Friday:

"Jessie! Phone!" Rick shouted up the stairs at her.

"Okay! I got it!" She yelled back down at him. "Hello," she said into the receiver, hoping that it was Katie.

"Hi honey," Karen said from the other end. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing really. Katie's coming over in a little while. Why?" Jessie asked, suspiciously.

"No reason. I heard that there was going to be a dance at your school. Are you going?" Karen asked, finally getting to the point.

"It's for the Gay-Straight Alliance," Jessie said matter-of-factly. Karen didn't respond to that. "I'm not gay," she continued hesitantly, biting her lip and closing her eyes. She hated saying that.

"I know that honey," Karen replied in an 'I know that' tone. "I was just wondering because you are straight," she said.

"I wasn't planning on it Mom. Besides, I don't even have a date," she wanted to cry right now. Jessie hated lying to her mom, but she had to.

"There's Tad," Karen said with a big grin on her face.

"I'm over Tad. He's a big jerk," Jessie sighed.

"Well, you and Katie could go," Karen suggested and Jessie groaned. "You two are good friends, why can't you two go together?" She was thoroughly confused as why Jessie wouldn't want to go with her.

"We just can't," Jessie said. It was not a very good excuse. "Look, Mom, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later. Bye," she said, trying to get out of this conversation.

"Okay. Bye sweetie," Karen said, still confused about Jessie's reaction.

In the front of the house, Katie was mentally preparing herself before knocking. She was pacing back and forth, trying to figure out the best way to talk to Jessie. Before she had a chance to figure it out, the door opened and Zoe was standing there. "Hey Zoe," Katie said, surprised to see Zoe there.

"Hi Katie," Zoe said. "You've been walking back and forth for about ten minutes now. Mom got worried and wanted me to come out here and see if you were all right or if you wanted to come in," she spewed out in one breath, not looking at Katie's reaction.

"I'm fine. I was just thinking. I was getting ready to knock," Katie said with a smile. "Is Jessie around?" She asked, shifting the conversation.

"Yeah. She's up in the attic. You know, like she always is," Zoe said, rolling her eyes at the so very obvious answer.

"Right. I know that. I just wasn't sure if she was home or not," Katie said looking at her feet.

"Whatever you say," Zoe grinned as she walked away so Katie could come in. Katie walked in slowly and took her time getting to Jessie's room so that she could figure out what to say to Jessie. "Hey there," she said as she walked up into Jessie's room.

"Hey," Jessie said, her face instantly lighting up. "How are you?" She asked with a smile.

Katie smiled back, glad to see her smile. "I'm doing good," she said, sitting next to Jessie on her bed. "You?"

"I'm fine now that you're here," she said. "Grace has been harassing me more often than usual," Jessie rolled her eyes. Katie's smile faded because she knew what Grace was harassing Jessie about. Jessie noticed the change in Katie's demeanor. "What did you want to talk about?" She asked, growing serious again.

"The dance," Katie said, closing her eyes, not sure how Jessie would react.

"Katie!" Jessie yelled, jumping into a standing position. "You said that you wouldn't push it," she said angrily.

"I'm sorry Jessie, but I really want to go with you. We don't even have to go as a couple," Katie pleaded. "Jess, come on. Let's just go," she said.

"Why are you pushing this Katie? It's just a stupid dance," Jessie said, swinging her arms in total frustration.

"I know, it is stupid. But if it's so stupid, then why can't we go? Is it because you are afraid of people finding out about us?" Katie said, standing up to face Jessie.

"Nobody needs to know about us. We don't need to tell anyone," Jessie pleads softly.

"Like hell they don't!" Katie yells. "I want people to know. I want everyone to know how I fell about you Jess," she says, beginning to calm down.

"Why? I know how you feel, that should be enough," Jessie tried to reason. "We don't need to go to some dance to show people how we feel. It's not what I...we are, but that's how people will treat it," she says, beginning to tear up.

"I agree. It's not what we are, but it is who we are...who you are. Everyone deserves to know about us and you need to stop denying it. Stop being so goddamned afraid. You need to be honest with yourself...for your sake, not mine."

"I am," Jessie argues weakly.

"No Jess, you aren't. When we are alone, things are great, but when other people are around, you pull a total 180.You won't touch me or look at me. I fell like you pushing me away," Katie said, anger rising back up.

"Stop it!" Jessie cries. "Just stop it! This isn't about that. I am not pushing you away. I'm just really confused."

"Confused? About what?" Katie yells. "We care about each other and we are together. I wish you would accept the fact that you are gay. Stop pretending you're something you're not around everyone else."

"I can't," Jessie said softly, but not willing to relent.

"Damn it Jess! Stop this!" Katie yelled, running her hands through her hair. She looked up with tears in her eyes. "Do you think I ruined your life?" She asked quietly.

"What? I never said that," Jessie said, her eyes growing wide.

"You didn't have to Jessie. I feel you feeling it. You think that I'm the last thing you need. You're ashamed and that's why you won't say anything about us," Katie accused.

"No!" Jessie yelled back. "Last year I had to deal with everyone finding out that I was anorexic. This year I had to deal with people talking about my suicide attempt. Can I keep it down to one crisis per year please?" She shouted.

"Is that what this is, a crisis?" Katie asked incredulously. "Am I just something you're using to get over your suicide attempt? Am I your little lapse in judgment due to severe blood loss?!" Katie screeched, tears flowing.

"What? Katie no. You're not a lapse in judgment," Jessie said. "I really care about you," she said softly.

"Then go with me," Katie said, tears still present. "Go to the dance with me Jess, please," she said, grabbing Jessie's hand.

Jessie looked down at their entwined hands, then back up to Katie. "I can't," she breathed out with tears of her own.

Katie dropped Jessie's hand without breaking eye contact. "You know what? I thought you were pushing me away, that I was losing you, but we were never together to begin with," Katie said harshly with tears still sliding down her face.

"What...What do you mean?" Jessie asked, unsure of what Katie was thinking.

"We were never really together Jess. Physically, yes, we were, but emotionally, no. You were never really there," Katie said sadly.

"That is not true and you know it!" Jessie shouted through her new set of tears.

Katie just ignored her. "I think that you're afraid to be happy. You have to keep torturing yourself and putting yourself down just so that you can get out of bed in the morning. You can't do that because it's not healthy Jess. You need to be honest with everyone, yourself included," she said mournfully, putting a hand on Jessie's shoulder.

Jessie shrugged it off and backed away. "I can't! Nobody can know Katie! They just can't," she cried.

"Why? Because then you wouldn't be 'perfect' anymore? Face it Jess, you are not perfect. That image died a long time ago. And why do you care what people think of you? Fuck the world and everyone in it! Jessie, I love you! I love you, but you don't feel the same," Katie said, getting choked up with emotion.

"What?" Jessie gasps.

"I can't be with you if I have to hide how I'm feeling. If I'm hiding, then I'm not really with you, am I?" Katie asked, looking into Jessie's clouded eyes.

"Katie, don't," Jessie squeaks out through her tears.

"This...us, it isn't working. It won't work until you stop being afraid."

"I can't do it. Not now. I'm not ready. I'm not sure that I ever will be," Jessie said, looking down at her feet and away from Katie's eyes.

"I am going to ask you one more time. Will you go to the dance with me?" Katie asked slowly.

Jessie looks up, tears brimming. She opens her mouth, but the closes it again. She looks away again. "No," she chokes out.

Katie nods her head numbly. She reaches over and puts a hand on each side of Jessie's face to make her look at her. "I love you, but you won't let me," she said softly. There is a pause for Jessie to respond, but she doesn't, she's too shocked. "Goodbye Jess," she said, giving Jessie one last kiss. Katie walked down to leave. "Have a nice life," she threw sarcastically over her shoulder before exiting.

"I love you too," Jessie whispers to herself once Katie is gone and she's regained her voice. She lets herself fall to the bed before she starts to completely lose it.

She reached over and picked up the phone. Jessie dialed a number and let it ring before someone finally picked up. "Sarah?" She cried into the phone.

Katie went stalking down the stairs with her eyes red from crying. She was still crying. "Katie? What's wrong?" Grace asked as Katie passed her room.

Katie was shocked to see Grace. Even more shocked that Grace didn't hear them. "It's nothing," she said, walking out the door. Grace scoffed as she glared upstairs toward Jessie's room. Then she kicked herself because Katie followed her advice. She sighed, then went back into her room so that Jessie can have time to herself.

Katie marched into her car and waited so that she could regain her composure and catch her breath. She turned on the radio.

You and I got something/ But it's all and then it's nothing to me/ And I got my defenses when it come to your intentions for me/ And we wake up in the breakdown of the things we never thought we would be/ I'm not the one who broke you/ I'm not the one you should fear/ What do you got to move you darling/ I thought I lost you somewhere/ But you were never really ever there at all/ And I want to get free/ Talk to me/ I can feel you falling/ And I wanted to be all you nee/ Somehow here is gone/ I have no solution to the sound of this pollution in me/ I was not the answer so forget you ever thought it was me/ I'm not the one who broke you/ I'm not the one you should fear/ What do you got to move you darling/ I thought I lost you somewhere/ But you were never really ever there at all/ And I want to get free/ Talk to me/ Somehow here is gone/ And I don't need the fallout of all the past that's there between us/ And I'm not holding on/ And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here/ And I want to get free/ Talk to me/ I can feel you falling/ And I wanted to be all you need/ Somehow here is gone/ And I know you're out there/ I know you're out there/ And I can feel you falling/ I know you're out there/ I know you're out there/ Somehow here is gone/

"What do you want?" Grace sniped as she answered the door to find Sarah standing there.

Sarah was equally happy to see Grace. "Jessie called me. She's really upset. Where is she? What the hell happened?" She growled.

Grace, who didn't want Sarah to know that she had anything to do with it, just shrugged. "How am I supposed to know? She's not my friend or my girlfriend," Grace said, letting her in. "She's up in her room."

Sarah bolted upstairs and Grace scowled after her. "Jessie," Sarah said as she gently knocked on Jessie's door.

"Yeah, come in," Jessie sniffed out through a sob, she was still crying...hard.

"Oh, Jess," Sarah said, going over to sit next to Jessie. "What happened?" She asked sympathetically.

Jessie leaned on Sarah and Sarah put her arms around her, not knowing what else to do. "Katie broke up with me," she sobbed.

Sarah didn't see that coming as she hugged Jessie tighter. "I'm sorry Jess. Why?" She asked, not knowing what to expect.

"She said that she wanted people to know about us. I...I told her that I didn't. She called me afraid...said that I didn't want to be happy. I told her that I didn't want to go to the dance," Jessie cried, grabbing onto the material of Sarah's shirt as she continued crying.

"It'll be okay Jess," she said, in what she hoped was a comforting voice.

"No it won't. She told me that she loved me and that I didn't feel the same. I...I didn't say anything. I just...froze," she replied in between sobs.

"Do you love her?" Sarah asked curiously. She felt Jessie nod in her shoulder. She forced Jessie to look at her. "It will be okay Jess," she said slowly and gently.

Jessie looked up at her with her eyes red and swollen from crying. She leaned in and started kissing Sarah and Sarah started kissing back.