do you love my insides? the parts you can't see? (Drusilla, Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Duo laughed as he looked at his hand. He felt so incredibly fucking stupid. He was always careful on missions. He knew what happened if he wasn't careful. He got hurt. Well, like it made any difference. He always got hurt. And then Heero got mad. But obviously, if you're Duo Maxwell, it doesn't matter if you're on a mission. You can beat the crap out of yourself cooking. Duo had absolutely no clue how he had sliced his hand from the tip of his fingertip to the bottom of his palm without noticing. But it didn't matter. Heero was going to yell at him. Stupid Heero. Got mad at Duo for every little boo-boo. Wouldn't give a damn if Wufei ended up cutting his own fucking head off, but if Duo caught a bullet in his shoulder that would have caught _Heero's_ head, then Duo got yelled at because the bullet got him. Duo couldn't even remember right now why he had saved Heero's life. Only saved the person that yelled at him _and_ gave him and excuse for yelling.
Duo chuckled to himself. "I guess it all makes sense in Heero-land. Hey, alternate personality, if we get separated, meet me at the mood swings." It was true. Heero had mood swings that were more violent than Jack the Ripper the last time Lacey-koi went back in time and stole his anti-psychotic drugs. (A/N: heh heh heh...)
"Ooooooo...." Duo trailed off to a whisper as he held his hand above his head. "I'm _smart_. Nobody told me how easy fresh onion is to cut. So I press too hard and end up cutting my OWN DAMN HAND open. Jesus Fucking Christ. (A/N: Lacey-koi: who's fucking Christ? Jessica: Jesus.) Stupid. Hey! I'm telling myself how stupid I am, maybe Heero will take the day off!" Duo's hopes faded into more futile dreams as the door slammed open.
"Psst, Lacey-koi, take care of my alternate personality for a while, ne? And remember to meet me at the swings. (A/N: 'kay, Duo. 5 good for you?)" Duo eyed Heero's enraged face. "Better make it 5.30. (A/N: 'kay. I'll make sure you have another happy ending in this one.)"
"Duo, stop talking to the author. Quatre told me you cut your hand open. What have I told you about being careful on missions? You must always watch yourself so as not to compromise the mission! You have to--" Heero stopped at the look on Duo's face. "You compromised your mission, didn't you? Answer me!"
Duo's smart mouth obviously did _not_ belong to his alternate personality. "Yes, Heero, I failed my mission. My mission was a dismal failure. Thanks to me botching the mission, there will be no onion in the food tonight. I'm sorry that you were so concerned about the importance of the onion in dinner, but soon my hand will recover enough to attempt another onion. It's only a flesh wound."
"Shut up."
"I did that yesterday. Now you have to tell me to shut down, like I'm a computer, or open up, like you're a dentist, or open down, even though that's harder to do."
"Shut up. I want you to see why I'm so mad. Come with me." Heero grabbed Duo's arm and began pulling him towards the kitchen.
"Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!" Duo was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, while having one arm pulled and keeping the other in the air.
"It's not funny." Heero looked at the kitchen full of shock. There was blood on the wall, on the floor, in the sink...somehow, it was conceivably everywhere. Then Duo began laughing. Heero turned to him in shock. "It's not funny."
"Heero, the only part of that that's blood is in the sink! I got in a ketchup fight with Quatre and Trowa. They went to go change after they lost and i had to make dinner while they cleaned up. Then I cut my hand, freaked, and bailed. i guess they stopped cleaning, too. It's not like I cut body parts off and sprayed blood around for fun! I know enough to wrap my hand up PDQ!"
"And why did you get freaked?" Heero was now uncomfortably close to Duo's face.
"Because when I dropped the stupid onion, I wasn't expecting it to suddenly turn into a bloody eyeball! Well, that's what it looked like anyway. Ya know, one of those things you never wanna see? And i was reminded of this dream I had one time with you and me. We were talking and we were both a little crazy, not like drugs, but like seriously psychological. (A/N: I'll give you Jack's drugs!) Go away. Well, suddenly you looked me in the eye, and said in this soft voice, "Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?" And I was telling you that of course I did, you were beautiful all the way through. You smiled and started singing, "I'm on the outside, I'm looking in, I can see through you, see your true colors, 'cause inside you're ugly, ugly like me, i can see through you, see to the real you..." And that's when you kissed me. This would have been the best dream of my life if it had stopped there, but then there was this weight on my feet. And I looked down and...I had just gutted you, and your entrails were lying on my feet. And somehow you smiled again and sang that little bit again...and then you gutted me. Except you cut one of my intestines open, and inside there were the bloody eyeballs. And then you look back at me without any eyes and told me, "Ugly. Ugly like me..." in the same soft voice you had used to ask me if I loved your insides. That's when I woke up screaming. Quatre was with me, and he was trying to get me to stop, but I started crying and all I could say to him was "Ugly...ugly..." and it had nothing to do with anything except maybe the fact that the two of us are more alike than we want to admit."
"Duo..." Heero whispered his words softly. "I'm sorry I made you talk about it. And I'm sorry I yelled. And I'm sorry..." Heero smiled a half smile. "I'm sorry I repressed you. The only reason I get in your face whenever you get hurt is because I'm afraid I'm going to lose you before I ever have you long enough to do this." Heero leaned forward and kissed Duo gently.
Duo grinned. "Ugly like me, ne, Heero? I feel the same way." He kissed Heero back, then pulled back. "Only about you, no da." Hero laughed outright at Duo's confuzzlement. (A/N: it's not a real word _yet_. Chelsea'll get it in Webster's someday, i swear it!) The two boys leaned into each other as an apology for the way they treated each other.
And they lived and forgot what nightmares were. And they agreed that sometimes dreams _do_ come true.
"Do you like my insides? The parts you can't see?" Heero's earnest face and voice inspired Duo to answer the way he really wanted to.
"Heero, every single part of you I have ever seen I have loved, and remember that I tell you all the time I love your heart. So I would also love every other part, because every part of you is beautiful." Heero smiled and his breathy wind-like tone quickly changed to a more musical range.
"I'm on the outside, I'm looking in, I can see through you, see your true colors, cause inside you're ugly, ugly like me, I can see through you, see to the real you." And Heero kissed Duo gently.
(A/N: DAMMIT! IT DIDN'T END NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY DUO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(A/N:Heero, did he buy it?)
Heero: He's not speaking to you.
(A/N: he will someday soon. like when i let him screw you into oblivion.)
Duo laughed as he looked at his hand. He felt so incredibly fucking stupid. He was always careful on missions. He knew what happened if he wasn't careful. He got hurt. Well, like it made any difference. He always got hurt. And then Heero got mad. But obviously, if you're Duo Maxwell, it doesn't matter if you're on a mission. You can beat the crap out of yourself cooking. Duo had absolutely no clue how he had sliced his hand from the tip of his fingertip to the bottom of his palm without noticing. But it didn't matter. Heero was going to yell at him. Stupid Heero. Got mad at Duo for every little boo-boo. Wouldn't give a damn if Wufei ended up cutting his own fucking head off, but if Duo caught a bullet in his shoulder that would have caught _Heero's_ head, then Duo got yelled at because the bullet got him. Duo couldn't even remember right now why he had saved Heero's life. Only saved the person that yelled at him _and_ gave him and excuse for yelling.
Duo chuckled to himself. "I guess it all makes sense in Heero-land. Hey, alternate personality, if we get separated, meet me at the mood swings." It was true. Heero had mood swings that were more violent than Jack the Ripper the last time Lacey-koi went back in time and stole his anti-psychotic drugs. (A/N: heh heh heh...)
"Ooooooo...." Duo trailed off to a whisper as he held his hand above his head. "I'm _smart_. Nobody told me how easy fresh onion is to cut. So I press too hard and end up cutting my OWN DAMN HAND open. Jesus Fucking Christ. (A/N: Lacey-koi: who's fucking Christ? Jessica: Jesus.) Stupid. Hey! I'm telling myself how stupid I am, maybe Heero will take the day off!" Duo's hopes faded into more futile dreams as the door slammed open.
"Psst, Lacey-koi, take care of my alternate personality for a while, ne? And remember to meet me at the swings. (A/N: 'kay, Duo. 5 good for you?)" Duo eyed Heero's enraged face. "Better make it 5.30. (A/N: 'kay. I'll make sure you have another happy ending in this one.)"
"Duo, stop talking to the author. Quatre told me you cut your hand open. What have I told you about being careful on missions? You must always watch yourself so as not to compromise the mission! You have to--" Heero stopped at the look on Duo's face. "You compromised your mission, didn't you? Answer me!"
Duo's smart mouth obviously did _not_ belong to his alternate personality. "Yes, Heero, I failed my mission. My mission was a dismal failure. Thanks to me botching the mission, there will be no onion in the food tonight. I'm sorry that you were so concerned about the importance of the onion in dinner, but soon my hand will recover enough to attempt another onion. It's only a flesh wound."
"Shut up."
"I did that yesterday. Now you have to tell me to shut down, like I'm a computer, or open up, like you're a dentist, or open down, even though that's harder to do."
"Shut up. I want you to see why I'm so mad. Come with me." Heero grabbed Duo's arm and began pulling him towards the kitchen.
"Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!" Duo was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, while having one arm pulled and keeping the other in the air.
"It's not funny." Heero looked at the kitchen full of shock. There was blood on the wall, on the floor, in the sink...somehow, it was conceivably everywhere. Then Duo began laughing. Heero turned to him in shock. "It's not funny."
"Heero, the only part of that that's blood is in the sink! I got in a ketchup fight with Quatre and Trowa. They went to go change after they lost and i had to make dinner while they cleaned up. Then I cut my hand, freaked, and bailed. i guess they stopped cleaning, too. It's not like I cut body parts off and sprayed blood around for fun! I know enough to wrap my hand up PDQ!"
"And why did you get freaked?" Heero was now uncomfortably close to Duo's face.
"Because when I dropped the stupid onion, I wasn't expecting it to suddenly turn into a bloody eyeball! Well, that's what it looked like anyway. Ya know, one of those things you never wanna see? And i was reminded of this dream I had one time with you and me. We were talking and we were both a little crazy, not like drugs, but like seriously psychological. (A/N: I'll give you Jack's drugs!) Go away. Well, suddenly you looked me in the eye, and said in this soft voice, "Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?" And I was telling you that of course I did, you were beautiful all the way through. You smiled and started singing, "I'm on the outside, I'm looking in, I can see through you, see your true colors, 'cause inside you're ugly, ugly like me, i can see through you, see to the real you..." And that's when you kissed me. This would have been the best dream of my life if it had stopped there, but then there was this weight on my feet. And I looked down and...I had just gutted you, and your entrails were lying on my feet. And somehow you smiled again and sang that little bit again...and then you gutted me. Except you cut one of my intestines open, and inside there were the bloody eyeballs. And then you look back at me without any eyes and told me, "Ugly. Ugly like me..." in the same soft voice you had used to ask me if I loved your insides. That's when I woke up screaming. Quatre was with me, and he was trying to get me to stop, but I started crying and all I could say to him was "Ugly...ugly..." and it had nothing to do with anything except maybe the fact that the two of us are more alike than we want to admit."
"Duo..." Heero whispered his words softly. "I'm sorry I made you talk about it. And I'm sorry I yelled. And I'm sorry..." Heero smiled a half smile. "I'm sorry I repressed you. The only reason I get in your face whenever you get hurt is because I'm afraid I'm going to lose you before I ever have you long enough to do this." Heero leaned forward and kissed Duo gently.
Duo grinned. "Ugly like me, ne, Heero? I feel the same way." He kissed Heero back, then pulled back. "Only about you, no da." Hero laughed outright at Duo's confuzzlement. (A/N: it's not a real word _yet_. Chelsea'll get it in Webster's someday, i swear it!) The two boys leaned into each other as an apology for the way they treated each other.
And they lived and forgot what nightmares were. And they agreed that sometimes dreams _do_ come true.
"Do you like my insides? The parts you can't see?" Heero's earnest face and voice inspired Duo to answer the way he really wanted to.
"Heero, every single part of you I have ever seen I have loved, and remember that I tell you all the time I love your heart. So I would also love every other part, because every part of you is beautiful." Heero smiled and his breathy wind-like tone quickly changed to a more musical range.
"I'm on the outside, I'm looking in, I can see through you, see your true colors, cause inside you're ugly, ugly like me, I can see through you, see to the real you." And Heero kissed Duo gently.
(A/N: DAMMIT! IT DIDN'T END NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY DUO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(A/N:Heero, did he buy it?)
Heero: He's not speaking to you.
(A/N: he will someday soon. like when i let him screw you into oblivion.)
