Title: Ready for Love

Author: SpikesPet

E-mail: spikes_pet@ameritech.net

Rating: G

Distribution: Just let me know where it's going.

Disclaimers: You know the drill…I don't own it and I'm not making any money off it.

Feedback: Adds fuel to the writing machine

Author's note: Yes, this is yet another Spike/Buffy reunion story. For the purpose of this
story there was no attack in the bathroom. I'm keeping this one simple, folks. I don't
wanna deal with that. Besides my Spike wouldn't do that.

Author's note 2: Thanks to my faithful betas: Mezzibelle and JC.


*******************************************************

Buffy knocked on the crypt door. 'Maybe tonight,' she thought to herself. The door
opened and Clem answered. Her heart dropped.

"Have you heard anything yet?" she asked hopefully.

"No, sorry, Buffy. No news," he answered.

"Ok. See ya later, Clem," she said. She turned and slowly walked away.

Clem shut the door and announced, "She's gone. You can come out."

Spike stepped out of the shadows. "What'd she want?"

"Same thing she always wants—you or news about you. How long are you going to keep
this up? I mean she looks so heart broken…"

"I know, I'm just not ready to face her yet," Spike said sadly.

"Ok, but I'm not going to lie for you forever. I'm going home now."

"See you tomorrow night?" Spike asked.

"I guess so." Clem said walking towards the door. He paused and said, "I know it's
none of my business, but you're hurting her more, you know." With that, he left.

"I know," Spike answered though Clem was gone.

*****************************************************************

Buffy lay in bed staring at the ceiling. She was so sure that tonight he would be there.
She could almost feel him. 'Wishful thinking,' she sighed. 'But the dreams…they were
so real. He was back at his crypt and he seemed so sad,' she thought. She turned over
and stared at the window. Part of her expected to see him peeking in at her; but he wasn't
there. 'Where is he?'

***********************************************************************

She woke up to the sound of Dawn clomping around in the bathroom. 'Damn that girl
makes a lot of noise.' She yawned and stretched and finally rolled out of bed. She
walked out of her room and headed downstairs for some much needed coffee.

Dawn followed a few minutes later. "Sleep well?" she asked.

"Like usual," Buffy muttered between sips of her coffee. Dawn dug in the cupboard and
fished out some Pop Tarts. She tossed them into the toaster. Buffy noticed she was
humming.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Oh nothing." Dawn smiled and then began to giggle. "There's this new guy at school.
He's really nice and cute and he asked me out for tonight."

"And just when were you going to get permission?" Buffy said trying to control her
grumpiness.

"That's what I'm doing now."

"Where to?"

"Just the Bronze. We should all go as long as you won't be all clingy and mom-like."

"I guess. At least I can keep an eye on you that way."

Dawn squealed and Buffy cringed at the noise. It was just way to early to be that happy.
"You better get going. You're going to be late."

"Yep. I'm gone. See you after school." She grabbed her Pop Tarts and dashed out the
door.

Buffy sat in the kitchen and thought. Mostly she remembered. She remembered Spike
sitting on the counter talking to her mother and Dawn. At the time she was so angry with
him. Now, she thought it was sweet. As her tears threatened to spill again, she wondered
if they were for her mother or for Spike. She missed them both dearly.

She decided to go upstairs and go back to bed. After all, it was her only day off.

****************************************************************

Buffy got up a couple of hours later and decided to do the laundry. Laundry was easy.
Sort and throw it in. It was almost therapeutic. But more importantly it had been piling
up.

After the laundry was done, Buffy decided it was about time for a shower. She walked in
her bedroom and looked in her closet. 'What to wear used to be a bigger deal,' she
thought. 'That was when there was someone to look at you.'

She only went out on rare occasions. Sometimes men would ask her to dance but she
always declined. She just wasn't interested. Usually she spent the whole time checking
out the dark corners hoping to see Spike lurking. She never found him but she would
usually find at least one vampire getting ready for dinner.

Sometimes she felt like she was losing her mind. She was so sure she could feel him
near. She'd run around looking for him but he wasn't there. She even thought she saw
him outside her window once.

Buffy knew that if she had only been able to tell him how she felt, he'd be here. Instead,
she opted for the 'I could never love you—I was using you' speech. It was simpler. It
was safer. It was probably one of the biggest mistakes she'd ever made. The worst part
was, she knew it was wrong even as the hateful words spilled from her mouth. She was
frightened that if she said 'those words' he'd run off like all the others had. Ironically,
'those words' would have kept him here forever.

Buffy's friends had scarcely noticed how sad she was. Xander did a happy dance every
time he thought about Spike's absence. Willow was too wrapped up in her own issues.
Dawn was a self-absorbed teenager.

Buffy took a shower and got dressed. She briefly glanced through her closet again
selecting something to wear for later. 'Not that it matters,' she thought.

********************************************************************

"Hurry up, Dawn. Your boyfriend will be here any minute," Buffy yelled upstairs. She
could hear Dawn running between her bedroom and the bathroom. Alternating between
changing her outfit, again, and rechecking her hair and make up.

Buffy heard a knock at the door and shouted once more for Dawn to hurry up. Buffy
swung the door open, unsure what to expect. The boy was tall and slender but very good-
looking. Buffy was relieved to find nothing pierced or tattooed. "Hi, you must be
Dawn's date. Come on in."

"Hi. I'm Patrick," he said sticking his hand out to shake hers. 'Polite and confidant, nice
choice Dawn,' she thought with a smile.

Dawn bounced down the stairs. She stopped and looked at her date. With a shy smile
she said, "Hey Patrick, you met my sister, Buffy, right?"

"Yep. You look beautiful. Ready to go?"

"Is it ok if Buffy walks with us? She isn't going to hang around or anything. She's
meeting some people there."

"Fine with me," Patrick said. "Let's go."

***********************************************************************

Buffy entered the Bronze a few minutes behind Dawn and her date. She didn't want to
crowd them. Upon entering she noticed the place was packed and the music was louder
than she remembered. 'Must be getting old. Starting to sound like my mother.'

She walked around looking for Xander and Willow. They were sitting at a small table
apparently deep in conversation. They didn't notice as she walked up and sat down.
"Hey."

"Oh, uh hi Buffy. Didn't see you come in," the red head chirped.

"Buffster," Xander said in greeting. "So where's Dawnie and the mystery man?"

"Dunno, out dancing I'd imagine." She turned and scanned the dance floor. She didn't
see them. "I'm going to go snoop a little," she said to her friends as she got up.

She made it to the edge of the dance floor, which had been quite a task with the number
people here tonight. She spotted Dawn and Patrick dancing. She watched them and
realized how glad she was Dawn had someone. He seemed really nice too.

The loud thumping bass finally stopped. A slow song started and Buffy looked around
wishing Spike were there. As usual, he wasn't. Buffy leaned against a pillar and
watched all the happy couples dance. She closed her eyes as she felt the tears coming.

The song ended and another slow song began. She hadn't ever heard this one before and
something about it caught her attention. It was soulful and very sad. She closed her eyes
and listened intently to the words.

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

*********************************************************

Spike was unsure what made him come. He stood in a dark corner and looked around.
He had seen Dawn come in with a boy. But he could feel that Buffy was there also. As a
slow song started he fully expected to find her dancing with someone. 'Surely, she's
moved on,' he thought grimly.

He spotted her leaning up against a column. He studied her back trying to tell what she
was feeling. He couldn't so he carefully moved to a position in front of her where he
couldn't be seen. She looked so terribly depressed. 'This is all my fault. Maybe I should
go talk to her. After a few months I can't just walk up and say hi. Bloody wanker.'

Spike realized a new song had started. Something about it peaked his interest. Keeping
his eyes on Buffy, he listened to the lyrics in earnest.
I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

******************************************************************

As if they had a mind of their own, Spike's feet began moving. He was walking over to
Buffy and he had no idea what to say. Nor did he know how she would react. His mind
stopped processing thoughts as he found himself directly in front of her.

Buffy was lost in the song. Suddenly she felt someone was staring at her. She looked up
and her jaw dropped. She threw her arms around him in a fierce hug, which he returned
with intensity.

He leaned in and whispered, "Dance with me?"

She responded by taking his hand and dragging him onto the dance floor. As the two
moved in time to the song, both continued to listen to the words. Each identified with so
many of them. It seemed that there was nothing but the two of them and the song; the
rest of the world had melted away.

Lately, I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cuz you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I will prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respects the spirit world and thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering up
My voice, my eyes, my soul, my mind
Tell me what is enough to prove I am ready for love

I am ready

The song ended far too soon. Spike gave Buffy one last squeeze and then pulled away
slightly. Leaning his forehead against hers, he gazed deeply into her eyes. The look they
exchanged needed no words. Slowly Spike let Buffy go and walked away.

Buffy stood and watched him go. Spike was back and though he'd just left her, she knew
what the look meant. He'd be back.

***************************************************
Fin.