Never Blink 182 Times; You Might End Up with Human Stink Pigs on Your Hands! An Invader Zim Meets Blink 182 Crossover!

A/N: How's it goin? (ha old kid:o) Well It came to my attention that some of you might think that I use too many quotes in my story…well too bad for you. My story…and I do make up my own lines, Christ! This whole fucking story came marching out of my brain! I just get inspiration from everyday goings on. So there…shove that up you ass you morbid like a pig in a slaughterhouse child who needs to be hung by their hair like an enormous rabid, and might I say rather misshapen, MOOSE!!!!! Any way…on with the story…OH YES! This chapter is dedicated to……..CRIMSONOBBSESSION!!!!!! She is a truly talented writer and deserves mounds and mounds of credit for her excellent work! Read her stuff…It's tons better than mine.

Disclaimer: I only own the story

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Act 6: A walk in the park

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Narrator: Last time on Never Blink 182 Times; You Might End Up with Human Stink Pigs on Your Hands! An Invader Zim Meets Blink 182 Crossover!, we left Dib and Tom driving home so that Dib could plot an intricate revenge scheme to pay back Zim for the Mullet incident. When they got home…

Professor Membrane: Welcome home son! How is your band?

Gaz: Yes…How IS your band? (Mentally pondering how Travis is doing)

Tom: Oh, we're doing great! (Gives the professor a hug) And Travis has been the best idea we've ever thought of (winks at Gaz)

Gaz: *Sigh*

Dib: Weeeeeell, I'm gonna go and uh, plot an intricate revenge scheme on Zim.

PM's Doll: Why? To save the world? You poor insane boy with an enormous head.

Dib: *Sigh* yes.

PM: Why can't you be like your brother? Successful, and have a head that science can explain! (Clenches air with fist)

Dib: Because…because…because the DNA that bonded during my creation made me this way! That's why! (runs to his room and slams the door.)

PM: Hmmm…Take note of this Mini-Membrane…my youngest son is not as insane as previously established.

Dib: (Sticks his head out of his door) Oh yea! Tom believes in aliens too! (Slams door again)

PM: Is this true Tom?

Tom: Yeah…But…

PM: No buts young man! You may be a super famous rock star…but you seem to forget that I am still your father….a super famous scientist father! Now go to your room!

Tom: You gave Gaz my…

PM: (holds up hand) Off with you!

Tom: (Hangs head and traipses off to Gaz's room)

PM: Mini- Membrane, make sure to note that my eldest son is just as ludicrous as the other one.

Narrator: Tom went on to Gaz's room and decided to get some well-deserved rest. Dib however was being more productive, he began to connive a maniacal scheme to pay back Zim for the embarrassment and emotional scarring of the mullet. Speaking of Zim…

(Back at Zim's house)

Zim: Fools! How many times must I tell you not to do that?!

(Mark and GIR quit jumping on the couch and singing the doom song while Travis sways uncomfortably in a corner)

Zim: (running over to the couch) It musses the upholstery (gives them a look of shock and desperation)

(Mark and GIR just stare at him as he gropes the couch and whispers to it)

Zim: It's okay my sweet couch, your upholstery will go unharmed this night…your stuffing will lay protected…in your vulnerable belly…

Mark: Fuck Zim! You're not fucking Sergeant Slab Rankle! Shit!

GIR: Tom! Where'd you go? Where are ya Tom?

Zim: (stops whispering sweet nothings to the upholstery) That insolent goat ch-

Mark: (excited) Goat? Where?

Zim: (rolls his eyes although you wouldn't be able to tell because they're all red and such) Nowhere you childish meat sack! But as I was saying, that insolent goat child abandoned us for that curs-ed interFERing Dib. (growls)

GIR: I miss you Tom! I miss you! (balls hands into fists and drops to his knees) WHHYYYYYY!!?? (cries)

Zim: Festering blemish of annoyance! (clenches air) BE QUIET!!!

GIR: (blinks only once I'm afraid) okay…(sniffle)

(the phone rings)

Zim: (stares at the phone and then pulls out that little voice changey thing and depends his voice. He picks up the phone) Hello. How may I help you to day?

GIR: Tom?

Person on the phone: Zim?

Zim: Who is this? Why are you calling my house? I am normal…

Dib: It's me! Dib! Can't you recognize your own former arch nemesis' voice? Huh? Huh

Zim: Preposterous! That makes you sound so fake, so not right, so stupid like a moo- cow. Stupid like a cow Dib stupid like a cow!

Dib: Shouldn't that be stupid like a moose? I read the script and…

Zim: Do not question me you rabid moose child! I will not have you tricking me with your little tricky….thingies!

Dib: But, we'll be feeding duckies? How can you resist duckies?

Zim: Duckies? Really?

Dib: Really!

GIR: Will Tom be there?

Zim: Count me in on your miserable earth custom…but don't expect me to fall into your clever sack of doom…

Narrator: Dib proceeds to discuss with Zim the plans for the park. What follows? Sheer madness!

*The Next Day*

Zim: Okay…I think we have everything we need…Tacos?

GIR: (holds up tacos) CHEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

Zim: poop cola?

Mark: (stops drinking his soda in mid air and sorta glances over the can at everyone) uh…heh heh… yeah! (flashes an innocent grin)

Zim: Right…uh…moldy bread to feed to those dejected duck things?

Travis: (stares blankly at a wall with the bread duck-taped to his bare chest)

Zim: Mark, if you don't mind me asking, what is wrong with your friend? He is morbid like a pig in a slaughter house no?

GIR: (drops once again to his knees with his arms extended in the air) NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! PIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Mark: (runs over to GIR and consoles him) Look at what you've done Zim! It's okay GIR. And no my friend Travis is NOT morbid like a you know what in a your know where.

GIR: (rubs eyes) I miss you Tom, I miss you. (Looks up to ceiling and a shot of Tom appears)

Tom: I miss GIR.

Dib: He's a robot.

Tom: I know, but he's different. I love that little robot…I love him good.

Dib: Whatever, we have to have everything perfect, otherwise…madness.

(Madness dog is seen walking outside)

Tom: OOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Chihuahua! Can I pet him? Huh? Huh?

Dib: (sigh) No…it's time (dun dun dun…..dramatic reverb) for a walk…in the park!

Narrator: So Dib and Tom get into the black Expedition as Mark, Travis, Zim, and GIR get into marks little black Acura. How their cars got into cartoon world…I don't know….so just deal with it! It's time for the adventures in the park.

(Dib and Tom pull up in the grass as GIR drives the Acura into a tree)

Mark: Awww…my car. (Looks upset for a second) oh well, I guess I'll buy a new one.

Dib: (forcing a smile on his face) hello Zim…how nice to see you again!

Zim: (also forcing a smile on his face) Well nice to see your putrid face as well Dib?

GIR: TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom: GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! !

(the run in a warm embrace. Tom kisses GIR's head.)

Gir: I missed you Tom! I really did! (nuzzles face into Tom's chest)

Tom: I missed you too GIR! I missed you so much!

Mark: Jesus Tom! Get a fucking grip! Look at what you've done to Travis!

(Travis is standing in the pond up to his waist with the bread still taped to his chest. All the while fish and birds are attacking him…he doesn't move…except for the fact that his eye twitches)

Tom: Oh..uh huh…yeah ummmahh…looks like one of them orca whales uh huh,

Dib: (jabs Tom in leg) shut up!

Zim: Where is the fun? I demand mounds of fun right now!

Dib: Well…uh…lets go!

Narrator: Here's my montage 1st of two montage scenes! Yay!

(Wouldn't It be nice by the beach boys is playing in the background!)

Narrator: Tom and GIR stand at the side of the road, smiling with their fists up in the air…as the cars drive by the see how many people stare at them, they begin to laugh and dance as a guy drives up, says 'woohoo' and leaves. Dib and Zim decide to feed the ducks, but they have to get the bread from Travis' chest but Travis is afraid that the tape will act like a waxing agent and rip out all his hairs so he runs through the park screaming while Dib and Zim chase him. Mark jumps into the pond and the fishies pop up and Mark thinks they're being friendly, but all of a sudden they start attacking him and he screams and falls back into the water. Zim is holding Travis on the ground while Dib rips off the tape mercilessly…Travis faints. Dib and Zim run off laughing and throw bread to the duckies. The duckies don't like this and start pecking Zim on the head while Dib falls over laughing. Meanwhile, Tom and GIR Run to the library next to the pond and steal a pencil so that they can feel like rebels. Mark however is steal being attacked by fish when out of no where Keef pops up from the pond and the fishies get scared and swim away. Mark notices Keef's rainbow shirt and they strike up a happy conversation about saving the rainbows and unicorns in the world. A unicorn followed by a hunter runs by in the background while they are laughing. GIR runs out of the library with the pencil in hand screaming while Tom chases him. The duckies are still pecking Zim's head and GIR throws the pencil right through the ducks head. Zim wipes sweat from his face and all of a sudden a monstrous swarm of duckies attack GIR. GIR runs in circles screaming when once again the ever amazing Keef pops out of no where and scares the duckies away. A little girl with pigtails, a black trenchcoat, baggy purple plaid pants, and a green alien shirt is seen sitting on the bridge, dangling her feet over the side. She is contentedly feeding the geese and duckies some mysterious stuffs. Song ends…so does the montage!

(A shot of a girl in a skirt with a mullet is sitting on a bench. She is sitting with her legs wiiiiiide open)

Girl on the Bridge: SARAH!!!! CLOSE YOUR LEGS!!!!

Sarah: huh? Huh?

A girl sitting next to Sarah: you're wearing a skirt.

Sarah: AHH!!! (her head explodes)

Girl on Bridge: Right…my poor, poor virgin eyes…(shakes head and continues feeding the geese and duckies)

Tom: (sees little girl and approaches her) Hey chillin whatcha doin?

Girl on Bridge: Just feeding the goosies and the duckies some chocolate laxative…what's your name?

Tom: Laxative? That sounds like fun can I try? My name…is Tom the almighty ruler of cheese! AH hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ahem…What's your name?

Coat~nay!: (vivaciously) My name…is…COAT~NAY!!!!!! Fear me! Fear me!!!! Ahahahahhahahhahaha!!!!!

Tom: Courtney?

Coat~nay!: noooooooo! It's Coat~nay! You hafta shout it when you say it!

Tom: Coat~nay! Can I feed the ducks laxative too?

Coat~nay!: Yee-uh! Here ya go! (places laxative in Tom's hand)

Tom: Oooooo! Laxatively good! (flashes a cheesy grin)

Narrator: While Coat~nay! And Tom are feeding the ducks the laxative…Dib and Zim are about to have a show down…

Zim: I had so much fun Dib! I didn't know your human self was capable of such light hearted enjoyment!

Dib: (sarcastically) Yes, yes it was magical. But all good times must end…and that time is now…

Zim: What are you talking about?

Dib: Your assumptions were correct…I was out to get you all along…and I still am…

Zim: You rotten, disgusting, meddlesome, putri-

Dib: Silence! Let me reign some doom upon your doomed head. (does little quotey thingies around "Let me reign some doom upon your doomed head".)

Narrator: Now for the chain reaction! From inside of his coat Dib pulls a Massive Turkey bird…almost as big as his head…and throws it at Zim! Slow motion time!!!!! The turkey bird soars through the air causing a blow to Zim's head making him do a back flip into Coat~nay! Which causes Coat~nay! To rub her head in pain as Zim's fall sends him careening into the pond. This instigates the geese and duckies to fly into the air with makes their bowels go crazy. They then proceed to poop on Coat~nay!*z head. Coat~nay! Cannot take anymore of the poop that is being bombarded upon her.

Coat~nay!: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!! The poop! The poop! The nasty, icky, horrible, poooooooop! AHHHH!

Narrator: She continues to scream like this until she explodes…her body flies into the pond causing it to miraculously turn into hydrochloric acid! NOOOO!!!

Tom: (upset) Awww…my Coat~nay!

Zim: NOOOOOOOO!!! The burning! The BURNING!! GIR help me! I'm burning!

Dib: (Doing the dorky little laugh thing) I did it! I got Zim!

Narrator: GIR runs up behind Dib and pushes him into the pond of hydrochloric acid as well. The fusion of the oil and fat with the hydrochloric acid, causes both Dib AND Zim's fingers to turn entirely into soap!

Dib and Zim: FINGERS! LIKE!!! SSSSSSSOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!!! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Narrator: So as Zim and Dib sit burning in the pond of hydrochloric acid, Keef and Mark are on their way to city hall to petition the slaughtering of unicorns, Tom and GIR are again dancing in the street, and Travis, well, Travis is still laying on the ground, he is being attacked by squirrels….what will happen next? I don't know…I haven't thought that far yet! So stay tuned!