Chapter 2
Jack's eyes slowly flickered open. The dawn was creeping over
the decks, bringing with it the promise of a fresh, new day. But Jack's heart was not
filled with the hope that this should bring. Instead, he felt nothing but desolation.
He stretched slowly. The bare boards that he lay on
were uncomfortable, but he was reluctant to move. Last night, they had seemed as
good a place as any to spend the night, and now that morning had arrived, he realised that
at least the physical discomfort focused his mind, preventing his despair from becoming
utterly overwhelming.
Around him, others were beginning to stir, but Jack
remained locked in his private reverie. His mind constantly replayed the events of
that night, searching for a new angle, continually highlighting what he should have
done differently, would have done differently had fate seen fit to offer him a second
chance. Jack shuddered, wondering how long this would last- the guilt, the pain, the
horrible sense of hopelessness. Everything around him seemed so futile, so empty- how was
he to endure a lifetime of this?
Dangerously, an unexpected sob rose in Jack's
throat, and he stifled it quickly. He knew he couldn't allow himself to break down
completely. The anguish and self incrimination were bad enough. Suddenly, a memory flashed
through his mind; Rose, on the deck of the Titanic- "When the ship docks,
I'm getting off with you." He could still feel an echo of the joy that filled his
heart as she said those words, and remembered with a jolt thatit had only been four days
ago. He felt as though he had been living with this pain for eternity.
It was entirely his fault, he knew that with
certainty. Jack laughed humourlessly at the tragic irony his life had become. He had
assured Rose that he could offer her freedom, a new life, yet what had become of
that promise? And here he was, he who had preached about living life to the fullest,
unable to even muster the will to climb from his makeshift bed.
The sheer stupidity of his actions that night
suddenly washed over him. What had he been thinking? He ought to have insisted that Rose
stay aboard that lifeboat. Her selfless refusal to leave him had touched his heart and
blurred all comprehension of the danger they were facing. Even afterwards, there had been
chances that he had let slip away. If he had just held her hand a little tighter as they
plunged beneath the water, if he had only looked a little harder once they reached the
surface. The useless wishes swirled around in Jack's head.
Slowly, wearily, he climbed out of bed. He could
barely summon the energy to do so, but a lifetime of habit told him he must.
Surprisingly, he found he was hungry. To Jack's confused mind, it seemed almost obscene
that such mundane details of ordinary life should continue while Jack's entire sense of
being had been shattered over the past few days. Jack stumbled towards the third class
dining room, his head bent, lost in deep reflection.
Standing alone at the doorway to the dining room,
Alice was an incongruous site. In the midst of this sea of misery, she exuded confidence
and determination., the brilliantly red bodice of her gown contrasting sharply with the
washed out tones of the steerage passenger's clothing.
Yet, in her heart, Alice felt herself contaminated
with the same sense of despair. She desperately longed to help Miss Rose, having seen
first hand the haunted look in her patient's eyes. Yet she knew that this search, like so
many others that had taken place on these decks, was destined to end in heartbreak.
Taking a minute to collect her courage, Alice walked
boldly down the stairs. She was greeted warmly, for she had cared for many of these
passengers. Yet her enquires about a Jack Dawson were met with nothing but blank faces.
Sighing heavily, she was about to give up, preparing
yet again to deliver sad news to a patient who had hoped against all reason. Suddenly, she
noticed a young man standing alone in the corner of the room. His shaggy blond hair fell
in his eyes which bore the same anguished expression as Miss Rose's had.
Alice's generous heart ached for him, and for
whatever terrible sadness he must be enduring. She hated to interrupt what were
clearly private thoughts, but her loyalty lay with Rose.
She approached him, cautiously. "Excuse me,
Sir" she began, hesitantly. His head snapped up in shock; he had been so lost in is
despair that he had not heard her approach. "Please," he said, his voice
cracking "Whatever it is, just leave me alone right now."
"Please, Sir" Alice tried again. "I'm
looking for a passenger aboard this ship.." Jack's face hardened. "Well, I'm
afraid I shall be of no use then" he replied with an angry flash in his eyes. "I
am travelling alone."