Chapter 5
It was late and Harry had just left Professor Lupin's office. He had gone there to seek his professor's advice on Ginny. Harry didn't know what to do about her anymore. This whole situation was driving him mad. The more he tried to forget about her, the more he found himself actually thinking about her. It was useless. He was in love with her and she didn't return his feelings. He had resigned himself to move on, but he didn't know how, or if it was even possible.
Harry soon found himself in the common room without even realizing how he had got there. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more to be in the his room sleeping. Before he made it to the stairs leading up to his dormitory, however, he caught a splash of red out of the corner of his eye. He knew immediately that it was Ginny. Upon turning to face her, he noticed that she had apparently fallen asleep in one of the large armchairs by the fire. He made his way over to her and sat down next to her. Gently, he tried to shake her awake. "Ginny," he whispered softly several times but she didn't budge. He was about to give up and just carry her to her room when she squinted up at him, struggling to gain consciousness.
Ginny seemed to finally realise that it was Harry disturbing her slumber. "Oh, hi, Harry," she mumbled through a yawn. Harry opened his mouth to tell her to go up to bed when she did something that completely caught him off guard. "I've missed you!" she gasped as she flung her arms around his neck and buried her head in his chest.
"Ginny," he said as he reluctantly tried to push her away and force her to go up to bed.
"No!" she exclaimed as she pressed herself closer to him. "Can't we just stay like this for a bit?"
Harry was now thoroughly confused. He knew she was still asleep and not entirely aware of what she was saying, but she felt so good in his arms and though he knew it was wrong, he found himself unable to let her go. He only hoped she didn't hate him in the morning.
* * * * * * * * *
Harry woke up early the next morning but Ginny was already gone. At first, he found himself wondering why he was in the common room instead of his bed. He groaned as he remembered his late night encounter with Ginny. She was going to hate him now for sure! He mentally cursed himself for not exercising more self control and sending Ginny off to bed. He knew it was the right thing to do but he hadn't been able to help himself.
The sound of someone descending the girls staircase startled Harry from these thoughts. He quickly got up and went to his own dormitory room. On the way up, he vaguely wondered who was getting up so early.
His question was answered when he was almost run over by Ron, who was already dressed. "Oh, good morning, Harry!" Ron didn't seem to notice that Harry was just now coming to bed. "I'm on my way to the library to study with Hermione before breakfast."
"It's six o'clock in the morning! I can't even get you up this early for Quidditch practice. Since when do you study at this hour?" Harry immediately realized that his two best friends probably were going to do more than study and added quickly, before Ron had a chance to respond, "All right then, I'll see you at breakfast." Then he swiftly pushed past Ron before Ron could enquire about Harry himself being up at this hour.
When Harry finally made it down to breakfast a few hours later, he found Ron and Hermione waiting for him even though they had long since finished eating.
"Hi, Harry," Hermione greeted him.
Ron, however didn't speak to Harry, nor was he able to look him in the eye. Instead, he got up and left, mumbling at Hermione that he had some things to do before class and would see her later, pointedly ignoring Harry.
Harry watched Ron's retreating figure for a few seconds then shifted his gaze to Hermione. "What's wrong with him?"
Hermione didn't answer right away. She only gave Harry a very sharp look that told him he was in trouble though he didn't know why.
Finally, she asked, "Did you know that Ginny didn't get to bed until about 5:30 this morning?"
"No," Harry half lied. He really didn't know what time she went to bed since she was gone when he woke up, he rationalized with himself. "How do you know that anyway?" He was curious now.
"Ron and I overheard Ginny's friends talking about it. Ron seems to think it has something to do with you since you didn't make it to bed until early this morning either."
"Oh," sighed Harry guiltily. "Nothing happened, I promise. Please don't ask me anymore questions." He really didn't feel like dealing with this now and was grateful when Hermione agreed though she pointed out that Ron wouldn't be so understanding.
* * * * * * * * * *
Harry didn't see Ginny for the rest of the day. He assumed that they had gone back to avoiding one another so when she approached him in the common room later that night and asked him to go for a walk, he was surprised, to say the least. Ginny led Harry to the top row of the Quidditch stands. The same place, thought Harry, that his dad had blurted out his feelings for his mum. He hoped he wouldn't make the same mistake. He was quite sure it would ruin his friendship with Ginny for good.
Ginny took a seat and motioned for him to sit down beside her. After a few awkward moments of silence, Ginny finally spoke up. "I'm sorry about last night. I'm sure you must have felt trapped."
Harry stared at her for a few moments before looking away. "Trapped is not exactly how I would describe it," Harry said. Besides, didn't she know he wanted to be trapped?
"Well, however you felt, I apologise for my behaviour. I shouldn't have put you in that position."
"It's okay, really," he reassured her.
"Good! Then I'm glad it's all settled," she said with a swift nod to herself.
"It is....all settled." Harry was beginning to wish he were somewhere else, anywhere would do. This was the first real conversation he had had with her in over two months. It was awkward and uncomfortable and not going at all like he'd hoped, though much like he'd expected. He was about to make some excuse to get away when he heard her voice again.
"Why have you been avoiding me, Harry?"
Why? Was she really asking him that? "What do you mean?" He was clearly confused.
" You don't talk to me in the halls or at meals anymore. Every time we're in the same room, you're either on the other side of it or you suddenly remember something you forgot to do. Did I do something wrong?"
He had no response for this. It was true, he had been avoiding her but he was sure she knew why and that she preferred it that way.
"I know you've always thought that I wanted something more from you, but I promise I just want to be your friend."
This made no sense to Harry. Had she forgotten that he had asked her out and she said no? Of course, he knew she only wanted to be his friend. She had made that exceptionally clear.
"Ginny..." he began to protest but realised that he had to agree, even if he wanted so much more. He knew that it was either friends or nothing at all, and he couldn't tolerate nothing at all for much longer. "That's what I want too," he finished reluctantly.
For a brief second, he thought he saw disappointment flash in her eyes but before he could decide, she smiled and said, "Good, I've missed you." Then she promptly blushed and said, "I'm sorry, I just meant..."
"It's okay," he stopped her. "I've missed you too."
At those words she smiled. He really wanted to kiss her right then and there but he knew that wasn't something that a friend would do, so instead, he smiled back at her. The two of them got up and headed back to the castle, falling back into the comfort of their friendship. The past few months had been awkward but that was quicky overcome. Even though things hadn't happened the way he would have hoped, Harry was very relieved and happier than he had been in a while.
