Somewhere in the known Gamma Quadrant...



COMES THE WONDROUS ADVENTURES OF


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TULK
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~~~ Episode 4 - The case of the missing episode ~~~

## Meeting Room##

Hammond: I've called you all here for a very important meeting.

*He tries to frown his forehead yet there seems to be no wrinkles at all!*

Hammond: As you may have noticed time has suddenly accelerated.

* SG-1 shrugs. Jack appears to have a beard down to his knee. Sam has long hair too. Though TULK is still bald along with Hammond and strangely enough, Daniel's hair has turned shorter into a more stylish look for the new millennium *

Sam: whee....av...o.....loo.....in..o... this! *she can barely speak through her bungle of hair!*

Jack: Well, out of personal experience I have to say, this has been a miracle *runs his hand through his new thick, curly hair.*

TULK: *looks none the wiser* Indeed!

Sam: wee....av........to locattttt.....ar....tim.......perio.......an.....hopfu.....rever......s.......effec.....

Hammond: All in favour?

Daniel: Aye

TULK: Yes

Hammond: Then, let's get started Captain.

TULK: *frowns*

Sam: Wew...por....a..star...we..shu......ARRGHHH!!!!

*The lights dim and a thudding noise is heard *

* Power returns but to the Star's surprise, Zoe wasn't found lying in front of Jack... *

*Sam was dead!!!!*

Daniel: *feels around a bit* It appears she has had a heart attack. But how could this have happened?

TULK: I know exactly how this has happened. *he rips Jack's hair off in one swift stroke*

Linea Agrrrrr! How did you know?


TULK: It was quite simple: Jack would never have thick, curly hair. Not in one million of your earth years. And of course, only a true woman would be able to speak through her silly hair!

Hammond: Well done TULK. Guard, escort her to a detaining cell. If you'd excuse me, I'd have to be going..

TULK: Not so fast tubby!

: 0

*He makes a dash for the door but is quickly blocked off by the 200-lb beast!*

Hammond: TULK! I order you to stand down!

TULK: Ha ha ha! Khorne shall be nourished with your blood! *he brings his arm up*

*Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click,*

Hammond: I TOLD YOU to stand down.

* TULK lifts his arm down as there appears to be a somewhat large arsenal aiming at various bodily organs in TULK's person*

Hammond: Go back to your quarters TULK. *guess what? His eyes flash *

##TULK's quarters##

* Our star is doing that strange meditation thing . Suddenly it all fits into place. All the men seem to be obeying the general; Sam, a woman dies....*

HATHOR!!!

*Yet again, myself, the writer brings her into the plot. But what about Daniel Jackson, I didn't notice any strange behaviour from him. Is he immune??? Also, who is the host of Hathor???*

TULK: It is time to make my move! *with a quick reverse punch he knocks down the reinforced steel door*

*While dodging bullets he picks up Daniel and heads for the control room*

*Yes, the reciprocal solar flair was right on time. The co-ordinates were in. Soon they would be back in their own time stream*

*The ex-champion of the first prime poker tournament takes a bullet in the leg, but this does not slow him down. They are now on their way to the gate room*

Hathor/Hammond: Not so fast, TULK.

*TULK's eyes pop out and Daniel cries*

TULK: General! You are Hathor?

Hathor/Hammond: Yes I am. I know, this 'oribble flabby body don't look to good with my metal bra and thong. But if it wasn't for you, that loverrrrrly Janet would still be around.

TULK: Damn! I should of recognised that cosmetic surgery on your forehead. But how did you know we would try and escape?

Daniel: Ha ha ha!!!!!!! You never suspected meeeeeeeeeee you twit!!!!

TULK: AAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHH *he throws the naughty little man at a semi-naked general and scores a strike*

* With a hop skip and a jump, TULK is home free through the Stargate *

##Gate Room - Present day##

Sam: Oh my gosh!

Daniel: This can't be right.

TULK: indeed.

TULK FROM THE FUTURE: nooooooooooooooo!!!!

Jack: Wooooooo! Hell yeeeer!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

How will the two TULKs merge back together?

Will the answer be in the new Austin Power's film, as there is now an Austin from ten minutes from now as well as the original?

What about all the other unanswered questions from the last chapter?

And why is Jack so happy about an extra TULK??? :(


Keep informed of the next interesting incarpment of

"THE WONDROUS ADVENTURES OF TULK"