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Chapter Eight
The Marines were surprised to find the flightdeck-bay deserted. After their stunt they had at least expected to be cartered off by MP-guards without so much as a 'welcome back'. West and Vansen exchanged a look with each other as they stood in the hangar, unsure what to expect.
They all started when the hatch was opened and Ross and McQueen entered, followed by a sheepy looking nine-eight.
"Ten-hut!" Vanessa shouted and the Wild Cards stood to attention and saluted their COs awkwardly. Commodore Ross walked along their line-up, inspecting each Marine and RAF pilot closely as he passed them. Nervously, Hawkes shot McQueen a glance from the corner of his eyes but the Colonel just stared straight ahead with a stony face.
"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Ross asked suddenly. "Stealing USMC gear and going AWOL will be persecuted with severe penalties!" The pilots tensed at that.
"Do you know what time and nerves it did cost me to persuade Fleet-Com that this was NOT a black Op? I risked my ass for you idiots!"
"Sir, I can explain, Sir!" Chambers stepped forward. "The five-eight suspected that this officer was AWOL and tried to retain her. By executing their orders they picked up the MIAs as well ..."
"DON'T GIVE ME THAT PILE OF CHIG SHIT, Flight Lieutenant!" Ross roared. "I know the five-eight better than you! They deliberately disobeyed Fleet-Com orders, stole a Navy Vehicle and started a guerrilla war back on Nox. And if that isn't enough they corrupted the nine-eight as well!"
That's it then, Hawkes thought. They would probably be discharged from the Marine Corps dishonourably.
"As much as I agree with Fleet-Com to reprimand you severely, I have persuaded them to keep this whole Op compartmentalised," Ross said. "If one of you even breathes as much as a word about what happened down there you will be praying to go waltzing with the Chigs. UNDERSTOOD?"
The Marines and RAF pilots hesitated for a moment before they shouted in unison:
"SIR! YES, SIR!"
After Ross had left the flightdeck, McQueen came over and some groans were heard coming from the Marines. McQueen had always a way to make them uncomfortable if he thought they had screwed it. The silence drew on, making the Marines even more edgy. They were all tired and wished they could take at least a shower before turning in but when McQueen was in one of his moods it was better to keep your heads level and clear.
"Five-eight," he started and then a cold blaze out of blue eyes scanned the nine-eight. "98th, you heard Cdr. Ross and I second every word of him. If you ever make such a stupid stunt again without informing me beforehand I gonna serve you to the Chigs for breakfast!" After another warning look, he nodded his head towards the hatch to the dockingbay.
"Take a shower and turn in, Marines. Dismissed!"
They all gave a united sigh of relief and made their way to their quarters. But, although they had all felt tired, after they had taken their showers, both squads were still too excited to turn into their bunks, especially when Mullen and Wang gave their own special play-act about the Op on Nox. Meg watched as Mullen dramatically described his dogfight with a Chig fighter when she caught sight of Hawkes who was sitting on his bunk. She walked slowly passed him, careful not to draw any attention of the Marines to herself and opened the hatch.
It took only minutes before Hawkes arrived on the deserted flightdeck and when he spotted Megan leaning against the wall, hiding away from the door, he stepped over to her and they kissed hungrily.
After a while they drew apart and sat down on the floor, hugging each other softly. Hawkes had picked up her hand and caressed it gently. He toyed the signet-ring on her middle finger and when Meg noticed she smiled sadly.
It was time to say good-bye, she thought. To Hawkes as well as to Woolfe. Especially to Woolfe and the others of her old squad.
"A very dear friend gave me that ring once. He said it would keep me safe," she pulled the ring off and put it into his palm. "I want you to have it," she said sadly. "Think of it as a heirloom from a tankbrat and her tanks ..."
Hawkes knew that this was some kind of important ritual for her and although he couldn't find words to ask her about it, he appreciated that she had chosen him. It made him kinda special, he thought.
When she looked up, she saw Cooper smiling down at her. Chambers drew his head towards her and put a soft kiss onto his cheek. She knew this was their last time together. She wanted to tell him so many things but she remained silent. She couldn't find the words to tell him that she liked him, he could probably not relate to it anyway and she didn't want to be hurt again, not now after she had made up to her squad by rescuing the two Marines.
Cooper brushed his lips over her mouth, encircling her neck. It was strange not to feel the navel beneath his finger but he could feel her pulse quickening in the same drumming rhythm as his own.
"Meg," he whispered, "Uh, I ..." he broke off when she met him with a level gaze.
"I know," she replied softly. "I like to be with you ..." Cooper smiled at that and nodded his head.
"Yeah, I like it as well," he answered shyly. They kissed again more seriously then, and missed the sound of footsteps coming from the corridor.
When McQueen entered the flightdeck, he stopped dead in his tracks. The picture of the kissing couple disturbed him but he watched the two silently nevertheless until Hawkes looked up and rushed to his feet immediately. Nodding towards the hatch he dismissed the young IV but when Chambers passed him, he held her back.
"Chambers, we have to talk! In ten minutes at my quarters!" he simply said and turned towards the hatch.
Megan inhaled deeply before she knocked on the hatch to McQueen's quarters. When she had sneaked out of the lockerroom, Hawkes had given her a disturbed look but she had smiled at him reassuringly. She wished she would feel this assurance right now. McQueen opened the hatch and with a nod of his head he ordered her in. Meg looked around for something to brace her on, but the Colonel's quarters were almost bare. After McQueen had slowly walked over to the port, his back to his godchild, the young woman felt at a loss. She had expected him to be furious, yelling at her but until now he had remained silent.
"Sir?" she asked nervously and finally McQueen turned around. He scanned her with a cursory glance and when his eyes fell on her left hand, noticing the missing ring, he felt somewhat relieved. Ever since she had worn Woolfe's RAF signet-ring it had been a constant reminder of the hell she had gone through on some deserted planet.
"You have said good-bye ..." he stated matter-of-factly.
"Yes," she said slowly and raised her head to look at her uncle. She could see that he was disturbed by all the things which had happened. But most of all she could see the real concern in his eyes and she suspected that it was not solely because of her but of Hawkes as well. "I have said good-bye to the seventy-two ... It took a long time but I've finally managed ..." she replied.
"What about Hawkes?" the Colonel inquired sternly. "Have you said good-bye to him as well? He's just a kid, Meg. He cannot understand that you needed someone to get over the deaths of Woolfe and the others. He probably thinks he's in love with you when all you wanted was a bit of comfort to forget your lost ... love."
Chambers stared at him for long moments then she started to laugh bitterly. McQueen watched her in terror as she slumped down on a chair, laughing and crying at the same time. He feared that she had finally lost her grip.
"Lord," she said after she had calmed herself and watched McQueen who still stared at her. "Do you really believe I just traded one tank for another? Oh, Mac, you should know me better than that! Yes, I loved Woolfe and he loved me. But not as you think!" She closed her eyes for a moment and thought about the last time when she had seen the big tank alive. "Even when he asked me to wear his ring I knew he only saw the mother in me. He never even so much as hinted at me that he wanted more than friendship. Woolfe was my ... son, a big one, yes, but nevertheless I only had maternal feelings for him. He needed my protection just as the others in my squad ..." Megan said and hugged herself.
"Cooper is different. He doesn't see me as his surrogate mother. And he makes me feel different ..." she smiled sadly and searched for words. "Uncle Mac, for the first time I feel like a woman, like a normal human being and not like some freak you can call names. If you think me selfish for wanting to cherish this feeling then to hell with it. I like Coop, I like him very much, don't you see that? Not because he's a tank or because he reminds me of Woolfe. I like him because he makes me feel special ..."
McQueen was deeply touched by her words. He had never imagined that Megan would think of herself as a freak. But then again he knew how cruel people could be, he had heard too many names and innuendoes over the years himself and he could only try to imagine what Megan had been gone through.
"I'm sorry, Meg," he said and squatted down in front of her. Megan smiled sadly and took his hand and brought it to her cheek.
"Promise me that you take good care of him. He looks up to you and the thought that he'll be with you ..." she broke off when McQueen frowned. "I know he's a Marine and that he doesn't need someone to fret over him but to think that you'll look after him makes me feel better. You were right though, he helped me get over the deaths of Woolfe, Thurston and Carter because I was able to save someone who is very close to me. I failed the last time but not this time ..."
Epilogue
A day later the Wild Cards led by McQueen accompanied the number 9-8 squadron to the flight deck where the transporter waited. The corridor to the bay was crowded and after another quick glance towards McQueen who was walking in front of him, Cooper reached out towards Meg and squeezed her hand gently. Their eyes met for a moment.
They both were aware of the fact that they wouldn't see each other for quite a while, if ever. But they had remained silent, never voicing the feelings they felt for each other. Both afraid of what would happen during this war. On the flightdeck Hawkes nodded towards the Flight Lieutenant and her Lieutenants.
It was noisy, the Cards exchanging last minute addresses with the pilots. When Meg stepped through the hatch she turned around to have a last look.
She owed Cooper much, she owed them all very much and she knew that. But she also knew that she had to come to terms with the deaths of her crew-mates first before she would be able to face the Cards and especially Hawkes again.
They exchanged a last long look and Megan mouthed 'see ya', before the hatch of the transporter was sealed. The Marines retreated to the middeck lounge and watched the starting craft. Nathan stepped beside Cooper after the propulsion lights of the RAF transporter had long vanished into the vast darkness of space. He reached up and put a hand onto his shoulder and squeezed it.
"It is always difficult to say good bye ..." he said and Cooper turned to face him.
"Yeah, especially if you've never learned how to do it," Cooper replied shyly and Nathan gave him another pat on the shoulder.
"There are no lessons in saying good bye, Coop. In-Vitro or not we all have problems with it," he replied. "But at least you know that she's safe, you know where she is. I wish I could say the same about Kylen."
Cooper turned and watched his friend. When he had first met Nathan he had thought that he was a milksop, always pining away for his lost love. But right now he could somehow understand how West felt. Seeing Chambers off had torn something inside of him, something which felt strange and yet familiar. He still had to come to terms with this particular feeling but he knew that he was not alone. Nathan squeezed his shoulder again knowingly and smiled sadly before he left him alone.
Hawkes stared out of the port and watched the stars blinking. He wished he was never forced to say good bye to Nathan or the others. They had become a family to him and he did not want to loose them and ever being alone again. But if he and Chambers would survive this war, perhaps he wouldn't be alone anymore.
He turned away from the portwindow and came face to face with McQueen who had just as silently watched the departing ISSCV. The Colonel gave him a short understanding nod, then left the middeck.
© Una Fritz 1997
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