: (Softly) I'm gonna read it again. (Continues reading his Magazine)
Thin Man: What are you doing? (knowing very well what he was doing)
Fat Man: Nothing…
Thin Man: Nothing…or something…
Fat Man: Just uh…reading my stories…
Thin Man: I Told you not to look at those things, they bring up your blood pressure.
Fat Man: (Like he could care less) Eh….
Tom: (Laughs to himself as the Barber comes out) Is he alright Doc?
Luigi: (heavy Italian Accent) I-a tried my best-a. But I'm afraid-a his-a hair-a will-a never be the same-a.
Tom: Oh well show me what you've done!
(Luigi shakes head and brings out Dib, who looks exactly like he did before the attack of the killer mullet)
Tom: Okay…uh we'll be leaving then…
Luigi: Luigi has done an awful job-a. No-a pay-a is-a nessecary.
Tom: Uh…thanks, I think… (Slowly Grabs Dib and inches out the door)
(Back in the Car)
Tom: Whew, that went smooo-thly (does little pelvic thrust thing in the seat of the car to the syllables of smoothly)
Dib: Thanks bro, I owe you one.
Tom: No it's more like 5, but other than that…you're welcome.
Dib: (hugs tom's arm) I love you…
Tom: Love you too bro…
Dib: I was talking to your alien tattoos.
Tom: oh…
(Begins to rain outside)
Tom: Fuck, roll up the windows so the rain doesn't screw up the leather.
(Tom rolls up the window and all of a sudden it explodes all over him for no good reason at all. Fuck you glass! FUCK YOU!!!!! Ahem…any who)
Tom: Fuck! (pulls car over and wipes all the glass out of the car.) That's better. (Continues driving) So where are we going? Your house, or Zim's?
Dib: We are going to my house…while you catch up with Gaz and Dad, I'll be working on something so amazing…it's a secret.
Tom: SECRET! What are you hiding Dib worm? Tell me! TELL ME!!!!
Dib: Something…
Tom: What is this miraculous secret thing?
Dib: I ain't tellin' yo…
Tom: Does it defy the laws of time and space? Can it alter the minds of sentient beings? (desparate) Is it they key to figuring out why Mark wants to have fun with my mother's goats?
Dib: (Looks Confused at the last comment) oh…you will find out all too soon my big brother…you will find out all to soon…ahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahha!!!!
Narrator: And as the black ford expedition drives off into the sunset, with Dib's all to Zim-like laughter echoing in the ears of all the men, women and children, one can only wonder what evil thoughts were running through his freakishly large head…only I know. And so until the next chapter, you won't know, because through the wise words of Poop Dawg I say… 'I ain't telling yo!' SO SHOVE THAT ONE UP YOUR ASS! HA! Ahem…sulleness is of the essence of my being…stay tuned…to… Never Blink 182 Times; You Might End Up With Human Stink Pigs On Your Hands! An Invader Zim Meets Blink 182 Crossover!
A/N: The breaking glass and the two old men were based on personal experience. In history class, a window broke while I was closing it and it shattered all over me. And the old men…they only said the part about the blood pressure…it wasn't a Victoria's Secret, but it was a lingerie catalog. It was fucking hilarious!
A/N: I absolutely! Must dedicate this chapter…to…*drum roll* DiBB Punk! Yay for you! I'm so thankful you dedicated that chapter to me…:') tears of joy! Aren't they lovely? Any who…after this chapter I'm gonna take a break and continue writing Secrets in the Dark…but I'm not done with this…I just won't update as frequently as I have been. So yeah.
D/C: Don't own shit…except for the concept, or idea, or whatever.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------
Act 5: The Degenerate Nightmare is going Door to Door until it finds a hospital
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------
Narrator: In a burst of sudden brotherly love, our temporary hero Tom jumps into the wormhole to save his mullified brother Dib. Dib is now entirely a mullet, just a huge gigantic…mullet. No face, no arms, no legs, all you can see, is…a huge, black, mullet. Now they are in search of a hospital…or maybe a barbershop.
Tom: Dib, haven't you learned by now that you can't trust Zim. I've seen every episode and he sure tricks you in some pretty good ways. Ways that are rather tricky.
Mullet-Dib: hmrphnrgrg shfrisnty. (Well sure, but I'm never supposed to learn remember?!?! That makes the show funny)
Tom: I know that makes the show funny but we're not in the show now…are we?
(Tom stops the car and looks into the outside world. He knocks on the glass)
Tom: Guess not. So you can actually be smart for a change. (restarts car)
Mullet-Dib: hrmferfish tmsh. (speak for yourself Tom.)
Tom: I hope GIRs okay…I hope Zim isn't doing anything bad to him…
Mullet-Dib: (Shakes mullet) hmptlss… (hopeless)
Tom: Excuse me but who here is a giant mullet who got tricked by an alien?
Mullet-Dib: henempei kdimshuty phen pors chune! (Well, at least I'm not as dumb as a rock and worrying about a stupid, cold, unfeeling robot thing!)
Tom: Oh like that was insulting you bigheaded brat!
Mullet-Dib: wnfthsh taf? (What's that?)
Tom: What the? (Stops the car and looks out the window. Sees a bunch of Hillbillies dancing on the side of the road)
Hillbilly #1: Humdiddyhumdedumlibsumatsumatsumathumdiddy.
Hillbilly #2: Summat sumsum hum diddy humdum sumnat
Hillbilly #3: GO RUTGERS! YEE HAW!!! ( begins to dance with the other hillbillies)
Tom: (restarts car) anyway, Hey! There's a hospital right there! (Pulls into the parking area) Here let me carry you. (Picks Mullet-Dib up and carries him into the lobby.
Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, but there are no pets allowed in the building.
Tom: Oh this is no pet, this is my little brother Dib. He has been turned into a mullet by 'mulletoids' and he needs to be saved. Saved I say! Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to go on! I'd kill myself if he died! (Tom is now screaming with tears running down his face, and the whole hospital is watching him) I'd…I'd, I-
Receptionist: (Cuts Tom off) I think you'd be better off going to a barbershop.
Tom: (Stops his rant, drops his arms down to his sides, and looks around the hospital to see all the people staring at him) Oh…um Thank you…sorry for the uh…hassle.
Receptionist: (looking quite worried) Uh…alright….well, good luck.
(Ten minutes later)
Narrator: Tom is waiting in Luigi's Barbershop for Dib's hair to be done, when he has another hillbilly encounter. Two men walk over to the bench where he's sitting. One is small, with a slim build. He is wearing an old tattered flannel shirt, and walks with a slight limp. The other is rather bulky wearing a wife beater, a jean jacket, and a pair of blue jeans. The shirt is up over his belly exposing a nasty scar. He was carrying a Victoria's Secret catalog. Both are about in their 50's.
Tom: (Scoots uneasily away from the two old men sitting next to them, he finds them scary. He wishes GIR was there.)
Thin Man: (thinking while watching the fat man) *I'm gonna read it again* (Continues watching fat man until…)
Fat Man: (Softly) I'm gonna read it again. (Continues reading his Magazine)
Thin Man: What are you doing? (knowing very well what he was doing)
Fat Man: Nothing…
Thin Man: Nothing…or something…
Fat Man: Just uh…reading my stories…
Thin Man: I Told you not to look at those things, they bring up your blood pressure.
Fat Man: (Like he could care less) Eh….
Tom: (Laughs to himself as the Barber comes out) Is he alright Doc?
Luigi: (heavy Italian Accent) I-a tried my best-a. But I'm afraid-a his-a hair-a will-a never be the same-a.
Tom: Oh well show me what you've done!
(Luigi shakes head and brings out Dib, who looks exactly like he did before the attack of the killer mullet)
Tom: Okay…uh we'll be leaving then…
Luigi: Luigi has done an awful job-a. No-a pay-a is-a nessecary.
Tom: Uh…thanks, I think… (Slowly Grabs Dib and inches out the door)
(Back in the Car)
Tom: Whew, that went smooo-thly (does little pelvic thrust thing in the seat of the car to the syllables of smoothly)
Dib: Thanks bro, I owe you one.
Tom: No it's more like 5, but other than that…you're welcome.
Dib: (hugs tom's arm) I love you…
Tom: Love you too bro…
Dib: I was talking to your alien tattoos.
Tom: oh…
(Begins to rain outside)
Tom: Fuck, roll up the windows so the rain doesn't screw up the leather.
(Tom rolls up the window and all of a sudden it explodes all over him for no good reason at all. Fuck you glass! FUCK YOU!!!!! Ahem…any who)
Tom: Fuck! (pulls car over and wipes all the glass out of the car.) That's better. (Continues driving) So where are we going? Your house, or Zim's?
Dib: We are going to my house…while you catch up with Gaz and Dad, I'll be working on something so amazing…it's a secret.
Tom: SECRET! What are you hiding Dib worm? Tell me! TELL ME!!!!
Dib: Something…
Tom: What is this miraculous secret thing?
Dib: I ain't tellin' yo…
Tom: Does it defy the laws of time and space? Can it alter the minds of sentient beings? (desparate) Is it they key to figuring out why Mark wants to have fun with my mother's goats?
Dib: (Looks Confused at the last comment) oh…you will find out all too soon my big brother…you will find out all to soon…ahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahha!!!!
Narrator: And as the black ford expedition drives off into the sunset, with Dib's all to Zim-like laughter echoing in the ears of all the men, women and children, one can only wonder what evil thoughts were running through his freakishly large head…only I know. And so until the next chapter, you won't know, because through the wise words of Poop Dawg I say… 'I ain't telling yo!' SO SHOVE THAT ONE UP YOUR ASS! HA! Ahem…sulleness is of the essence of my being…stay tuned…to… Never Blink 182 Times; You Might End Up With Human Stink Pigs On Your Hands! An Invader Zim Meets Blink 182 Crossover!
A/N: The breaking glass and the two old men were based on personal experience. In history class, a window broke while I was closing it and it shattered all over me. And the old men…they only said the part about the blood pressure…it wasn't a Victoria's Secret, but it was a lingerie catalog. It was fucking hilarious!
