A/N: I fixed chapter 5. It was pretty heinous. To my defense, it was late and I was tired:)
Jessie and Katie talked the whole time back to Jessie's house. Katie was relieved to see Jessie less stressed out than before. Earlier this morning, Katie though Jessie looked like she was about to have a stroke or something.
"So, Jess, how are things going?" Katie asked, the conversation turning serious.
Jessie was caught off guard by the question. She really didn't want to lie, but she didn't want to start crying then and there either. "Fine, I guess," she answered, a suspicious edge in her voice.
"Are you sure?" She caught the frightened look in Jessie's eyes. "I mean, you looked like you were about to have a heart attack this morning. And when you fainted...I don't know," Katie held a thoughtful expression while looking at Jessie.
"Oh, that," she was still very tense. "I...um. I wasn't feeling good this morning," she was technically telling the truth.
"Oh," that still wasn't the answer that Katie was expecting. She knew there was something deeper going on. "Is everything okay? I mean, you always seem so, melancholy."
"You just met me," Jessie replied, not snippy or angry, just surprised. "I mean, for all you know, it is just how I am all the time," she tried to convince herself almost as much as her friend. Katie saw right through it and Jessie knew it. She slumped down in the seat, looking out the window. "Alright. You got me," Jessie relented.
"And?" Katie pushed.
"My mom," Jessie said, still not turning from the window. "She...um," she paused, choking back a sob. "She tried to...she wanted...there was an accident." Jessie felt like she didn't know what was real anymore. Was it a suicide attempt? Or was it an accident? She didn't know anymore. I used to be so sure.
"Oh," Katie said. She didn't know how to react or what to say. "What happened? Will she be okay?" Katie asked slowly.
"She was on medication and she...uh...took to much," Jessie was looking down at her hands. She completely missed Katie's shocked expression. "She was in a drug-induced coma for about a day," Jessie looked up, but didn't make eye contact. "She's fine now, she's awake and at home."
Seeing Jessie like this broke Katie's heart. She knew that the overdose was no accident and she was pretty sure Jessie knew it too.
They pulled up to Jessie's house. Katie looked over to see Jessie wipe her eyes and try to regain her composure. "Do you want to come in?" Jessie asked, smiling that sad smile of hers.
"Sure," Katie said, not sure what to expect.
"Mom's still at work," Jessie said, rolling her eyes. They both went up and Jessie unlocked the door. "Do you want something to drink or something?" she asked setting her stuff down by the door.
"No. I'm fine," Katie said, smiling and sitting on the couch. Jessie came in too, sitting next to her. There was a moment of awkwardness that Katie decided to break. "Tad was talking about you today."
Jessie quirked an eyebrow. "Why?" She asked.
"He liiiikes you," Katie dragged out teasingly.
Jessie shoved Katie, "Shut up!" She exclaimed, her face turning crimson.
"We were in English. He kept leaning over, asking me about you," she rolled her eyes at her friend's goofiness. "I told him to leave me alone and bother Grace because the two of you are stepsisters." Jessie had a smirk on her face. "He started pestering her. It was funny. She had such a pissed off look on her face all block," Katie had a reminiscent grin on her face.
"What did she do?" Jessie loved torturing Grace.
"She just sat there, stewing," Katie was still grinning. "She has a crush on Tad. So, this, in fact, crushed her." Her expression turned sympathetic before turning mischievous again. "To make things worse, they star opposite each other in the play. He's Orlando and she's Rosalind. I thought she was going to have an aneurysm in the middle of class. Tad is so dense."
Jessie was loving this. She really wasn't too interested in Tad, but it was fun hearing about Grace squirm. Suddenly, her impish grin went serious. "What did she say about me?"
Katie caught the insecurities mounting in Jessie's voice. "I...um. I'm not sure. I was paying more attention to Grace's expressions than her words."
"Oh God," Jessie knew exactly what Grace would do. She probably told him about my being...my problems. She sighed.
"What is it?" Katie was prying again.
Jessie knew this game, but she didn't want to deal with it. "I don't want to talk about it," she mumbled. This time, Katie didn't push her.
"Hey, look. I have to get going. See you tomorrow?" Jessie nodded and they both smiled. Katie started to walk off, but Jessie stopped her.
"What about your other friend? Sarah?" Jessie asked. "I still haven't even met her."
Katie was caught off guard. Sarah. Oh. Right. Her. "She got cast as Phoebe," Katie flashed a weak smile before leaving. "Bye."
"Bye," Jessie whispered after Katie shut the door.
It was a few hours later before Karen arrived. She came in the door, it was dark in the house, Jessie was upstairs, sulking in her room. Karen stumbled in the door and tripped over Jessie's bag.
"Damn it! Jess!" Karen yelled upstairs. She heard footsteps and saw her daughter at the top of the staircase. "Why is your stuff by the door? I just tripped over it. Don't you know how dangerous that is?" Karen griped as she moved the stuff onto the couch. She hadn't realized how she totally disregarded her daughter's feelings. Since Jessie was still at the top of the stairs, Karen didn't see the tears welling up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Jessie sighed, not moving from where she stood. She could have hurt herself. It would've been my fault.
Karen softened up, she walked toward Jessie, but Jessie moved away. "Oh, honey," she tried in her most soothing tone she could muster up. Still Jessie moved away. She then turned and went into her room before her mom could see the tears. Karen decided it best to give Jessie some time to herself.
Jessie went back into her room and turned off the light. She let her fingers linger on the light switch before walking over to her bed. She dove onto the bed and buried her head under a pillow before she started crying. Even though she was crying, she still didn't let herself go completely. She was still holding back, restraining her feelings. Stop it! Stop! Why are you crying? She was mentally berating herself. Jessie forced herself to stop crying and she just sat there, staring at the wall and choking down sobs.
Jessie's alarm went off. However, she didn't fling her arm at it to stop it's piercing ring. She slowly reached over to flip it off. Unable to sleep, Jessie remained awake the whole night. She was still staring at the wall when the alarm had gone off. Her delayed reaction was due to Jessie's not recognizing sound. Not the sound, but sound in general.
The silence had consumed her. It wasn't quiet or peaceful, but loud and deafening. Her silence was loud and it consumed her. She was surrounded by quiet, it made the airtight and she found herself feeling claustrophobic. So, the alarm seemed to not even be making a sound, the ringing was drowned out by the sound of emptiness.
Jessie managed to get dressed, almost as if in a stupor. She slumped downstairs, Karen was getting ready to leave. "Morning Jess," Karen said. "Your father called and your going to Lily's after therapy." Desperately, Jessie wanted to argue this point, but she just didn't have the energy. She just nodded. "Eli is picking you and Grace up from school and taking you." Still, Karen hadn't noticed how crappy Jessie looked. "I'll see you later." She kissed Jessie on the forehead before taking off.
"Hey Jess," Katie said as she cautiously approached her friend. She and Tad had talked about what Grace had told him the day before. Katie wasn't sure if Grace was being honest or not, but she didn't want to take any chances.
"Hey," Jessie replied indifferently. She didn't greet Katie with the usual smile, or fainting, whatever the case may be.
"Want me to give you a ride home today?" Katie asked, hoping to get some sort of emotion from Jessie. Nothing.
"Can't. Brother's picking me up. I have therapy after school," she said without thinking. She caught her slip, but she just didn't care. Katie stopped in her tracks, but Jessie kept going. She ran to catch up.
"Therapy?" She thought maybe she had hallucinated or something.
"Yeah," Jessie answered halfheartedly.
Katie actually looked at Jessie for the first time today. "You look like hell," she blurted out before her brain could tell her not to say it.
"Thanks," Jessie deadpanned.
"I'll see you later then?" Katie asked hopefully.
"Yeah, probably tomorrow," she replied.
Jessie sat in the backseat staring disinterestedly out the window. Eli and Grace were in the front seat, not talking either. Neither of them knew what to say, if anything. The whole ride to Rosenfeld's had been like this. Finally, they pulled up. Grace and Eli hopped out right after stopping the engine. However, Jessie got out a little less hastily. The other two shared a worried look as Jessie walked by them.
"So, Jess, how's your mom," the doctor asked while taking a sip of his water.
"She's fine," Jessie answered, detached. She looked out the window. Jessie really didn't want to be here.
"That's good," he answered back. He studied her face a moment. "And how are you?" She turned to him, her expression was unreadable.
"I'm great. Isn't it obvious?"
"Who brought you here today?" He asked. Talking to her isn't getting me anywhere.
"Uh...Grace and Eli," she was perplexed by his question.
Jessie came out of the office and the doctor motioned for Grace and Eli to come over to him. She just shrugged as they cast questioning looks in her direction. It was her turn to wait. However, she was still puzzled at what Rosenfeld wanted with them. Oh well. She closed her eyes and immediately fell asleep.
"What's wrong with Jessie?" The doctor asked instantly asked as he closed the door. The two sat down and looked at one another.
"What?" Eli asked still trying to assess the question.
"What is wrong with her? Has she been acting strangely? She wouldn't tell me anything. I wanted to ask someone who would give me some straight answers," he replied.
"She has been acting...differently lately," Grace answered.
"How so?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked, sitting back down.
"Well, she has been, I don't know. More aggressive," Eli cut in. "She almost broke Grace's nose and she attacked me earlier this week," he paused, trying to think.
"Also, she had been really hostile toward, well...everyone," Grace continued.
Rosenfeld was really getting interested. "What about Karen?" He asked them.
Eli got his bitter expression back on. "It's her fault," he snipped.
"Eli!" Grace exclaimed. "Stop saying that."
"You know it's the truth," he said. Grace shut her mouth, he was right. He turned back to the doctor. "Jessie found Mom. Now she refuses to leave her side because she thinks Mom's suicide attempt was her fault," Eli huffed. "Jessie has been depressed for a really long time." Rosenfeld quirked an eyebrow. "Since she heard our parents were divorcing, nine years ago. Now she blames herself for this."
"Now both Karen and Jessie are depressed," Grace noted sadly.
"It's hereditary," Rosenfeld stated matter-of-factly. "It's also most common in mother-child relationships. Women are more susceptible to it," he explained.
"Why?" Grace wondered. Eli just sat there, listening.
"They are more sensitive. They also have to face more standards put upon them by society," he said, remembering the words from his college text.
"I think Jessie's already proven that to be true," Eli said, referring to her anorexia.
"Well, at least now I know a better angle to approach this by," he said, thoughtfully. "Thanks you two. You really have helped me out a lot," he smiled. Grace and Eli stood up to leave.
Grace turned before opening the door. "Is Jessie going to be all right?" She asked.
"I hope so," was all that Rosenfeld could say.
"You ready to go?" Eli asked Jessie, she just nodded and got up sleepily.
"I hope so," the doctor repeated quietly to himself before closing the door.
