(continued)
I'm sorry to nevathefantasy; I hate having people mad at me.
6:40 P.M.
Wednesday 16 May
245 Cherry Blossom Way, Apartment 8-H
He caught me spying on his primping before the dance, and gave a half smile. "You should only know," he said, not taking his eyes off the mirror, "how much I put into this night. The suit, the corsage..."
"You combed your hair," observed with a smirk as I leaned against the wall, waiting for my unusually narcissistic brother to stop playing with his tie in the mirror. "And I see you've lightened up on the hair gel."
Tai's face broke out into a wistful grin. "She likes it better without," he said simply.
I smiled. My brother was so totally gone over this girl. I just hoped she didn't break his heart... "You ready to go, Tai?" I changed the subject, checking the clock in the livingroom. Even though it looked like we were going to be early, I didn't want to take any chances on anything wrong happening tonight. "Or am I going to have to pry you away from that mirror?"
Tai nodded, and looked in my direction - and stopped in his tracks. "What in hell are you wearing!?!" He gawked ay my slinky dress, his eyes bugging out on shock. I rolled my eyes. I knew my overprotective older brother was going to overreact at the sight of my dress; he usually overreacted at anything I wore that showed a little skin. He was always displeased with any sign of me growing up. I couldn't believe he still acted like I was just a kid - it's not like I was still eight, and he was protecting me from Piedmon in the Digiworld. I was fourteen, and all that protective big brother stuff was growing old.
"Tai, I'm not a little girl anymore," I reminded him. I had every right to wear this dress, revealing as it was. "And besides, Mom and Dad said it was perfectly fine."
Tai's shocked eyes moved towards the livingroom, where my parents sat on our beige linen couch, watching the evening news, his eyes searching for some explanation for my outfit. Without even looking in his direction, my mother felt his eyes upon them, and she answered, "Oh, Tai; what's the worst that could happen?" She said, and I smiled. It always felt goof to have your parents on your side instead of your brother's. "She's already bought the dress with her own money, and it's too late for her to change out of it now. Besides, we trust Kari. We know she's not going to do anything rash."
My brother sighed uneasily, but my mother's last remark made butterflies churn in my stomach. My parents were trusting me tonight enough to allow me to walk out that door wearing what looked like only half a dress - they were trusting me to not do anything out of the ordinary...or something I might regret tomorrow. And here I was, going out with T.K. to the Youth Day Dance, plotting and hoping to do something that my parents were definitely not going to approve of.
Forget about it, my mind said, even though my conscience felt otherwise. It's too late to change your mind now. Besides, what they don't know won't hurt them...
"Well, if that's the case," Tai said, grabbing the keys to Dad's black Honda Civic on the kitchen countertop. "Then I guess I'll just have to accept everybody's good judgment. We should really be going, Kari," he said, turning to me. "We don't want to be late."
I rolled my eyes, this time in amusement. "Isn't that just what I said two minutes ago?" I asked, my words falling on Tai's deaf ears.
My parents turned their heads from their position on the couch to see us off. "You two have a good time with T.K. and Sora at the dance," my father said. "Tai, that's my car, so you better drive safely, and try not to be home too late."
And, as we crossed the hallway of our small apartment and I nearly got through the door without any further questions about my apparel or my date, my mother called out, "oh, and Kari! Have fun at Yolei's house after the dance!"
I blushed a deep red as Tai closed the door behind us, and we stood in the open hallways of the Cherry Blossom Apartment Complex. What I had told my mother was a bald-faced lie, and from the disturbed look on Tai's face, I knew that he knew.
"Okay, Kari," he said, stuffing the car keys in his suit pocket. "I know you're not going to Yolei's house after the dance; you're going to be with T.K. So, what's up? Why are you lying to Mom and Dad?"
I looked down at the ground, not wanting to meet my brother's eyes. He thought I was too young to be wearing something like my dress; how could I tell him I was planning on losing my virginity to T.K. tonight? "Can we just get to the car, Tai?" I said, trying to change the subject. I looked up at him, and by the confused expression on his face, I could tell he was reading my guilty emotions through my eyes. "Please?"
Tai took my refusal to answer the question as a definite warning: I wasn't talking, but more importantly, he knew I was going to do something less than innocent tonight. "So you lied to Mom and Dad, and told them you'll be somewhere tonight, and you won't be home." Tai didn't have to think that much to understand what was going on. "I bet you're planning on doing something with T.K. tonight that you don't want Mom and Dad to know about. Am I right?"
I sighed in defeat, yet I was so relieved that he hadn't figured out what exactly that something was. "Guilty as charged," I said impatiently, tugging on his arm towards the elevators. "Now can we go?"
"Do I want to know about what you're planning on doing with T.K. tonight?" he asked. I couldn't say anything in my defense; I couldn't tell him that he shouldn't know, because then he'd figure out what my plans were for this evening. My brother's brain might be a little burned out from being in the sun too long when he's playing soccer, but when it comes to sex, his mind is like a steel trap - just like any teenage guy. And if I told him my plans for after the dance, he would most likely overreact - as he always does - and not even drive me to Sora's house, where I was supposed to meet T.K. to go to the dance. I was stuck between a big brother and a hard place, and it seemed like I had nowhere to turn.
I sighed, as Tai finally gave in, and we began walking out of the apartment building. "It's just like Mom and Dad said, Tai," I lied. "T.K. and I aren't going to do anything stupid tonight, and we're not going to do anything that we're gonna regret." I took a deep breath as we left Cherry Blossom Way and found Dad's car on the street. "So just let it go, okay?"
"Okay, fine," he said. "Just don't do anything tonight that I wouldn't do."
I hated lying to Tai like that, but I had to. There was no way that he was going to understand why T.K. and I decided to do this tonight, and there was no way he was letting me go to the dance if I had told him the truth. Hopefully, however, it was going to be the truth, and I wasn't going to regret what I hoped to be the most memorable night of my life with T.K., though there was a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach - the same one that told me my dress was too short - that was saying I shouldn't go through with this tonight, that fourteen was too young to lose my virginity, even to the boy that I loved.
Maybe Tai's overprotective "big brothering" really did wear off on me...if only a little bit.
6:54 P.M.
Wednesday 16 May
1211 Kori Street, Apartment 3-C
Ding-dong.
My mind reeled and I froze in my bedroom as I heard my mother kindly open the front door in the hall.
Oh, God. Tai was here, and he was early.
I froze, standing in the middle of my bedroom, with my beautiful violet dress stuck over my head. Yes, over my head. I might be coordinated enough to play soccer and be on the tennis team, but when it comes to putting on a dress with zippers and hooks and annoying coat hanger loops, I'm all thumbs.
So, there I was, a prisoner of my own dress, and my date just came in the sweep me off my feet and take me to the dance. If nothing else went wrong that night, I would have been relieved; hell, I would think it'd be a miracle. Something inside me just felt that this night wasn't going to go off as I had thought only two days before...
A knock fell upon my bedroom door, and I nearly screamed in surprise and frustration. "Um, Sora?" I heard Tai's voice through the door. "Are you okay? Your mom said you were in there for a while. Is anything wrong?"
"No!" I yelled back, a little too frantically. Even though I looked like a stuffed lavender pastry, I didn't want to ask my mother for help, and there was no way I was opening that door while Tai was still out there. Then, I just remembered that Kari was supposed to come along with Tai to my house to be picked up by T.K. I thought that was strange at first, when Tai had first told me about it this morning, but now I was incredibly thankful for this kind twist of fate.
"Uh...Tai?" I asked the door sheepishly. "Is Kari there with you?"
"I'm here, Sora," the sweet voice of Kari answered back, and I was relieved to know I would not have to stay in this uncomfortable position for long. "What's wrong?"
With my one free hand (since my other was so conveniently stuck above my head in the Chinese Finger Trap known as my dress) I opened my bedroom door a crack and pulled Kari in my room, trying not to be rough but also wanting to close the door before Tai could see me.
"Sora!" Kari cried at my rough hand on her wrist. "You don't have to be so rude. What's the big problem anyw..."
It was then that Kari looked up to see me, standing before her, in my bra and a slip skirt, with my beautiful lavender dress over my head.
And she burst out laughing.
"This isn't funny," I grumbled, as Kari's laughter didn't seem to stop. I wriggled in discomfort, which resulted in the dress only falling more over my head and neck, still keeping me locked in a purple satin cell. I turned to Kari. "Now could you please help get me out?"
"Sure," she said with a chuckle. She walked over to me and, as she fumbled with the mass f lavender over my head, began to make small talk. "So," she began, "you and Tai are finally going to the Youth Day Dance together. I'm glad you two finally came to your senses."
I smiled at Kari's seemingly innocent comment. Everyone thought that me and Tai were a perfect couple; I had thought that, too, for the many years that I've known him. I would have kept thinking that, and would have been perfectly happy with Tai at the dance if it was not for Matt and my surfacing feelings for him. I should have been happy with Tai; I should have never had these feelings for something that I know didn't feel the same way about me. Why did I have to feel this way about Matt Ishida?
"But Sora," Kari continued in a serious tone, interrupting my thoughts on the blond boy. "I want you to know...Tai really likes you."
"Does he?" I asked innocently. I knew that Tai liked me - otherwise he wouldn't have asked me to the dance - but I really didn't know just how much he cared. Maybe what I was doing was wrong; I obviously wasn't totally committed to liking Tai if I kept having these feelings for Matt, even after all he said yesterday. I didn't want to hurt Tai, and if I didn't feel absolutely sure about what - or who - I wanted, maybe I shouldn't even be going to the dance with him.
Kari nodded. "And he's put a lot into tonight. He's put his heart on the line for his, Sora...he's put his heart on the line for you."
My mouth opened to speak, but no words could pass my lips. I didn't know what to say; did Tai really feel that deeply for me? Oh, why was I doing this to him? Why did my life have to be so complicated like this?
"This night means a lot to him," Kari continued, as I listened patiently. "and I don't want my big brother to have his feelings hurt tonight." Kari looked me in the eyes as she pulled the now untangled dress out of its position tousled above my head and down over my body. It fit, just like it had when I had bought it two months ago for this dance in advance, like a glove. "And I don't want his heart to be broken, either."
"What are you getting at, Kari?" I said impatiently. I wasn't enjoying Kari beating around the bush; I wanted her to get to her point already. Why did she think that I was going to break Tai's heart? Just how much did she know about me?
Kari sighed. "Look, just...I know that there's more to this than just you and Tai, and I'm afraid of what might happen tonight if you two go to the dance together. If you don't feel as strong about Tai as he does about you, then please...don't do anything about it tonight. Just have fun. You can tell him how you feel about him - or anyone else - tomorrow at school, but for tonight, please don't say anything. It's Youth Day, Sora...don't hurt him tonight."
It took me a while to get in all of what Kari had just requested. So she really did think I was going to hurt him tonight; the way she talked about Tai's feelings, she must know that he really likes me. Everything she said just confirmed my suspicions that what I was doing tonight was wrong; that I should have never said yes to Tai in the first place, that one Monday morning in Physics class. I was going to try not to hurt him tonight, though - God only knew I didn't want to hurt Tai at all - but I couldn't guarantee Kari that nothing would happen tonight, nor could I guarantee that everything would be just like it used to be before this Youth Day Dance.
"I promise, Kari," I lied, giving a nervous laugh, trying to act sincere. "I'll try not to hurt him tonight; I swear." As Kari moved to my back and began to zip up my dress, I tried to change from this very awkward subject by saying, "So, what are you and T.K. planning on doing tonight? Something special, I'm guessing."
Kari grunted discontentedly - and I swear I could feel her frown from behind me - and flung the zipped up my back, rudely fastening the dress to my body. "Why does everyone ask me that???" She said, exasperated. "We are going to the dance! We aren't planning on anything, you hear me? We are just going to have fun at the dance, and nothing more!"
"Okay, Kari," I said, trying to calm her down. Wow; whatever trigger I pushed when I asked her that, it must have been a pretty big one for her to blow up like that. And hey; it wasn't like I commented on her incredibly skimpy outfit, which, I'm surprised, my mother let her into our house wearing that. "Whatever you say. I'm not going to ask anymore."
"Well, that's a relief," she said in an annoyed tone. Stepping away from me, she crossed her arms in front of her barely covered chest. "Are you ready, Sora? 'Cause, you know, I actually want to get to the dance tonight."
"All right, all right," I said, heading towards the door, not caring that my hair probably looked like I had just been through a wind tunnel, and wondering what was keeping Kari in edge and nervous since I mentioned T.K. "I'm ready to go."
I hurried out the bedroom behind Kari and shut the door, too caught up in the thought of my dress catastrophe and my date with Tai that I forgot about the single red rose corsage I needed to give to June for her blind date, its blood red petals slowly drooping on my dresser surface.
Tai scrunched his face up in disgust as he scrutinized his black silk tie in the hall mirror, only fifteen minutes before he was to pick up Sora at her doorstep to take her to the Youth Day Dance. I, decked out in a black satin strapless dress that was sure to knock T.K.'s socks off, slapped my hand over my mouth to keep from giggling loudly as Tai tried to fix the unsatisfactory tie, attempting to juggle the purple lilac corsage box he bought for Sora and his shiny black "special occasion" shoes in his hands.
