(continued)
4:42 P.M.
Wednesday 16 May
718 Odaiba Terrace, Apartment 8-H
I stood in front of my three older siblings, my arms outstretched to show off my dress for the dance. My oldest sister oohed at me, and I could see in her eyes that asking her was a bad idea. "You just look so adorable!" she cooed. I rolled my eyes, and hoped that she wouldn't start to get overemotional and actually hug me.
My other sister, who was home from college for a week-long break, looked me up and down. I saw her taking into consideration every part of my outfit, from my white spaghetti-strapped dress to my glasses-free face, all the way to my hair, which I had put into a bun atop my head - and washed almost eight times since I had gotten home from school, to try to get at least some of the purple dye out of my hair. I don't know why I ever let Hawkmon convince me that violet was my color...
I waited for a sarcastic remark to come out of my sister's mouth. Knowing my sister, who was an ultra-feminist who, at college, decided that shaving her legs and underarms was oppressive, she wouldn't be able to hold back a scathing remark about how my high heels and my uncharacteristic primping for the dance reverted the international feminist movement back to the times of shogun concubines. That was how my sister was...actually, that was how all my siblings were. No matter what it was - ballet lessons, computer camp, or anything - my siblings always found a way to muck it all up.
Surprisingly, however, my sister simply smiled. "You look beautiful, Yolei," she said sincerely.
My mouth nearly dropped open. Was my sister actually being nice to me? "That's it?" I asked nervously. Just when was the other shoe going to fall? When was she going to say that I looked beautiful, and include that gigantic but that I knew was coming? "No snide remarks? No man-bashing? Not even a comment on my eyeliner? That's just not like you!"
My sister shrugged in response. "It's a big day for you, Yolei," she said as she snapped her bubble gum. "I remember my first date to the Youth Day Dance. I wouldn't want a sister of mine to make me feel bad the whole night because of something she said about my dress." On that note, she shot a death glance in the direction of my oldest sister, who gave an innocent look back. Now, I'm not a genius - sure, I have a pretty good IQ level and I'm good with a computer, but I'm no Ken Ichiouji - but I kinda deduced that my sister had been in a situation like that before, and unfortunately for her, if an Inoue doesn't learn to be nice through bad experiences, an Inoue just doesn't learn to be nice.
Take my older brother, for instance, who had just finished shaving his head in the bathroom - yes, he does that, and he leaves little annoying hairs all in the sink - and looked at me with a cynical eye. He looked positively bored and annoyed that I asked him, along with my sisters, his opinion on my outfit. He yawned, and scratched his head lazily. "What are you trying to pull off, geekazoid?" He said, using his "pet" name for me ever since I beat him at Donkey Madness when I was six. "You're dressed like an angel. You're such a devil, you're never gonna fool anyone."
I rolled my eyes. It figured that my dweeby older brother would make a stupid comment. My older sister threw a throw pillow from her position on the couch at him, and it landed squarely, hitting him on his shiny bald head. "Dork," she said, as he gave her the evil eye from across the room. My oldest sister just laughed.
I smirked, not being able to help it in front of my siblings. Not only was it going to be one of the few times this year all four of us would be home - my sisters both lived outside of town - but it was hard not to laugh and have fun with my siblings. They were a big pain in the butt sometimes, but I know I would miss them if they were gone. "I'll take that as a compliment," I said to my brother, who was now mumbling about not getting enough respect from his own sisters, or something.
"Wow, you're all dolled-up, Yolei," my oldest sister said wistfully, calming down some from her "adorable" fit a minute ago. "This guy you're going with must really be something."
I took that as a direct offense to my integrity as a female on this earth, and as an offense to my eyesight, which, I must admit, could be better with my glasses. What did she mean by that? Davis is so not "something;" he's more like a nothing, actually. I mean, I didn't care about going to the Youth Day Dance with Davis...it was just that I actually had a date this year. Last year, I couldn't make it because I was sick with the Osaka flu - which had been spread around the school a few days earlier by a contaminated mystery meat shipment - and the year before, I hardly knew anyone who was going, and I hung around Joe and Izzy like a lost puppy. No, this wasn't about Davis; it was the pure romance of going to the dance on the arm of someone; anyone.
I rolled my eyes again - I seem to do that a lot around my siblings - and rested my hands on my hips. "Please don't make a big deal out of this," I whined to my sisters. Like that was going to help.
"How can I not make a big deal out of this?" My eldest sister replied. "This is your first date to the Youth Day Dance. It's a big thing. Why, I remember my first date to the Youth Day Dance..." She started to get those annoying twinkling stars in her eyes, that, knowing my overemotional sister, meant that she was getting nostalgic. Perfect. "...I went with David Nagsuki. We danced, we kissed, we stayed out all night..."
"...And three more Youth Day Dances and seven years later, look where it got you," my other sister said amusingly, poking her in her very plump - and very pregnant - stomach. "Mrs. Nagsuki." All my sister could do in reply was roll her eyes and laugh.
See? It's contagious. You can't help it when you're around my family.
"Well," my brother sighed. "You've shown us the dress. You've walked up and down the hall. You've done that girly spinny thing." I marvel at my brother's wit. "Now change out of that until you have to go. You don't want to get it dirty." Confused that my brother was the one who was being cautious and caring, I walked in a half-daze down the hall back to my room, but before I could shut the door and change, my brother called back to me, and trotted down the hall after me. "Look, Yolei," he said. "I just want you to know...you really do look pretty tonight. And you're gonna knock your boyfriend's socks off when he sees you."
I opened my mouth to protest that he wasn't my boyfriend, but I said nothing. It wasn't everyday that my brother was civil to me, and I didn't want to ruin it by speaking up. "Um...thanks," I said instead.
"Just don't let him push you around, or make fun of you tonight, you hear?" He said, giving me a playful yet effective shove, sending me stumbling into my room. I wasn't hurt; it was normal for my Neanderthal brother to do something like that. It was just strange that he was doing it while he was actually being nice to me. "Because making your life hell is my job, geekazoid!"
5:54 P.M.
Wednesday 16 May
408 Hanaishi Drive, Apartment 5-C
I walked past the kitchen of my family's small apartment, a small bookbag which I used to use to go to school when I was nine in tow, and I saw my mother, donned in her warm blue sweater and a smile, busily making dinner. She had her back to me, chopping up some vegetables I was sure I wouldn't like, but she could hear my footsteps against the linoleum floor. I could feel her smile, even though I could not see it.
"Are you leaving so soon, Ken?" she said in her cheerful voice. I blushed; I was trying to get by her and out of the door before she could ask me any questions. No such luck. "You should have dinner first before you go."
I smiled back at my mother as she turned around and wiped he hands off on her apron. "That's really okay, Mom," I said politely, shifting the bookbag uncomfortably from one shoulder to the other. "I...kinda wanted to get there before dark this year."
"Are you sure?" she pressed. "We're having fried liver and onions tonight, with lumpy mashed potatoes! I know that's your favorite."
The smile faded from my face. The dinner she was making wasn't my favorite; it was someone else's. "Mom, you know that's not my favorite," I said quietly. From the look on my mother's face, I could see that she understood she made a very costly mistake. "That was Sam's."
My mother nodded, and her cheerful smile turned into a somber frown. "Oh," was all that she could say.
I smiled weakly - a reminiscent smile - and I took that moment to make my way out of the apartment. "I'm gonna be going now, Mom," I said, placing a soothing hand on my mother's shoulder. "Tell Dad I left when he comes home from work."
My mother looked into my eyes, and I saw a fear in her eyes at the mention that I was leaving. I knew that this would happen; it happens every year. She tries every damn trick in the book to get me to stay at home tonight, and then, she cries all night when I'm gone until I return. I hate doing this to her - I know that she fears for my safety, being out at night and all - but one day, she's going to have to understand that this is something I have to do, and there's no way she'll be able to stop me, this year, or any year.
"At least have a snack," she said, returning to the kitchen countertop. She opened the refrigerator to her right and took out an apple, taking no time in slicing it up into sections. "I'll make you an apple, Ken, and if you don't want it now, you can have it later on when you leave, if you're cold."
I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, she was bustling out of the kitchen and into the hall, opening the hall closet door and rummaging around the coats. "And here," she said, handing me my dark blue sweater, "you should bring this along in case you get hungry."
I smiled at my mother's absent-mindness. "So," I mused, "I should eat the sweater if I'm hungry later on, and the apple slices will keep me warm?"
My mother grinned at her own mistake, and soon, she was laughing at what she had said. "Oh, my," she declared, "I am quite out of it today. I'm just glad that I'm not operating any heavy machinery!"
I grinned at my mother. It was so nice to see her happy, and on this day, of all days. I knew how somber and upset she usually was every Youth Day, and I also knew how terrible it made her feel to know that I was going out alone every Youth Day as well. I wanted to make her feel better by staying home...but I couldn't. There was something more important waiting for me out there than there was inside my house.
"I've got to be going now, Mom," I said, grabbing the sliced apple and placing it in a Zip-Loc bag. I made my way towards the front door.
"Ken, wait!" my mother cried after me, as I had placed my hand on the doorknob. "Are you sure you want to do this, sweetie?" she asked, but more like pleaded. "Please; do something else tonight. Go to the movies. Stay at home. Just please; don't go. You know that Sam was your age when -"
"Would you rather have me go to the Youth Day Dance, Mom?" I asked her, a tinge of venom in my voice. I resented my mother then; she knew how important it was for me to do this tonight, and still, she didn't want me to go.
She shrank back, a little ashamed herself of her asking me to stay home. "I just don't want to lose both of you," she said in a timid voice. My heart broke then; I knew what she was saying was true. She was afraid of losing me - just like she lost Sam. "I can't lose both of you."
"You won't, Mom," I replied. "I promise, you won't."
I opened the front door of our apartment and took a step out. But then, I just remembered something very important. I ran back inside the house to see my mother returning to her kitchen work, a little slower and with less cheer than before. "Mom!" I said. She did not turn around. I asked, more urgently, "Did you remember to -"
"I might be out of it, Ken," she said, still not turning around. "But I wouldn't dare forget that."
I looked into the livingroom one last time before I left, and sighed with relief as I saw the slowly burning candles sitting beside my brother's photograph.
"So, how do I look?"
