Baby

I can remember way back in my life, the moments in my life that changed me. I remember sitting in my crib with another little girl, X5-452. Maxie and I shared a large crib as infants. She was cute, and not much younger than me.

I remember meeting Zack for the first time. He glared at me, but I heard what he was thinking. He was scared that he wouldn't be a good leader, that he would fail his kids and wouldn't be able to live up to the standards set out for him. Kind of advanced for a six year old, but Zack was always smart.

I remember standing at attention in from of a man with a Cane. He said to Lydecker that I was special. I was one of the ones he spent extra time on. Me, Zack, Maxie and Dragon. He told Lydecker to watch for me seeing things before they happened, and for me to hear what others were thinking. I knew about all those things. Lydecker began to train me as an intelligence sort of officer because I was bright.

I remember sneaking into the Man with the Canes office. It smelled like an after-shave that Cree started wearing on missions. I remember reading a book, while Dragon stood guard. The book spoke of a 'God' and his special little ones.

I love Dragon so much, and it hurts me to be with him. He's in so much pain that I can't began to hear his thoughts. All I hear is the pain and suffering of a little boy who was told to bend over so he could become a man. I want to run and hold him, like Tinga used to do, but I can't.

The limitations my siblings put on me never cease to amaze me.

I remember being named by Dragon. We all named each other. Dragon remember the special little on in the book. Adam. I became Adam. I named my strong sister after the other one. She became Eva, the first. And she was the first.

I wish I could go and kill Lydecker for killing Eva.

But again I have limitations I owe to my siblings.

I can remember all the training I went through back there, in Manticore, and how much of it was bull. We were created to be killers, we didn't need training. The only reason to train us was to make us all the same. I can kill just as well as Dragon, but my deaths are more slow and painful, more methodical.

None of my siblings want to think about me killing anyone. To them, I'm Adam, I'm a pariah that Manticore wants to sacrifice. They won't let that happen. They'd die to protect me.

I remember one mission I went on. The other don't know about it. Manticore wanted it kept hush hush. I was implanted inside the cell of the Terrorist Group S1W. My job was to take down some of the big boys. I did. I killed nineteen terrorists, and the others don't even remember. They think the others just disappeared. My partner and I disposed of the bodies in the river. When we got back to the truck, she and I were covered in blood. Lydecker handed me a towel and told me that should clean up before I got back. He didn't want the others to know what I was doing.

The limitations placed on me never cease to amaze me.

I remember Brin being brought back in. I was put in charge of making her one of us. It was Lydecker's way of seeing if I was loyal. I did it, and it was hard, but I suceeded where six other Psy-ops-ers had failed. I remember Lydecker pulling me aside and telling me to go back to the barracks crying, saying it was too hard. Lydecker wanted the others to think I wasn't as capable as I am. I did what he said. What else could I do.

I remember when they told me they had Tinga, and later Ben. I was called to my duty, to keep the other X5's minds off the deaths and onto helping poor little Adam. Lydecker mentioned that I might be sent out as the guilty party, due to my genetic similarities to Ben. I am a Female Ben. The others were angry that he would suggest such a thing. They volunteered for missions to cover up Ben's death and Tinga's disappearance. I remember giving Frankie a little mission from Lydecker, not the Director. She took Case, and sent him to an old friend of Brin's.

I remember Trigs coming into the barracks one day a little more than a year ago. Zack was on life support, Max was barely alive, and they were both with us. She had been forced to remove Zack's heart. I forced myself to cry. I can remember walking down the halls with Cree, creeping past guards and hiding from Doctors. I snuck in and held Max's hand for a few minutes. Cree stood watch to make sure I was not interrupted. He wouldn't want to see me sad.

More than anything, I remember many of the dreams I had. I remember the dream about Eva. I had that dream seven or eight times a month for three years up until the day she died. I knew Ben was going to kill those people. I had dreamed about that all my life. I loved Ben, but when I began to realize that the dreams were real it scared me. Finnigan smuggled me in a journal so I could write down my dreams. Frankie began to sleep lightly next to me so she could hold and comfort me when I wake up screaming.

I remember escaping from Manticore. I felt the flames lick my face in my dreams. I woke up the others and we headed out a window. Cree held my arm as we ran through the woods. Trigs explained that the director had instructions to Cauterize the building if Manticore was found out. I watched as the flames actually engulfed the place I had called home. In a way, I was sad to let it go. I knew that the world was never going to accept me. The others maybe, but I was different. I was not a Transgenic, I was Trans human. During Trigs training, she found information about a species of fish that lived in the bottom of the ocean. They have no sight, but they avoid predators. They have pre-cognitive sight. They see things before they happen. The communicate using brainwaves, the same way I see the future and read minds. The seem to be sleeping when they do this, like me. Trigs figured that the Fish DNA was in me, Max and Jondy. The three of us didn't seem to need to sleep. I was officially a Trans-Human X5.

Trigs didn't tell the others. She decided it was better if the others never knew that I was a Trans-Human. She tried herself to forget. She didn't want to think that I was Trans-Human, because the Trans-Humans were stronger than the X-series. They just weren't good for deep-cover. Trigs didn't want to think I was strong enough on my own.

I remember seeing the signal to re-group. Cree wouldn't let us go back. He was afraid that it was a trap. I saw it in a dream that it was. We decided to stay free and keep running.

Cree split us up. He wanted to stay with me, but I decided to go with Dragon. He went with Trigs, and Frankie went with Finn. Cree knew that if the six of us stayed together we were in danger. He was a little happy that I was going with Dragon. He knew Dragon would protect me.

Dragon and I headed for Portland. I knew some people there from an old mission, and knew Dragon was safe there. Dragon could tell something was wrong when we entered the bakery and I got him a job but not me.

I left that night. Dragon was there to see me off. He handed me his cell phone and a gun. He wanted me safe. He knew there was nothing he could do to protect me anymore. He knew I needed to be out on my own. I left him in the bakery with another Transgenic, an Psy-ops member we named Joe. He looked like Jack, but he reminded me of a TV Psychic I saw when I was young.

I left Dragon behind and headed out on my own. He gave me a hug goodbye and then walked down the street the other way. I hopped on a bus and headed for Canada to try and find some other Transgenics who wouldn't think I was a baby.

Some of the guards said I never really worked. I spent most of my life in the labs fiddling with data or the minds of wayward trannies. I never went on any do-or-die missions like the others, yet I was said to be indispensable.

I know why.

My limitations.

The others were all pushed past their limits. Their minds and bodies were pushed to a point most couldn't survive. They needed a reason to do what they did and that was me. I was always the baby sister. I needed to be protected and loved. The others would die for me. I was their reason to stay at Manticore. They couldn't leave me behind.

I was their baby. I was the little one they lived for. Protecting little Adam seemed to be a reoccurring theme in all of their lives. They needed me to take their minds off all the things they did. They did them to get back to me. I was what kept them alive.

I was their little baby.

But I'm all grown up and on my own now. I need to prove that protecting me was worth it.