A Father Gained, a Father Lost



Looking across the room to make sure that Alexandria was still asleep Mariana grabbed the chain around her neck and pulled the small heart-shaped locket out from beneath her shirt. Sure, people had seen the delicate gold chain around her neck before, but they had never asked what it was. No one, not even her twin, knew what was in that locket.

She opened it up, the light slipping into the room from behind the closed curtains lighting up the room enough to cast a small beam on the picture inside. A picture of her father. Of the man who had abused her mother, to the point where her mother ended her own life to escape the abuse. Of the man who had abused her, to the point of slipping a knife into his own daughters abdomen, nearly killing her. Of the man who beneath all the hate, anger and drunkenness harbored a strong love for his twin girls.

A single tear slipped from her eye and she pulled a hand up to her face to gently wipe it away. The single movement caused more tears to slip from her eyes. This man had treated her in a way no person should be treated. But his love for her and her sister had shown through when he had signed the papers, releasing them from his custody. He had given up the only bit of family he still had, so that they might have a better life, so that he wouldn't risk killing one of them again.

She desperately wanted to see him one last time. He had come to her hospital room, but she had been asleep. He had left her a card, a get well card. Unusual that the man, who almost killed a person, would leave them a card. But he had, and he had left quickly so as not to upset his other daughter.

Mariana wanted to thank him for giving them up. She'd have a good life with Luka. She would not be hurt again. Life should only get better, not worse. But the opportunity for her to thank him would not arise. She would not be going to his apartment anymore, thankfully. And if the police ever did catch him, she might see him in court, but there was a good chance she would not be able to thank him for his sacrifice.

There was one possibility, however, that she could see him. But how could she pull it off? She was still weak from the stabbing. She had no key to get back into the apartment she now lived in if she did leave. But the urge to see him one last time and thank him was so strong. She pulled herself out of her bed and looked at her sister, breathing heavily, deep in sleep. Alexandria had seen him when he had signed the papers, she had been able to say goodbye. She had to get up early tomorrow to go to school; Mariana wasn't going to wake her at one in the morning.

Soundlessly, Mariana shuffled to the bedroom door and opened it just a crack, slipping out. She moved around in the living room, opening drawers and cupboards. When she found no key she looked in the kitchen, examining all cupboards and drawers to no avail. She looked around the apartment and noticed the door to the coat closet. She hurried over, walking past the fish that were swimming lazily in their large tank. She opened the door and looked around the closet.

She was in luck! Hidden behind some coats was a small hook. A key ring was hanging on the hook, and on that ring was one key. Perhaps it was a spare key to the door. She took it off the hook and quickly walked over to the door, unlocking it and opening it up. She slipped the key into the lock and twisted one way. In front of her, the door locked. She pulled it out and shut the door, locking it from the inside again.

She grabbed her leather jacket from the closet and very softly shut the door. Draping her coat over the couch she quickly walked into her bedroom. Softly, so as not to wake her sister, she opened the closet and grabbed a pair of black pants and a white short-sleeved shirt. Slipping out of her pajamas and into the clothes she grabbed a pair of black shoes and slipped them on over her socks.

She walked out of the room and into the bathroom. She found a comb and quickly ran it through her hair. That was about all she could do. Her face looked worn and pale. But there was no time for makeup. She had to go find her father. She figured he wouldn't be at the apartment, probably in one of his favorite bars.

She walked back into the living room and grabbed her coat. Luka had a late shift at the hospital that night, filling in for Chen who had called in sick. He wouldn't be home until it was time to take Alexandria to school. She'd be back before then. As long as Alexandria didn't wake up, which Mariana was sure she wouldn't, no one but her father and herself would ever know that she was leaving in the middle of the night to see him.

She put her coat on, buttoned one of the buttons. She unlocked the door and opened it up, walking out and locking it behind her.

"Hi."

Mariana jumped as she turned around. A woman was standing behind her.

"Hi." Mariana whispered, smiling quickly.

"You staying with Dr. Kovac?" the woman asked.

Mariana nodded. "Yeah."

"Are you a friend?" she asked.

"Yeah, well, not really…" Mariana stammered. "I'm his daughter."

"His daughter?" the woman furrowed her brow. "I would've remembered him having a daughter, especially one of your age. I have a son your age."

Mariana smiled, "He adopted us."

"Us?" the woman asked.

Mariana mentally kicked herself. Smooth exit. Not only was she caught by a nosy neighbor but she said stupid things when she was trying to get away as soon as she could. Things that prompted her neighbor to ask more questions.

"My twin sister." Mariana replied.

"You look like you're not feeling well. You should go back inside, don't go anywhere." The woman said.

"My friend has a problem," Mariana lied. "I need to go help her out."

The woman smiled, "What a good friend you are to go help her in the middle of the night on a school night."

The woman patted her shoulder, a pat that was a little too hard for Mariana. It jerked her body and she winced in the pain it sent shooting through her diaphragm.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Shoulder pain? I'm a masseuse; I could give you a massage." The woman asked concerned.

Mariana shook her head, "No, I had an accident recently. I…I hurt my…stomach. That's all."

"Oh! What happened?" the woman asked.

Mariana gaped for a moment, couldn't this woman mind her own business "I got a severe cut. I'm fine now, just still in a little pain if I'm moved the wrong way."

"Well then you should really be lying down sweetie." The woman said.

"I gotta go help my friend. She's probably wondering where I am." Mariana said.

"Do you need a ride?" the woman asked.

"No, I'll be fine." Mariana said.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yes," Mariana said, "I-I have a car."

The woman smiled. "Okay, don't get back too late."

"I won't." Mariana smiled and walked down the hall.

~*~*~*~*~

It was his fifth drink in the past hour. He had been drinking fairly regularly since he had gone to see his daughter. She was so pale, hooked up to machines and monitors. As he had slipped the card under her blankets, he had felt the cut on her abdomen. A large one. How could he have done that to his daughter?

He had come home drunk and angry, wanting to take his anger out on someone. She had been there, and hadn't answered his questions the way he had wanted her too. So he had gotten up to hit her. But somehow, a knife was in his hand. And he had plunged it into her stomach. As her blood had seeped out from around the knife which had been fastened to the handle in shock, she had stared at him. Her eyes had shown her shock, her pain, her horror. And when he had looked into them, growing darker in the pain, he had let go and ran out of there, passing Alexandria as he left.

He would've called an ambulance if he had not seen his other daughter entering the apartment. But with her coming home he knew that Mariana would get the care she would need.

The night before he had gone to see her he had been at his bar, drinking. Alexandria had come and he had signed away his paternal rights to the two girls. He did not know what had resulted of that, if they had found a home, if they were in a foster home, or a group home, or they were still at the hospital. But any of those place must have been better than the home he had been providing, or not providing, for them.

Still, it hurt him to see them go. It hurt him to know that his daughter had almost died at a young age because of him. It hurt him to know that he had abused her endlessly before, taken out his anger at himself and at his other bar mates on her. He loved her, and her sister. He had loved their mother too.

Thinking of their mother, Sandra, always brought a pang to his heart. He had loved her more than anything. He had adored her. But when he had lost his well-paying job he had drowned away his sorrows in alcohol, wasting even more of the little money they now had to get by on. And then she had gotten pregnant, not just with one child, but two. Twins. He had not only the responsibility of providing for a wife, but two children. And that had only driven him deeper into the needless alcohol.

That's when he had started getting angry. That's when he had become abusive. That's when he had to give up the nice house, and move into the apartment with crazy neighbors. That's when had abused his wife, and she had killed herself to escape it. That's when he had made life for himself, but most importantly his for his wife and children, hell. Pure hell.

And the hell he had now placed his two children into, was what had driven him to the bar again, not just for a night but nonstop. He was surprised that he hadn't passed out from being drunk.

He could tell that the owners of this bar were about ready to kick him out too. It would be the third bar he had been kicked out of. He wasn't being kicked out because he had started fights, he had just been sitting in his seat, drinking. And he wasn't being kicked out because he was too drunk, which he definitely was. He was about to be kicked out because the fact was, these bars could only hold so many people because they were so small. And the owners depended on a certain number of drunks coming to their bars each night. And tonight, the place was empty, because people didn't want to be around Jack. Because the fact was, he smelled.

He could see one of the owners getting up from his table to walk over to tell him to leave. Then the door opened.

~*~*~*~*~

Mariana stepped into her father's third favorite bar. She looked around, the place was surprisingly empty. The one thing about these bars is that even though there was an age limit, they didn't enforce it and keep the young people out. This is why she was able to just walk right in and walk to her fathers table.

When she got closer to him she smelled the reason people were staying away. He was drunk, and hadn't taken a shower in awhile. He was in bad shape. She cautiously walked up, the owners watching her. They looked like they were hoping she would take him out. They had seen her come before, sometimes with Alexandria, sometimes alone. But they were out of luck this time. She wouldn't be taking him anywhere. She was just here to say goodbye.

"Dad?" she asked and watched him. He didn't respond, just stared into his glass of, whatever concoction he had asked for this time. "Dad?"

He still didn't respond. She yelled a little louder, "Dad?"

His head snapped up, his eyes filled with bitter rage. "Lady, will you just shut your damn mouth?"

Mariana waited for him to recognize her, she had been through this before. Although she had never seen him this drunk. Maybe it was a mistake to come here, she could be putting herself in danger. She was about to bolt, when she saw recognition start to dawn in his eyes.

"Mariana?" he whispered in a strangled cry.

"Yeah, daddy." Mariana's eyes began to well up with tears as she stared into his tear-filled eyes.

"What are you doing here baby?" he asked her.

"I came because I wanted to say goodbye. And thank you, for signing those papers. We're living with this really great guy. You did the right thing dad." She told him.

He nodded. "The only time I've ever done the right thing for you two."

Mariana smiled at him. "I love you dad."

He looked up, his eyes wide. "And I love you! Never forget that...please! I love you!"

Mariana nodded. "Yeah, I know you do. Thanks for the card."

"How are you sweetie? What happened?" he asked.

"Well, I had to have surgery to repair a tear in my diaphragm," she said and saw her fathers eyes widen in pain and shock. Quickly she added, "But its fine now. I'm out of the hospital. I can go back to school in a week."

Jack smiled. "I'm glad you're not going to be down for long because of it."

Mariana nodded. "Me too."

But he wasn't listening. The door to the bar had opened and he was staring over her shoulder.

"Watkins!" a gruff voice shouted.

Mariana turned around as her father stood up behind her. A large man, his face filled with rage was standing in the doorway.

"Do you have money?" the man asked.

"Only for the drinks I've had tonight." Her father said quickly.

"You've owed me for weeks. Either pay now, or I do something different." The man said.

One of the owners stood up. "Hey, Jack's paying here tonight. He's not leaving without paying me after we haven't had any business at all tonight because of him. You two take your little bar brawl outside after Jack pays for his drinks."

"No, we're gonna settle this now." The man said reaching into his coat and pulling out a gun. He pointed it in Jack's direction; only, Jack was blocked by Mariana's small, frail frame. "I'll take care of the young chick first."

Mariana watched in horror, shocked to the point where she was unable to move. The man pointed the gun towards her chest, and pulled the trigger. From the behind her she heard her father cry, "No!"

Soon, he was in front of her, and the bullet hit him squarely in the chest. He fell back, pushing Mariana to the ground as he fell. His back was lying across her legs as her body slammed to the hard wood floor. Pain racked through her body, and she felt a pull at her wound.

She squinted, her eyes in pain and then opened them all the way. The pain blurred her image for a couple seconds but when she was able to see clearly she saw one of the bar owners pushing the man out of the door, while the other one ran to call an ambulance.

She moved herself up on her elbows, wincing in the pain, and then looked to her father. Ignoring the pain she quickly sat up and pulled him up, closer to her, cradling his head in her arm, his body resting on her lap.

"I'm sorry…I hurt…you…so bad…before…" he gasped as blood poured out of the small hole and down his shirt. He looked around for a moment, looking down at his now blood-soaked clothes, then to a red spot on Mariana's pants. "What's…wrong...Mari?"

Mariana looked down and, with her free hand, unbuttoned her coat. Her shirt had a blood-stain on it. Some of her stitches had torn, opening her wound a little. "I'm fine daddy. You just, you just rest."

He looked up at her. "Tell Alex…andria…that I love her…please. And…always…remember…that…I love you too."

"I will dad. I love you too." Mariana said as hot salty tears began streaming down her face.

He father raised one hand, wavering, and brushed aside the tears that were streaking her pale face. "You're…beautiful…Mari."

And with that, his hand dropped to his side. His eyes rolled up to the back of his head as he took one last shuddering breath that shook his whole body. Jack died in the arms of his daughter.

Mariana cried out, as a pained sob tore through her body. Dropping her head down to her father's blood-stained chest she sobbed, her body rocking back and forth as she held her dead father in her arms.

~*~*~*~*~

Minutes later, the ambulance wailed up, stopping in front of the bar. Two paramedics ran in, a stretcher between them. The bar owner met them. "The man died, but his daughter is hurt."

The paramedics rushed over. "What's wrong miss?"

Mariana looked up, her eyes heavy from the tears she had just cried. "He fell into me when he was shot, my stitches opened up."

"Where are your stitches?" the woman asked.

"By my diaphragm, I was stabbed a week ago." Mariana said.

"Are you supposed to be in the hospital?" the woman asked.

"No. I was released a couple days ago."

"And your father brought you to a bar?" the woman asked.

"No. I came here. I'm not living with him," Mariana told the confused woman. "It's a long story."

The woman nodded. "We're going to take you to County General Hospital. From there you can work out your arrangements."

Mariana nodded. "The guy who adopted me is on duty there in the ER now."

The paramedic nodded. "Good. Do you mind riding in the same ambulance as this guy? We're going to take him to the hospital and they can put him in their morgue until things are taken care of."

"I'd like to go in with him. I can walk to the ambulance." Mariana said.

"All right. I'm really not supposed to let you do that, but I will." The woman said.

She followed the stretcher outside. The cool air hit her face, freezing the streaks where her tears had flowed.

They put the stretcher with her father lying on top, covered up completely by a white cloth, into the ambulance. Next they helped her in. A paramedic climbed in after her and the woman ran around to the front and sped off.

The man turned to her. "Let me take a look at your cut."

Mariana held her shirt up a little so that he could see it. "We don't need to worry about it yet. You'll be fine till we get to the hospital. A couple of the sutures broke so part of the wound is opened again."

Mariana nodded and lowered the shirt, staring at the covered form of her father.

~*~*~*~*~

Alexandria rushed through the doors of the ER. She was filled with dread. She ran up to the desk. "Where's Dr. Kovac?"

"Alexandria, what are you doing here?" he came up behind her.

She turned around and saw him. "I woke up and Mariana wasn't in bed. She's not in the apartment; I don't know where she is!"

Luka's eyes widened, his heartbeat quickened, and his face paled. "Okay."

He pulled Alexandria into the admit desk area. "Randi, have you gotten any calls from any ambulances?"

"No." Randi shook her head, snapping her gum.

"Okay, we're gonna call the police." Luka said. He reached towards the phone but stopped halfway when an ambulance call came in.

"A shooting at Dirk Lar's Bar. One DOA, one needs sutures. ETA two minutes." The call came.

"That's one of my dad's favorite bars." Alexandria said, numb with shock.

Luka ran to the ambulance bay. There was a cold, sleety rain coming down now. The ambulance screamed to a halt and the doors opened. Luka watched as a stretcher came out, not bothering to look inside.

"Luka." He heard the voice from inside the ambulance. He looked in and saw Mariana sitting down.

"Ana!" he shouted. He rushed forward as the paramedic pulled Mariana down and wrapped his arms around her. "What happened?"

"This guy came in and threatened my dad and then said he was going to shoot me and then him. My dad stepped in front of us and was shot and the guy was kicked out," Mariana exclaimed hurriedly. "My dad fell into me after he was shot and the force of falling back tore a couple of the stitches."

"Come on in. I'll get you stitched up again." Luka said and put his arm around her, walking her in.

Alexandria was standing in the place where he had left her staring in shock. She saw Mariana and her eyes widened. She ran over. "Ana!" She gave her sister a hug and then hit her gently on the arm. "If you ever leave without telling me again, I will personally kill you myself."

Mariana nodded. "Dad said he loves you Al."

"Dad? When did you see dad?"

"Just now. That's where I went. To say goodbye and thank him. He died, he was shot. I was the one the gun was aimed at, but he ran in front of me." Mariana said.

The twins, shocked, sat quietly while Luka redid Mariana's stitches. Other ER workers popped in to see how everyone was doing. The whole ER, even those who didn't know the twins, were in shock at the sacrifice Mariana's abusive father made.