Disclaimer: If I own them, then there is something wrong with my bank
statement.
And around we go again. Too much dialogue this chapter but it's necessary. Sorry this is so long in coming, but I had finals, and I only come to school two times a week. Mistakes? Plenty I'm sure, just try and forgive me.
So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?
(The Calling: Where ever you will go: Did you really think I could write this fic without using this song at least once?)
Draco wondered exactly what he thought he was doing. Carrying an unconscious girl in the halls passed hours was the perfect way for Filch to catch him. Just what he needed at the moment. Even as he made his way to the Gryffindor common room he wondered what the hell he was going to do there. He didn't know the password and he couldn't bang on the damn portrait until someone answered. But, he reasoned, he'd think of a way to work it out once he got there. Right now he needed to focus on getting Ginny back to safer ground.
When he got to the portrait of the Fat Lady he started stupidly at her. She was sleeping but the minute he put his hand on the door she awakened, thundering, "Password."
Draco opened his mouth to say something (make up something that sounded Gryffindorish –like death to all Slytherins-) But before he could, the portrait swung open.
And out stepped Harry.
"Is someone there?" he asked, but then he saw them; Draco looking near death carrying an unconscious Ginny. Harry stared blankly at the two of them before Draco hissed, "Well are you going to just stand there staring you stupid git, or are you going to let me in?"
Harry shook out of his surprise and ushered them in quickly and quietly. Once they were there, Draco laid Ginny down on a couch and stood silently over her. Abruptly he turned around towards Harry again, his face masked in that impenetrable expressionless ness.
When he spoke his voice was a vocal reflection of his face.
"Harry I'm leaving. I have to go tonight and quickly and I won't be coming back. Did you ever find a counter spell for the link you gave us? Because you have to dissolve this link right now."
Harry swallowed, trying not to let his mouth hang open. Without a word in response to Draco's request he lifted his wand and spoke a low incantation that Draco immediately recognized. The room took on a shimmery glow as it became coated with a Silence Bubble which would effectively let them speak without waking the rest of the dorms.
As soon as the spell took full form Harry turned and faced him.
"Okay. Before I do anything you better tell me what the bloody hell is going on."
Draco threw his hands up in frustration. "Harry I don't have time for this! You know the damn spell, just say it and get it over with---"
"NO. YOU listen to me for a change. First of all, Ginny disappears in the middle of the night and then YOU bring her back unconscious AND bleeding, telling me you're leaving and I'm just supposed to accept that?! Not on your life, Malfoy! If you want to leave this place without a duel then start talking."
Draco growled deep in his throat but he knew when he had pushed Harry far enough. One look at his rival told him that arguing would just make him lose time and he knew he'd be defeated at any duel that was begun. Even though usually Harry's attitude would have sparked him to further entice the boy, he clamped down on his jaw and keeping his eyes narrowed he said,
"Look Potter, Death eaters are coming and they're coming for me. I have to get away. Now I can't very well leave and still have a mind link with Ginny so will you please just say the counter spell and GET OUT OF MY WAY!"
Harry gasped aloud at the information being handed to him. Draco was running away from Hogwarts to escape death eaters. He wanted to leave Ginny behind. Harry saw a million problems with the whole scenario. Taking a step towards Draco he said, "You haven't thought this through in the slightest! If Death eaters are after you then the safest thing you can do is STAY HERE. Go to Dumbledore for help you moron, running away will only get you caught faster!"
"You want me to go to DUMBLEDORE!" shouted Draco "Are you mad? Tell Dumbledore, 'yes sir, my father is a death eater and he's after me, please protect me…' that's insane. First off I don't trust Dumbledore at all and even so, how is HE going to help? Don't you remember third year? He couldn't keep Sirius Black out of Hogwarts and that was just one person. We are talking about a fleet of DEATEATERS. I stand a better chance on my own."
Of course Harry couldn't argue that Sirius Black was not evil, it wouldn't do any good or help the situation. In fact Draco did have a point. Could Dumbledore keep determined death eaters out if they were after someone? But surely if the risk was compared, staying at Hogwarts was safer. And then he looked at Ginny. What would Ginny do with Draco gone?
"Have you thought about her?" asked Harry pointed to the sleeping figure on the couch. "Have you figured out what she's going to think when she wakes up and you're gone? I may hate you, but I'm not blind. You're the only thing that makes her happy. What's to happen when you go gallivanting off, how is she going to cope?"
Draco listened to him with growing rage. Every word personified the frustration he had always felt towards Harry from the first. Springing across the room he grabbed Harry by the scruff of his pajamas and slammed him forcefully against a wall.
"You stupid asshole! It's you and her stupid brothers that make Ginny what she is you know? This constant idea that she's so helpless and dependant on everybody… like if you just fucking leave her alone for two seconds her world's going to shatter, it's disgusting. You think she's so fragile… well it's only skin deep. Underneath that there's this tower of raw energy you've never even seen. Ginny does not need me. She doesn't need those overprotective brutes and she doesn't need YOU. The only person she needs is herself. SHE has enough strength to stand just fine on her own and she's FINALLY realizing that. If you gits would just leave her alone she'd be so much better off…" he trailed off growing gradually introspective as though he temporarily forgot that he had Harry pinned up against a wall. "You really don't have a clue about her in the slightest. You've never seen her in her element… she moves so fast you have to run to keep up with her. It's like she's on fire…." He suddenly snapped back to reality. "You," he sneered "wouldn't have the stamina to keep up with her. You couldn't, even if you tried. She's above and beyond your whole scope of feeling."
At that point Harry yanked himself out of Draco's grip. "Don't go on and on about me not understanding anything. Do you think you are so much better for her? Bringing her in here bleeding like that? You don't even want to see her get better, do you? You want to keep her drowning in this pool of anguish so that you two meet on some bloody level---"
"SHUT UP HARRY!" bellowed Draco "I don't want her to get better? HOW DO YOU FUCKING DARE SAY THAT! Do you know she hasn't cut in three weeks? THREE FUCKING WEEKS!"
"All thanks to you I suppose," muttered Harry "Well well, Draco Malfoy, finally the hero of his own soap drama…"
But Draco didn't blow up this time he just shook his head in a weary, almost defeated way. "Of course you're wrong again. I didn't have anything to do with it. She just discovered herself. You don't know what that's like to realize your own potential. Once you do you just can't settle for things to be the way they were before. It's why I have to leave, why I can't take the risk of being caught by those monsters. And it's why she stopped cutting for awhile, even though she didn't realize it. Oh I don't know how long it will last, but I can tell you this: She needs to know she can depend on herself and that you MORONS will let her do just that. And so help me, if I find out that you people manage to destroy all the progress she's made when I'm gone, I'll come back from the grave if I have to and kill you."
He was dead serious.
Harry straightened himself and looked over to Ginny then back to the glowering figure before him.
"Tell me what I have to do. How can I help or not help… I know you hate me. I know she practically hates me as well. But all I want is for her to be happy and be safe. I'll dissolve your link, but first tell me how to deal with what's going to happen."
Draco felt a surge of anger bubble up in him over the superiority of person that Harry conveyed. He wasn't foolish enough to think Harry was intentionally trying to infuriate him, it was just his nature to be noble. The real truth behind Draco's constant hatred over the 'boy who lived' was that in situations like this, it showed painfully clear how much of a better person Harry was in character. 'Ginny really should love him,' he thought bitterly. But he pushed the thought out of his mind. Instead he fought the urge to antagonize Harry further and answered trying to maintain the same dignity that Harry conveyed, "Don't try and be there for her. However she reacts in the morning the only thing you need to do is be there when she wants you, not when you think she needs you. Believe me she'll let you know. You can't save her, Harry; no one can save anyone from themselves, but you can give her space and give her time until she wants your help. In the meantime just leave her the hell alone. " He paused for a moment and then continued, "Harry have you ever cut yourself?"
Harry jumped at the question. "WHAT?! Of course not!"
Draco rolled his eyes, "No, you asshole, I mean generally just hurt yourself."
"Of course."
"Do you know when a wound starts to heal, it scabs and then it starts itching. You understand that don't you? The itching, that's worse than the pain. Lots of times you just scratch and scratch till you've torn the scab off and it's bleeding again. Letting yourself heal is the hardest part of all. Ginny, she's healing inside, but it's the itching that gets her, it's the itching that gets us all. It's letting ourselves heal. She has to heal herself… you just try and keep her from picking the scabs..."
His face, his whole being changed so much Harry was taken aback. He actually looked human, like he cared and just for a moment Harry understood that there might be something in him that Ginny really did love.
But it was not the time for hindsight or introspection. Harry stepped back from Draco clutching his wand nervously.
"I'll do my best with her, I promise," he said. He waited a moment before he spoke adding, "Are you ready for me to dissolve the link?"
Draco swallowed and then gave a curt nod.
Harry raised his wand a spoke several long words, trying to keep his hands steady for the delicate wrist movements. As soon as the words were spoken, a blaring blue light flashed from the wand and Draco felt a clenching strain pull at his mind. Like a rope being drawn tightly from both ends his mind strained until the metaphysical link snapped leaving in it's place a gaping emptiness that Draco was not prepared for. He almost reeled before he remember he was in front of Harry Potter. He'd be damned before he showed Harry any weakness on his part.
"Did it work?" asked Harry cautiously
For a moment Draco didn't answer and then he simply nodded weakly. Harry began babbling nervously, "There might still be remnants for awhile you know. For an empathy link to work in the first place there has to be some previous connection between the two people, so if you still get echoes of the connection for awhile, don't be surprised. They will fade eventually, but I'm not sure---"
"Harry, will you shut up?" snapped Draco.
Harry kept quiet. He was beginning to think that 'shut up' was his phrase for the year.
Draco wanted to walk over to Ginny, to see her one last time, but he didn't trust himself in the slightest to be near her and think rationally. Instead he stood up straight, glanced her over just once, then nodded to himself as if making a decision and headed towards the portrait. Before he got there though, Harry stopped him.
"Do you know where you're going? Or how you're going to get there?" he asked
Draco shrugged still dazed by the emptiness left after Ginny's mind faded from his and said, "I don't know. Somewhere. Through the forest probably. On foot for the most part, but I'll take that Firebolt 3000 that father bought me. I can't disaparate from here, can I? Probably better anyways, I might fumble it up and start leaving body parts along the way."
Harry nodded silently as he followed Draco out of the portrait.
"Keep an eye out for Filch," he whispered, as they were no longer in the Silence Bubble Harry had created. Draco nodded then disappeared down the corridor.
As Harry re entered the common room he felt suddenly drained. He couldn't believe that what was happening WAS happening. He looked over at Ginny still sleeping and thought of what he was going to say to her in the morning. Then he thought of Draco and his desperately slim chances of escaping the maniacs who were after him. Suddenly he was seized by an idea that he didn't bother to think through, but decided to act upon immediately.
Draco was slinking down the halls trying to get back to the Slytherin area so that he could arrange for his escape. He was just turning a corner, when he felt he heard footsteps behind him. Fearing Filch he reared around prepared to blast the man if necessary, but it was Harry again, his arms filled with things.
"Harry what the bloody hell are you doing here?!" he whispered fiercely "Trying to get me caught?'
Harry shook his head breathless and then pushed the bundle he was carrying into Draco's arms.
"What the fuck is all this?" hissed Draco trying to get a hold on what Harry had given him.
"Just open it you git," muttered Harry in a dizzy way, still breathing hard from his flight.
Draco unraveled the bundle and watched as a gaping cloak spilled onto the floor.
"An Invisibility Cloak?" he said astonished.
"My father's," explained Harry quickly. "And here is a map of Hogwarts, that shows where everyone is inside it. See that dot there is for Filch. You're lucky he is on the north tower tonight. I want to show you this passage here by the Hag statue. Filch doesn't know of it and it leads straight to Hogsmeade. You can find your way better after that."
Draco just stared from the items to Harry and then back again, completely lost for words. Was Harry helping him? Why was he helping a sworn enemy?
"Harry are you mad?" he said "Why are you doing this?"
Harry smiled. "I'm the hero, remember? This is what heroes do. Now get out of here, Filch is on the move."
Draco stared at Harry for a moment longer and then threw the cape over himself and vanished from sight. As he rushed down the corridors he finally felt it dawn on him. He had always wondered how the good side won when they never compromised, never betrayed. But right then it was clear. Good people won because they did the right thing.
Ginny's consciousness swam forward, fighting towards the light like a swimmer in deep water trying to reach air. Pushing through the swamp of her unconsciousness she fought forward, reaching… and suddenly she was awake. Sitting up groggy from the sleeping spell she blinked uncertainly at her surroundings.
She was in her nightgown, on a couch in the common room. And this was all wrong. She shouldn't have been there at all, but her mind wasn't working and she wasn't sure why. It felt just like Christmas morning all over again.
Christmas.
Goyle.
Draco.
Where was Draco?
And it hit her all again in that same dizzy whirlwind of emotions and she knew she should be with Draco but she wasn't and then she realized…
She couldn't feel him in her mind.
Panicked ripped through her and she leaped off the couch, stumbling to the floor. She was here and Draco wasn't and that was wrong. She needed to find him, find why he wasn't there, why she was there and why she couldn't feel him in her mind.
And as she stood up shaking, she found she was facing a very weary Harry.
He looked awful. She had never seen him look so drained. But she didn't want to deal with Harry so she pretended not to be interested in him and simply walked passed him to the portrait.
"Ginny it's just barely passed five in the morning. You don't want to be up right now."
"Harry…" she muttered impatiently.
"Ginny it's raining outside and you're in your nightgown. You can't go out doors in these conditions---"
"Harry who said I wanted to go outside?"
He face froze as if he had over stepped some boundary.
"Harry," she said carefully, "Is there something you know that I don't?"
Harry began to chew his lip. There was no point in beating around the bush on this, but he didn't want to be the one to tell her… but then who was going to? Was she supposed to wait until they discovered him gone at breakfast?
Becoming resolute he said, "Ginny, Draco brought you back last night. You were unconscious and he made me revoke the empathy link I gave you. He left. He is trying to get away from those people who are after him, but he wants to do it on his terms…"
Harry felt his voice trailing off. Her face had gone ashen, whiter than the blood stained nightgown she had on and her freckles struck out so sharply it liked she was pox-scarred. For a moment he thought she would faint, but she didn't. As soon as he stopped talking she spun away from him and went tearing down the hall as if a league of dragons were after her. Or she was after them.
Harry had finally learned not to follow her. So instead he went back to common room and wandered up the steps to his dorm room. And from there he looked out of the window to the dreary gray morning that was splattered with rain. He wondered if Draco was out there in that cold and if Ginny was going to follow. He wonder if anything, even the love of her family would stop her if she made up her mind to go after him.
He wasn't sure how long he was staring out the window when he saw her; a tiny figure in white looking lost, wandering through the rain. His heart wrenched inside him at the sight of her. He wanted desperately to run down and get her, to bring her upstairs and keep her dry and warm and safe. But he couldn't. He could catch her when she finally fell down in the mud. He couldn't carry her upstairs, and he couldn't save her. He could only watch and wait.
Slowly he saw her pick her self up and stand. For a long moment she stared in the direction of the forest but then she turned around and headed back slowly to the school.
Harry couldn't stop himself from going back down to the common room and awaiting her return. She entered the room some time later, wet and shivering, looking so frail that he was tempted to just wrap her up in his arms right there, but the look on her face stopped him dead.
"He left me. Just like that. Left me here all alone…"
Harry felt himself growing red as he stuttered, "No no it wasn't like that at all! He had to get away and he didn't have a choice. He said that he didn't have any options and that he loved you---"
"LIAR!" she shouted angrily "Draco would die before he ever admitted that to you. If you're going to lie to me at least try and make it realistic."
Harry rub his temples in agitation, having already split his lip earlier; he hadn't meant to make up anything. Rethinking his next words careful he said, "You're right he didn't say he loved you. He didn't have to. It just showed. You're the only thing I've ever seen that makes Draco Malfoy turn human. Ginny—" he took a hold of her shoulders gently but firmly. "If there's one thing I've learned in all this it's that you can't save everyone. And –" he recalled Draco's own words "You can't save people from themselves. You can help but they have to do it on their own. Draco has to do this on his own."
For a moment he thought he had gotten through to her but he wasn't sure. She just pulled away and walked almost blindly to a chair. He saw really how tiny she was all wet and muddy, some of her scars seemed to jump out at him. The lightening bolt at her elbow, the 'I hate you' across her chest, which had faded unevenly to look like odd half written letters and the three red marks on her arms. He saw her split bottom lip and her kiss swollen mouth. There was an almost sickly brightness to her eyes and she stared out in front of her and he realized that she was going to become ill if she didn't get changed and warmed up.
"Ginny, go take a bath," he said "Change your clothes and go back to bed. Things will look different in the morning."
Draco had said that once.
She ignored him completely curling up into a protective ball on the chair where she cried harsh racking sobs to herself. Harry knew better than to say anything else, but just sat in chair away from her and waited.
At seven o'clock in the morning Ron Weasley woke up and stretched. It was still early but he knew himself well enough to know that there was no chance of getting back to sleep. He looked around and saw Harry's bed was already empty.
'Count on Harry to make an early start,' he thought. Then he thought that perhaps Hermione was up as well to catch up on studying. The perfect time for him to corner her and tease her with ridiculous innuendo all of which she would brush off while blushing beautifully behind her Arithmancy book. There was no better way to spend a morning.
He leaped out of bed and tiptoed down the steps not wanting to waking anyone else. All would be ruined if they had company (Harry didn't count) and he could…
His planning stopped when he reached the common room. The first thing he saw was an empty table indicated that his lady love was still fast asleep. He then saw Harry also asleep, but he looked a mess. What had he been up to?
He walked further into the room to inspect Harry. It was then that he saw his sister. She was still curled up in the chair, wet muddy and shivering. All thoughts of Harry let him as he rushed over to see her. He leaned over her and touched her cheek. "Ginny winny? Are you---"
He didn't finished his sentence. Her eyes snapped open to reveal a haunted feverish look that he hadn't seen in her since she was five years old and sick with the chicken pox. His analysis of her was rapid:
Cold
Wet
Remnants of what looked like blood smears on her face and hands.
Bottom lip split
Mouth, kiss swollen
Hickey being painfully clear on the left side of her neck.
Absolute lost terror in her eyes
"HARRY WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SISTER!" he bellowed.
Harry awoke startled and gasped at the blaring raving giant who was his best friend. He had never seen him so upset in his life!
"You have FIVE seconds to give me an explanation before I kill you. Start talking."
Harry stuttered rapidly jumping out of the chair, "I didn't do anything to her, I swear by Merlin's beard---"
"WRONG ANSWER," growled Ron advancing quickly. It looked like the scene was about to get very ugly very fast, but Ginny had already jumped up was saying, "Ron RON, stop it! Stop NOW! He didn't do anything, he didn't touch me!"
Ron turned to face his sister standing in that skimpy night gown that was only half dry. She was pale and trembling, but she had a look of such anger and determination that he stopped himself from breaking the general structure of Harry's face.
"Ron you have no right, NO RIGHT to attack anyone like that, especially over me! Just stop all of this now. I'm so tired of you bullying your way into my life like this…"
Ron stepped back stunned to hear her talk like this to him. He opened his mouth to respond but before he could, he watched her sway gentle on her feet, then sink to her knees on the ground. Rushing to her aid, he knelt down next to her, his movements becoming gentle at the sight of her ill, but she pushed him away.
"I'm fine, Ron, just leave me alone," she said wearily, but he ignored her and helped her stand to her feet. As soon he touched her face he felt her burning up with fever.
"That's it, this will have to wait. Ginny you're burning up, I'm taking you to the infirmary."
"No," she protested "I'm fine, I'm just---" but before she could complete the sentence she fell to her knees again.
Ron picked her up without a word and carried her to the portrait that Harry was pushing open and Ginny felt too weak to protest. As he carried her down the halls with Harry behind, that feeling of impending doom almost swallowed him whole. He looked to see her face and saw a glassy look in her eyes that frightened him to no end. He couldn't lose her, not his little Ginny, not his sister…
When he reached the infirmary Madame Pomfrey was already up and about. She took one look at Ginny and called for a bed to brought quickly. Even as they bundled her up in hospital robes, Ron could still plainly see what he was sure Madame Pomfrey noticed and what Harry was clearly trying to avoid.
Scars.
Hundreds on tiny sliver scars… making crowns, crosses and rosaries over his sister's skin.
Thank GOD that's over with! Next chapter is the LAST THANK GOD plus a short epilogue after that. So no, Draco's not joining the Death eaters, no no one is dieing yet (she's just sick it will pass) and NO Draco didn't kill her or anything like that.
Happy ending? Hmm…. It depends on your definition of happy. Are they going to runaway and get married? Of course not. Is she going to fall in love with Harry? Not on your life. Am I going to kill Draco? Don't plan to. Is Draco coming back? Not telling.
Notes to my reviewers:
Jubilee: I know you're a writer… X-men fan? One of my other obsessions. Thanks for all the support.
Lily the undead elf: Do you REALLY think after all the energy I invested making Draco human I would undo it all and make him a death eater? No no… he lives I promise. Happy ending? Depends on your definition of happy…
Darker Child: Hey hunny! I missed you. You know I never feel like a chapter's been reviewed unless you review it. You like NIN too? Cool!! I thought I was the only one into alternative rock. I was listening to the song Long Day (Matchbox 20) and for some reason I thought of you.
'Sorry bout
the attitude
I need to give
When I'm with you
But no none else
Will take this shit from me
And I'm so terrified of no one else but me
I'm here all the time
I won't go away…' Just made me think of you
Look about your friend… you know you're lucky you didn't have to watch it happen. I had a friend who went through something similar (no drugs but all the rest) and I had to be there and watch. That's why I dropped Fanfiction last year… that and the fact that my father wasn't speaking to me. Yeah last summer was straight from hell. So how are you? Doing okay I hope… coming to terms with your school and all those people… it's tough I know. Hang in there and smile fore me. Oh and NEVER stop rambling, that's the way I like, even though the constructive criticism keeps me on the ball. Take care okay? ;)
VioletJersey: aaawwee, don't be depressed because of me… I know this isn't the –ahem- happiest story on fanfic, but it gets… a little less dark. Eventually. Sort of. I think I'll just stop here.
Diamond Tears: Cutting does seem almost common these days. Maybe it's just that stories like this attract people, like moths to a certain flame. I don't know any other cutters around me, and writing on fanfiction has been great in making me feel less of a human island. I know Ginny doesn't come off as being very strong in this… I actually prefer a stronger Ginny as well, but this story put itself together, and being really fucked up doesn't necessarily make you weak (I hope, looks at herself in the mirror). Um… sorry about ch. 5, I needed to write that, but it WAS pretty ugly. No more graphic scenes will be in this story I think, so you're safe there. Hope you like the ending that's coming up…
Nightangel: So how IS your friend? Did you talk to him/her and work things out? I know it sounds weird but there is a huge difference between cutting and finding out a friend of yours is cutting. When that happened to me I literally fell apart. I felt so guilty, like I was directly responsible for my friend's actions. I really hope it worked out with your friend and that you are both okay. And don't worry, you make perfect sense…I'm glad you like my lyrics… I put a lot of work in selecting which songs to use, and I always wondered if anyone ever reads the lyrics anyways, nice to know someone does. I LOVE alternative rock (it's about all I listen to, I can't STAND pop) To throw a few bands at you I like: Incubus, Lifehouse (real faves of mine) Matchbox 20 (Rob is MINE) Staind, Linkin' Park, NIN, Defttones, and lots more.
Kat Riddle: Hi there!
Myself: NEVER stop babbling. I love babbling. I love constructive criticism and I like it when people tell me what they really think of my work (the good, bad and the ugly) but tell me about yourself, why you like the story and how you relate to it, that's why I write it! I want it to be as human as possible.
Dani800: Keep at it. Writing IS an incredible release, never stop. Do you write here at fanfic? Anything I can check out (if I ever find any freaking time to do ANYTHING except write this story…)
Butterflyeforlorne: Happy endings… a lot of people have asked me that. As usual NOT SAYING… but I would like to remind everyone that this story is suppose to be charting Ginny's growth and the things and people that effect it. A happy ending is entirely dependant on peoples views. Just wait and see, it's ending soon enough.
Raven: Wow, I don't think I've even heard from you before. Hey, never worry about reviews being too long… that's the way I like them. I love to hear from all my reviewers, that's what makes writing this so worthwhile. I just have one correction to make: I don't mind when people find my spelling mistakes. Or my Grammar mistakes (looks at Riverwinde and grins) I know how much things like that detract from a story. But as to all the rest you are so very right. So you are a cutter… is this new or old? Not that it's any of my business, or anything I was just curious. Cutting is never something I enjoy. It's a necessity not a luxury. There were times when I can easily say I had no intention of ever stopping… feelings like that go in stages. There are times when I step back and realize I have to get some sort of focus before things go to far. Quitting is something that comes and goes… but it really doesn't matter. As to your description of your life: I'm sorry to say this but how can people be considered your 'best friends' if they don't know you? Isn't that a contradiction of terms? As to the so called perfect life…I know how that feels (except I'm not pretty, but I don't hold it against you that you are ;) But there is a poem I want you to read that I wrote under the name 'nobody important' my other account here. It's called 'Perfect Person'. I think you'll understand it. Some important points: I COMPLETELY understand everything you wrote about. The joy the pain, all of it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS. There are people who can feel you even when you're a million miles away. So hang on. And Papercut is one of my FAVORITE songs… I hear that line 'who laughs every time you fall' and I just cringe.
Mediterranean Queen: Don't worry I didn't kill her off. I told everyone no one was going to die this fic. As to the happy or sad ending which is becoming like the one MILLION dollar question of this fic, you'll see soon.
Alizee: MOST people keep smiling all the time when there in love… has anything in this story ever been according to what most people do? I guess I could have beefed up the romance some, but to be honest I don't like writing sap very much (it leaves this acid taste in my mouth like after you eat too much sugar and I always feel the urge to purge) Again, NO ONE is going to die I promise. Ummm I'm an American, but I live in the Middle East so my computer is filled with all sorts of weird accents because it's double language for Arabic and French.
And around we go again. Too much dialogue this chapter but it's necessary. Sorry this is so long in coming, but I had finals, and I only come to school two times a week. Mistakes? Plenty I'm sure, just try and forgive me.
So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?
(The Calling: Where ever you will go: Did you really think I could write this fic without using this song at least once?)
Draco wondered exactly what he thought he was doing. Carrying an unconscious girl in the halls passed hours was the perfect way for Filch to catch him. Just what he needed at the moment. Even as he made his way to the Gryffindor common room he wondered what the hell he was going to do there. He didn't know the password and he couldn't bang on the damn portrait until someone answered. But, he reasoned, he'd think of a way to work it out once he got there. Right now he needed to focus on getting Ginny back to safer ground.
When he got to the portrait of the Fat Lady he started stupidly at her. She was sleeping but the minute he put his hand on the door she awakened, thundering, "Password."
Draco opened his mouth to say something (make up something that sounded Gryffindorish –like death to all Slytherins-) But before he could, the portrait swung open.
And out stepped Harry.
"Is someone there?" he asked, but then he saw them; Draco looking near death carrying an unconscious Ginny. Harry stared blankly at the two of them before Draco hissed, "Well are you going to just stand there staring you stupid git, or are you going to let me in?"
Harry shook out of his surprise and ushered them in quickly and quietly. Once they were there, Draco laid Ginny down on a couch and stood silently over her. Abruptly he turned around towards Harry again, his face masked in that impenetrable expressionless ness.
When he spoke his voice was a vocal reflection of his face.
"Harry I'm leaving. I have to go tonight and quickly and I won't be coming back. Did you ever find a counter spell for the link you gave us? Because you have to dissolve this link right now."
Harry swallowed, trying not to let his mouth hang open. Without a word in response to Draco's request he lifted his wand and spoke a low incantation that Draco immediately recognized. The room took on a shimmery glow as it became coated with a Silence Bubble which would effectively let them speak without waking the rest of the dorms.
As soon as the spell took full form Harry turned and faced him.
"Okay. Before I do anything you better tell me what the bloody hell is going on."
Draco threw his hands up in frustration. "Harry I don't have time for this! You know the damn spell, just say it and get it over with---"
"NO. YOU listen to me for a change. First of all, Ginny disappears in the middle of the night and then YOU bring her back unconscious AND bleeding, telling me you're leaving and I'm just supposed to accept that?! Not on your life, Malfoy! If you want to leave this place without a duel then start talking."
Draco growled deep in his throat but he knew when he had pushed Harry far enough. One look at his rival told him that arguing would just make him lose time and he knew he'd be defeated at any duel that was begun. Even though usually Harry's attitude would have sparked him to further entice the boy, he clamped down on his jaw and keeping his eyes narrowed he said,
"Look Potter, Death eaters are coming and they're coming for me. I have to get away. Now I can't very well leave and still have a mind link with Ginny so will you please just say the counter spell and GET OUT OF MY WAY!"
Harry gasped aloud at the information being handed to him. Draco was running away from Hogwarts to escape death eaters. He wanted to leave Ginny behind. Harry saw a million problems with the whole scenario. Taking a step towards Draco he said, "You haven't thought this through in the slightest! If Death eaters are after you then the safest thing you can do is STAY HERE. Go to Dumbledore for help you moron, running away will only get you caught faster!"
"You want me to go to DUMBLEDORE!" shouted Draco "Are you mad? Tell Dumbledore, 'yes sir, my father is a death eater and he's after me, please protect me…' that's insane. First off I don't trust Dumbledore at all and even so, how is HE going to help? Don't you remember third year? He couldn't keep Sirius Black out of Hogwarts and that was just one person. We are talking about a fleet of DEATEATERS. I stand a better chance on my own."
Of course Harry couldn't argue that Sirius Black was not evil, it wouldn't do any good or help the situation. In fact Draco did have a point. Could Dumbledore keep determined death eaters out if they were after someone? But surely if the risk was compared, staying at Hogwarts was safer. And then he looked at Ginny. What would Ginny do with Draco gone?
"Have you thought about her?" asked Harry pointed to the sleeping figure on the couch. "Have you figured out what she's going to think when she wakes up and you're gone? I may hate you, but I'm not blind. You're the only thing that makes her happy. What's to happen when you go gallivanting off, how is she going to cope?"
Draco listened to him with growing rage. Every word personified the frustration he had always felt towards Harry from the first. Springing across the room he grabbed Harry by the scruff of his pajamas and slammed him forcefully against a wall.
"You stupid asshole! It's you and her stupid brothers that make Ginny what she is you know? This constant idea that she's so helpless and dependant on everybody… like if you just fucking leave her alone for two seconds her world's going to shatter, it's disgusting. You think she's so fragile… well it's only skin deep. Underneath that there's this tower of raw energy you've never even seen. Ginny does not need me. She doesn't need those overprotective brutes and she doesn't need YOU. The only person she needs is herself. SHE has enough strength to stand just fine on her own and she's FINALLY realizing that. If you gits would just leave her alone she'd be so much better off…" he trailed off growing gradually introspective as though he temporarily forgot that he had Harry pinned up against a wall. "You really don't have a clue about her in the slightest. You've never seen her in her element… she moves so fast you have to run to keep up with her. It's like she's on fire…." He suddenly snapped back to reality. "You," he sneered "wouldn't have the stamina to keep up with her. You couldn't, even if you tried. She's above and beyond your whole scope of feeling."
At that point Harry yanked himself out of Draco's grip. "Don't go on and on about me not understanding anything. Do you think you are so much better for her? Bringing her in here bleeding like that? You don't even want to see her get better, do you? You want to keep her drowning in this pool of anguish so that you two meet on some bloody level---"
"SHUT UP HARRY!" bellowed Draco "I don't want her to get better? HOW DO YOU FUCKING DARE SAY THAT! Do you know she hasn't cut in three weeks? THREE FUCKING WEEKS!"
"All thanks to you I suppose," muttered Harry "Well well, Draco Malfoy, finally the hero of his own soap drama…"
But Draco didn't blow up this time he just shook his head in a weary, almost defeated way. "Of course you're wrong again. I didn't have anything to do with it. She just discovered herself. You don't know what that's like to realize your own potential. Once you do you just can't settle for things to be the way they were before. It's why I have to leave, why I can't take the risk of being caught by those monsters. And it's why she stopped cutting for awhile, even though she didn't realize it. Oh I don't know how long it will last, but I can tell you this: She needs to know she can depend on herself and that you MORONS will let her do just that. And so help me, if I find out that you people manage to destroy all the progress she's made when I'm gone, I'll come back from the grave if I have to and kill you."
He was dead serious.
Harry straightened himself and looked over to Ginny then back to the glowering figure before him.
"Tell me what I have to do. How can I help or not help… I know you hate me. I know she practically hates me as well. But all I want is for her to be happy and be safe. I'll dissolve your link, but first tell me how to deal with what's going to happen."
Draco felt a surge of anger bubble up in him over the superiority of person that Harry conveyed. He wasn't foolish enough to think Harry was intentionally trying to infuriate him, it was just his nature to be noble. The real truth behind Draco's constant hatred over the 'boy who lived' was that in situations like this, it showed painfully clear how much of a better person Harry was in character. 'Ginny really should love him,' he thought bitterly. But he pushed the thought out of his mind. Instead he fought the urge to antagonize Harry further and answered trying to maintain the same dignity that Harry conveyed, "Don't try and be there for her. However she reacts in the morning the only thing you need to do is be there when she wants you, not when you think she needs you. Believe me she'll let you know. You can't save her, Harry; no one can save anyone from themselves, but you can give her space and give her time until she wants your help. In the meantime just leave her the hell alone. " He paused for a moment and then continued, "Harry have you ever cut yourself?"
Harry jumped at the question. "WHAT?! Of course not!"
Draco rolled his eyes, "No, you asshole, I mean generally just hurt yourself."
"Of course."
"Do you know when a wound starts to heal, it scabs and then it starts itching. You understand that don't you? The itching, that's worse than the pain. Lots of times you just scratch and scratch till you've torn the scab off and it's bleeding again. Letting yourself heal is the hardest part of all. Ginny, she's healing inside, but it's the itching that gets her, it's the itching that gets us all. It's letting ourselves heal. She has to heal herself… you just try and keep her from picking the scabs..."
His face, his whole being changed so much Harry was taken aback. He actually looked human, like he cared and just for a moment Harry understood that there might be something in him that Ginny really did love.
But it was not the time for hindsight or introspection. Harry stepped back from Draco clutching his wand nervously.
"I'll do my best with her, I promise," he said. He waited a moment before he spoke adding, "Are you ready for me to dissolve the link?"
Draco swallowed and then gave a curt nod.
Harry raised his wand a spoke several long words, trying to keep his hands steady for the delicate wrist movements. As soon as the words were spoken, a blaring blue light flashed from the wand and Draco felt a clenching strain pull at his mind. Like a rope being drawn tightly from both ends his mind strained until the metaphysical link snapped leaving in it's place a gaping emptiness that Draco was not prepared for. He almost reeled before he remember he was in front of Harry Potter. He'd be damned before he showed Harry any weakness on his part.
"Did it work?" asked Harry cautiously
For a moment Draco didn't answer and then he simply nodded weakly. Harry began babbling nervously, "There might still be remnants for awhile you know. For an empathy link to work in the first place there has to be some previous connection between the two people, so if you still get echoes of the connection for awhile, don't be surprised. They will fade eventually, but I'm not sure---"
"Harry, will you shut up?" snapped Draco.
Harry kept quiet. He was beginning to think that 'shut up' was his phrase for the year.
Draco wanted to walk over to Ginny, to see her one last time, but he didn't trust himself in the slightest to be near her and think rationally. Instead he stood up straight, glanced her over just once, then nodded to himself as if making a decision and headed towards the portrait. Before he got there though, Harry stopped him.
"Do you know where you're going? Or how you're going to get there?" he asked
Draco shrugged still dazed by the emptiness left after Ginny's mind faded from his and said, "I don't know. Somewhere. Through the forest probably. On foot for the most part, but I'll take that Firebolt 3000 that father bought me. I can't disaparate from here, can I? Probably better anyways, I might fumble it up and start leaving body parts along the way."
Harry nodded silently as he followed Draco out of the portrait.
"Keep an eye out for Filch," he whispered, as they were no longer in the Silence Bubble Harry had created. Draco nodded then disappeared down the corridor.
As Harry re entered the common room he felt suddenly drained. He couldn't believe that what was happening WAS happening. He looked over at Ginny still sleeping and thought of what he was going to say to her in the morning. Then he thought of Draco and his desperately slim chances of escaping the maniacs who were after him. Suddenly he was seized by an idea that he didn't bother to think through, but decided to act upon immediately.
Draco was slinking down the halls trying to get back to the Slytherin area so that he could arrange for his escape. He was just turning a corner, when he felt he heard footsteps behind him. Fearing Filch he reared around prepared to blast the man if necessary, but it was Harry again, his arms filled with things.
"Harry what the bloody hell are you doing here?!" he whispered fiercely "Trying to get me caught?'
Harry shook his head breathless and then pushed the bundle he was carrying into Draco's arms.
"What the fuck is all this?" hissed Draco trying to get a hold on what Harry had given him.
"Just open it you git," muttered Harry in a dizzy way, still breathing hard from his flight.
Draco unraveled the bundle and watched as a gaping cloak spilled onto the floor.
"An Invisibility Cloak?" he said astonished.
"My father's," explained Harry quickly. "And here is a map of Hogwarts, that shows where everyone is inside it. See that dot there is for Filch. You're lucky he is on the north tower tonight. I want to show you this passage here by the Hag statue. Filch doesn't know of it and it leads straight to Hogsmeade. You can find your way better after that."
Draco just stared from the items to Harry and then back again, completely lost for words. Was Harry helping him? Why was he helping a sworn enemy?
"Harry are you mad?" he said "Why are you doing this?"
Harry smiled. "I'm the hero, remember? This is what heroes do. Now get out of here, Filch is on the move."
Draco stared at Harry for a moment longer and then threw the cape over himself and vanished from sight. As he rushed down the corridors he finally felt it dawn on him. He had always wondered how the good side won when they never compromised, never betrayed. But right then it was clear. Good people won because they did the right thing.
Ginny's consciousness swam forward, fighting towards the light like a swimmer in deep water trying to reach air. Pushing through the swamp of her unconsciousness she fought forward, reaching… and suddenly she was awake. Sitting up groggy from the sleeping spell she blinked uncertainly at her surroundings.
She was in her nightgown, on a couch in the common room. And this was all wrong. She shouldn't have been there at all, but her mind wasn't working and she wasn't sure why. It felt just like Christmas morning all over again.
Christmas.
Goyle.
Draco.
Where was Draco?
And it hit her all again in that same dizzy whirlwind of emotions and she knew she should be with Draco but she wasn't and then she realized…
She couldn't feel him in her mind.
Panicked ripped through her and she leaped off the couch, stumbling to the floor. She was here and Draco wasn't and that was wrong. She needed to find him, find why he wasn't there, why she was there and why she couldn't feel him in her mind.
And as she stood up shaking, she found she was facing a very weary Harry.
He looked awful. She had never seen him look so drained. But she didn't want to deal with Harry so she pretended not to be interested in him and simply walked passed him to the portrait.
"Ginny it's just barely passed five in the morning. You don't want to be up right now."
"Harry…" she muttered impatiently.
"Ginny it's raining outside and you're in your nightgown. You can't go out doors in these conditions---"
"Harry who said I wanted to go outside?"
He face froze as if he had over stepped some boundary.
"Harry," she said carefully, "Is there something you know that I don't?"
Harry began to chew his lip. There was no point in beating around the bush on this, but he didn't want to be the one to tell her… but then who was going to? Was she supposed to wait until they discovered him gone at breakfast?
Becoming resolute he said, "Ginny, Draco brought you back last night. You were unconscious and he made me revoke the empathy link I gave you. He left. He is trying to get away from those people who are after him, but he wants to do it on his terms…"
Harry felt his voice trailing off. Her face had gone ashen, whiter than the blood stained nightgown she had on and her freckles struck out so sharply it liked she was pox-scarred. For a moment he thought she would faint, but she didn't. As soon as he stopped talking she spun away from him and went tearing down the hall as if a league of dragons were after her. Or she was after them.
Harry had finally learned not to follow her. So instead he went back to common room and wandered up the steps to his dorm room. And from there he looked out of the window to the dreary gray morning that was splattered with rain. He wondered if Draco was out there in that cold and if Ginny was going to follow. He wonder if anything, even the love of her family would stop her if she made up her mind to go after him.
He wasn't sure how long he was staring out the window when he saw her; a tiny figure in white looking lost, wandering through the rain. His heart wrenched inside him at the sight of her. He wanted desperately to run down and get her, to bring her upstairs and keep her dry and warm and safe. But he couldn't. He could catch her when she finally fell down in the mud. He couldn't carry her upstairs, and he couldn't save her. He could only watch and wait.
Slowly he saw her pick her self up and stand. For a long moment she stared in the direction of the forest but then she turned around and headed back slowly to the school.
Harry couldn't stop himself from going back down to the common room and awaiting her return. She entered the room some time later, wet and shivering, looking so frail that he was tempted to just wrap her up in his arms right there, but the look on her face stopped him dead.
"He left me. Just like that. Left me here all alone…"
Harry felt himself growing red as he stuttered, "No no it wasn't like that at all! He had to get away and he didn't have a choice. He said that he didn't have any options and that he loved you---"
"LIAR!" she shouted angrily "Draco would die before he ever admitted that to you. If you're going to lie to me at least try and make it realistic."
Harry rub his temples in agitation, having already split his lip earlier; he hadn't meant to make up anything. Rethinking his next words careful he said, "You're right he didn't say he loved you. He didn't have to. It just showed. You're the only thing I've ever seen that makes Draco Malfoy turn human. Ginny—" he took a hold of her shoulders gently but firmly. "If there's one thing I've learned in all this it's that you can't save everyone. And –" he recalled Draco's own words "You can't save people from themselves. You can help but they have to do it on their own. Draco has to do this on his own."
For a moment he thought he had gotten through to her but he wasn't sure. She just pulled away and walked almost blindly to a chair. He saw really how tiny she was all wet and muddy, some of her scars seemed to jump out at him. The lightening bolt at her elbow, the 'I hate you' across her chest, which had faded unevenly to look like odd half written letters and the three red marks on her arms. He saw her split bottom lip and her kiss swollen mouth. There was an almost sickly brightness to her eyes and she stared out in front of her and he realized that she was going to become ill if she didn't get changed and warmed up.
"Ginny, go take a bath," he said "Change your clothes and go back to bed. Things will look different in the morning."
Draco had said that once.
She ignored him completely curling up into a protective ball on the chair where she cried harsh racking sobs to herself. Harry knew better than to say anything else, but just sat in chair away from her and waited.
At seven o'clock in the morning Ron Weasley woke up and stretched. It was still early but he knew himself well enough to know that there was no chance of getting back to sleep. He looked around and saw Harry's bed was already empty.
'Count on Harry to make an early start,' he thought. Then he thought that perhaps Hermione was up as well to catch up on studying. The perfect time for him to corner her and tease her with ridiculous innuendo all of which she would brush off while blushing beautifully behind her Arithmancy book. There was no better way to spend a morning.
He leaped out of bed and tiptoed down the steps not wanting to waking anyone else. All would be ruined if they had company (Harry didn't count) and he could…
His planning stopped when he reached the common room. The first thing he saw was an empty table indicated that his lady love was still fast asleep. He then saw Harry also asleep, but he looked a mess. What had he been up to?
He walked further into the room to inspect Harry. It was then that he saw his sister. She was still curled up in the chair, wet muddy and shivering. All thoughts of Harry let him as he rushed over to see her. He leaned over her and touched her cheek. "Ginny winny? Are you---"
He didn't finished his sentence. Her eyes snapped open to reveal a haunted feverish look that he hadn't seen in her since she was five years old and sick with the chicken pox. His analysis of her was rapid:
Cold
Wet
Remnants of what looked like blood smears on her face and hands.
Bottom lip split
Mouth, kiss swollen
Hickey being painfully clear on the left side of her neck.
Absolute lost terror in her eyes
"HARRY WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SISTER!" he bellowed.
Harry awoke startled and gasped at the blaring raving giant who was his best friend. He had never seen him so upset in his life!
"You have FIVE seconds to give me an explanation before I kill you. Start talking."
Harry stuttered rapidly jumping out of the chair, "I didn't do anything to her, I swear by Merlin's beard---"
"WRONG ANSWER," growled Ron advancing quickly. It looked like the scene was about to get very ugly very fast, but Ginny had already jumped up was saying, "Ron RON, stop it! Stop NOW! He didn't do anything, he didn't touch me!"
Ron turned to face his sister standing in that skimpy night gown that was only half dry. She was pale and trembling, but she had a look of such anger and determination that he stopped himself from breaking the general structure of Harry's face.
"Ron you have no right, NO RIGHT to attack anyone like that, especially over me! Just stop all of this now. I'm so tired of you bullying your way into my life like this…"
Ron stepped back stunned to hear her talk like this to him. He opened his mouth to respond but before he could, he watched her sway gentle on her feet, then sink to her knees on the ground. Rushing to her aid, he knelt down next to her, his movements becoming gentle at the sight of her ill, but she pushed him away.
"I'm fine, Ron, just leave me alone," she said wearily, but he ignored her and helped her stand to her feet. As soon he touched her face he felt her burning up with fever.
"That's it, this will have to wait. Ginny you're burning up, I'm taking you to the infirmary."
"No," she protested "I'm fine, I'm just---" but before she could complete the sentence she fell to her knees again.
Ron picked her up without a word and carried her to the portrait that Harry was pushing open and Ginny felt too weak to protest. As he carried her down the halls with Harry behind, that feeling of impending doom almost swallowed him whole. He looked to see her face and saw a glassy look in her eyes that frightened him to no end. He couldn't lose her, not his little Ginny, not his sister…
When he reached the infirmary Madame Pomfrey was already up and about. She took one look at Ginny and called for a bed to brought quickly. Even as they bundled her up in hospital robes, Ron could still plainly see what he was sure Madame Pomfrey noticed and what Harry was clearly trying to avoid.
Scars.
Hundreds on tiny sliver scars… making crowns, crosses and rosaries over his sister's skin.
Thank GOD that's over with! Next chapter is the LAST THANK GOD plus a short epilogue after that. So no, Draco's not joining the Death eaters, no no one is dieing yet (she's just sick it will pass) and NO Draco didn't kill her or anything like that.
Happy ending? Hmm…. It depends on your definition of happy. Are they going to runaway and get married? Of course not. Is she going to fall in love with Harry? Not on your life. Am I going to kill Draco? Don't plan to. Is Draco coming back? Not telling.
Notes to my reviewers:
Jubilee: I know you're a writer… X-men fan? One of my other obsessions. Thanks for all the support.
Lily the undead elf: Do you REALLY think after all the energy I invested making Draco human I would undo it all and make him a death eater? No no… he lives I promise. Happy ending? Depends on your definition of happy…
Darker Child: Hey hunny! I missed you. You know I never feel like a chapter's been reviewed unless you review it. You like NIN too? Cool!! I thought I was the only one into alternative rock. I was listening to the song Long Day (Matchbox 20) and for some reason I thought of you.
'Sorry bout
the attitude
I need to give
When I'm with you
But no none else
Will take this shit from me
And I'm so terrified of no one else but me
I'm here all the time
I won't go away…' Just made me think of you
Look about your friend… you know you're lucky you didn't have to watch it happen. I had a friend who went through something similar (no drugs but all the rest) and I had to be there and watch. That's why I dropped Fanfiction last year… that and the fact that my father wasn't speaking to me. Yeah last summer was straight from hell. So how are you? Doing okay I hope… coming to terms with your school and all those people… it's tough I know. Hang in there and smile fore me. Oh and NEVER stop rambling, that's the way I like, even though the constructive criticism keeps me on the ball. Take care okay? ;)
VioletJersey: aaawwee, don't be depressed because of me… I know this isn't the –ahem- happiest story on fanfic, but it gets… a little less dark. Eventually. Sort of. I think I'll just stop here.
Diamond Tears: Cutting does seem almost common these days. Maybe it's just that stories like this attract people, like moths to a certain flame. I don't know any other cutters around me, and writing on fanfiction has been great in making me feel less of a human island. I know Ginny doesn't come off as being very strong in this… I actually prefer a stronger Ginny as well, but this story put itself together, and being really fucked up doesn't necessarily make you weak (I hope, looks at herself in the mirror). Um… sorry about ch. 5, I needed to write that, but it WAS pretty ugly. No more graphic scenes will be in this story I think, so you're safe there. Hope you like the ending that's coming up…
Nightangel: So how IS your friend? Did you talk to him/her and work things out? I know it sounds weird but there is a huge difference between cutting and finding out a friend of yours is cutting. When that happened to me I literally fell apart. I felt so guilty, like I was directly responsible for my friend's actions. I really hope it worked out with your friend and that you are both okay. And don't worry, you make perfect sense…I'm glad you like my lyrics… I put a lot of work in selecting which songs to use, and I always wondered if anyone ever reads the lyrics anyways, nice to know someone does. I LOVE alternative rock (it's about all I listen to, I can't STAND pop) To throw a few bands at you I like: Incubus, Lifehouse (real faves of mine) Matchbox 20 (Rob is MINE) Staind, Linkin' Park, NIN, Defttones, and lots more.
Kat Riddle: Hi there!
Myself: NEVER stop babbling. I love babbling. I love constructive criticism and I like it when people tell me what they really think of my work (the good, bad and the ugly) but tell me about yourself, why you like the story and how you relate to it, that's why I write it! I want it to be as human as possible.
Dani800: Keep at it. Writing IS an incredible release, never stop. Do you write here at fanfic? Anything I can check out (if I ever find any freaking time to do ANYTHING except write this story…)
Butterflyeforlorne: Happy endings… a lot of people have asked me that. As usual NOT SAYING… but I would like to remind everyone that this story is suppose to be charting Ginny's growth and the things and people that effect it. A happy ending is entirely dependant on peoples views. Just wait and see, it's ending soon enough.
Raven: Wow, I don't think I've even heard from you before. Hey, never worry about reviews being too long… that's the way I like them. I love to hear from all my reviewers, that's what makes writing this so worthwhile. I just have one correction to make: I don't mind when people find my spelling mistakes. Or my Grammar mistakes (looks at Riverwinde and grins) I know how much things like that detract from a story. But as to all the rest you are so very right. So you are a cutter… is this new or old? Not that it's any of my business, or anything I was just curious. Cutting is never something I enjoy. It's a necessity not a luxury. There were times when I can easily say I had no intention of ever stopping… feelings like that go in stages. There are times when I step back and realize I have to get some sort of focus before things go to far. Quitting is something that comes and goes… but it really doesn't matter. As to your description of your life: I'm sorry to say this but how can people be considered your 'best friends' if they don't know you? Isn't that a contradiction of terms? As to the so called perfect life…I know how that feels (except I'm not pretty, but I don't hold it against you that you are ;) But there is a poem I want you to read that I wrote under the name 'nobody important' my other account here. It's called 'Perfect Person'. I think you'll understand it. Some important points: I COMPLETELY understand everything you wrote about. The joy the pain, all of it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS. There are people who can feel you even when you're a million miles away. So hang on. And Papercut is one of my FAVORITE songs… I hear that line 'who laughs every time you fall' and I just cringe.
Mediterranean Queen: Don't worry I didn't kill her off. I told everyone no one was going to die this fic. As to the happy or sad ending which is becoming like the one MILLION dollar question of this fic, you'll see soon.
Alizee: MOST people keep smiling all the time when there in love… has anything in this story ever been according to what most people do? I guess I could have beefed up the romance some, but to be honest I don't like writing sap very much (it leaves this acid taste in my mouth like after you eat too much sugar and I always feel the urge to purge) Again, NO ONE is going to die I promise. Ummm I'm an American, but I live in the Middle East so my computer is filled with all sorts of weird accents because it's double language for Arabic and French.
