The legend of Zelda:

Sabotage at the county fair



A/N: Check this piece o' work out! Pleez R+R!

"Come on, you have to let me in here!"

"I'm sorry sir, but I cannot allow such a hideous person to enter."

"But my grandmother is severely constipated!"

Ganondorf was standing at the ticket booth to the annual-twice-a-year county fair. He was trying to smuggle an atomic bomb into the fair because he knew by instinct that somehow, in some crazy turn of events… Link would be there…

"Well Navi, this is certainly a crazy turn of events," Link said. "Where going to the fair!"

"Whoohoo!" Navi cried in excitement. "I mean, uh… NO! You can't take me there!"

"I have to," Link said. "I just received news that my aunt was trampled by a stampede of rabid horses and cows. To show their sorrow, they offered to pay for the supplies for the wake. And I have been selected to get the money from them. Oh, and I sense Ganondorf is trying to smuggle an atomic bomb into the fair grounds by disguising it as his constipated grandmother… Who knew?"

"I did…" a voice said. "I knew it all… And I still do! And I will aid you on your quest to the fair. …But it'll cost you…"

I shadowy figure appeared in Link's doorway.

"Who are you?" Link gripped his sword.

"Lay down you weapon," the figure said. "I can help…"

The figure revealed itself. It was Ruto!

"Ruto?" Link asked angrily. "What are you doing HERE?! In MY house?! In MY forest? In MY planet?"

"That's taking it a little far, Link," Ruto said.

"I've told you before, I don't love you!"

"Fine! Then give me back my stone!"

"No!" Link stuck his tongue out.

"Well," Ruto put her hands on her hips, "if you won't gimme it, then no information for you!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"GET OUT!"

"FINE!"

"Man, I hate that girl!" Link shut the door.

"Hey!" Navi observed. "Where'd you get that door?"

"Uh, it appeared after Ruto left," Link said.

"Exactly!" Navi said. "It was a gift from her! Do you know what this means?"

"Cotton candy?" Link asked hopefully.

"Well, maybe in your mind," Navi shrugged. But it really means that no matter how many times you push her away, she is always giving her love to you. Don't you think you could give her any credit?"

"Um…" Link thought. "No."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Navi said. "That sounded kinda sappy."

"Now, it's onward to the county fair!"

"Yipee!"

Meanwhile…

"I must think of a way to get this bomb into the fair," Ganondorf thought. And thought. And thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought until his brain exploded!

"Duh…"

It took a while for Ganondorf's brain cells to recover.

"Oh, that's the fifth time this week!" Ganondorf said. "Now, the constipated grandmother method is getting a little old. I've been using it for years."

"Well, you could use a mask," a voice said. The owner of the voice appeared next to Ganondorf. It was Kurana!"

"Oh, you are so clever, Kurana," Ganondorf praised his prized worker with glory. "A mask! I will disguise myself as a woman!"

"But what about the bomb, sir?" Kurana asked.

"I will place it under my shirt so I will appear pregnant."

"And if it explodes prematurely?"

"Then, I will die. Well, we'll all go to hell someday."