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Author's Notes: 'Redemption' is the second part of the cliff-hanger 'Tell Our Moms ...' as I imagined it. The first version was written shortly after the last ep of 'S:AAB' was broadcast on 22nd September, 1996 on VOX Television Germany. My warmest thanks and lots of hugs to Lale, my 'Turkish tulip', who told me to stop mopping about the ending of 'S:AAB' and just DO IT! And also many 'thank yous' to my beta-reader and brother in spirit Dylan Humphries. Comments are always welcome at USMCSpace@gmx.net PG13-rated for language and war-time violence
Prologue
"Hey, I'm a hot pilot. Best there's on this ship," Nathan said matter of factly. "After ..."
"Me!" Shane cut in.
"McQueen!" Nathan replied and grinned.
The rest of the Wild Cards shook their heads about this idle chatter and Cooper snorted.
"Who wanna know, anyway," he murmured and looked up from his comic.
"Coop, don't sulk!" Vanessa said and went over to him. "Anybody knows that you're the best shot around here ..."
"Yeah, the living nightmare of all Chigs!" Paul said and turned towards Nathan.
Suddenly, something changed. Vanessa, Shane and Paul went over to the door and before leaving the Wild Cards' quarters, they raised their hands in silent salute.
"Semper Fidelis. Forever faithful, my friend!"
Chapter One
Autumm 2064
Nathan West woke up with a start and was confused at first when he found himself lying on Paul Wang's bunk. Over the passed week he had found himself again and again lying on one of his dead crew-mates' beds. Nathan closed his eyes and with utmost strength he suppressed the tears. Beside him, on Shane Vansen's bed, Cooper Hawkes stirred in his restless sleep. Nathan lay back again and closed his eyes.
Had it only been a week ago that all of the five-eight had set out to rescue the remaining settlers of the Tellus colony? he asked himself. And now only two of the five Marines were still alive.
West's encounter with his love Kylen Celina back on the flightdeck had left a bitter taste in his mouth for he knew that her rescue had been paid with too high a price.
The young Marine turned his head and stared straight into Cooper's blue-grey eyes.
He is as lonely as I am, Nathan told himself silently. For the first time in almost two years there was absolute silence in the bunk room of the Cards' quarters and it was a constant reminder what had happened the week before.
"It's so silent around here," Hawkes said, voicing Nathan's own thoughts aloud and he buried his face into Shane's pillow, taking in her scent.
He still had to come to terms with the fact that his friend and CO was gone. When he had first joined the Marine Corps he had felt like hell, but after a while Shane had made him feel comfortable around the other natural born humans and they had become friends. Shane even becoming something like a mother to him - the only mother he would ever have. The young IV felt a deep pain in his heart as he remembered something Shane had asked him a long time ago.
Did you ever lose someone close to you? she had asked him on the transportation to their first mission on Mars. Back then he had not answered her for he had not known what she had meant. But now he knew and he wished he had never been able to learn from experience. He felt alone and abandoned and he wished nothing more than that the door would open and Shane Vansen, Vanessa Damphousse and Paul Wang would enter and chide them for sleeping in late.
The young Marine sighed and sat up in bed. When he heard Nathan stirring beside him on the other side of the small corridor, he looked up and they both exchanged a long look.
The two Marines stood up and slowly, they changed into the standard USMC uniform to face the Commodore. They knew that they would be court-martialled soon. Giving away compartmentalised information about the final attack of the Allied Forces to an Alien on Anvil, planet 2063-Y, was not considered well by Fleet-Command to say the least and the JAG officer who had interrogated them over the passed three days had made it unmistakably clear that they could end up in the brigs.
West inhaled deeply and stared at the contents of his locker. Over the passed one and a half years the Marine Corps had become his family.
Family? he asked bitterly. This family of his had been demanding; always taking from him what he was willing to give ... and more. Nathan closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the locker door. He was sick of giving more away from him than he had thought was possible. First the Corps had taken away his brother Neil and now Shane and the others. The Corps would surely take away the rest of what had been left of him as well: his stripes as a Lieutenant and discharge him dishonourably. He couldn't stand it any more.
Nathan looked over to Hawkes who sent his lockerdoor shut with a loud thud. Watching the young man, Nathan was sure that he could not fathom the meaning of being court-martialled.
What am I thinking? Nathan asked himself silently. He is a Marine for crying out loud. He had been through the drags already when he had been sentenced by some judge who had thought it funny to sentence a tank to do time in the Corps. Nathan fought the sudden urge to laugh out loud bitterly.
He had seen Hawkes in combat, killing mercilessly and yet Nathan knew that Cooper was still a seven year old child in a twenty-five year old body. And watching his friend he wondered for the umpteenth time how Cooper could bear all this. The last time he had seen Cooper in such a shocked and desperate state was shortly after his flirtation with the green meanies. Back in detox he had watched his friend as Coop had given up hope. The same look was on the young Marine's face now and Nathan feared that Cooper would do something stupid, like getting himself killed while trying to look for 'Phousse and Vansen. Shaking his head, he followed Hawkes to the O-room.
Cdre. Ross was already waiting for them and as they came to a halt in front of their CO, Ross dismissed their salute with a nod. The Commodore leant against the desk and stared at a point between his crossed ankles and both Marines shifted their weights uneasily from one foot to the other.
"Sir?" Nathan inquired, a shiver of anticipation and dread running down his spine.
"Five-eight..., " Ross hesitated for a moment, then commenced: "Lieutenants, Fleet-Com has contacted me. Your charges have been dropped and they have granted you ten weeks R&R ..." Cooper shot Nathan a quizzical glance.
"Sir, I don't understand. What we did back on Anvil ..." Cooper began.
"What did or did not happen on 2063-Yankee is none of your business, Marine! The whole mission has been compartmentalised. It never happened, UNDERSTOOD?" he asked angrily and brought his face close to Cooper's. But Hawkes was not silenced by this. He shook his head like a stubborn child.
"To hell with Fleet-Com. We've friends down there. At least give us the chance to look for them ..." he started again but one look into the Commodore's eyes made him hesitate and he swallowed hard.
"You will not, I repeat, WILL NOT be assigned to the SAR team ...", Ross cut in sharply, directing his gaze to Nathan as well. "You will report back on the Saratoga to meet your new wingmen on 4th December!"
"Sir, yes, Sir," both Marines answered in unison, but it was clear they were highly confused.
Ross closed his eyes for a moment, rubbing his finger across the bridge of his nose.
He knew he should tell them that Fleet-Com had already sent out SAR teams to look for Vansen and Damphousse but telling them would surely mean they would go AWOL and look for their crew-mates themselves. But there was another reason he wanted them as far away as possible from the 'Toga and planet Anvil. When he had heard about the dropping of charges against the Marines he had been relieved, after all he had pulled all the strings possible to get them off the hook but then he had heard about the rumours which had spread aboard his ship and there were some people who wanted the hide of those two for screwing up 'Operation Roundhammer'.
After that bit of information he had even contacted his friend Chambers back on Earth and he, too, had done everything possible to help his Marines. An hour ago he had received an urgent email from Major General Chambers. It had simply said that the 'chicks were off the hook'. Chambers and his cryptic messages, he had thought but the postscript had surprised him even more. 'Return them to their mother hen'. He had had not any contact with McQueen, for what, five days now. He had heard that he was due to have surgery and he didn't know what he and Chambers were up to. But he would know eventually, either McQueen or Chambers would contact him as soon as they knew that the remaining 'Cards were safely on their way.
"That's settled then. Your ride, the USS Dakota, leaves in forty mikes. Dismissed!"
After Cdr. Ross had left the o-room, the young Marines exchanged a quizzical look with each other.
"Why ... didn't he reprimand us?" Cooper asked and shook his head.
Although he had not been fully able to understand what they had done wrong on Anvil by telling the Alien that Operation Roundhammer was already under way, he had known that they all had retaliation to fear. And yet if the resulting peace-talks had been a success, their skipchatter would have been looked upon as a good deed. The young tank rubbed his temples wearily as if he wanted to force that bit of information into his brain.
Nathan was as shocked as Coop. He should have felt relieved and yet he had the uncanny feeling that something was behind the whole compartmentalisation of mission 'Homeward Bound'. From experience he knew that Fleet-Command had little to say in this war. Mega-Space-Organisations like AeroTech were behind most of the schemes and they seemed to know more than they let on.
"I don't know about you, Coop, but I have a bad feeling about this!" Nathan commented matter of factly.
On their back to their quarters, Cooper's shock had worn away and he was growing angrier every minute.
"They wanna substitute Wang, Damphousse and Vansen just like that?" Cooper asked and shook his head. "They can't do that, I mean not 'til we really know for sure they're... dead ..." His fist crashed into the metal wall of the corridor.
"The spooks didn't pick up any SOS signals from Shane and Vanessa," Nathan replied, dragging Cooper along. He desperately wanted to believe that at least Shane and Vanessa were still alive and secretly, he was determined to look for them. But as it was right now, both Hawkes and he himself had to keep a low profile.
The young Marine closed his eyes, trying to force back the memories. Back in the cockpit of the ISSCV, he had watched in horror as Wang's ISSCV-shuttle had been destroyed by the Chigs but the disabled safety cockpit of Vansen's vehicle had entered the stratosphere of planet Anvil. There had not been an explosion, only Vansen's voice trailing away as the com-channel was interrupted.
Semper Fidelis, always faithful, my friend, she had said and Nathan had felt as if something deep inside of him had been torn apart.
"Come on, Coop, let's pack..." Nathan said wearily and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. Cooper followed his friend back to their quarters and when they entered it, they encountered a Sergeant who had been busy taking away the personal belongings of their dead comrades.
"Keep ya dirty hands away from 'em," Cooper shouted angrily as the Sergeant tried to rip off the photographs above Shane's bunk. The young officer stepped quickly away from Cooper's menacing figure and nodded his head.
"Sir, yes, ...Sir," he stammered. "I was asked to return the personal effects to... to their families..., Sir."
"We'll take care of them!" Nathan said as he dismissed the Sergeant with a nod of his head. After the Sergeant had scurried out of the room, Nathan stepped closer to Wang's bed and looked at the pictures his friend had put onto the wall above his pillow. He smiled when he scrutinised a photograph showing Paul in a Chicago Bears-outfit. Cooper came up to his side. He had picked up the plastic bags the Sergeant had left behind.
"Do ya want to hand 'em over to their families?" he inquired slowly.
"Yeah," Nathan answered, turning towards him. "We'll do it together and afterwards we'll visit my family..."
"Nathan..." Cooper began. "I dunno that's such a good idea. I mean, I'm not sure that your family wanna see me ..."
"Where'd you want to go, Coop? There's nothing you can return to." Nathan asked angrily, echoing the very words McQueen had told them before their last mission.
Vanessa had fantasised about a civilian life, what she would do as soon as she had returned to Earth. Back then they all had given in to the luxury of imagining their lives after the war. Only Cooper unsure about his future. When McQueen had said that as a tank he had nothing to return to, Nathan had realised for the first time that Cooper would be alone once the Wild Cards were discharged.
He shook his head slowly, then grinned sheepishly.
"Please, accompany me to my parents' place. I don't know how to face them after what has happened to Neil ..."
After Cooper and Nathan had packed their duffels, they left for the flightdeck. West was appalled to see that the flightdeck did not show any signs of the terrible things which had happened there.
Only hours ago he had said good-bye to his girl-friend Kylen Celina here. He had felt relieved to see her. To hold her in his arms once again. But their meeting had not put his doubts at rest. Still he saw the clone on Kazbek who had had almost enticed him to leave his friends alone.
Would he ever be able to look at Kylen and see 'her' instead of the clone he had killed? Nathan closed his eyes for a moment, trying to push away the thought. But try as he might other images overwhelmed him. Images about McQueen as he was rushed off to an emergency unit on board of an ISSCV.
Their commanding officer had been attending the peace talks when a bomb had exploded, killing several high-ranking officers including the Alien representative and therefore shattering all hopes for a peace treaty. McQueen had been severely wounded and for all they knew, he would be discharged from active service once he had recovered.
If he recovered, West thought. From what he had been able to detect inmidst of all the bloodstained bandages the Colonel was likely to loose his leg and be immobilised for the rest of his days. Watching the techies and occasional MP-guard scurrying over the deck, he still could see the commotion, the bloodstained bodies of the dead officers put into the coffins to be transported back to Earth.
They were scheduled to leave for Earth on the USS Dakota in twenty mikes and when their ride was announced, they shouldered their packs. Other Marines had been granted leave as well and their happy skipchatter was filling the small transporter shuttle. Cooper and Nathan did not join their antics, separating themselves from the others as they took up lodgings on the Dakota after lift-off.
During their journey back to Earth, they talked little and both men were deeply absorbed in their own thoughts. Keeping separated from the others, only mingling with the crew-men when they went to the mess. If they went.
Nathan was worried about Cooper. The big IV had retreated to some place in his mind where his friend was not able to reach him. Watching Hawkes as he lay on his bunk motionless, Nathan thought about the last time he had seen his friend like this. Shortly after he had been released from detox Cooper had kept to himself and only with the joint effort of all 'Cards he had snapped out of his self-imposed guilt-trip. Back then, he had thought that nothing could harm Cooper's equilibrium but his drug addiction had changed him.
Oh, he had been his old self again but some of his childlike naivety had been lost. West closed his eyes, shutting out the image of Cooper lying on the bunk across him. All he could do was wait and just be there if his friend needed him.
Cooper stared out of the port above his bunk. Staring at the stars blinking in the deep darkness of space, he tried to put some sense into all the things which had happened. In times of confusion he had always been able to turn to Shane for advice.
Shane ...
Closing his eyes, a vivid image of his CO rose before his mind's eye.
There had been a time when he had been infatuated by her. It was during their first mission as a Marine Corps squadron that he had tried to kiss her, infuriating her so much that she had slapped him. Back then he had been angry, assuming that she hated tanks but over the passed months he had realised that her reaction had had nothing to do with him being an In-Vitro but that he had just overstepped himself.
When had his feelings for her changed? he asked himself. For all he knew from his accumulated sensations over the last seven years, he knew that he had felt something like ... what? Love? for her.
No, that wasn't the right word, was it? He had wanted to be close to her for sure but over the months this feeling had turned considerably. With her ability to make everyone relax in her company, she had taught him the way of humans. Shane had become his mother, well sort of anyway. The closest he would get to having a mother. And the rest of the Wild Cards had become his family as well.
Nathan, Mr. Hotshot as he had called him during their HIST, had become as close to him as a brother. From him he had learned what it meant to be family despite the occasional quarrel. 'Phousse, with her laughter and no-nonsense talk, had taken a place in his heart, too. She had been the little sister he had never had. And Wang?
He had always thought that the Wanger had been the luckiest of all of them. Always ready to make fun of everything and everyone, Paul had shown him that there was more to life than duty and obedience which had been forced into him by the monitors. Sometimes he had not understood what had made Wang tick besides his love for sports but when he had seen his heartbreak over his lost innocence and willpower back on Kazbek, he had for once understood what the Marine had felt. Self-hatred and disgust were some feelings he had come to know quite intimately since his birth in a gestation tank back in Philly.
And thinking about the gestation facility brought his thoughts back to McQueen. Ever since he had met the 'Angriest Angel', he had seen in him the father he had never had. Over the last eighteen months since he had been forced to join the Corps McQueen had become his role-model.
Thinking of his CO he fingered the ID-tag around his neck unconsciously. Beside the usual dogtag and PLB there was another gadget attached to it. He picked it up and stared at it for long moments.
He turned his head back to the port again and inhaling deeply, he tried to force back the tears which gagged his throat.
He closed his palm around the RAF Corps signet ring. Holding it in his hand, he could almost feel the presence of McQueen and his godchild Flight Lieutenant Megan Chambers. Squinting his eyes to be able to read the words on top of the ring, he had to smile despite himself.
FLY WITH THE BEST; DIE LIKE THE REST!
That were McQueen and Chambers alright.
Chambers had been part of the UFEP, a United Forces Exchange Programme, and she and her squad had been assigned to the five-eight a couple of months back. After the 'Cards had found out that she was McQueen's godchild, Cooper had almost screwed the whole thing when he had kissed her one evening on the deserted flightdeck, flirting with disaster.
Oh man, was he kiddin' himself or what? They had taken off like a house on fire, using Shane's words. Just like Shane, Meg had touched something inside of him and he had felt immediately drawn to her. Especially after he had discovered that her father was a tank like himself and that McQueen was her uncle. But had that been the only reason? He sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. She had treated him like a normal human being. Back then he had wanted nothing more than being with Meg and after she had left, her image still fresh in his memory, they had written long letters to each other.
When had he stopped writing to her? He asked himself. Of course, he knew. He had stopped writing when he had been addicted to the green meanies. He wasn't proud of that and when finally the knowledge had broken through the constant haze he had been in back in detox, disgust and self-hatred had prevented him from even thinking of Meg. He had felt dirty and ashamed after that.
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