Title: Sailor Bishounen Part 4

Author: Hakumei

Archived: http://www.angelfire.com/tx/canadianna/

Warnings: Craziness and insanity. Not to mention bad puns, jokes, and a strange version of Sailor Moon. Definitely yaoi, some yuri hints here, very mild but they are there, bad language (Oooo!), mild angst, not a lot but just to be safe. A very OOC Heero and Duo, it's after Endless Waltz, none of our G-boys will dress in drag (sorry if you guys like that!). At first mild Relena bashing BUT if you hate Relena (which I do); she actually turns good in this fic. She's actually in my opinion, somewhat cool, if one can believe that to happen to be Relena. A bit of a klutzy Duo and at first a womanizer version of Wufei. Ooo and swearing, in case you aren't into that stuff. Just to be on the safe side of mentioning.

Pairings: 1+?, 2+?, 3+4, 5+OC, 6+9, D+R, 5+S, 5+2, 5+OC, R+2

Disclaimers: They aren't mine, never will be. Not making any money out of this so there ain't no purpose in suing me! I just write it to ease my boredom during class and afterwards like during band or choir ^_^; Any of the original characters mentioned throughout the fic solely belong to me with the exception to Ides, she belongs to a friend of mine but I'm just temporarily borrowing her with her permission.



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Chapter 4: Jupiter Lightening

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"Noin, you should take a break. You've been working too hard on this case," Zechs said, narrowing his eyes at the bent figure looking over some pictures.

Noin looked up at Zechs frowning. "I know I should but how can I when there are criminals out there threatening the lives of innocent citizens?"

Zechs walked up to Noin and put an arm around her shoulder. "Come on. I'll take you out for supper tonight at one of the local restaurants, my treat."

Noin smiled at first but quickly frowned. "What about Wufei? We can't just leave him here without him knowing where we are. You know how he gets, especially if it's one of his infamous justice rants."

Zechs laughed out loud at that. "We'll leave him a note for him. He's a grown boy. I think he can manage. Besides, Heero and Duo's quarters are not too far from his. It's not like he won't be completely alone."

Noin sighed audibly as she put the case picture down on her desk. "Alright. I'll go. Just let me get changed first."

"Sure!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Heero was typing out his final report from his previous assignment. He was glad of the silence that consumed the entire house, permitting him to work without interruptions. He had just clicked on enter to print out the report when his comfortable peace and quiet ended.

"Honey! I'm home," a cheerful Duo bellowed from beyond the door.

Heero sighed and mentally noted that his partner was home and by the sounds of it, herding his way over. The door swung open and Heero turned his swivel chair to face a grinning Duo.

"Always wanted to say that," Duo said before he laughed out loud and smacked a hand on his thigh. He walked up to Heero placing an arm around his shoulders and bore another one of his grins.

"So what's up Hee-chan? Discover any new crime busts with heathen-like Mafia dudes?"

"Hn."

Looking down at Heero, Duo laughed merrily. "I didn't think so. So what are you up to tonight? No work or assignments slash mission reports due I hope?" Duo asked hoping to do something fun.

"No..."

Duo moved over a bit so he could face Heero. He took one of Heero's hands in his and looked up to his friend and partner. "Good, because I'm taking you somewhere fun, which is something you do once in a red moon. Come on," Duo said without bothering to wait for Heero as he grabbed an arm and pulled him out of his chair. Duo gave Luna a thumbs-up to the small cat that had been watching the scene with cat-like curiosity.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Walking Heero down one of the pavilions at the Preventers compound, Duo met up with Wufei, nearly running into the Chinese man.

"Maxwell, what are you doing to Yuy? He looks distressed," Wufei said as he rubbed the arm Duo had run into.

Still holding onto Heero's hand, Duo looked at Wufei with amusement in his eyes, mischief clearly written all over his face. "Oh, I'm just taking him out in town for a little fun."

Heero glared at Duo and asked bluntly to the young braided man, "where do you plan on taking me, Duo?"

Duo grinned broadly from ear to ear. "That's a secret my good man. You'll just have to wait and see. A little fun's not going to kill you now is it, so stop your scowling Heero. Honestly, it doesn't suit you."

Wufei snickered at Duo. "Be afraid Yuy, be very afraid and fear for your life. Fun in Maxwell's definition is usually something frightening."

"Hn."

Duo brought the back of his hand to his forehead as he finally let go of Heero and got dramatic. "Such confidence you have in me Wuffles! I have been stung by your words!"

Heero snorted and turned away from Duo. "Cut out the dramatics Duo. I'm about ready to turn back around and finish my work, alone."

Duo pouted as Wufei tried to hold back his laughter. "Oh now, now, Hee-chan. We're going out tonight whether you like it or not." The braided man clutched Heero's hand once more and continued to stalk towards their car with Heero trailing behind, hand still being held. Duo cocked his head to the side and yelled out to Wufei, "You're welcome to come along! The more the merrier!"

"No thank you, Maxwell. I am not interested in your find of fun. If there are any problems back here, I'll notify you via your cell phone, ok?"

"Deal. Ciao Wubbles! "

Wufei watched the braided figure tote the reluctant Heero, practically shoving him into a black Mustang convertible. He smiled as the car roared off into the setting sky.

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Poncho's Italian Cuisine Restaurant

Noin and Zechs sat at their table idly conversing about this and that, the ex-Gundam pilots, and small talk.

Noin looked up from her menu to Zechs who had taken a sip of his wine. "We practically have no time for fun any more ever since the Preventers became a main source of protection. After this mission I think we are both entitled to a LONG vacation somewhere."

Zechs looked thoughtful for a moment, staring off into space before he answered. "Yes, that does sound like a nice idea. I could use a little R&R."

"I'm sure Une won't mind giving us some time off. She can usually keep everything well under control on her own."

Zechs smiled as he kissed Noin's hand. "It sounds like a plan, Cherie."

The two made plans for their future trip. They did so until their meal finally arrived by their young waitress.

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Queen Chunaki grew rather tired of her servants' lack of victories. "Ysba!"

Taking a hesitant step forward and bowing deeply, Ysba looked up at his queen and mistress. "Yes, my Queen?"

"I grow tired of your failures. It sickens me how you lose time and time again against a bunch of high school rejects. I give you power and you practically throw it away."

"But my Queen!"

"Silence!" The queen looked at her freshly done nails and drew in a breath as she looked at the blonde man bowing before her, his bunny ears twitching nervously from the displeasure he showed his queen.

"I will give you ONE more chance. If you screw this up, you'll suffer the consequences. Get rid of those sailor freaks and collect the energy." The queen pouted briefly. "My babies are hungry."

"Yes my Queen. I will not fail you, I promise!"

Queen Chunaki looked down and smiled at one of her babies, patting its soft fuzzy little head. It gurgled and cooed, loving the attention it's mother gave it. It began to pur as she began to scratch it behind an ear.

"Go now, but do not fail me."

"As you wish." Ysba then disappeared, leaving a trail of gold dust behind him.

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Duo drove onto a reasonable sized parking lot, pulling the car to a stop. "Here we are Heero, Poncho's Italian Restaurant."

The two men got out of the car and made their way towards the posh looking restaurant

Duo walked in first, smiling at the Maitre D. "Evening sir. I have reservations for two under the name Duo Maxwell."

The balding man looked through the guest list and then nodded his confirmation as he picked up two menus. "Right this way sirs." The two men followed the Maitre D to their seats.

Finally arriving to their spots Heero cocked an eyebrow and looked over towards Duo who had been looking over a menu. "You made reservations?"

"Yup! I knew you couldn't resist the old Maxwell charm. Any known human, something you don't' seem to admit that you are, can't resist me!" Duo crowed.

Heero smirked. "That's because you threaten them."

Duo pouted and jabbed a finger at Heero. "Talk about putting out the flame...ouch. Burn."

The two men sat eating their meal peacefully, silently enjoying each other's company.

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"Oh Zechs! Thank you for taking me out for dinner. I really needed it," Noin said smiling across to Zechs who had been chewing a mouthful of food.

"It's o-" before Zechs could finish his sentence, a hand picked him up as he was brought to face a thing that remotely resembled a fire extinguisher. It hissed and then laughed as Noin screamed at the monster as a symbol began to glow furiously on her forehead before disappearing as quickly as it appeared.

"Go away...escape...go Noin..."Zechs managed to choke out as the monster tightened its grip on him. Noin nodded and began to run away when she tripped over someone.

"Eeeek! I'm so sorry sir I-Duo?" Noin said as she looked down at Duo's bewildered eyes.

"Uh...hey Noin. We'd better get going before that thing gets us," he said at first, dazed but then stood up and quickly took off leaving Noin slightly confused.

After a few minutes she noticed two sailor suited boys and one blonde girl in a similar outfit fighting the monster that attacked Zechs. She looked over to the left and noticed Zechs was now lying on the floor unconscious.

The monster hissed, yelled, and screamed, knocking the sailor clothed teens around it.

"MERCURY BUBBLES BLAST!" the room became misty and then Noin heard a scream and the mist slowly disappeared revealing the fire extinguisher monster growling as it held the struggling blonde girl.

Noin felt something scratch her leg and dared to looked down seeing a black cat staring up at her with wide blue eyes' a trail of blood running down her leg from the cat's scratch. "Ouch! Damn cat. That bloody hurts!"

"We have no time for this Miss Lucrezia Noin. Right now those Sailor Scouts need your help." Noin turned and saw tables and chairs being launched like cannon fodder at the three teens.

The cat continued her explanation. "I am Luna, and I must tell you. You are the Sailor Scout of Jupiter. Here, take this," she said handing Noin a pen-like object. "Call out Jupiter Star Power."

Noin looked oddly at the cat with disbelief but hesitantly yelled out, "JUPITER STAR POWER!"

She glittered and glowed for a brief moment before wearing a similar outfit to the blonde haired girl, except hers was green and she sported a pink bow.

"Interesting," Noin said looking over the outfit. Luna briefly introduced her to her powers as Noin listened intently.

As Noin was being briefed, a young man in a tuxedo and cape appeared. He twirled his cane and launched a red rose at the monster who was harassing Duo, Relena, and Wufei. "You should be ashamed of yourself, inflicting fear on the innocent citizens of San Francisco who are enjoying an evening out to dinner! I will not permit you to do this any longer!" With that, Tuxedo Mask jumped at the monster and attacked it with his cane.

After a few moments, Noin walked up to the battle and eyed the monster venomously. "Step aside Mr. Tuxedo man. This is my battle. No one ruins my date and gets away with a scratch!"

Noin glared at the monster before aiming her cupped hands. "JUPITER THUNDER CLAP ZAP!"

Noin--now Sailor Jupiter--dropped to her knees from exhaustion. She sighed, panting deeply to catch her breath when Sailor Moon came up to her and knelt beside her, grinning widely. "Welcome to the team, Jupiter."

At this point, Zechs began to slowly regain consciousness after being knocked out. A groan alerted Noin as she hurriedly rushed to his side. She checked him over to see if there were any major injuries, relieved to find none. A high-pitched trill of laughter caused Noin and the rest of the scouts to turn around and face a blonde man in bunny ears. "Ysba..." Duo hissed as he and Relena glared at the man.

"You think you can defeat me so easily you sailor scum, well here's a news flash kiddies, I am going to make sure you don't walk away from here alive." Ysba warned as he laughed once more before launching a blast of energy at the Sailor Scouts and Tuxedo Mask who had been standing close by keeping a close watch over the scouts. The dodged the blast easily, quickly recovering.

"Everyone, on the count of three we all blast this guy to hell," Sailor Moon announced to the rest. Heads nodded in agreement to the command. "One, two, aw to hell with it...THREE!"

All four scouts launched their attacks, causing Ysba to break out into a panic. He was hit dead on by the blast, staggering a little, face covered in blood. He gasped for air as he looked on furiously towards the group, hatred reflected in his eyes.

"You won't hear the last of me or my Queen, sailor trash," he shouted before disappearing into a trail of gold dust.

"That was odd," Wufei said as he watched the area Ysba once stood. Relena turned and noticed Tuxedo Mask had vanished. Damn, she thought before joining the others.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The scouts had finally changed back into their normal attire to join their respective parties. Duo told Noin he'd talk to her later since he had to find Heero, she nodded and told him she had to help Zechs. Wufei took Relena back to her apartment to make sure she was safe.

"Heero?" Duo called out as he searched for his friend.

"Over here!" Duo glanced in the direction the voice came from and found Heero stuck under a pile of tables and chairs that must have been launched at him during the attack. "Heero! Are you ok?" Duo asked as he removed the pieces of furniture off of Heero.

Heero grunted as he looked at Duo, standing up without even a scratch. Damn, Duo thought. The guy really is inhuman. "I was trying to escape and find you but what ever that was, attacked me before I could find you." Heero explained looking earnestfully at Duo with his usually cold blue eyes that now reflected an unknown emotion in them.

Wow, Duo mentally noticed, Heero's eyes can be very expressive when he doesn't close himself up to the world.

"Come on Heero. I'm tired. Let's go home." Heero nodded and extended a hand to lead the way.

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Noin helped Zechs up when he had fully gained consciousness. "Did the police arrest that terrorist and are you ok Noin?" were the first words he said when his eyes focused on her face.

She smiled at him as they walked out the door, Noin holding onto Zech's elbow. "Yeah. They were sent to jail."

"Good, but can we go home. I'm kind of weak and really tired."

"Sure thing," Noin said as they proceeded to leave.

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TBC...

Some C&C would be nice. Us authors thrive on that stuff!!! ^_^ As I typed this out, I noticed how incredibly lame Tuxedo Mask's lines are...oy!