Author's Note: Hi-deee Ho. I'm back. And I feel sick. No really, I do.
Damn allergies. Okay, so if you like this section, I'll keep working on
this little piece of- …Never mind. In all seriousness, thanks for the
support. I'm having fun, despite my lack of the ability to smell. I think
I'll go hack up some mucus now. Yum.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"I know what I'll do! I'll kill myself! Yes. Why didn't I see that before? If I'm dead, I'll have to meet with either him or God again. And then they can turn me back!" Nny exclaimed, laughing hysterically at the simplicity of it all.
* I don't see why this strikes you as such a big change. It's not like you ever did act in a way that made it matter what gender you were. How, for you I mean, does it make a difference that you are a female organism? *
"It's just not something I want to get used to. Besides, I'm not going to sit back and have the Devil laugh at me. I was not born this way, and I don't think I should have to live this way if I don't want to. It's not the change itself, but the idea behind it. I should clear things up while it's fresh," she replied calmly, reaching for a sharp fine knife. 'This shouldn't be so hard… I'm used to this now! Just die… I know where I'm going.' But the hard part was getting there. She sat down, knife in hand.
(Author's Note: People, please understand. Suicide is baaaaaad. It hurts you and stuff. Please, think of the children.)
She looked down at the vein in her wrist. 'Just do it! Then you can get your body back!' As often as Nny had thought about it in the passed, it never happened. She always beat around the bush somehow. Biting her lower lip, she brought her shaky hand holding the blade down on the other wrist. Slowly, she sawed to cut through it. She opened her eyes to see that there was not even a scratch there. "Huh?!" Holding up her wrist with more confidence, she slammed the blade into it for a mere spilt second, before it split in two. "What the hell?" Once again, not a scratch. And her favorite knife was in two pieces. "This is freakin' creepy!" Nny exclaimed as she attempted to poke the tip of the blade through her stomach. "I no die!"
She raced downstairs and grabbed her gun in a moment of excitement. There was something strangely exciting about not being able to die. She pointed it straight in her ear and pulled the trigger. BLAM! The bullet bounced off the side of her head and clinked on the ground. "Now that's just freaking weird!"
* Nny, I advise you to stop invoking harm on yourself. * Meat suggested.
She ignored him. "That's odd that nothing I try to do seems to work, but there's got to be something that this-"
* Nny? Are you listening to me? *
"-body of mine. Maybe I just haven't been thinking hard enough, or big enough and-"
* NNY!!! *
"I got it! I'll swallow a grenade!"
* You idiot… *
"Hmm… Right, sticks of dynamite would be easier…"
* You're insane, Johnny. *
"EEEEEEEEEE HEEEE HEEE!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
* KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! *
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
A few days have passed. Reverend Meat sat on a shelf waiting for Johnny to wake up. She had shut all the doors in Meat's path out of embarrassment. She had given up on suicide after nearly destroying the house. For the first time in a while, she decided to simply lie down and sleep. She probably hoped she would suddenly wake up with a dick or something. Not that it should have mattered. Nny never used it anyway. Meat couldn't help but notice that Nny was forcing herself to adjust to the changes, but Meat also knew that there would be more for her to deal with in the future. Suddenly, from the locked off room came a loud thumping and a shriek.
"Oh… My… GOD!!! Why… is there BLOOD ON THE SHEETS?!"
* Ah yes, I expect today will be another interesting one. Oooooh Nny, come out, come out! You can't stay in there forever! *
After prolonged moments of silence, Nny emerged. "Um… Jeezus, I can't believe I'm asking this… what do I do now?"
* One word, Nny. 'Tampons.' *
"…Tampons?"
* Yes. 'Tampons.' *
There was another long moment of silence. Nny cocked her head. "Oookay. I don't like this. I really don't. Well, I'll be back. Got to get me those… things…"
Meat waited, chuckling at the thought of Nny in a flowery dress with a pretty pink bow on it. That would be a sight to see. Only minutes later, Nny burst through the door with a box of LEAKS-A-LOT hidden under her coat. She stopped to shoot the giggling statue a death glare, then proceeded into the other room. Meat had listen to Nny shriek, groan, and whine for at least a full ten minutes before he could figure out how to use the damned things.
"WHAT?! You put them WHERE?!!!" But, like every other crisis she had to face, she managed to overcome it. She slammed the door open.
"So much for your stupid little game, huh Mr. Satan?! You thought you'd make me even crazier, didn't you?! I'll show you! I can live however you want me to!" Nny suddenly wondered if that was a bad thing to say. 'What next? Unicellular organisms? Jocks?!'
She wanted to write in her Die-ary, but really didn't feel like having to explain to herself what had happened. Instead, she turned on the TV.
"If you feel like you are another gender trapped in your own body, call this number to see if you qualify to be a guest on Oprah Windy!"
"Screw that!" Nny yelled, clicking to the next channel.
"I was a woman!" Shouted a really creepy looking fat guy.
Turning off the TV, she decided books were more educational anyway. She took out her favorite book from the shelf, and read it as she left the house. One Hundred and Ten ways to Kill Someone with a Lollipop. She rounded the corner, when she accidentally bumped into someone. Falling back a bit, she looked up from her book at the tall figure that stood towering over her.
"Watch it, you clumsy ditz!" He began walking away from her, then mumbling, "air-head girls these days."
Nny looked down at the book, smiling maliciously again. If she was going to get used to these changes, people would just have to learn that name calling was rude. She crept up on the poor man and punched him in back of the head. As he wobbled, dazed, she pulled his hair, making him topple on his back, instantly knocked out cold. Once again, like magic, no one seemed to notice the killer drag her prey back up the hill.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The strange man opened his eyes, a bit groggy. He wasn't quite grasping the fact that he was chained to the wall with heavy metal shackles and nails planted through his feet. "Ugh… Where am I? Oh… OH MY GOOD LORD NO!" he wailed, looking down at his feet.
"Sorry about that, but you won't be up there much longer." Nny stepped out of the shadows in the back of the room.
"Sh-sh-shit! What am I doing here?!" He demanded to know, looking at the gaunt and strange looking girl who sauntered up next to him.
"You weren't nice. I resent that. Okay, so it's going a little over board even for me, but I really could use someone to take my anger out upon. I have so much anger right now."
"W-who are you?"
"I am Johnny, but since you're the only one in here alive, you might as well call me Nny," she said with a smirk.
"Your name is… Johnny?" He cocked an eyebrow.
"Yes," Nny replied bluntly.
"But you're a girl… Johnny's not much of a name for a girl…" he explained in a shaky voice.
"Never thought of that. You're right." Johnny thought a moment about different people she had met and different girls she had encountered. "…How does Tess sound?"
"Better, I guess, but…"
"Yeah, um, thanks for making me aware of that little name issue, but I'm still going to kill you. Please don't make this anymore difficult." She reached from behind her back and revealed an axe. "Now, tell me, what makes you think that I, or all girls for that matter, are airheads?"
"Listen, I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking, really!"
"So what made you do it?"
"Okay, okay. I had just gotten dumped by my girlfriend. You happy?! Jeezus, just go ahead and kill me now." He bowed his head. (Now that's a mood shift, ne?)
"That still doesn't justify your actions. But, I guess killing you wouldn't do much for either of us…" She tapped her foot impatiently, thinking to herself.
"So you'll let me go?" he asked hopefully with a genuine smile.
"No."
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Author's Note: Arg, sorry if this section sucks, but I haven't been in the best of moods. I really need to look at what the hell I'm writing. Oh well. Part Two's done. R/R.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"I know what I'll do! I'll kill myself! Yes. Why didn't I see that before? If I'm dead, I'll have to meet with either him or God again. And then they can turn me back!" Nny exclaimed, laughing hysterically at the simplicity of it all.
* I don't see why this strikes you as such a big change. It's not like you ever did act in a way that made it matter what gender you were. How, for you I mean, does it make a difference that you are a female organism? *
"It's just not something I want to get used to. Besides, I'm not going to sit back and have the Devil laugh at me. I was not born this way, and I don't think I should have to live this way if I don't want to. It's not the change itself, but the idea behind it. I should clear things up while it's fresh," she replied calmly, reaching for a sharp fine knife. 'This shouldn't be so hard… I'm used to this now! Just die… I know where I'm going.' But the hard part was getting there. She sat down, knife in hand.
(Author's Note: People, please understand. Suicide is baaaaaad. It hurts you and stuff. Please, think of the children.)
She looked down at the vein in her wrist. 'Just do it! Then you can get your body back!' As often as Nny had thought about it in the passed, it never happened. She always beat around the bush somehow. Biting her lower lip, she brought her shaky hand holding the blade down on the other wrist. Slowly, she sawed to cut through it. She opened her eyes to see that there was not even a scratch there. "Huh?!" Holding up her wrist with more confidence, she slammed the blade into it for a mere spilt second, before it split in two. "What the hell?" Once again, not a scratch. And her favorite knife was in two pieces. "This is freakin' creepy!" Nny exclaimed as she attempted to poke the tip of the blade through her stomach. "I no die!"
She raced downstairs and grabbed her gun in a moment of excitement. There was something strangely exciting about not being able to die. She pointed it straight in her ear and pulled the trigger. BLAM! The bullet bounced off the side of her head and clinked on the ground. "Now that's just freaking weird!"
* Nny, I advise you to stop invoking harm on yourself. * Meat suggested.
She ignored him. "That's odd that nothing I try to do seems to work, but there's got to be something that this-"
* Nny? Are you listening to me? *
"-body of mine. Maybe I just haven't been thinking hard enough, or big enough and-"
* NNY!!! *
"I got it! I'll swallow a grenade!"
* You idiot… *
"Hmm… Right, sticks of dynamite would be easier…"
* You're insane, Johnny. *
"EEEEEEEEEE HEEEE HEEE!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
* KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! *
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
A few days have passed. Reverend Meat sat on a shelf waiting for Johnny to wake up. She had shut all the doors in Meat's path out of embarrassment. She had given up on suicide after nearly destroying the house. For the first time in a while, she decided to simply lie down and sleep. She probably hoped she would suddenly wake up with a dick or something. Not that it should have mattered. Nny never used it anyway. Meat couldn't help but notice that Nny was forcing herself to adjust to the changes, but Meat also knew that there would be more for her to deal with in the future. Suddenly, from the locked off room came a loud thumping and a shriek.
"Oh… My… GOD!!! Why… is there BLOOD ON THE SHEETS?!"
* Ah yes, I expect today will be another interesting one. Oooooh Nny, come out, come out! You can't stay in there forever! *
After prolonged moments of silence, Nny emerged. "Um… Jeezus, I can't believe I'm asking this… what do I do now?"
* One word, Nny. 'Tampons.' *
"…Tampons?"
* Yes. 'Tampons.' *
There was another long moment of silence. Nny cocked her head. "Oookay. I don't like this. I really don't. Well, I'll be back. Got to get me those… things…"
Meat waited, chuckling at the thought of Nny in a flowery dress with a pretty pink bow on it. That would be a sight to see. Only minutes later, Nny burst through the door with a box of LEAKS-A-LOT hidden under her coat. She stopped to shoot the giggling statue a death glare, then proceeded into the other room. Meat had listen to Nny shriek, groan, and whine for at least a full ten minutes before he could figure out how to use the damned things.
"WHAT?! You put them WHERE?!!!" But, like every other crisis she had to face, she managed to overcome it. She slammed the door open.
"So much for your stupid little game, huh Mr. Satan?! You thought you'd make me even crazier, didn't you?! I'll show you! I can live however you want me to!" Nny suddenly wondered if that was a bad thing to say. 'What next? Unicellular organisms? Jocks?!'
She wanted to write in her Die-ary, but really didn't feel like having to explain to herself what had happened. Instead, she turned on the TV.
"If you feel like you are another gender trapped in your own body, call this number to see if you qualify to be a guest on Oprah Windy!"
"Screw that!" Nny yelled, clicking to the next channel.
"I was a woman!" Shouted a really creepy looking fat guy.
Turning off the TV, she decided books were more educational anyway. She took out her favorite book from the shelf, and read it as she left the house. One Hundred and Ten ways to Kill Someone with a Lollipop. She rounded the corner, when she accidentally bumped into someone. Falling back a bit, she looked up from her book at the tall figure that stood towering over her.
"Watch it, you clumsy ditz!" He began walking away from her, then mumbling, "air-head girls these days."
Nny looked down at the book, smiling maliciously again. If she was going to get used to these changes, people would just have to learn that name calling was rude. She crept up on the poor man and punched him in back of the head. As he wobbled, dazed, she pulled his hair, making him topple on his back, instantly knocked out cold. Once again, like magic, no one seemed to notice the killer drag her prey back up the hill.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The strange man opened his eyes, a bit groggy. He wasn't quite grasping the fact that he was chained to the wall with heavy metal shackles and nails planted through his feet. "Ugh… Where am I? Oh… OH MY GOOD LORD NO!" he wailed, looking down at his feet.
"Sorry about that, but you won't be up there much longer." Nny stepped out of the shadows in the back of the room.
"Sh-sh-shit! What am I doing here?!" He demanded to know, looking at the gaunt and strange looking girl who sauntered up next to him.
"You weren't nice. I resent that. Okay, so it's going a little over board even for me, but I really could use someone to take my anger out upon. I have so much anger right now."
"W-who are you?"
"I am Johnny, but since you're the only one in here alive, you might as well call me Nny," she said with a smirk.
"Your name is… Johnny?" He cocked an eyebrow.
"Yes," Nny replied bluntly.
"But you're a girl… Johnny's not much of a name for a girl…" he explained in a shaky voice.
"Never thought of that. You're right." Johnny thought a moment about different people she had met and different girls she had encountered. "…How does Tess sound?"
"Better, I guess, but…"
"Yeah, um, thanks for making me aware of that little name issue, but I'm still going to kill you. Please don't make this anymore difficult." She reached from behind her back and revealed an axe. "Now, tell me, what makes you think that I, or all girls for that matter, are airheads?"
"Listen, I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking, really!"
"So what made you do it?"
"Okay, okay. I had just gotten dumped by my girlfriend. You happy?! Jeezus, just go ahead and kill me now." He bowed his head. (Now that's a mood shift, ne?)
"That still doesn't justify your actions. But, I guess killing you wouldn't do much for either of us…" She tapped her foot impatiently, thinking to herself.
"So you'll let me go?" he asked hopefully with a genuine smile.
"No."
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Author's Note: Arg, sorry if this section sucks, but I haven't been in the best of moods. I really need to look at what the hell I'm writing. Oh well. Part Two's done. R/R.
