YESTERDAY'S ASHES

Disclaimer: Bet you guys already know what I'm going to say. So come up with something creative and pretend that I wrote that as my disclaimer, 'kay? In case you can't tell, I've temporarily exhausted my creative juices when it comes to writing disclaimers so…. Ü

CHAPTER 3

'The greatest tragedy of all time,

Is to have your love standing in front of you,

And knowing that you can't reach out to him'

Anon.

(Actually, found vandalized on a desk I was using in school. Ü)

Kurenai's POV

He tells me… that I was once someone very special to him. Someone he never wished to be separated from.

How can it be so? He is… who is he to me?

I don't remember.

I can't remember.

Why does he seem so familiar? Every time I look at him, into his eyes, I feel a sense of peace. I feel as though I can trust him, and something else. I feel as though… he was once part of me, and that he was more than just a friend.

Impossible.

But then again, it could be probable.

He could understand how I felt without me voicing my feelings. How come he knows me so well? He even knew what was carved on the back of my pendent; I didn't even know that it had a name carved on it. Is it just coincidence that the name there was… his?

Kurei…

That name, and face. So familiar, yet so alien.

Who are you? Why have you come? Was it, for me?

Who are you… to me?

I want to know. I need to know.

Someone, help me… please… I need an answer…

Kurei's POV

She seems so… confused.

I want to help her, touch her. I want to know that I'm not dreaming and that she is real. Yet, I'm afraid that if I do so, she'll vanish before my eyes again, like she has so many times before in my dreams.

It's impossible, that a dead person should live again. But this is one wish that I hope is reality.

If I'm dreaming, please don't wake me up.

Not now, not ever. I just want to live on like this, knowing that she is real and that she is here with me.

The old lady told me that Kurenai needed time to make up her mind. I don't know what she needs to decide, but if it's time that she needs, I'm willing to give her all the time in the world. I've waited 5 years for this moment; no matter how long it takes, I will wait until she has made her choice.

Please Kurenai, come back to me. I need you, more than you could ever know.

Kurenai's POV

Those voices in my head, they're getting louder and louder. I don't know who to listen to. One tells me to believe his words; the other tells me not to be a fool. It is tempting to listen to the latter and just forget the incident, but somehow, I…

I just can't.

I asked the lady who found me how I got to know her. She told me that she found me collapsed on the path at the park one night. She brought me back to her house and took care of me until I got better.

I remember waking up in her house. She asked me for my name and where I was from. I told her that I was Kurenai, and that I was from…

Where was I from?

I don't remember.

I panicked. She told me to relax, but I couldn't. I tried to recall, where I was from, what I was doing in the park on that night, how I even got there in the first place.

Nothing. Everything was blank.

All I knew was that my name was Kurenai. That's all. And just the faintest impression of a person…

A person who was… close, no, dear… to me. A person who was everything to me

But if such a person exists, why can't I remember who this person is? How can I even be sure that this person is not some figment of my imagination?

I don't know, I'm confused.

Kurei… are you telling me the truth about us? Or are you just playing with my feelings?

Kurei's POV

It just occurred to me…

What if I was wrong?

What if she isn't Kurenai? Just another person, with the same name, same smile, same voice, same everything.

It's been a long time since I last called out my flame. Kurenai, my flame angel.

Her spirit is forever entombed in my flame, the Phoenix.

If Kurenai really is alive, she would need her spirit to live, wouldn't she?

Which means that, if she is real, I shouldn't have a flame angel in her form anymore inside of me.

I hold my hand out in front of me, ready to summon her, to coax out my angel…

But I don't dare to.

I want to believe that Kurenai is alive. I don't want to see her in her flame form. I want to know that the person I see before me is truly flesh, not a spirit.

I want to know the truth, but I don't dare to face up to the truth.

What an irony.

If only everything in life was as simple as flipping a coin…

Insane author's notes:

Hm… hope this chapter turned out better than the previous one. As I said before, it's easier for me to imagine myself into the character's shoes, then write a POV, rather than doing everything in 3rd person… oh well.

Anyway, this story should be finished in about 2 more chapters. Don't worry if I disappear for a prolonged period of time, I'll definitely finish writing this, then I can say for once that I actually managed to finish my own multi-part story. Ü It's not my fault that the spastic education system here is trying to drown us in facts, of which about 75% will probably never apply to me.

A big fat THANK YOU, especially to bishounen lovah, who has reviewed every single chapter of my fic. You make me really happy every time I see your name and your review! Ü *streamers and balloons* Thanks also to Star of Recca for offering to scan in some images for me, but I guess it won't be necessary, since this fic should be ending soon… plus, I can always go pester my friend for the manga. Ü And to all you pple out there, if you want me to post faster, then review more! Cos the rest of the chapters are sitting in my computer waiting to be posted. And I plan not to post them until I get at least 3 reviews for this chapter and subsequent chapters, or until 1 month has passed between each one. So… you guys know what to do right? Please R & R, I get really sad when no one else reviews, and then my classmates suffer, 'cos I just sit there and wail every morning. And make a lot of noise about nothing. *grinz*

Thanks for reading!