Redhead's Stuttering, Desperate Monologue

fate brought us together so many times before

so it is hardly suspicious to haphazardly meet you here

and yet, fate has ripped us into a thousand pieces

so i make haste,

not knowing if i will have the breath to speak again

i fear choking

well, lover, we have ridden a storm, black as night

skeletons screamed and clawed from black waters

but we lived it up, held on, watched it pass us with a winking glance

i almost recall us laughing in the face of the reaper,

whose dark form was intimidating, but manageable

we didn't resist, and didn't we make it?

pause, and let it sink in, i plead

believe it

aren't i still here, looking into your eyes,

trying to scrutinize you and hoping you can't deny,

mumbling a thousand prayers, biting my lip,

shrinking back from rejection, my stinging red welt,

yet lustful enough to let myself scar a few times?

when black stallions trampled down our roots,

hooves crashing down and ripping us to shreds,

didn't we ride them, too?

when the sun dried us into flakes and we crumbled,

becoming nothing more than meaningless sand grains,

didn't we fall on the same soil?

the universe burned us and ate us alive,

but we went together

and somehow, that was enough for me

i can't explain

forgive me, i don't make much sense

it's hard to cough out all that i want to say

and i'm trying to be quick,

because it looks like you might run away,

like a skittish horse with a lightning streak across his face

deities above, i plea that you restore us,

even if it will perhaps destroy us

and i will ask nothing more

for the risk is present, as always,

and all things are conquerable

flaring orange tigers lie in wait to tackle the walls of stone

but wait, i have not finished

spare me that pained, familiar look in your blue eyes

do you think i would speak to you to only reminisce?

this is the old church revival of yore

i find myself at the pulpit, a saintly preacher,

slamming down my fist, spelling out the law,

as forceful as the cocked gun, or penetrating glare,

praising the lord, knowing that the kingdom is now

for god's sake, lover, it's now

we're now

let that flourish like wildflowers, wildfires

a worldly sacrifice indeed

i'm tossing it all away, letting the drain suck it up thirstily

i'll run naked, homeless, starving, but nonetheless, still alive

clothed, housed, fed by your skin

you need do nothing but stand there and let me hold you

so i might relish the beauty of the sensation of touch,

the beauty of unity, oneness,

the completeness of feeling useful and loved,

that's all i need

the word's upon you

too much to bear, is it?

don't be afraid to love me, though i'm scared too

i don't bite

i suppose it's overwhelming to know i'll fall with you

but i'm coming down, unstoppable

try to charm me out of this one

smoothly following with red ribbons outstretched,

a magnet to you, i am drawn

run far, run hard, and i am behind you,

attempting to be the savior for you,

as you were for me so many times

i am still clinging to a pale, still, pulse-less wrist

i refill your veins will all of your secrets,

which i know better than i know my own

you are my obsession, my idol

my torment and self-crucifixion

bleeding me out

it's reciprocal

you feed, i feed

and we both, somehow, end up filled

the chalices overflow

shouldn't it be like that?

i can't say that i'm perfect,

so much falls short and i fumble on the last down,

losing all control, finding myself surprisingly weak

but i'd like to try and pull through for you

chance it, please

i ask of you with all of myself

could you let yourself?

it is so hard to unleash yourself, i know,

the shackles are familiar, at least,

while i am uncharted, weird, alien territory,

my terrain frightening

let's adventure, ride it together

please, let us be something

i beg you in this stuttering, desperate monologue,

would you, could you,

find a place in the whirlwind of your black hole for us?