NOT OWNING ZELDA!!
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The anger in Talon's eyes decreased to a point where he started to laugh hysterically. What's his problem Link thought to himself quickly. Then Talon finally spoke, "AHAHAHAHAHA, Ahhhhhh, I see now just testing the product before you buy, eh, Link me boy!?" Talon started "Well I really think you should be asking her not me, ya know. AAAHHAHAHAHAHAH!" he said as he continued to laugh. Link turned to Malon and asked "How bout it?" Malon's face lit up, "YES!" she answered immediately.
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Link was out building a separate home near the other end of the ranch, when trumpets sound and two royal messengers appeared on horse back. "Sir Link, is requested at the castle immediately on royal business, Orders of Queen Zelda." they stated and left. Link stopped in the house to tell Malon where he was going, "You be careful," she warned "That girl is crazy!" he kissed her and left on Epona.
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Link entered the throne room and suddenly every servant and guard left and shut the door behind them. "What is it Zelda?" Link demanded, a little freaked at them suddenly being alone. "OH LINK!!!" she yelled as she jumped from the throne landing on him, pining to the ground as she ripped of the top part of his tunic, Link was a little shocked by her strength. "Link I heard you are engaged," Zelda mumbled between kisses, while Link was still struggling to get her off with out hurting her, "well when I am done with you, you are going to want to call off the wedding!" then Link felt a little pinch on his neck and his eyes caught his reflection in a shinny shield on a suit of armor, then he saw it. He flung Zelda off of him, he did not care if he hurt her or not, "DAMN IT ZELDA YOU GAVE ME A FUCKING HICKEY!!!!" and he bust open a door and walked out of the castle screaming "DAMN YOU ZELDA, DAMN YOU, AND A WEEK BEFORE THE WEDDING DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!" he walked out to see Epona was not where he left her. Then he spotted her over by Zora's River getting a drink. Seeing how he didn't bring his ocrania he walked over to her , he bent down and splashed water on his face. As he was drying his face on his what was left of his tunic he noticed bubbles in the water, he looked a little closer, and suddenly Ruto's head popped up and pulled him in, soon he was in Zora's Domain. Ruto quickly dragged him into the throne room and chained him down on the platform facing the throne with ice cuffs. Link noticed that King Zora was not there, then he remembered that he had been moved to Lord JaBuJaBu's former throne. Ruto climbed on top of him and said, "Well, well, well, I heard my Linkypoo is getting married well I am just going to have to persuade you otherwise, eh!?" "OH NO YOU WON'T!!!" Link screamed as he began to struggle. Just then Link heard the sound of Zora guards screaming, "Hey stop her, Princess Ruto does not want to be disturbed!" "Hey how can she float on that thing!?" And with that Saria came zooming in on a floating leaf and smashed strait into Ruto knocking her off of Link. Ruto was then carried down stream and over the waterfall and as she went over the edge of the waterfall, the ice cuffs disappeared. Saria quickly snatched up Link and scooted out the front entrance. Link soon found himself in the sacred forest meadow being held down by hundreds of Deku Scrubs. Saria then walked up and grabbed Link's manhood, "Oh my, I have stolen back what is mine and my is it luscious and....." Saria ended her sentence short as all the Deku Scrubs scattered and Mido walked in. "WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!!!!!???" he screamed "LINK YOU HORNY BASTERD WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING SEDUCING SARIA LIKE THAT!!!!!!??" "I....uh...I...uh...it wasn't me.....uh........wait no!" Link mumbled. Mido then snapped his fingers and hundreds of Kakaroki children and Deku Scrubs surrounded him and lifted him above their heads. Link looked down and saw that they were carrying him to a deep ditch filled with starved wolfos. Right before they were going to throw him in Saria came to him and whispered in his ear "I can get you out of this on one condition." "Never!" Link answered "Fine then be that way!" she said and slapped him across the face and screamed "Oh you nasty basterd!" "THAT'S IT!!!" Mido shouted, sounding majorly pissed off "THROW HIM IN!" and as Link was falling there was a sudden flash of dark and Link soon found himself in Impa's manly arms. "Hello my darling." she said to him as she flew off. Link began to scream excessively. Impa trying to calm Link accidentally flew into a tree in front of Gerdu Valley. As Impa hit the tree she dropped Link, Link soon found himself not on the hard ground but being passed up by hundreds of Gerdus and was soon at the feet of Nabarou. "Well hello Link," she said casually "I have finally gotten you back, thanks to all of my fellow Gerdus, and the only price is that they all want a ride on the Link Mobile, if you know what I mean." Link looked around at the hundreds of Gerdus all smiling, he saw a few over weight Gerdus, and on closer inspection he saw that they had mustaches, then he realized, THEY WERE CARPENTERS DRESSED AS GERDUS!!!! Link tried to run but was soon closed in, "No need to run honey," Nabarou said "You shall be receiving great pleasure." Suddenly his large owl friend swooped down and picked Link up in his large claws "I thought you might need some help!" he said to him, "Well, where to?" he asked "Lon Lon Ranch, and hurry!" Link replied. Link got dropped off and quickly ran in to the house to see Malon there tapping her foot, "Where have you been, I was worried sick, you have a lot of explaining to do," she said "AND WHERE DID YOU GET THAT HICKEY!!!!?????????"
