Last Piece of the Last Puzzle

i'm confronted, helpless, gasping for oxygen

i'm scrambling to get out of the cage,

hands sliding up to nowhere, gripping air

hearing the wretched sound of nails scratching,

terror on my breath, lips, in my shattered irises

it's still a dead end with a rugged cliff

my eyes fall down it,

shrieking as they collide with rusty earth

you're shaking the bars

mercilessly tearing up everything i crystallized,

forcing your way into the turtle shell,

your face glinting with a hurt expression,

not comprehending what i've done

you weren't supposed to

you surprised me

the aftershock leaves a tingle

it's drawing us away

farewell

there's only so much room inside my globe

a space for you, but not me, too

so i leave you with this vague shadow of myself,

a haunting that cannot fill the shoes

that's all that fits in my single box

i know you're trying to crack it

you remember so much shared,

how much we loved, how it rushed,

a million golden coins overflowing

like waterfalls lit by radiant neon lights,

i can see the treasure in your hands, glimmering,

passing over elegant fingers

capture it, coddle it like a little child

that sensation is all that's left for us

i'm sorry

remember me as i am now

we're parting ways

your eyes are like niagara falls

i cannot take the plunge

i'm breathless

if i never see you again,

i love you

wincing, i sting, laced in wounds

i'm walking away, feeling tired eyes on my back,

the sound of fingertips swiping at me rings silver chimes

i'm hearing you fall and keep falling,

listening to your hair brush into your face and eyes

but you never hit ground

and the puddles of your sobs drip down my neck,

making black burn marks that rub away self-control

i can't comprehend it

lost, i whirl, and you're sprawled on the marble

that's how it can't be

and that's how it is

i must stay back

this is what i swore to do

i am a statue

cold, hard, unmoving, lips frozen purple

with the words caught in my throat

i'm sorry

for the both of us

the choices vanish, leaving me speechless

confused, i wonder how i ended up so small,

so pitiful, so clumsy, so heartless

i'm left with the option of killing or killing

would i let the world break you open

like a coconut shell, splattering your juices?

or should allow you to perish at my own paralyzed hands?

i threaten you with my presence and my absence

something snapping whether i leave you or stay

it's a wicked snare

either way, you're doomed, like me

i'm dizzy and sick at the notion

now i see why we belong

yes, you're a goddess,

exhaling life into me, waking me from a drugged slumber

with cautious hands, we drag ourselves to our feet

it's my fault we fell in the first place

whispering hesitantly in your ear,

my breath catches and my heart beat quickens,

for i suddenly feel fuller than ever before in my brief life,

as if the last piece of the last puzzle has clicked into place

something surrenders – perhaps my control? -

and, in an instant, ecstasy takes me over

everything else vanishes

i am possessed by you, holding you

we melt together,

becoming a twisted puddle, formless

i'm lost in your essence

and i don't want to find myself again