A/N: Hey! I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated! Lots of things have been going on with my dysfunctional life…I'm sure that Jet COULD tell you all about it…I'd prefer she didn't tho ::hint hint:: anywho, this should be pretty good. It's sorta based on my birthday dinner and another dinner at outback…but there's other references…like that smelly fat girl on the bus…gag me…well…this chapter goes out to…hey Travis, gimme some gnarly drummin playz ::some fast paced drummin' hullabaloo is going on in the back ground:: and the winner is ::opens envelope:: oh my goodness it seems we have a tie! ::gasp from crowd::

Old Man: Start the fucking story already whore!!

Sporkle: ::Eye twitches:: Seize that guy and uh….throw him out the theatre!

Old Man: Agh!

Sporkle: That was the wrong guy, but that's okay! I think everyone gets the idea hmm? Anywho ::insert cheesy smile here:: the winners are….Invader Jet and Sweet Insanity! Kudos to the Two of you! You forever live in my heart(

Disclaimer: I don't feel like going through this all over again;)

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Act 7: Oddities at the Bus Terminal

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Narrator: Last we left you to your horrible, dysfunctional lives of doom and misery…Zim and Dib were flailing wildly in a pond of hydrochloric acid…suffering from soap fingers (gasp) with nobody there to rescue them! For Keef and Mark had frolicked off to city hall to petition Unicorn slaughter, Tom and GIR were ::sings:: Dancin' in the Street! And Poor, Poor Travis is being molested by rabid squirrels. When it seems that all hope is lost…Invader Jet flies in from nowhere…and whisks Zim and Dib out of their predicament and they are magically cured of their sudsy fingers…Jet however…does not ever do things for free…Zim and Dib owe their LIVES to Jet…will she ever let them forget that? ::in a harsh undertone:: no. So, she invites Zim, Dib, GIR, Mark, Tom, and Travis out to Dinner…She also drags along her friends Sporkle and Courtney. No…Not Coat~naY! …Courtney… but Coat~naY! might just rear her ugly head…just be patient… As they currently are…the crew is standing at a bus terminal, waiting to catch the bus to Sakura! ^_^ yum yum! There's a crazy fellow standing next to them. It seems to be Johnny, the Homicidal Maniac.

Jet: (Enthusiastically) well! Here we are at the almighty bus terminal! Hoowah! This is my cousin Sporkle ::Motions to a little green Irken with Orange eyes and twirly antennae…the twirl is orange too. She is wearing a black belly shirt with the invader collar and arm...thingies (ya know tha lil triangle watchamadoozers), a red plaid skirt, platform boots with a clear platform that acts as a fish tank (bwahahahaha), fishnet sleeves and gloves that come to the wrist with the tips cut off:: And this is my friend-

Sporkle: (all of a sudden looks like Coat~nay! the little girl in the park) (maniacally) you thought you all were rid of me didn't you (quirks an eyebrow)

Tom: (Scareded ded) but ::Grabs GIR:: you had head explodey! How are you still alive? HOW! HOOOOOOOOW!!!

Dib: (matter of factly) well, there's a perfectly paranormal explanation for all of this…you see-

Everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BIG HEADED BOZO!

Dib: (hurt) my heads not big (climbs in a tree)

"Coat~naY!": (does that thing with her fingers like Mr. Burns from the simpsons always does) heh heh heh, teh heh heh, Bwahahahahahhah! Ah! AH! AHHHH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! (All of a sudden is back to Sporkle) Hey!

::Everyone's eye twitches, except for Johnny who sorta snickered::

Sporkle: ::Sticks bottom lip out and looks confused…her antennae go all forward…like the face Zim makes in battle of the planets when Dib was coming up behind him:: what? Why is everyone looking at meh like that?

::eyes are still twitching, Nny is still snickering::

Sporkle: Uh…okay…well this is DPIR ::motions towards a small…maybe about one and a half foot tall…robot disguised as a little orange monkey::

DPIR: ::blinks:: ooooooooo! ::latches onto Travis' leg:: I like you!

Travis: ::Cracks a smile…and reaches down to the little monkey:: I-I ::Chokes Between tears:: I love you too little DPIR

Sporkle: DPIR…Come to Sporkle!

Travis: ::Growls:: (in an under tone) no…

Jet: ::Looks confused:: anyway as I was saying…this is a friend I picked up…her name is Courtney ::Motions in Vannah White style to a tall, slender teenage girl. She has short black hair that is in pigtails and with pink tips. She's wearing a red belly shirt with a green alien on it. She has large blue pants with black boots and a black trench coat. She has her belly button pierced and smiles sweetly…Nny Sorta just looks at her::

Courtney: Hey, hey waddaya say!

Nny: ::Just Stares::

Everyone else: (in a unanimous, monotonous tone) Hello Courtney…

Courtney: Cheez, you look at me like I'm gonna flip out or something…you don't even know me! Why is it that whenever people don't know somebody they just automatically think something's wrong with them? People make me sick sometimes you know that? FUCK! ::eye twitchy and she begins panting::

Nny: ::Looks at her again::

Courtney: What are you looking at? You of all people should know what I'm talking about! Don't people ever look at you and ask… "Hey…what's with you crazy guy?" Huh? HUH?

Nny: ::Opens his mouth and sticks his finger in the air giving the impression he's gonna say something…he doesn't::

Courtney: Whatever…So where are we goin now?

Jet: We're off to dinner…

::Down the street run a crowd of people with pizza, a warthog, a mosquito, and a girl with a lint roller::

Girl #1: Look at all this pizza Jessie! However will I eat it all?

Jessie: I don't know Cony…however will you?

::The mosquito flies away from the warthogs ass and up to Jessie and pops the pizza out of her hand and onto the floor…she does that thing that Gaz does in Battle Dib where she reaches for the pizza but the bugs get to it::

Jessie: ::her surroundings get all black as our pals in the background huddle together…even Johnny::

Jessie: Let it be known, that from this day, until the end of the day, vengeance will be mine. Mosquito, you will not know the meaning of peace for I shall reign misery down upon your pizza tainting heart! ::eye begins to twitch making a strange cricket noise::

::Pan to nny's face…his eye twitches::

::Cricket Noise and Eye twitchy::

::Pan to Courtney's face…she's grinding her teeth::

::Cricket Noise and Eye twitchy::

::Pan to Jet…giving Zim a look of disdain::

::Cricket Noise and Eye twitchy::

::Pan to Tom's face…he's looking at her all confused like::

::Cricket Noise and Eye twitchy::

::Pan to Zim…he looks like he did when he got hit with the power amplifier beam::

::Cricket Noise and Eye twitchy::

::Pan to Mark's face…he stares blankly::

::Cricket Noise and Eye twitchy::

::Pan to Dib…he looks downright petrified::

::Cricket Noise and Eye twitchy::

::Pan to Sporkle…she's twitching on the ground from the intensity of the sound::

::Cricket Noise and Eye twitchy::

::Pan to GIR and DPIR…They're dancing::

::Cricket Noise and Eye twitchy::

::Pan to Travis…he's hanging upside down from a tree, with his arms stretched out to the sides…with birds taped to his arms and chest…Dib is stuck to his back::

::Pan To Nny::

Nny: I'VE HAD IT! FUCK YOU LITTLE GIRL! (pulls out a knife) YOU'RE GONNA PAY!

::Johnny heads over to Jessie and turns her into a mangled heap of blood and pizza::

Sporkle: ::Looks up from ground…:: Thank you…you… (back to the park girl) NO! Jessie! Why? Why kill my Jessie?!??!

NNY: Oh she's not dead…just a little…messed…

Jessie: (Holds up a finger) I'm okay! No need worry! I'm A OK!

Girl With lint roller: Why hello…it seems you all are fuzzy…are you in need of a lint roller?

"Coat~naY!": Heh tha! How are you? Attack that guy…he seems a little fuzzy.

Heh tha: OKAY!!!!!

(Heh tha runs over to Johnny and begins rubbing him with the lint roller and then runs away.)

Nny: I will get that girl…I will…

(Finally the bus pulls up…and Everybody boards the bus. A couple other people are already on the bus. Jessie, is in a seat by herself, and two Irken girls, one with blue eyes and one with green eyes, in the front right behind the driver. The Irken with green eyes has curly lightning bolt antennae and is wearing a shirt that's dark red and light red and she has a spiked collar and black invader pants and invader boots and has odd custom gloves…what's with those gloves. The one with blue eyes…well…she's not important…use your imagination . Another person that just happens to be on the bus is Heh tha, the girl with the lint roller. She Is hiding in the back seat. Courtney goes to the back of the bus and Johnny follows her…she sits in the second to last seat on the right side, and he sits in the seat next to her which is on the left side. This just happens to be the seat right in front of Heh tha. Zim decides he'll sit next to Jet…but Sporkle shoots dear Jet an evil eye. Mark and Tom sit next to each other as do GIR and DPIR. Travis Sits next to Sporkle. Dib sits alone. All of a sudden this huge…disgusting fat girl comes in and sits down next to Courtney…she is far from pleased for as she sits down…a wave of stench falls over her and Courtney feels as if she is going to die.

Courtney: Jesus Christ! What a stench!

(The girl repositions herself, rubbing her ass on Courtney's arm)

Courtney: My God…Could it get any worse? (Reaches into her trench coat and puts on her headphones…she's listening to Black Flag – Depression…She also pulls out a handy little Alien abduction Encyclopedia)

Fat Ass: (turns around…drool is hanging out from her mouth and falling onto here NIH nine inch heels shirt) Do yous have sumthing to say tuh may?

Courtney: Um…yes actually I do…You see…whenever you move…your ass brushes my arm and it is rather unnerving…and you do need to bathe as your grotesque stench is enough to make me vomit things I haven't eaten.

Fat Ass: ::Rolls eyes and turns around::

Courtney: ::Returns to reading when all of a sudden::

Fat Ass: Did you have something to say to me?

Courtney: I already told you.

(Nny jumps up)

Nny: Excuse me ma'am! You're blocking… MY VIEW!!!!!!! (pulls out a sword and swiftly mangles the girls body and throws it next to Jessie)

Courtney: ::Just looks at him:: thanks…I think…::Turns back to book…She's now listening to 88 Fingers Louie – Blink::

Jessie: ::Looks with a toe over at Fat Ass:: He got you too eh?

Fat Ass: uh huh…

Sporkle: Oh I will get that little Jet if it's the last thing I do…She's always after my men…ALWAYS!!!! The madness never stops ::Madness dog is sitting next to Travis…he eats it…Sporkle just stares:: Right…::all of a sudden:: TRAVIS! ::Grabs waist

Travis: Just sits there…

"Coat~naY!": Is that Dib over there? Oh…my…GOD! ::Back flips over to sit next to Dib::

Dib: ::With tears in his eyes:: What ::sniff:: do you want?

"Coat~naY!": ::gives him a kissie on the cheek:: Hi!

Dib: ::Eyes widen:: What was THAT for?

"Coat~naY!": I like you! You're so… ::all of a sudden:: ack! Why am I sitting next to you?!?!

Dib: ::turns back to window:: I don't know

Sporkle: Arg… ::backflips back over to travis:: Argh…I hate that Jet…grrr…the things that girl..says to me…ME!…and errrrrrr….JET!!!!

Jet: ::Motions over to Sporkle who's glaring at Jet:: What's with that Sporkle?

Zim: Beats me.

Jet: Well where were we? ::Scoots closer to Zim::

Zim: ::Scoots closer to window:: uh…I…don't know…

Jet: I remember now…::reaches hand over to Zim's side::

Zim: SPORKLE!!! SAVE ME!!!! ACK!!!!

Mark: ::Jabs Tom in the side and nods in the direction of the action:: Hey uh…look at that!

Tom: ::Rolls his eyes, shrugs, and looks out the window:: I've seen more interesting things…

Mark: ::Surprised:: Like what? ::raises an eyebrow::

Tom: ::in a jaded tone:: Like that one time in Seattle, when everyone was getting ready for the show, you walked over to the bleachers with your cell phone called up your sister, started masturbating, and pretended that there was a hockey game was going on in the field.

Mark: ::blushes:: shut up

Sporkle: ::Dives over a couple rows of seats and over to Jet…Picks her up and throws her over to travis…he bites off one of her arms::

Jet: Hey! That wasn't very nice!!! That was my squeezin arm! You ate my squeezin arm! Why my squeezing arm?!?!? AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Travis: ::Shrugs and looks away::

Sporkle: Zim! Are you okay?! Is your squeedly spooch still in tact?

Zim: ::pant pant:: I…don't know. ::pant pant::

Sporkle: ::Gives Zim a hug when…:: Ah! Stupid alien! Playing your mind games with me!!! You sicko!

Zim: Oh my Tallest here we go again…

A/N: If you haven't already noticed Sporkle is schizophrenic… she however…is quite oblivious to the fact that she is a schizo…when she is an irken she is in love with zim… and as an "Earthenoid" she is in love with Dib…sucks for her huh? She also takes on the appearance of the Earth girl "Coat~nay!" when she gets this way…Mind you this is the little girl from the park…not Courtney. Back to the story…

"Coat~naY!": ::Stands up on the seat and kicks Zim in the side…she snickers and goes over to sit next to Dib::

Dib: Great…you again…what's your problem any way?

"Coat~naY!": Beats the moose out of me!…all I know is I like you…I like you very, very much :-D

Dib: ::Rather confused:: Why?

"Coat~naY!": Well you've got pretty eyes, and pretty hair, and a gorgeous smile…I like you! ::Gives Dib a hug::

Dib: Right…

"Coat~naY!": Oh ::hurt:: I see…I'll just go and uh…sit in the middle of the floor and roll around for a bit… ::so she does precisely that.::

Irken girl #1: Hey Rix…that bus slave smells rather rancid don't you think?

Rix: I don't know Nera…he smells rather pretty…

Nera: Well I guess it's just me…IS it JUST ME?!?!? IS IT ME!?!?!?! HUH?

Rix: I guess so…

Nera: Well in that case…RIDE MY MOOSE BUS SLAVE!! Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Bus Slave: Would you two give it up?

::Rix and Nera look at each other::

Together: NO!

Narrator: So as the bus wheels turn and speed off into the sunset, we can only imagine what madness they shall be succumbed to in the chapters to come. So keep your eyes glued to the monitor and await my hideous return!



A/N: Mind you, this story is winding down to an end. I think I'll have three more chapters and that's about it. Then maybe I'll start something new, or maybe I'll finish secrets in the dark…who knows? Not me…